rest my chin on my knee and watch the view that laid in front of us. The trees are looming tall in front of us like citadels of wood. Almost as if they are guarding nature. Stars freckled the midnight sky like luminous petals of a silvery white color. I'm in complete awe as my eyes scan the oak-brown paradise. Taking a deep breath, I enjoy the earthy, pulpy smell of the woods.

"Why do you get nightmares?" Luke asks suddenly. "If you don't mind me asking."

"No, it's fine. My sister's Memorial Day is in two days and I always have nightmares a week before it," I simply reply.

"Wait...your twin sister? Anastasia, right? She passed away when she was ten," he guesses.

I nod and frown. "Yeah, how did you know?"

To be honest, I wasn't expecting anybody to remember Ana. Everyone just seemed to forget all about her a year later after she passed away.

"Mom told us," he replies. "And you had an exact copy of you walking next to you until we were in fifth grade, how the hell wouldn't I know?"

"I wasn't expecting that," I mumble.

"Why's that?" He frowns.

"Everybody kinda just forgot Ana after she died," I shrug, my thumb going to her bracelet.

"That's fucked up."

"It's not like I was expecting anyone to remember her," I say in a small voice.

Silence. "What are the nightmares usually about?" Luke speaks up.

"You're pulling a me now?" I ask him, grinning and he shrugs.

"They're just about me drowning; Ana died that way and I guess it has been affecting me ever since," I answer.

"That sucks," he comments.

"A lot," I nod. "But she is in a much better place now and she died saving me. It's really amazing how she was a hero." I smile.

"Is that how you got your claustrophobia?" He asks.

"Yeah, and my panic disorder," I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

There's no point in hiding it now. I trust Luke and that's all the matters.

"My sister saved me from drowning that day and after she died, it just messed up everything for me. I always freak out whenever I'm in small places and I start panicking and breathing heavily. It's kind of part anxiety and part phobia, but I got used to it eventually," I tell him.

I like to think that my anxiety is due to me almost drowning that day when the truth is that a big part of it is because of the fact that Seth made me believe that I was never enough. It's probably the stupidest thing ever to let a guy determine my worth, but I was fifteen and he chose my best friend over me. If that's not ego-chattering enough, then I don't know what is.

Still, admitting that a guy managed to corrupt my confidence in myself is one of the most humiliating things in life and I'm not about to let myself be convinced by that fact. Seth has absolutely nothing to do with who I am today, that's how the story is.

"You know it's not your fault, right?"

I swallow the lump growing in my throat and nod. "I used to believe so, but I managed to convince myself otherwise," I say. "My family thinks that it's my fault, others just thought 'why would we care when she has a twin sister?'." I do air-quotes.

"What the hell?" Luke mutters in disbelief.

"Yeah." I wrap my arms around my legs, hugging them closer to myself.

I hated myself for years because of them. It hurt so much to have your family members blaming you for your twin sister's death and reminding you of how immature you were enough to let your sister drown because you wanted to have fun.

I remember at Ana's funeral when one of my aunts gave me this disappointed look and said: you should have been more mature. My mum pretty much slapped her after that. She slapped her own sister and told her to stay away from us or she won't hesitate to do it again. Every occasion, every event, every get-together, family members would look at me as if I'm...a thing. They would look at me as if I wasn't even supposed to live.

And there were the people who didn't care about Anastasia's death because 'she has an exact copy of her', but those are only a few and they are far relatives, so we didn't care either.

Over the years, I learned to simply not care about what they think. I never asked for opinions and I never asked for them to tell me what do they think about what I did. What happened was an accident and I would never ever mean to let my sister die. She was everything to me and I loved her and even though she is not with me physically, I'll always love her no matter what.

My sister is in a better place and that's what she deserves, she deserves the best and that's what I'll ever and would have wanted for her. Of course, I wouldn't have wanted for her to die, but I still wanted the best for her and I'll always remember her.

"They're a bunch of assholes for blaming you. No offense."

"None taken," I say reassuringly. "But you know, I'm suddenly feeling like I'm losing everyone. I lost Ana, most of my family, Seth, Fiona and I'm losing dad. I feel like the only thing I'll ever do is lose."

"Your dad?" He asks.

"My dad has heart cancer and he doesn't want to take chemotherapy or anything. I don't how long does he have, but I know that he will be gone soon and I can't even do anything about it because he always drowns himself in work and it's like he stopped caring. About everything except his work. About himself, about his family. He just gave up," I tell Luke. I could feel another lump growing in my throat, but I know that I'm not going to cry.

I always bottle up my tears and lock them tight inside until there would come a time I would just break down. I don't know why I do that, but it saves the heartbreak and the pain.

"Cherries, loss is not something uncommon. It's more of a change. You don't know why it happened. There's a huge chance that this loss is a gift for you or a gift for them. I know that it sucks, but you can't really control what happens," he says softly.

"I just wish it wasn't the people who mean a lot to me everytime. I wish I didn't lose the most important people everytime," I admit.

"I know, but maybe this is the best. For either them or you," he strokes my hand with his thumb and I now just realize that we're in fact still holding hands. Oh, my God, my hands are sweaty. Crap.

"Okay...seriously, what the hell? Did I just give you advice that wasn't stupid?" Luke says, frowning playfully as a way to lighten the mood. "Man, I need to stay away from you, Cherries." He blows air out of his mouth in a heavy sigh.

I let out a small laugh. "That was actually very good advice. Thanks, Luke." I lean to the side and bump my shoulder with his slightly.

Silence falls over us again. It's not the awkward kind, more like the comforting kind. The kind that would make you wanna curl up and fall in a deep slumber. I resisted the urge to do so; however the situation isn't really suitable for dozing off. Plus it would be embarrassing if Luke is venting about his life and opening up to me and all I do is fall asleep in return.

"Remember that tattoo that I have? The one you kept staring at?" Luke says.

How did he even know that?

I angle my head towards him, "you mean the ridiculously huge tree one on your back?"

"No, the hobbit one on my ass." He looks at me drily.

I give him a dry look back. "Your sarcasm isn't appreciated."

"I never asked," he states and I roll my eyes.

"What about it, idiot?"

"I got that last year. My dad and I liked to spend most of our times here and I basically became obsessed with nature after that," he explains.

"That's why you got a tree tattoo, right?" He nods in reply.

"How are you even legal anyways? I get that the legal age for getting a tattoo is eighteen, but how do you do drink?" I wonder.

"I got my drinking license in Italy and the legal age for drinking there is sixteen," he grins.

I gasp dramatically. "Wow. The first smart move from Carter. I'm impressed."

"Are you indirectly calling me an idiot?"

"I believe so," I nod my head, grinning.

He scoffs, "the one with a GPA of 2.0 between us is talking."

"That was low," I glare at him.

"But it's true," he smirks.

"You're such a bum hole," I seethe.

"The greatest," he winks and I can't help, but burst out laughing.

"How did you get your tattoo?" He gestures to my exposed arm with his head.

"Well actually, I have four," I say and Luke's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "My cousin, Avianna, drew them for me. She's a really good artist and she owns a tattoo parlour."

"Avianna as in the same girl who called me hot at your Christmas thing?"

"That's her," I reply.

"She drew your tattoos?"

"Yup, the flower one, the quote, the butterfly and the sun," I list on my fingers.

"You have a garden on your body?" Luke asks.

"I love bright things," I try defending myself.

"That's too bright, Cherries. You might blind someone," he jokes.

"Bright things make people happy, so shush," I cross my arms.

"Yeah, because the world is Barney and Friends and the Teletubbies show," he says sarcastically.

"I seriously need to teach you how to be optimistic," I decide.

"You can teach me other things too," he says in a suggestive tone with a devious glint in his eyes and his lips pulling in a small smirk.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Lucas Ace Carter, are you flirting with me?"

"I definitely am," he responds with a nod. "Is it working?"

"Hmm, magic ball says 'don't count on it'," I joke with a small smile.

"Damn," he sighs, making me laugh.

Suddenly, I remember something and I turn to him again. "Remember that day when I moved here and talked to you?" I remind him.

"Oh yeah, that was in fourth grade. I thought you were weird back then," he admits.

"Because I was over-enthusiastic?"

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Beside the looks, you didn't change that much."

"The looks?" I ask in confusion.

"Yeah, you were pretty back then. What happened?" He smirks and I narrow my eyes at him.

"I really dislike you," I tell him.

"I'm just kidding, Cherries. You became, well," he pauses and cocks his head to the side as his eyes run over me, scanning me from head to toe and I feel my cheeks burning up. "Prettier."

"Was the whole 'be a bar code scanner' thing necessary?" I say, doing air quotes.

"You want me to do it properly?" He raises his eyebrows slightly.

"I'm good," I rush out and he gives me a lopsided grin, then he stands up.

I knit my eyebrows in confusion. "Where are you going?"

"We should head home. It's already-" he pauses to get his phone out.

"Nine thirty," I answer for him, just as he slips phone out and checks the time, then he looks up and raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he replies slowly. "How did you know?"

"Internal clock," I simply respond.

"That's witchcraft, Cherries," he corrects.

"Internal clock," I insist.

"Okay then," he eyes me as if he's scared I'm going to get my secret wand out and pull a Hermione Granger on him.

"Help me up," I hold up both of my arms for him, then he grasps my hands and pulls me up.

I dust my back end as Luke speaks up. "Come on, let's go."

| | | |

So...mum is mad.

I totally forgot to inform her about going to hang out with Luke. I must have accidentally muted my phone–I only do so, because the girls talk on our group chat and they never stop–and apparently she had called me thirty times. One missed call from mum usually means 'you're dead', but thirty missed calls means 'I'm going to murder you, bury you six feet under and manage to get you in hell'. The good news is that mum doesn't have to tire herself and try to get me in hell; I'm already going there.

"Anong problema mo?! Maaari kang maging labimpito ngunit hindi ito nangangahulugan na nakakalayo ka sa sinumang gusto mo, kahit kailan mo gusto! If this was Mordor, you would have bolted out of there or sat in a corner and wept! But no! You just go without telling me anything! Like it's okay to not inform your mother about where you're going!" She screams at me, while I just sit here and stare at her with my lips pressed together.

"What if someone kidnapped you?!" She shouts.

"I was with Luke. The least he would do is run away and tell the police department," I tell her.

She ignores me, of course. "What if some man from Disneyland kidnapped you and used you as a princess?!"

My mother. The queen of the wildest of imaginations. She could write a plot of a movie or a book with it.

"That's never going to happen, but that would be really great," I pitch in.

"What if someone else kidnapped you and used you as a puppet?!"

Once again. Queen of the wildest of imaginations.

"A puppet? Mum, this is the twenty first century."

"I can't believe you didn't call me," she rubs her temple.

"For the last time, I was with Luke. I wasn't even with a stranger and we literally went to the diner, Tina's diner. It's not something new," I explain for the third time, leaving out the tree house part.

The last thing I would want is bringing up a tree house in the woods and she would start ranting about how I could have been eaten by a lion or accidentally get involved in the hunger games. She's really convinced that movies are always based on true stories.

"You still could have been in danger," she crosses her arms.

"Well, I'm fine and I'm here," I say.

She sighs and I get up to hug her, then she hugs me back. "I'm sorry, mum. Forgive me?" I pull away to look at her.

"I could never stay mad at you, Annalyn," she smiles at me, her smile reaching her narrow amber eyes.

Sometimes I feel really jealous that my mum has such beautiful light brown eyes, while I inherited only her eyes' narrow, hooded shape and the dark brown color from dad. Brown eyes could be stunning, but not if they're really really dark like mines. Liam is lucky enough to have inherited mum's light brown eyes because of the whole genetics thing.

"Am I grounded?" I smile nervously at her.

"No," she shakes her head. "But I swear to God, Annalyn, if you don't call me next time, I'll ground you until you get dentures," she threatens.

"Okay, no need to turn 'Mean Mama' mode on me," I hold my hands up.

"What were you doing with Luke anyway?" Mum asks in confusion.

"We hung out for a bit and he told me a few things," I turn my head away, avoiding eye contact with mum.

"He told you about his father, right?" She says in a sad voice and I whip my head towards her, staring at her with shock.

She knew?!

"You know about him?"

"I do," she nods. "I know about everything that happened with Luke."

"Wow," I comment in shock.

"He's a really good guy, Anna. He might have gotten into lots of trouble, but he really is the best of guys," she says.

"I know that, mum," I reply softly.

"And Emily and I might have a strong disliking towards each other, but that shouldn't stop you from anything," she looks in my eyes deeply as if she wanted to hint at something; all I did is smile and nod in response though.

"I'm going to head to bed," she announces and walks to the stairs. "Don't stay up too late," she adds as she trudges up the stairs.

"I won't," I assure her. "Goodnight, mum."

"Goodnight, darling."

"That shouldn't stop you from anything."

It doesn't and it won't.

| | | |

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