The next day I woke up with my head in the clouds. A love-sick puppy if you will. I laid in Payton's large bed surrounded by my still-sleeping best friends, replaying every incredible moment from last night like a dream. Light is streaming in through the corners of the curtains, I roll over and see it's already 11:32am.

A few minutes later Kelly stirs herself awake next to me and all the other girls begin to come back to life shortly after. Right away they're all peppering me for more details about what happened last night between Tyler and I. Apparently my quick explanation in the pool wasn't sufficient enough.

"So.....who made the first move?! Did he use tongue?" Kelly blurts out. Payton looks mildly horrified at the question from her seat on the bed next to me. Rachel and Claire perk up from the air mattress on the floor waiting for me to answer.

"Uh....."

I'm trying to figure out how to answer gracefully without freaking Payton out. I know she's okay with me being into her brother but it still feels kind of awkward. I mean I haven't even really gotten to digest the news myself yet so how can I expect Payton to react? I want to tread lighting in this situation. Payton is my closest friend, and I don't know what Tyler and I are at this point. Everything is brand new.

"....Um....He kissed me first.....and I think that's all I'm going to say about that." A warm blush flushes my cheeks, I give Payton a nervous smile.

"He totally used tongue." Rachel deadpans and the girls erupt in laughter. Payton can't help but laugh along with everyone else, which makes me feel a little bit better. She seems to be taking the news in stride.

Payton, Rachel, Kelly, Claire and I all have plans to spend the day together, just the girls. Pretty sure they had been feeling guilty that I was the only date-less one in our group for Homecoming when they vowed we would have a "boy-free" afternoon together the day after. Obviously that was before Tyler and I became whatever it is that we are to each other. I mean I know he likes me, and he knows I like him.....but what does that make us? It's not like we've had a chance to have any real discussion on "what we are" yet. I don't even know if last night counts as a first date or not? But no time to figure that all out right now, my phone is dead and we all promised we'd put them away for the day anyway.

"We should start getting ready. I'm starving and the giant pretzel from Auntie Anne's sounds soooo amazing right now!" Payton tells everyone.

"Oooo yeah! All the greasy mall foods sound delicious!" Kelly exclaims, she looks like she might start drooling thinking about them.

All five of us rush to get ready so we can get going. I'm the first of us to walk downstairs. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little disappointed when I don't see Tyler or any of the guys around. I hadn't realized I subconsciously had been holding my breath, waiting to see the handsome guy that gave me my first kiss. I knew I wouldn't have time to talk with him or anything (the girls are being incredibly strict on the 'no boys' rule today), but seeing him would have been enough to give me butterflies. Instead, the house is quiet. No sign of anyone other than the note Payton's parents left saying they were running some errands.

****

All five of us girls piled into Payton's car for the mall. As promised, they all turned their phones on silent and put them away. My phone was still dead so I left it in the car to charge.

Our first stop once we got to the mall was the food court for breakfast....I mean lunch. After that, we did some window shopping for a while. Rachel convinced us all to buy matching bracelets from one of the center kiosks. They were each braided leather straps with a letter charm for our first initials. Next we took an extraordinary amount of photos together in a photo booth that really wasn't large enough to fit all five of us before making our way towards the mall's movie theatre. It was a perfect, carefree afternoon.

"I know we said the no phone rule today, but are you guys ok if I check mine real fast before we catch a movie? I want to make sure my parents haven't tried to call me or anything." Claire says. She's the ever-so-sweet, responsible one of the group. Every friend group needs a Claire. She balances us out and makes sure we don't do anything too outrageous.

"Yeah that's a good point. Ok, a five minute phone break is probably not a bad idea." Payton grabs her phone from her purse.

"I guess I'll go get some popcorn while you guys check your phones." I turn to walk away when I hear them all chattering.

"Woah..... I mean I knew Mason was obsessed with me, but seventeen texts and three missed calls seems a bit excessive if you ask me." Rachel laughs to herself when she pulls her phone from her pocket.

"That's weird. I have a bunch of missed messages too." Kelly looks up at us.

"Me too." Claire says.

"My parents called me five times." Payton tells us.

Their carefree attitudes turn to looks of concern as soon as they start reading their texts. Each of my friends goes silent. I'm standing clueless looking at them all. Of all the days to not charge my phone!

"What? What's going on? Someone say something!" I ask in anticipation.

Claire very sweetly puts her arm around me and passes me her phone. She had a whole string of texts from Brady. I'm frantically reading them to see what is so terrible that has left them all speechless and dodging eye contact from me.

Brady: Coach called us for a mandatory meeting. He was super ticked about Tanner and TJ's fight last night at HOCO. Gave us all a very LONG lecture.

Brady: I guess principal Ford and Coach B talked this morning about appropriate punishment. They watched videos of the fight from the school cameras and some of the ones posted by people at the dance. We all thought TJ would be off the hook since Tanner started it but TJ threw the first punch..... plus Tanner's parents are furious I guess. TJ broke Tanner's nose.

Brady: The videos don't look good either.....TJ went off and you can't hear any audio of Tanner taunting him. It just looks like TJ lost his mind and attacked him out of the blue.

Brady: Long story short. Tanner got suspended for two games and TJ is out three. I guess they both should have gotten suspended from school all together but Coach B negotiated with Principal Ford. Thank God.

Brady: This sucks. Our record is going to tank. Idk if we will make the playoffs anymore. TJ not being able to play is gonna kill us. It's late season and we only have a few games left anyways. Even though I can't stand the guy, Tanner is a good player too so him being gone will also hurt us.

Brady: Call me when you can.

Brady: Hey....are you there?

Brady: TJ left after our meeting and drove off. Nobody has been able to get a hold of him since then. Has Payton or Lila heard from him?

Brady: We're all getting a little worried. He normally takes a little time to cool off but it's been like all day. Nobody has heard from him. Call me.

Brady: Hello?

"I need to get to my phone." I look up to my friends in a panic and hand Claire her phone back.

"Let's go. My parents want me home to try and help them find Tyler." Payton tells us while we head for the exit.

"I'm gonna try calling him now." Payton dials her phone. "Dang it, pick up Tyler! Everyone is worried about you." She yells into her phone, the call went straight to voicemail.

Payton must be really worried, she never normally calls him Tyler, she always uses his nickname like everyone else.

"Maybe he turned his phone off to clear his head. I'm sure he's ok. He probably just wanted to cool off." Rachel tells us in a reassuring voice while we climb into Payton's car.

I immediately reach for my phone to see if I have any messages from Tyler. Nothing. Well at least not from him. I have a couple texts and missed calls from my parents. Seems the news has already reached them. The Johnson's probably called my parents worried when neither of their kids were answering them.

All five of us are silent while Payton drives, it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Payton pulls into my driveway first. I'm barely inside my front door when I try to call Tyler. I was too afraid to do it in the car, I didn't want to explain how sorry I was or how guilty I feel about everything in front of the girls if he had picked up the line. But to no surprise, the call goes straight to voicemail. I have a horrible pit in my stomach. What if something terrible has happened? What if he got into an accident because he drove off upset and he got into an accident?! My mind is racing. I send Tyler a text even though I don't think he'll see it, no harm in trying though.

Lila: I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Please call me, or anyone. We're worried about you.

I hold my breath, but there's no response. This is all my fault. If I hadn't gotten myself into the situation with Tanner at the dance then none of this ever would have happened. Tyler wouldn't have had to come to my rescue or get upset at stupid Tanner's drunken antics. Now I feel like I'm the reason the Bulldogs may not make it to the playoffs, but even worse, why Tyler may be dead on the side of the road somewhere right now.

I can't sit still. I'm pacing my room back and forth, my mind spiraling out of control. Romeo is a pretty small town, where could he have gone that nobody can find him? There aren't that many places to—- then it hits me. Where does he always go to clear his head?! I grab my keys from my desk and run down the stairs.

"Mom, I'm going out to help find Tyler, I'll be back in an hour!"

"Ok. Keep your phone on please. Be safe!" She calls back from the kitchen.

The brisk air hits me when I step outside. The sun has already set. I didn't realize it was raining until I stepped out from my porch and the cold droplets hit my face. With no time to waste I begin my drive back to the hidden street Tyler had once taken me down. My heart is racing when I turn onto the dark winding road that's nestled in the woods.

I let out a giant sigh of relief when I see Tyler's parked car. I pull in next to his Jeep and hop out. My desire to find Tyler outweighs my fear of the dark scary woods that stands between me and the old abandoned mansion Tyler calls his favorite place on earth. I practically sprint up the hill through the trees, partly because it's raining but more so because the quicker I'm out of there the less likely an axe murderer can abduct me. I can see a faint glow coming from the second story of the house when I make it to the clearing. He's still here.

By only the dim light on my cell phone I make my way through what's left of the historic home's hallways. I barely notice the water dripping from my clothing as I walk. I find the wooden ladder again that's my only option to reach the second story. I take a deep breath in and out. You can do this Lila, the faster you get up there, the faster you get to Tyler.

I begin the climb with sure feet and my eyes forward- no time to let my nerves get the best of me. My head peers over the floor when I reach the opening at the top of the ladder. I see Tyler sitting on a blanket overlooking the view below.

"Tyler...." My voice softly calls to him as I start climbing off the ladder.

Tyler whips around. His face is long. The light in his eyes is shadowed over.

"Lila, be careful, let me help you." He comes over and grabs my arm. Tyler pulls me up and I lock eyes with him. He looks awful. My heart drops to my stomach. Immediately the guilt hits me again in a crashing wave. Tyler is a wreck and it's all my fault.

"I'm so sorry. Tyler.....I don't know what I can say or do........This never would have happen—" Tears are beginning to well in my eyes when Tyler cuts me off with a crushing hug. Being wrapped up in his arms takes my breath away. I feel so relieved to have found him, but completely heartbroken at the thought that I did this to him. I caused Tyler this pain.

"Stop. This isn't your fault." Tyler says when we pull apart. "Tanner shouldn't have put you in that situation" Tyler breaks eye contact with me as he continues ".....but I shouldn't have retaliated either."

Something is wrong. I'm watching the words leave Tyler's mouth but something doesn't feel right. He's looking down at his feet. This isn't the Tyler I know talking to me right now. It's someone else, someone cold and distant. He continues wrestling with his thoughts and backs up from me a few steps.

"Lila....I've been thinking about this all day.....I just......I....."

"Tyler, what is it? Look at me..." I plead. "Talk to me, you know you always can."

"I'm trying to......I just don't......I don't....."

"You don't what?" I try to find Tyler's eyes again but he is deflecting me.

"I don't want to let anyone down......not my parents, my teammates, my coach....this town even....and the one person I really don't want to let down is myself.....It's just, I've worked really hard for this, and I can't ruin it all now."

"Ok.....I don't want you to ruin it either. Maybe, maybe I can go to principal Ford and explain the situation again....maybe he'll—"

"No Lila. That's the thing. There's nothing you can do. I made the decision to fight Tanner and I will have to pay the consequences of my actions. But the bigger problem is......" Tyler finally looks at me, his eyes are cold, foreign even, not the piercing blue eyes I have come to know and love.

"....the problem is that I haven't been thinking clearly. I've let my head get clouded from my goals. I'm distracted. Coach has noticed, heck I've even noticed.....I can't....I just can't let myself mess this all up. Not now when I'm so close. I've worked too hard."

Reality of what Tyler is saying to me starts to sink in. Instantly I have hot tears forming in the corners of my eyes I'm desperately trying to push down.

"I don't want to hurt you......but I think it would be better if we didn't see each other. I need to focus on football and regaining the trust back from all the school's who were courting me before all of this happened....I just hope it's not too late."

My body begins to shake and I'm trying incredibly hard to hold back the flood gates from opening up and pouring out my eyes. I feel numb, frozen, I think I'm having an out of body experience. I'm quiet for a minute, unable to speak.

"Lila, please say something..."

"Yeah.....ok. I uh....I....need to go." My voice is barely audible while I try to stifle the tears that are quickly coming.

My heart is breaking in half right now and I don't need Tyler to stand witness to it. He doesn't want me after all. I guess I didn't matter as much to him as he claimed I did. Whatever we were to each other is over now. Tyler had momentarily forgotten his priorities and now he's remembered what truly matters to him, and that's not me. The sad part is, I can't even be mad at him for it. I know he's worked hard for his football scholarships. I mean, I'm the reason everything blew up after all, so I can't blame him for not wanting me as a part of his life anymore. What hurts most is the rejection I feel after finally letting my guard down with him. I hadn't realized until now the years of walls and barriers I had built up surrounding my heart. That's probably why I only ever friend-zoned guys in my past. I always blamed my brothers for not letting guys close to me, which was partly true. But in reality I think I was trying to protect myself from something like this from happening. I didn't want to feel all of the emotions that I have right now.

Snap out of it Lila, you're acting completely pathetic. Don't be ridiculous, Tyler wasn't even your boyfriend! I don't know what he was, we never got that far into this relationship. But whatever he was, he isn't that anymore. Time to woman-up right now. I tell myself and wipe my fallen tears with my hoodie sleeve.

"Please don't be upset. I don't want to hurt you. I just have to look out for myself right now." Tyler says softly. The words still sting to hear.

"Nope, got it. Loud and clear." I turn and begin down the ladder. I look up at Tyler one last time before I go.

"For what it's worth, I hope you achieve your dreams." Then I quickly descend down the rest of the rungs and take off outside.

I don't even remember running through the trees in the rain back to my car. My heart was beating so hard in my ears it numbed everything else out. When I finally was safe inside my vehicle I stopped holding back and let it all out. All my emotions overcame me. Sadness, rejection, guilt, anger, I felt them all. Not sure if my lap was wet from the rain or all the tears that poured from my eyes while I sat in the dark. How did this happen?! Everything went from so perfect to a complete nightmare in less than a day.

I sat there a few minutes longer, a broken mess. When I saw a flicker of a flashlight glow coming from the trees I quickly wiped my eyes and turned my key over in the ignition. I couldn't let Tyler see me crying like a baby in my car. I won't be that girl, she's too pathetic. No, I refuse to be the girl who's broken hearted over someone who was never truly mine to begin with. I drove home and immediately crawled into bed. All I wanted was to close my eyes and wake up tomorrow with this all being a bad dream. But sadly, it wasn't.

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