I sighed in annoyance. I replayed BTS song "DOPE" for like the 45th time again.

I knew the steps and I was hitting them, I just wanted to make sure I looked perfect for this week.

Nonstop I had been practicing for this performance. I needed to look as good as the boys if not even better. This week. The thought alone frightened me.

I mean I've performed in millions of people, but never people who know nothing about or of me.

This was literally my first impression. I have to make a good one. Everyone will be judging me. I don't want to be known as "that black girl in BTS". I want to be know as "NORMANI THAT TALENTED, AMAZING BLACK GIRL IN BTS".

As first verse started, I took my position and began to sing the lyrics in English.

"Ayo ladies & gentleman

If you're ready, I'll start, yeah

Differently from the other girls

With my style with my style"

I then began to imagine the seven boys around me, I looked at myself in the mirror watching my dance moves.

Hitting the steps and moves. I inhaled and exhaled deeply trying to cornel my breathing.

Five, Six, Seven, Eight... I recounted the steps in my head dancing to the music.

I ended up someone messing up the steps causing myself to grunt in frustration out loud.

I sigh heavily, turning off the music.

"Get it together, Mani", I told myself.

I was brought out of my thoughts when footsteps entered the dance studio room.

I turned to see RM.

"hey", I say softly smiling with an unsteady breathe.

"What are you still doing up? It's almost 5 in the morning", he asks me.

Five? It didn't realize it was that late. I was so busy with practicing. I told myself that I wasn't leaving this room until I got it right. So I wasn't.

"I was just practicing for this week. I want it to be perfect. I mean I know the steps and I hit them but it's like- he cut me off before I could even finish...

"It's like when you think about messing up, you do mess up", he says taking the words right out of my mouth.

My eyes met his.

"Yeah", I explain before grabbing the almost empty bottle of water of the floor so I could drink.

"I know the feeling. When BTS had our first debut I was no nervous on messing up on stage that I actually did", he explains entering the room.

"Really?"

I open the bottle of water , drinking out of it.

"look, normani. You're a great dancer. You have nothing to be nervous about. You've done this a thousand of times in of millions of people. You are going to be just fine" he says trying to calm my nerves.

"But it's different"

"No it isn't", he says sounding as if he was really trying to argue with me on this.

"Yes it is. You wouldn't understand", I say.

He approaches me slowly, causing my air I was breathing to be thick.

"How?", he asks.

"It's different because when I was in fifth harmony I was used to being overlooked meaning I could mess up and no one would notice or even bother to care. It's different because now I get to decide what people should label me as. It's different because I literally just started. It's different because I am a girl... a black girl. Meaning I have to work ten times harder then any of you guys. I want to make a great impression.", I explain causing his expression to change.

"You're right. I never really thought about it like that. I'm sorry" he apologizes, and I could tell from the expression on his face he meant it.

"It's okay", I say before nodding.

I watch as he walks over to front door and proceeds to take off his shoes.

"W-What are you doing?", I asked him in confusion.

"I'm gonna help you practice. I know the steps better then anyone. If you mess up, I'd know", he says.

"You really don't have to do that. I know your tired, it's fine if you want to go to bed"

I assure him that this wasn't necessary. There was no need for him to help me. Even though it was really sweet.

"Just start the music", he says before getting in position.

I bit my lip to hold the smile that wanted to appear on my lips, as I turned on the music.

I glanced over to RapMon who was already looking at one me.

"Five...Six. Five. Six. Seven. Eight", he says before the first verse starts.

"Ayo ladies & gentleman

If you're ready, I'll start, yeah

Differently from the other girls

With my style with my style"

Somehow with RM by my side I was hitting each and every single move. I wasn't messing up like I was doing before.

This might sound like a cliche but maybe RM is my drug to like calm me or help me out when things get rough.

After almost four minutes the song has stopped and RM and I was out of breath.

I smile ear from ear turning to him. "See I told you, you could do it", he says smiling at me noticing how excited I was.

"Something feels off though. You said wanted to make a great impression right?", he asks.

I could tell he was thinking off something.

I arch my eyebrows confusingly.

Answering awkwardly and cautiously, "Yeah".

"I think I might know exactly how you can do that", he says before running his thumb swiftly on his bottom lip meaning he was focused.

What the hell was he thinking?

-

I nodded my head to the beat of the intro. Holy Shit. Rm was really good at producing music. The music stops and RM turns to me wanting my opinion and response.

"So what do you think?", he asked me.

"It's good. No.. it's better then good. That might exactly work", I say.

"I can't help but feel like it's missing something", he says. I nodded biting the corner of my mouth.

The beat was a mixture of "Dope" and my very own single "checklist". It was a perfect beat to dance to as my intro into the group of BTS.

But he was right something was missing.

"Can I try?", I asked him pointing over to the recording booth.

"Sure", he says.

I walked into the recording booth closing the door, walking to the microphone. I picked up the headphones and placed them over my head.

Turning to RM motioning to start the music.

I began to nod my head to the beat.

"hey yeah"

"hey yeah yeah yeah"

I added lip to the mixture where "checklist" was on.

"Oh-oh"

"Oh-oh"

I added lip to the mixture where "Dope" was on. The music stops and I removed the headphones turning to RM who motioned for me to come back into studio.

I walk back out the room, meeting with him.

"Let's see if this works", he says pressing a few buttons before pressing play.

The music began to play, and my voice sounded amazing with the backing vocals of BTS on "Dope" and the dancing part on "Checklist".

I smiled, watching as RM turned off the music and turned to me. "I think your first impression will be more then great", he says.

"Oh my god. I'm so excited. Thank you. Thank you so much", I say jumping on him and hugging him letting the excitement get the best of me.

Before I realized it my arms were around him, as his were around my back. We were literally holding each other.

The awkward silence between us.

"Uh- it's probably late. I'm gonna go to bed. See you in the morning. Goodnight. I mean— sleep well", I ramble on before walking out the studio.