Chapter Eighteen

It was late when Inanis returned home from wherever it was he went.

I had been forced to eat dinner with the Lancasters by myself which was incredibly awkward for both them, and myself.

I'm not very good at keeping conversations interesting.

Though, I didn't mind Inanis being gone, entertaining the Lancasters was way easier than the thought of being alone with him all night.

My bones were heavy with dread.

"Inanis!" Mrs. Lancaster greeted, as she and her husband were halfway up the stairs towards the guest bedroom when he walked in the front door. "Lovely you finally decided to return to your home after hours of actively avoiding us."

Inanis shot them both a lazy smile, "Yes, well, I wouldn't call your forced visit here as 'lovely'."

"You really have a professional way with words."

"I can't quite say the same about you."

"You know what?" Mrs. Lancaster frowned, "I'd desperately love to see you choke on your arrogance." She leaned forward, "Trust me, child, it's going to happen eventually."

Inanis placed his hand on his heart as if offended, "My fate holds no such thing. You should be ashamed of yourself, spouting out lies in my own home."

"Is it so much a lie when you lie every second of your narcissistic life?"

"I'd be careful, Vivienne." Inanis said in a sing-song tone, "It'd be a shame if you were voted in as my next quarry."

Her eyes narrowed, "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

The mirth ignited in his eyes, "I'd be heartbroken."

They really, really hated each other.

Watching them was actually kind of intimidating.

The heavy tension in the room was suffocating. I stared at both Mrs. Lancaster and Inanis like I was observing two feral cats about to pounce.

Finally, Mr. Lancaster shot me a look, and we both silently agreed that maybe we should intervene between our spouses before things started to get bloody.

With Inanis as an opponent, things would most certainly get bloody.

I patted Inanis on the arm to get his attention, as Mr. Lancaster spoke up, "Honey, maybe we should get to our room now, before the tension between you two burns a whole in the exquisite flooring."

"I agree." I speak up, Inanis turning his head to me as if just realizing I was in the room, "Maybe you two should stay away from each other tonight."

"Gladly." Mrs. Lancaster murmured, as she spun on her four-inch heels, and walked up the stairs with her husband.

When it was just me and Inanis in the entryway, he finally spoke up, "I wonder what it'd feel like to strangle her in her sleep."

"Well, I'd stop wondering, since you'll never be able to do it anyway."

His eyes turned to mine, and a small smile displayed on his lips, "Never is an awful word."

"In this case, it's really the hero."

"I never was a superhero fan."

"Shocking."

I wasn't sure how, but I wanted to delay the inevitable. I turned into the living room, where the housemaids had a fire going in the fireplace. I sat on the couch where Leech was curled up asleep and sighed.

Seconds later, Inanis came in, and dropped onto the opposite end of the couch I was sitting on. He leaned back, putting his legs casually up on the glass coffee table.

"You're avoiding me." He said more as a fact than a statement.

"I'm always avoiding you, Inanis." I tell him, though my nerves were clear in my tone, and hated myself. I hate how he makes me feel this way.

I hate that I am a coward.

"Interesting." He seemed genuinely intrigued. He leaned forward towards me, and I scooted as far back as I could. He spit out a laugh, "I can only imagine what your simple brain has been conjuring up since I left." He faked concern in his tone, "I bet you've been worried about sharing a bed with me all day, haven't you?"

I gritted my teeth, "Of course not. I'm not a child, I can share a bed with a man."

He rose his eyebrows, feigning shock, "Of course, I never said you couldn't."

"Well, I know I can, because I have many times." It was an obvious lie, but I stood by it the moment it dripped from my lips.

Inanis stared at me for a long, silent moment, before a smile slowly crept on his face, "That is the funniest thing that has ever come out of your crooked mouth."

I turned to him, "You don't think I've ever been with a man before?"

"Of course not, you practically have the word 'virgin' painted on your forehead. I bet I was your first kiss too." He leaned forward, and this time, I forced myself not to inch back. "It was an awful kiss, in case you wanted to know."

I frowned, humiliation and anger bubbling up in me, "Fine." I said, grabbing Leech in my arms, and standing, "I'll prove it to you that I don't give a shit where I sleep. If you're going to make such a big deal about us sharing a bed then so be it, let's share a fucking bed."

He stood before I could even blink, and clapped his hands once together, "That's the spirit. I do love a brave woman."

"Go to hell."

"That must be your favorite insult, isn't it?"

"When it comes to you, any insult works."

"They are getting rather boring."

"Well, like you said, our marriage is no circus."

He heaved a dramatic sigh as we both walked up the stairs to his -our- bedroom. The moment we walked into the bedroom, dread filled my body, and I realized pretending to be brave may not be worth it.

I certainly can't back down now, I had to prove a point that I wasn't scared of him.

Even if I was, slightly, terrified.

I watched as he shrugged his coat off, revealing a simple long-sleeve black shirt, and black pants. I don't believe I have ever seen Inanis without a coat, or some kind of suit, and for some reason, shedding the coat was as if he shed years off his body.

For the first time, he didn't look like the great Bone Cutter, he just looked like a twenty-three-year-old asshole.

"You're staring." He said, without even looking up at me.

Damn it. "It's hard not to when the vilest man on earth is in my bedroom."

"Our bedroom."

I huffed, "Why are you so adamant on making it known that this is my bedroom too?"

He finally looked up at me, confusion masking his face, "Because it is your bedroom too."

"But why does it matter to you so much?"

"Why doesn't it matter to you?"

"Don't answer my question with a question."

"Then don't ask me stupid questions."

I shot him a look, and he shot me one back. I wasn't sure if it was my nerves, or my suffocating hatred for him that was making him ten times more insufferable tonight.

I climbed into the large bed that, once Inanis got into, didn't seem so large.

I wished the king-sized bed would be bigger.

Leech made himself a bed over on the stack of papers on the floor, and I wished I could go pick him up and put him between Inanis and I. But I didn't want Inanis getting angry at him in the middle of the night and throwing him across the room.

"It's awfully cold tonight, don't you agree?" He asked rolling over to my side until I was on the very edge just to get away from him.

"It's almost June." I tell him, stifling my impatience.

"June is the synonym for January."

"That makes no fucking sense."

"Neither does your sleepwear. Do you always dress like a grandmother to bed?"

"Get away from me or I will kick you so hard you'll wish you had your children already."

He gasped, "The thought of having children right now sounds exhilarating, would you be up for the task of creating said children?"

"I'm going to throw up."

"Well that's not very attractive."

I bit my lip so hard I was sure I tasted blood, "If you don't move back to your own side of the bed-"

"Our bed."

I was going mad. "Inanis!" I shouted, suddenly sitting up, and using both my hands to push him over. Of course, he was quicker as he grabbed both my arms and pulled me on top of him. I tried to push myself off, but he was clear he didn't want me to go anywhere.

"Is this how sex works?" He asked, our faces inches apart.

My heart was pounding, my voice coming out in barely a whisper, "I'm going to kill you."

"That doesn't sound like much fun for me."

His body was so damn warm. I couldn't stop thinking about how much of my own body was touching his.

Not only was I in the Bone Cutter's bed, I was laying on top of him in it.

If somebody told me I would be in this position a month ago, I would have laughed at them and told them to check in to a mental ward.

I stared at him, and he stared right back, unflinching. Finally, I spoke, "Why is everything a game to you Inanis?"

He blinked, his expression unreadable, "You of all people should know the answer to that." Our lips were barely an inch apart. I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Tell me."

He was silent for a long moment before speaking up, "You once told me I was a child."

"I did."

A pause. "I think you were right."

The humor that was in his tone only moments ago was gone, and so, I realized, was my anger. For a quick second, I thought he was going to kiss me, instead, he pushed me off him, and returned to his side of the bed.

I sat up, confused for a moment on his sudden retreat.

Yes, I was grateful for his unwillingness to do anything more than irritate me, but a small traitorous part of me was curious enough to move forward with this conversation.

And so, I pushed further with a confession. "I know about your pills, and I know about your ADHD."

I swear I could feel that the quiet room had escalated to a dead, heavy silence.

He laid there, his back facing me, and I've never seen him so still in my life. After what felt like hours, he finally replied, "And what are you going to do about it?"

I stared at his back, "What do you think I'm going to do about it?"

He sat up and faced me, "Humiliate me? Use it to your benefit? Surely you would, right? Inanis is an idiot, a stupid child, surely he's easy to play, isn't he?"

I once thought that, yes. But the way he said it horrified me. I do not want to become that. I do not want to drop to his level of immorality.

I looked at him in disgust, "Is that what you think? That I'm going to use your disorder to belittle you?"

"Why wouldn't you? You're only here because you were forced to be. You must do whatever you can do to gain control."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a fucking monster."

His jaw clenched, "I'm done with this conversation." He turned away from me, but I grabbed his arm.

"Well I'm not done with this conversation."

"Well I don't give a shit what you-" He was cut off by me pulling him forward. I hadn't realized I had pulled so hard until he was up against me.

My anger was uncontainable when around him, even I didn't know my strength.

He stiffened, as once again our faces were inches apart. He hadn't expected it. Neither had I.

This time, he didn't push me away, and for some ridiculous reason that I couldn't fathom, I didn't push him away either.

I wanted to relish in the feeling of catching him off guard, but in all honesty, I was just as shocked by my actions as he was. He was disgusting, his body touching mine, it made me cringe. It made my lungs burn. It made my head dizzy.

Though, it did feel strange to have his attention wholly on me. I only managed to have it once before, and that was when I nearly fainted at the White House.

Our eyes were locked in a glare. I challenged him, and he gladly challenged me right back. I felt his hands gently grip my shoulders, as he pushed my back down onto the bed.

This time, he was on top of me. This time, I didn't feel as angry as I did before. This time, I think my heart stopped and I wanted to punch my chest over and over and over to get it to stop acting so damn thoughtless.

I had spent the entire day scared of what he was going to do to me. I never realized my own motives were part of that equation.

"Do you think this is another game of mine?" He finally asked, his eyes still unwavering from my own.

I wasn't going to back down and look like the weak one. I was not the weak one. He can rot in his own forfeiture. "Yes." I said, refusing to show any form of emotion in my tone. "Everything is a game to you."

He let out a breath, "Well then, would you like to play?"

I clenched the bedsheet from under me, until my fists went numb, "Only to win."

And there it was, his arrogant grin, "You really are a devil aren't you."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You make me this way."

"No, Mirea. I adore you this way." He said my name in a way nobody ever has.

With a sick illusion of lust.

I should slap him so hard his face would bleed white for a week.

I should kick him so hard his lungs would lurch into his throat and smother him.

I should snap his bones and leave him to rot in this bed until he begs for mercy.

I should. I should. I should.

And I don't.

As if he didn't have the patience to wait any longer, Inanis thrust his lips onto mine. Every voice in my brain was screaming to pull him off me and run run run.

This is the exact situation I had been terrified of since Inanis and I announced our marriage to the world.

He wasn't supposed to be attracted to me like this.

He's supposed to hate me as much as I hate him.

This isn't how it was supposed to go at all.

All of my dread and anxiety stopped.

And I let my anger consume me.

I gripped his shirt, my hatred for him fueling my body, making it crave something entirely wicked. The feeling of his heart pounding so hard against his chest that I could feel it on my fingertips was that precious wicked thing that I was looking for.

I found something new.

Tonight, for only a moment, he let me mold his entire personality, body, existence into my hands.

It was, as he'd say, an incredibly naughty thing to do.

I pulled him closer, so close his body weighed on my chest, making it hard to heave for breaths, but I didn't care. One of his legs moved dangerously close to between my legs as one of his hands explored underneath my shirt, and the other on my leg.

I will not lose control of this.

I will not let him win.

Because he doesn't deserve it.

Because I fucking hate him.

I hate him.

With all my strength, I pushed him over, and rolled on top of him, giving me complete authority. His breathing was erratic, and at this moment I know I won. "I think," I tell him with a smug grin, "That that is all you get." I leaned closer to him, "I win."

He stared at me, for the first time ever, he stared at me like I was not a mere thing to entertain him with.

He stared at me like I meant something in his eyes.

That, I realized, was something I didn't want at all.

It made me sick.

I wanted him to look away from me.

I couldn't look away from him.

"You know." He said after a moment of silence, "You always say I'm the cruel one, but this is just unfair."

"It's about time something unfair happens to you." I pulled myself off him and returned to my side of the bed.

"Well," He cleared his throat, and I felt him also go back to his side of the bed as well, "I may have lost tonight, but I do love a good competition."

"This will never happen again." I tell him, and I hear him sigh.

"Of course." He didn't sound like he believed me, "Good night then, I hope you dream of me."

"I hope you die in your sleep."

"Ahh yes," He spoke simply, as he rolled over until his back was facing me, "and I hope you live so I can taste you again."