I enter my penthouse apartment followed by Jimin.

"Kookie, how do you keep this place so organized and spotless with your schedule without using hired help? I don't get it," Jimin says shaking his head in disbelief as he makes his way to my kitchen and grabs two beers from the refrigerator.

"Jimin, what are you talking about? Your home is a showplace," I say teasing him as he hands me a cold beer and we settle on my soft, plush couch. He's good with men whereas I'm good with organizing and decorating.

"Kookie, my place is nice because I work at it, or should I say I pay well, and others work at it. I hired an interior designer and my maid is in twice a week," Jimin says comfortably curling his legs under him and leaning his back against the armrest with me at the other end of the couch.

I do the same slipping out of my shoes. That's how it is with us. There's no one I can be as comfortable with. No one I trust as much. I hope to one day find this level of comfort in a mate.

"I'm so glad you were able to come over this evening," I says as I sigh and twist the cap off my beer. He scoffs and then leans away from the armrest.

"Really? You could have called and changed our time to another day, especially when you have a hot hunk like the one I just met in that tTaxi," he says smiling as if he knows more than he's saying.

"No, Jimin, I wanted to see you. I've missed you," I says trying hard to sell him on my falsehood. It's not that I didn't want to see him, but I can't stop thinking about Taehyung . Jimin would likely encourage me to go for more time with Tae.

"Kookie, do me a favor and cut the shit. I don't doubt that you miss me, and I miss you too, but we talk often. Even though we don't see each other as often as we'd like due to our schedules. Rescheduling for another day would have been okay," he says, finally twisting the cap off his beer while giving me an examining look.

"Why would I put our getting together off? Especially with the holidays coming. I miss my brother and you know how this time of the year is for me. I get lonely," I says bringing my bottle to my lips and taking a sip.

"Are you really going to make me say it?" Jimin goads raising an eyebrow and holding his beer as if he is about to take a drink.

"Say what?" I ask tentatively.

"Hahahaha," he laughs, throwing his head back. "You're using me to cock block," he says, taking a sip of his beer not taking his eyes off me.

My jaw slacks and I bite down on my bottom lip, then take another sip of my beverage. I don't respond, I just look down at my beer bottle as if I'm reading the label. Jimin is always able to see through me. There's no deceiving him. Fuck, I don't even know why I try.

"That Kim Taehyung is hotter than I knew possible and he is no pushover. I like that," Jimin says. "And what I like more is that he is crazy about my little brother." He then chuckles, "Sso don't feed me any bullshit about you're so glad I'm here."

I immediately perk up. No one knows men better than Jimin. When he talks, I listen. Yeah, he can be a drama queen at times, but he is usually right in his observations. I'm facing him with my back pressed firmly into the armrest. I then lower my leg and begin anxiously drumming my foot on the floor.

"How do you know that he's crazy about me"?" I say nervously twisting the bottle in my hand.

"Please," he says followed by a scoff, "it was written all over him ,." Jimin says, as he looks at me. "And, you too, Kookie." He then chuckles as my smile fades.

"W-What!? Am I-I that obvious!?" I stammer placing my beer on the table. "Oh God, he knows?"

"Calm your ass down Kookie. You were not obvious to him because he is just as into you as you are into him. He dropped all the signals.; an uncontainable smile, unable to take his eyes off you and more. However, I can tell from your swollen lips that you both were doing a lot more than talking in the back of that cab. So how was it?"

"How was what?" I say pulling a decorative pillow into my lap and diverting my eyes.

"Don't play with me, Kookie! You know what I mean. The kiss. How was it?" He says as his smile widens to a grin.

I immediately close my eyes, toss my head back and release a slow moan.

"Shit. It was that good!?" Jimin shouts startling me a bit as I jump.

"Yes, it was that good. It was so good I wanted more. You know, inviting him up and you know, more." I say and lowering my head and focusing on the pillow as I feel my cheeks heat up.

"What are you, 12? Just say it. You wanted to invite him up and fuck him. You're an adult and you're not a virgin. Goodness knows it's been a long time. It's not a bad thing, Kookie. You're human and you're allowed to have needs," he says as he takes a long sip of his beer.

"You know I don't believe in casual sex. Sex without commitment is not for me, it's icky," I say scrunching up my nose. "It has to mean something. I don't have to have an engagement ring but there needs to be a relationship. I just can't fuck someone because they're hot. God, he's hot. But there has to be more," I say rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh God, how did I forget about your no sex without a commitment rule,?" Jimin teases, shaking his head and then laughing as he slaps his thigh.

"Sometimes, Kookie, you just want to try out the goods. I don't want to get into a relationship and later find out the sex sucks. Physical intimacy is an important part of a relationship. It's been a long time and you've missed out on a lot of hot guys. Sex is also fun and playful."

How could I forget about Jimin's liberal attitudes around sex.? He's not a whore, but if he wants to be with someone he does. He's safe when it come to sex and far more adventurous than me. He couldn't care less about finding his life partner. Or so he says. Men come and go in his life like seasons. They're disposable. He has never been in love, but I think he just hasn't met the right one.

"Jimin, you know I'm not okay with that. I just want one man that will love me and that I can love. And then we will have lots of fun. So, to you it's a crazy fantasy," I says as he rolls his eyes, and I feel dismissed and discounted.

"Don't give me that look, Jimin! This is my opinion," I exclaim as I raise my beer to my lips and take a quick sip.

"Okay Kookie, you're right. I should not have done that. It was insensitive. Tell me again about what you want," he says unfolding his legs and sitting at attention as if he's open to me.

"What, so you can thumb your nose up at me?" I question with a tone of irritation as I lean to the side and place my bottle on the cocktail table in front of me.

"C'mon on Kookie. I like hearing you talk about it," he says with a soft and coaxing smile.

"Why is that, Jimin? You certainly don't believe in it," I says pressing my lips together and releasing a low sigh.

"But you believe it Kookie, and I have no doubt that you'll get it," he says with a bit of sadness in his voice that I'm unfamiliar with as it relates to him. He's always upbeat and certain about everything.

"Really, Jimin?" I ask, connecting to his eyes.

He softly smiles, "Really Kookie. So tell me again, about your future life with the man of your dreams, I'm listening."

"Well okay," I say warning him., "don't go negative on me or I won't share it." He nods as I smile and share.

"We'll be deeply in love, of course, and cooks meals together. I'll keep a nice home. I see us with lots of kids. Maybe, four or five," I say as Jimin's eyes go large.

"Wait a minute, this is new. Last time you shared it was a few children", he's says with a chuckle. "Now I'm going to be really busy with my uncle duties."

"Well, my dream is fluid and changes. But always for the better. So yes, I .see lots of kids running around and requiring attending to, by us both obviously."

"Of course," Jimin says. "You definitely need help with five little ones running around," he says holding his elbow and placing his chin on his hand.

"We'll do most things together and the nights will be filled with steamy loving. Before we start our family we'll travel some. You know, spend time together.

"So you like him, Jimin? You really like Taehyung?" I inquire nervously waiting to hear his response, as I bite down on my lower lip.

"Yes Kookie, I really like him, and you don't need my opinion. You already know he's special. Go for it. What's your plan?"

"My p-plan?" I ask as my excitement starts to fade.

"Yes, Silly, your plan. To get all that fantasy shit you want".

"Well, I'm going to just let it unfold," I say looking over and nodding at him.

"Good luck with that," Jimin says, as he chuckles.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kookie, you can't let a man like Taehyung get away. And every romance needs a little help and guidance," Jimin says turning up his beer and swallowing the last of it.

"Are you saying that he'll lose interest in me?" I ask rapidly as panic grips me.

"No Kookie, I think you need a plan, so you don't let things get in your way, like your schedule or your celebrity status. Let him know you're interested, flirt a little," he says chuckling and as he playfully tosses a pillow at me.

My expanded smile suddenly stops.

"Oh no Jimin, I suck at flirting," I say contorting my face as if I have a bad taste in my mouth. "You know how nervous I get. Oh God, I'll make a mess," I say biting down on my lip.

Jimin giggles, "Yes, you're bad at flirting. It makes no sense to me that you can be suave and charming on camera with millions viewing you and yet one man can wreck you. Hahahaha!" He laughs as I nervously wring my hands together.

"Oh God, I need help," I say combing my fingers through my hair.

"Of course, I'll help you little brother. If there is one thing I'm good at it's flirting and getting the man I want. Haven't met a man yet that's been a challenge," Jinim says proudly with a gleam in his eyes. "Now, if only, I'd stay interested longer than a few months. Oh well, that's another story."

I squeal and bounce onto my knees tossing my decorative pillow back at him.

"This is wonderful," I say as I continue bouncing. "Where shall we start?" I ask in a fast rush of speech as I pause my bouncing and start quietly clapping my hands, as Jimin giggles.

"Look at you over there beaming. Your excitement is contagious, and I can't wait to help you. Why is that I never feel this level of excitement about a man?"' Jimin says pressing his lips together and slowly shaking his head as if he wants more. "Kookie, you give me hope."

"I do? How so, Jimin?" I say settling down into a sitting position facing him with my legs curled under me.

"Well, I really like your fantasy. I kind of dismissed it because I just didn't have faith that there's someone special for me too," he says as I again hear a hint of sadness. Jimin has always been honest but I've never heard him share his doubt.

"Tell me more Jimin," I say leaning in as I intently search his eyes.

"Kookie, I've been thinking that I want more."

"Like a husband and children?," I eagerly ask as my eyes go wide with shock leaning forward. I've never heard Jimin make a statement like this before

"I wouldn't go that far ," he says with a pained look.., "But, I'll start with a good man that loves me and that I love. Sometimes. ..I feel uh...really lonely," Jimin says clearing his throat and swallowing.

He lowers his head a bit picking up the pillow I tossed at him and examines it during a long, silent pause. I sit still and stay quiet. He sniffles and continues. "My relationships, while fun, have not been very fulfilling. Nor have they been special. There's no closeness or a connection like you talk about." He swallows and clears his throat again.

Showing his vulnerability has never been easy for Jimin. He's always been the brave big brother. So capable and always looking out for me. I've never seen him show his feelings in this way and I hope he continues. It's a tender side of him I like.

"So, let's talk about you flirting," he says quickly moving on as I smile softly.

"Jimin, anytime you want to talk about this I'd like to hear more," I say as he nods and smiles.

"Before I forget, I want to invite you up to my cottage for Christmas."

"What cottage?," Jimin asks with a surprised look. I immediately chuckle. I'm so into this I forgot because it all seems so real. "The country cottage in the snowy mountains," I say with a chuckle. I feel as if it's real when it is not.

"Yes, the Taehyung Christmas Wish you're doing, of course," he says as I nod and grin.

"Sure, I'd love to come."