I'm glad that Kai is acting normal when I wait for him at his gate.

He launches into a story about a new supernatural show he found last night. I, like I have been ever since I met him, begin to think about Haze. I can't help questioning why he didn't bother to contact me after he said he would.

He probably doesn't even like you.

He started the kiss, though. I helped lead to that point, but he initiated it.

I let out a huff as I scuff my leather shoes on the pavement, feeling sour all over again.

"What's got your frown upside down?" Kai asks me, finally stopping his story. "I thought you were happy, because of the whole making-out-with-the-crazy-looking-dude at the party on Saturday?"

I glare at him. "Hush."

"Is that not what happened?"

"Leave it alone," I whine, feeling annoyed.

"Ellie." He stops and touches my shoulder. "What's wrong? I won't judge, I promise."

"You will, you just won't voice your judgement," I point out.

"True, but go on. Tell me."

"Well, we hung out after the party. We talked, got to know each other a little better... it was nice. He told me he would talk to me on Sunday but he didn't and now I'm overthinking everything and being an obsessive loser. I texted him, after waiting all day and he never replied. Now, I'm sulking."

"There might be a reason why he couldn't. Could have been busy, broke his phone..." he offers.

I give him a sad smile. "Thanks for trying."

"Seriously. Remember that time you thought I was mad at you but I had just dropped my phone in the toilet?"

I let out a laugh. "Yeah, I do."

"See?" he nudges me with his elbow, giving me a smile.

I nod, mulling over his words.

We get to Heidi's fence and as expected, she's not there. I text her again, tightening my coat around me, pressing my gloved hands to my cheeks. The mornings are so cold here. The sun's heat doesn't hit us until about lunchtime, and then it goes back to being cold again, late afternoon.

A minute or two later, she comes flying down the driveway, her ginger hair splayed across her forehead.

"Argh!" she cries out, flinging her bag to me and her jacket to Kai.

Kai and I wordlessly exchange a look and shake our heads.

She finally sorts out her appearance, once-again, doing up her hair out here, before shrugging into her coat. She ties her laces up and I help her put her bag on.

"Please tell me you have coffee for me," she pleads.

Kai rolls his eyes and pulls out the third tin of coffee his mum brewed for us, from the side of his bag.

"Life saver." She grins, licking her lips in anticipation.

They begin to chat and thankfully, Haze isn't mentioned for the rest of the trip. I purposely try to think of other things as we get to school.

Immediately, I search for him, even though I told myself not to.

He's walking through the entryway, his hair tied in his signature low bun, a dark, navy coat wrapped securely around his tall body. I wince, hating that I think he looks so attractive, even bundled up in all those layers.

"I'm going to go get my stuff," I mutter and break away from them, while Kai is in mid-sentence.

I shuffle inside and breathe a breath of relief when the heater blasts me. By the time I get to my locker, I'm feeling hot. I tug it off and jam it angrily inside, when I'd usually neatly fold it.

I bury my head inside my locker and take a few seconds to collect myself. I'm going to act like it really doesn't bother me that he didn't reply. I am going to be cool.

However, when I shut my door, I see him. And I totally don't act cool.

He's walking in the direction of me. His jaw is clenched as he notices me staring. His hair is messy, like usual, because of the wind. His lips look a soft pink underneath the lights, I hate that my mind reels back to when they were pressed against my own.

He goes to walk past me, without making eye contact.

"You're not even going to say good morning?" I practically shout at him, planting my hands on my hips.

He sighs. "Morning."

"Wasn't so hard, was it?" I snap, my tone sounding feistier than I intended.

"Don't be pissed. It's for the best."

"What is?"

"Me not texting you, or whatever." He shrugs, looking down, his jaw ticking furiously. "I know you're mad."

"Well, it would have been nice to hear back from you."

"I broke my charger," he says suddenly, his voice bored. "Phone's dead."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Sorry I jumped down your throat." I apologise, feeling like an idiot.

"Look, Ellie," he begins slowly, making me nervous. He scratches the back of his neck. "I don't want anything serious right now."

I blink for a few times, his words slowly sinking into my brain.

He finally meets my eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay," I reply in a small voice.

For a second, it looks like he wants to say something else, or even reach out to touch me, but his face hardens.

"Sorry." He mutters, before brushing around me.

I roll my lips together as I stare up at the ceiling, trying not to feel like a heavy weight has just been dropped onto my chest.

***

When I walk into class, later than usual, I internally groan when I see Heidi and Kai sitting together. The worst part, is that everyone is staring at me. I immediately regret how I acted on Saturday, wishing the ground beneath me would swallow me up.

I grimace, not wanting to seem like a loser and sit by myself.

I purposely find myself making a beeline for a desk, that I would never have gone to, before Haze.

"Morning, lovely Ellie-Cat," Fletcher, my kind-of-ex-boyfriend purrs, giving me a smile. "Are you joining me today?"

"Yes," I clip, taking a heavy seat beside him.

I know Heidi and Kai are curious – wondering why the hell I'm sitting next to someone who tries to control me all the time, but I brush off their gazes.

"Ellie-Cat," he says to me, leaning his arm onto the table as he stares at me. "I've been hearing some awful rumours about you."

"Really?" I ask him like I am interested in what he is saying.

"Yeah. You and the new guy. What's up with that?" he questions and I hear a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Nothing is going on," I reply sweetly.

"I'd love to believe you, but the fact that you're sitting next to me, for the first time in months, the Monday after your supposed hook-up with the school's new bad boy, I suspect the rumours are true." He conclusively states. "Now, I repeat, what's up with you and the new guy?"

"None of your business, Fletcher."

"Oh, calling me by my last name," he counters, rubbing his chin. "That's unusual."

"Don't make me regret sitting here, please."

He leans back on his chair, smiling. "Of course not."

Mrs Hatcher finally begins the lesson and I sink down into my chair. I glance over to Haze, half-hoping he would be watching me, but he remains in his usual position – gazing out the window, not paying attention. This makes me even more annoyed.

The rest of the day creeps by and I make no effort to talk to Haze. My own thoughts are eating me alive, but I refuse to show how desperate I am.

I keep reminding myself – we only kissed. It's nothing serious. People do that all the time.

When the final bell rings, I'm on my way to pick up Callum when I notice Jake, Haze's not-so-nice, younger brother, shoving Callum roughly. I peer around, trying to get one of the teachers to notice, when I realise there aren't any around.

Some sort of rage that I've never experienced before, burns through me.

I stalk towards Jake and instead of verbally telling him to stop, like last time, I yank on his backpack as hard as I can. He stumbles back and falls to the ground, throwing his arms out to save himself crashing onto the concrete.

"How dare you mess with my brother!" I roar into his face, feeling all my sadness and anger pouring out of me as I stand over him. "You're a coward and a piece of scum. You touch my brother again I will kick your scrawny, little ass!"

I am fuming at this point and it's not until I finish yelling, that I realise what I've just said.

Still glaring down at him, I step back, my chest rising faster than usual.

Jake peers up at me, looking frightened. I swipe at Callum's hand and angrily force him to follow me.

"Woah..." I hear him say in awe. "Sis, that was cool."

"I'm sorry about yelling like that," I mutter, my face burning red. "Please don't tell Ma and Pa."

He lets out a chuckle. "I won't."

"Ellie."

I want to keep walking, but my feet freeze beneath me at the sound of his voice. I keep my back to him and tighten my hold of Callum.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I am not okay," I snap, whirling around, my eyes landing on his handsome face. "I am sick of your little brother picking on mine. Tell him to pull his head in, or he'll get what's coming to him."

Haze gazes back at me, a dark eyebrow arched in amusement. "Is that so?"

"Yes." I bite back, my face twisting with anger.

"This has nothing to do with what I said to you today?" he asks. "Because I hurt your feelings?"

"You did hurt my feelings," I agree and I see him composure falter momentarily. "But that doesn't change the fact that your brother is a bully and needs to be taught a lesson."

Haze stares at me, his face expressionless. I whip around and take Callum with me, shaking with anger.

"What is going on with you?" Callum asks me in confusion, stumbling to keep up with my strides.

"Don't get a crush on someone, that's all I'm saying."

"You have a crush on that scary guy?" he questions with wide eyes.

"Did. Past tense." I lie through my teeth.

I continue my fast pace until we get to our street. When I feel safe that they are not around, I loosen my hold on Callum and slow down, feeling drained.

"Sorry."

"El," he says, patting my shoulder. "You should go have a bath. That makes me feel better when I'm unhappy."

I let out a laugh, shaking my head. "Thanks for the advice, Cal. I'll take that into consideration."

Once I'm home and out of my school uniform, I keep myself busy with tasks around the house. I help Pa do our chores outside and don't return indoors until it's dark. Once inside, I help Ma with dinner, set the table and drag out eating, just to give myself a reason not go upstairs and be alone with my thoughts.

I keep trying to steer the dinner conversation to a topic I enjoy, but fail as Ma and Pa keep talking about the news and other subjects that I am not all that interested in. Eventually, I retire up to my room, where I pick up one of my novels I've been meaning to read and run myself a bath, like Cal told me to.

As I sit in the warm bubble bath, candles flickering around me, reading my book in the almost-too-dim lighting, I go cross on myself for picking a romance novel. I should have gone with horror because now I'm thinking of that fact that I really like Haze and he doesn't like me back.

***

Two weeks drag by and I have exchanged about three words with Haze and I think they were purely revolved around the question, "Can you move?" when he blocked my path to my desk with his overly long legs.

It has been awful. I am horrified at how much I like this boy. I am always looking for him, thinking about him and worst of all: reminiscing that night we shared together. It would have to be one of the best nights of my life, hands down. I hate that it is. I wish the night had gone terrible. It wouldn't hurt so bad now, if it had.

When I'm sitting by myself at lunch, reading, I am surprised that he approaches me, after all this time.

"Ellie."

I still love the way he says my name. It's husky and deep, with an edge to it.

"Yes?" I ask him calmly, not looking up from my book, even though I am no longer reading.

"Can you look at me?"

"I'm busy, sorry," I say flatly, attempting his approach at things.

He takes a seat opposite to me and I make the mistake of peering at him over the page. I internally scream. He's wearing a beanie, his messy bits of hair tucked beneath it. He has a jacket on over the school polo and a black, tee underneath the polo, as it is rather cold today.

"Ellie," he repeats and I practically throw my book down to look at him again.

"What do you want?"

"I'm sorry."

I blink at him. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I lied to you. I don't want things to not go on, with us. If there even is an 'us'," he groans, rubbing his hand roughly over his face. "Do you know what I mean?"

"No." I reply, unable to help myself.

He sighs. "We had a really good time together and it freaked me out, because I don't want to get attached to anyone. I want to finish school and get out of here."

"And...?"

He looks impatient. "Look, I'm here to admit it's too late. I'm already attached. Can we just go back to you being annoying, like we were when you first showed me around?"

"Insulting me isn't exactly the best way to convince me." I say, placing my chin in my hand.

"Ellie!" he groans. "For fuck sake, can we go back to how we were or not?"

A smile stretches across my face, unable to play along any longer.

"Thank God. I have not been able to stop thinking about you or the night of the party."

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've accepted it. I am seriously crushing on Haze. There's nothing I can do to stop it and somehow, he makes me obsessively tell the truth around him.

"Me either," he whispers, as if saying it too loudly would make it seem too real.

"Friends?" I ask him, placing my hand out on the table.

He stares down at it, before enveloping my small hand into his big one.

"Friends."

I smile so wide that my cheeks begin to ache. "How have you been?"

"Shitty and miserable. You?"

"Pretty much the same. Can we hang out tonight?"

"Yes. What do you want to do?" he asks and I love that he is getting more comfortable with showing his feelings.

"Do you have a car?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Pick me up. Let's go driving." I suggest excitedly.

"Where do you want to drive to?"

"Surprise me," I smile as the bell rings overhead.

"I'll text you," he promises as we stand.

"Will you really? You said that last time..." I trail off.

"I will."

"Okay," I grin. "I'll see you later."

I practically run to History, unable to act like a normal person.

"You got a new dog?" Kai guesses, taking in my bounciness and my wide smile. "You bought a new book? Found a new TV series that's good? Come on, what is it?"

"No, that's not it," Heidi says slowly, her eyes glued to mine. "Haze. You spoke to Haze, didn't you?"

"Yes!" I squeal and ignore the number of people who curiously look over to me.

"Oh. Great." Kai mutters with a frown. "I thought we were past this."

"No way," Heidi and I chorus at the same time.

"She is head over heels for him. It's obvious," she concludes in a duh tone.

"Clearly." Kai says sassily, before walking into the classroom.

"I'm happy for you," she smiles, squeezing my shoulder, before following him inside.

Me too, Heidi. Me too.

------------------

Thoughts? :-)

I went to my local bookshop today and requested to buy a few Wattpad books that have been published and the girl at the store was like; "You read on Wattpad? Omg, what's your username?" And I gave it to her (I was so excited because I literally have never met another Wattpad reader IRL -- and was way too embarrassed to admit I write on here often and am a Wattpad Star) and then when I got to my car, I realised I gave her the wrong username and had to ring the store and correct it! How could I give her the wrong username??? (I am a special kind of person, clearly).