One Week Earlier:

The expansive ocean coastal view is nothing like I've experienced before. The weather is perfect with clear blue skies. The sun is high and the water sparkles in beautiful hues of green and blue. The air is fresh and crisp and leaves a light taste of salt in my mouth as I breathe in and out.

There is activity everywhere. The water, colorful sailboats and a beach full of sun worshippers set an amazing picturesque view as I cross over a busy stretch of highway at the traffic light.

My tourist guidebook says the viewpoint atop the old stone bridge boasts the best views in the city. As I slowly start my climb up the bridge, I feel energized and exhilarated with a lightness in my chest.

I smile at the splendor of what I'm seeing ahead of me as I feel a sudden mist of water. It is tantalizing to my skin and refreshing on this hot day. When I reach the top of the bridge, I press my back into its 300-year-old stone wall. I run my hands along the various stones of different textures, sizes, and shapes as I marvel at its construction. I think about those who labored long and hard to build this magnificent structure.

The view is breathtaking. Yes, the big city has a lot to offer and my first visit here is awe-inspiring, however I prefer the quietness of my small town. I close my eyes in an attempt to just be present to this amazing experience. It's not easy, with the sound of loud voices, traffic and music drowning out the ocean waves as they crash onto the shore and the low piercing squawk of the seagulls. It is all so beautiful; however, I am craving home. The repetitive annoying sound of cars horn beeping disturbs any serenity I had hoped for.

I open my eyes and immediately freeze as I see a small car zig zagging towards me at high speed. The two wheels on the passenger side of the car jump onto the sidewalk as the vehicle comes barreling down on me.

The driver is a young woman who appears to have lost control of her vehicle. As the car comes towards me I leap out of the way. The vehicle smashes through the old stones wall and plunges into the water 30 feet below. Swiftly, I turn and look over the stone crumbled edge as the car splashes into the water and quickly submerges.

Frantically, I search the water's surface and don't see the young women. Rapidly, I kick off my shoes and pull off my shirt. With little thought, I dive into the chilly water below. As I swim downward I clearly see the woman who is trapped in her vehicle pulling at her seatbelt.

As water fills the car, I'm now able to open the door and release her seat belt. While I pull her to the surface for some reason, she is resisting me. As our heads break the surface, we breathe. She is coughing and gagging. She is struggling to tell me something. She pulls in deep breaths and says, "Baby!"

"Can you swim to shore?"

She nods as I pull in a deep breath and submerge again. The car has gone deeper and is now resting on the bottom.

I look into the passenger window and see a small figure strapped into a child seat. Effortfully, I entered the car. Luckily, there's an air pocket and I'm able to pull two breaths of air into my burning lungs.

I return to the lifeless child and have no idea how to release him. My lungs start to burn and my air pocket is gone. Desperate for air I then see a red button at the base of the seat and press it. The straps release and the small child is free.

I rise as quickly as I can with the child cradled to me. I break the surface and gasp for air taking in greedy gulps of breath. I startle as I hear clapping and cheers from overhead. Quickly I move the child to the shore where the very frightened mom waits with onlookers. I lay the child down and begin lifesaving breathing. I can hear nothing but the pounding of my own heart and the sobs of the child's mother.

I continue my rescue sequence. I know the mom is distraught however, I will continue to work on reviving her child until emergency services arrive. The small child then responds with a succession of coughs and opens his large doe eyes as his mother rushes forward and hugs him. The crowd cheers as I hear sirens approaching in the distance.

"Okay, so the secret to dark chocolate-ginger molasses cookies is how you mix it. Stir together flour, cocoa, crystallized ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and ground ginger into a bowl." The audience carefully watches as Kookie adds in each ingredient.

"Gradually add this mixture to the butter and egg mixture. Beat it on low speed until it's just combined, for only one minute. No more. If you beat it longer you will not get the right texture and taste. No one wants a wimpy cookie. Lastly, fold in the chocolate. And there you have it." I then reveals a precooked tray of his Dark Chocolate-Ginger Molasses Cookie from the oven. The audience claps and cheers.

"You're the best audience ever and everyone is going home with a Kookie Tin of my fresh baked Cookies. I was up all night baking those fresh for you," I say jokingly. "Guess what!? I'm not done yet! Every one of you will be going home with a signed copy of my new Christmas Holiday cookbook! In the Kitchen with Kookie for the Holiday!" I pick up my new cookbook showing it to my audience and the home viewers. The audience claps and cheers loudly.

"As you all know, this is my favorite time of the year. Starting next week, we begin our 30 days to Christmas countdown. We'll kick off the start of our Christmas countdown with holiday tree decorating. It's time to get your home ready for the holidays. We have so much for you this year. As you all know, I always spend Christmas at my cottage in the beautiful, snow capped mountains. I have a surprise for you. You're all coming with me!" The audience roars with applause as I throw my arms up.

"This year we will be shooting our show from my holiday home. And yes, my furry baby, Uno, will be underfoot as I try to get things done. I tell you guys, that dog has a bigger fan club than me. You guys want to see the selfie of me and Uno I took yesterday?" A photo of me and Uno pop on the screen; the audience cheers and laughs. "Isn't he the cutest thing ever? Yes, Uno loves his Country Christmas and will not give me a moment's peace until he gets his turkey bone."

"Thanks everyone for coming and watching. Don't forget to visit my Kooking with Kookie website to get today's recipes and to order your copy of my new holiday cookbook. I love you all and I will see you tomorrow. Until then, Bon Appetit."

In my ear, I hear my producer count me out. "3,2,1 and we're out." I walk out into the audience and spend about 30 minutes greeting fans and taking selfies.

Heading back stage, 7I'm immediately swarmed by my makeup, wardrobe, tech, and script people. This is our typical after the show frenzied routine. I try to walk to my dressing room while the wardrobe staff takes off my jacket, jewelry and other accessories. Make-up then hands me a hot towel to wipe my face, and tech removes my mic and earpiece. One of the assistant producers hands me a script and starts to talk about tomorrow's show. I look at the guest list and narrow my eyes coming to a complete stop. "

"Oh hell no! Where the hell is Namjoon?" I yell. No one says anything so I raise the temple. "Where the fuck is Namjoon?"

"He's in the control room with the marketing director, boss." A voice comes from the rear. Why am I not surprised that he's in the control room with his long-term boyfriend, Jin. I grit my teeth and storm down the hall as fire blazes in my belly..

I walk in and see Jin sitting while Namjoon is standing above him talking.

"Well, Jin, that's not the news we want to hear before starting our Christmas season line up." Namjoon nervously runs his fingers through his hair.

"Well, Joonie the numbers are the numbers," Jin bites his lip looking up at him. I have to admit Jin's very professional and all about business. How Namjoon and him got together, I'll never know. I guess Jin saw some endearing qualities in my best friend, manager and executive producer.

"What's this about the numbers Jin?" I am distracted from my initial mission. Hearing the word numbers in this business is either good or bad news.

"It's nothing for you to worry about. I'll handle it." Namjoon quickly adds.

"Namjoon, cut the bullshit. What's going on? Is there a problem? Kooking with Kookie has been the number one show in its time slot for 3 years. If there's an issue, I want to know." I dart my eyes back between the two of them.

Namjoon dips his chin quickly and signals Jin to proceed.

"Kookie, the show's ratings have fallen a few points. It's still number one, barely. We are losing some of our audience. We need to fix this problem before it gets worse."

Namjoon impatiently shakes his head. "Jin, all of this over a few points. Give me a break. We're going into the best time of the year for our show. Everyone loves Kooking with Kookie! We have cooking, decorating, gardening, crafts, music and an A-Class list of celebrities. Not to mention Kookie, you're South Korea's most eligible bachelor." He turning towards me. "Everyone's hot for your ass even sixty year old grandmothers. No one can put together a holiday meal like you in tight pants."

I roll my eyes at Namjoon and focus on Jin, our numbers guy. "Jin, how do we fix the problem?"

Jin bites down on his lower lip as if he's holding back. "Okay, I'm going to tell you the truth. The problem is not the men and women over thirty it's the younger demographics. I think this show is out of touch with the TikToc and Instagram generation."

"What? But I'm 24. That's my generation. I know about all of that stuff. What the fuck is a Tic Tak?" My brows draw together.

"Kookie, it's TikToc," Jin says rolling his eyes.

Namjoon releases an audible breathe. "So, isn't this why we pay your team, Jin? Isn't this a marketing issue?"

"Yes and no. This show has to embrace some change. A few points can quickly grow and then the network will be talking about that big C word." I gasp covering my mouth with my palm.

"What! Cancellation! So what do we do, Jin?" I ask taking a seat next from him.

"We get you on some of these social media outlets. Being handsome and looking good in tight pants is not enough anymore."

"Good! I hate those damn pants and want to have a burn party for them." I sneer.

A huff of air escaps Jin's nose in a chuckle while Namjoon presses his lip together in a thin line and takes the seat across from us.

Jin leans forward. "We need to have guests that people care about. Everyday people," Celebrities are fine every now and then. But, your audience wants to be connected to real people. Kookie, when you're on that set you come across so authentic. We need more of that." Jin shares convincingly.

"I'd like the show to book this new guy that is trending on social media," A soft smile plays on his lips. "This guy rescued a mom and her baby. It was all caught on video. It was amazing. Jin's eyes gleam.

"When the young mother's car lost control and plunged into the water below this guy dived into frigid waters with dangerous currents. His name is Kim Taehyung a simple farmer from a small town. His popularity has exploded on social media. His rescue video hit over 50 million views worldwide. Not to mention his ass is hot as fuck. He emerges out of the cold water shirtless with rippling muscles. Damn, let me just say that shot of him coming out of the cold water raised my temperature." Jin fans himself and sways.

"Jin!" Namjoon shouts playing the jealous boyfriend as a laugh spings from me.

"Sorry, Baby, just keeping it real. I saw his interview. The guy is hot, young and there's something pure and simple about him. People just love him."

"Yeah he's simple all right." Namjoon hiss. "His dumb ass jumped into freezing dangerous waters." His eye roll and I snicker seeing this side of my friend.

"Joonie, stop it! The man risked his life. He's a hero." Jin's voice is firm and he's back to business.

"I'd like to book him for tomorrow. We go live. Kookie, I think this would be good. What do you think?" I bob my head slowly processing what was said.

Jin's a marketing genius and I respect his opinion. He not only is a wizard at marketing but he also is responsible for my publicity. "Sure Jin, book him."

"I'll send his videos to you." He then pins me with a look. "Kookie, please watch it!" His voice is slightly raised to make his point.

"Of course I'll watch it, Jin." At least I intend to.

Jin's smile grows gleeful. "Ok, we're going to go big with this." I'll get our booker to contact him right away and then we're going to do a twenty-four advertising blitze. I have a good feeling about this, Kookie." Jin claps his hands with a subtle bounce.

"Okay, Jin." If Jin's happy, I'm happy.

"Hey, were you looking for me?" Namjoon asks. I take a few moments to think and then my hands tighten to fist.

"Hell yeah. I saw the script for tomorrow's show. Who the fuck booked Tommie Chen? You know I hate that prick!" Heat radiates from me.

"Kookie, he's a bad boy and he gets ratings. You and him are going to be talking about the perfect gifts for mom and grandma. He's got a new Christmas movie coming out and you need a boost in the rating," Namjoon explains quite nonchalantly.

"Oh, no way, Namjoon!" I wave my arm defensively.

"Look, just because you and he dated and it didn't work out is no reason to not like the guy."

"I never dated his ass! He wishes!" I yell and Jin steps in.

"Joonie, that was all fabricated between Tommie Chen's publicist and our team. It was just for publicity. It's part of your image." Jin turns his bidy towards me. "You attended an awards ceremony together. The next day everyone wants to know when the wedding is," Jin says with a bit of a chuckle. "You know this publicity game. It keeps you relevant, Kookie." Heat courses through my veins.

"That dick knows it was just publicity and then he goes on a radio shity gossip show and starts talking about what I like in bed. He's a fucking tool and has never been alone with me, most of all in my bed!"

"Yes, he did, Kookie. Yes, it was inappropriate. But, you enjoyed some good ratings after that," Namjoon says casually picking up tomorrow's script.

Jin gently touches my arm. "Kookie, it's not a problem because I'm putting Kim Taehyung in that spot," Jin says.

"Who?" Jin shakes his head in that familiar 'what the hell am I going to do with you,' look.

Namjoon's head jerks up. "The shirtless hot as fuck farmer that my boyfriend is drooling over." He crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes.

"Joonie stop it!" He cuts Namjoon a daggered look and refocuses his gaze to me. "Kookie, the guy that got over 50 million views."

"Oh, him! Okay, that will work. Anyone except that asshole prick Tommy Chen," I feel my breath return to my chest and start to rise.

"Hey, what are you doing for dinner? Want to join us?" Namjoon asks.

"Hell no! You think I want be a third wheel and reminded of how pathetic my life is?" I scoff.

Jin brings his palm to his face and shakes his head slowly. "Stop being so dramatic, Kookie. People would kill to have your life." Jin scolds as Namjoon explodes in laughter.

"No, they'd kill to live their perception of my life. The fantasy that lives in their head."

"Dude, it's your fault you're single," Namjoon says with a smirk. "Whatever happened to that K-Drama actor that you thought was so hot a few months ago?"

"I'd rather stay home and count my regrets."

"Well, how about that lead singer of that K-Pop band?"

"He was about as bright as my cell phone, when it has 5% of battery life left. No, he was more like 3%. He was an idiot, but hot."

"Kookie, I've tried with you," Jin fusses. "I'm done setting you up."

"Really, Jin? Good!" I hiss with a snarky tone. "Because I've never asked you to set me up. Please, stop trying. Anyway, I don't want to date an industry person. Someone who has no time. Someone who is always moving, with press and fucking paparazzi around. No way. These guys aren't real. They want to look pretty and maybe have a quick fuck."

"That doesn't sound too bad to me," Namjoon's smile is wicked while waggling his eyebrows. He quickly receives a punch in the arm from his boyfriend.

"Ouch!"

"Okay, so you don't want to date yourself," Jin says.

"Wait, what?" I shake my head confused for a few seconds.

"For once, I'd like to meet someone real. Someone normal. Someone who doesn't have an interest in my fame to help their career. A regular guy. I was a regular guy before all of this."

"Kookie, I'm sorry but successful TV hosts, bestselling authors and heartthrobs don't date regular people. You'd have to give this all up." Jin smirks and scoffs loudly.

"Would that be so bad?" I ask looking at them both. Jin freezes.

Namjoon raises a dismissive hand. "I'm going to forget I heard you say that, my friend. So, you're going to go home to that big beautiful penthouse and pop a frozen pizza in the oven? That's too pathetic."

"No, I'm going to pop my pizza in the microwave, thank you. You know, they've come up with these little cardboard trays you heat your pizza on and the crust comes out crispy in 3 minutes. Isn't that ingenious?"

"Jin, what's a word that means worse than pathetic?" Namjoon roars out a thunderous laugh.

"Joonie, don't tease him. You're not listening. Okay, Kookie, if you change your mind text me. And Kookie, I hope you find someone real. I want you to have the life and love you deserve because I love you."

"Thanks, Jin." I turn and quickly leave the control room. Entering my dressing room/office I choke down the lump in my throat triggered by Jin's show of sincere concern and my deeply hidden loneliness.