"Well, well, if it isn't Mr. Comedian," said Papa Smurf when he saw Lili and Adam get out of the elevator. Now that the kid was standing on top of the roof of a refrigerator truck, wearing a red cap and his mid-school uniform, none would have argued that his nickname suited him perfectly. "Tell me, do you still have enough fingers to jerk off?"

"Does he call you Mr. Comedian too?" Lili asked in a low voice. "Why?"

"No idea," Adam shrugged. He was more concerned with the unnatural, eternal darkness that seemed to consume that underground parking lot.

"Papa Smurf!" Lili waved at him. "How are you?"

"Not as good as you, baby. Bit busy, though." Papa Smurf pointed at a kid carrying a flour bag on his shoulder; his voice went from lewd to sharp, like a whip. "Hey! Today mother fucker!"

Adam couldn't believe his eyes: besides the kid that had picked up the pace, at least a dozen teenagers, some that he already knew from Magdala's gym, where unloading food supplies (flour, grains, canned goods) to place them in the private lock-up stores at the back of the parking lot.

The beaten-up truck where they were unloading the food from didn't even have a license plate. Adam would not ask where it all came from, but he was sure that they had either stolen it or 'bought' it at the regulated prices established by the government, which were so low that he thought of it as stealing it, anyway.

Oh, come on! Adam noticed that the canned goods they were unloading were the same kind he was buying every week. Papa Smurf is controlling the Bachaqueros in this place. I'm buying my food from him!

After jumping off the truck, Papa Smurf pointed at Adam, "What's this sad faggot doing here?"

"Do you know each other?" asked Lili. "Small world."

"He doesn't know me," Papa Smurf was now right in front of Adam, their chests almost touching. It didn't matter that Adam was a handspan taller than him; the boy looked more imposing, perhaps because his blue shirt was short enough to make something clear: he was armed. "If this faggot knew who I was, he would have minded his own business last night. It's common sense."

"Common sense is the least common of all senses," Adam held his ground, not giving an inch.

"Fag thinks he's funny," said Papa Smurf to Lili without taking his eyes off Adam.

"Like a Radio Rochela cast member."

Papa Smurf took a step back, looking puzzled.

"What the hell is a Radio Rochela?

Lili waved her hand dismissively.

"Never mind. We are old. You don't know that show."

"Well, if Mr. Comedian here wants to keep getting older, he is going to leave in..." Papa Smurf looked at his wrist as if he was wearing a watch. "Ten... nine... eight..."

"I can get you tickets to Los Leones games," Lili hurried up to say.

Papa Smurf stopped the countdown, considering the offer.

"Nah... Seven... six..."

"Tickets to every game."

"Every game?" Papa Smurf asked.

"VIP access too."

The boy scrunched his nose and shook his head.

"Five... four..."

Lili came closer to Papa Smurf and leaned forward to meet his eyes while also making her cleavage even more difficult to ignore.

"Papa, the favor is for me."

The kid eyed her from head to toe.

"Babe, there's not a blowjob in the w—"

"Hey! Watch it, you little cunt."

The thump of a body hitting the ground was followed by the dry pattering of grains spilling from a sack. One of Papa Smurf's helpers had fallen to exhaustion. The boy, who couldn't have been more than eleven years old, tried to stand up and, avoiding eye contact with everyone there, hurried to clean up the mess; fighting his tears back and keeping his hands from shaking seemed too much for him. He was too tired to get back on his feet.

"Bravo!" Papa Smurf clapped his hands before he walked to the boy and kicked him in the ribs twice.

Adam clenched his face as he heard the boy cry out in pain. Without thinking, he moved to prevent Papa Smurf from landing a third kick.

Lili grabbed him by the arm, "What do you think you are doing?"

"He's going to kill him."

"Stupid much? If he wanted him dead, there would be one bullet less in his gun."

"Me? Stupid? You were the one who called the little dictator with a handgun a cunt!"

"Yes, stupid. I don't let nobody disrespect me," said Lili. "Besides, see the twins?" She pointed at her plunging neckline. "If the president had a pair like this, there would be no national crisis. So zip it and let me handle this."

He stared at her with disbelief on his face.

"Zip it?"

"Yes, like a body bag," she said through her teeth. "You have any idea what he can do? Why didn't you tell me you were on Papa's blacklist?" Lili let out a mild scoff. "Common sense, my ass."

"How was I supposed to know we'd be meeting Damien from the Omen?"

Lili moved her hand in front of her mouth as if she was zipping it shut.

"Why are you still here?" Papa Smurf shouted at Lili and Adam.

"To help you," she replied.

"Does it look like I need your help?"

"Well, yeah." Lili pointed at the two kids dragging the boy with the broken ribs to the elevator. "You need an extra pair of hands."

"Lili, what are you doing?" Adam muttered.

"Keeping my promise," she whispered before turning to Papa Smurf. "Want Adam to help you unload the rest of your supplies?"

"What!?" Adam couldn't believe it.

Papa Smurf poked his nose for a moment, considering his options. After a bit, he threw a bugger at Adam's feet.

"What do you want?"

"A computer?"

"Do I look like I work at the mall?"

"His computer," said Lili. "Someone stole it last night."

"Ah!" Papa Smurf nodded. "You live on the eighth floor."

Bastard, Adam thought. He knows about my PC. Wait. Maybe he stole it himself. Him, or one of these kids.

Papa Smurf produced a cigarette and brought it up to his mouth. Immediately, one of his helpers had a lighter in front of him. The tiny flame distorted the shadows on his face, darkening his eyes, making him look like a skull.

Adam shivered.

"It'd be easier to buy a new PC. I can get you a stolen one for a good price."

"It has to be that one," Lili said to Adam's surprise. She didn't know how important the file in there was, and yet her intuition was spot on.

"Let me guess..." Papa Smurf snapped his fingers. "You want your porno back."

"That's what PC stands for, right?" said Adam. "Porno collection."

"Boys, the circus is in town." Papa Smurf clapped again and smoked more of his cigarette. "Why is that PC so important?

"Work," Lili said.

"What? Cat got your tongue?"

"Yes," Lili smiled. "Meow."

"Sexy." Papa Smurf threw the butt of the cigarette to the floor and stepped on it. "What are you waiting for, Mr. Comedian? Start unloading my stuff."

Adam hesitated and took a deep breath. He'd do anything for his brother and sister, including this. When he moved to pick up the first bag, Lili put her hand on his chest to stop him.

"Wait," she looked at Papa Smurf. "So? Do you promise me you'll get Adam's PC back?"

Papa Smurf smiled, his pointy yellow teeth poking through his lips.