《It Sucks Being a Side Character》Chapter 6
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Chapter 6
After that last encounter, we continued for a few hours without seeing anyone else. We had decided to take the country route to keep an attack like that from happening again. Crowded cities aren’t really the ideal setting to fight an enemy who just kind of hides.
“One fight was enough...I’m ready to go home.” I complained to Roku as we walked.
We figured if we walked through the fields, there would be nowhere for them to hide. If it's a face to face, head on fight, then Roku can dispatch them in no time. Speed run strats.
“My, my, what do we have here?” Roku suddenly said.
Plans never do go my way, do they?
Standing in the middle of the field, was clearly an enemy. You don’t just stand in a field in the middle of nowhere with your arms crossed staring down the approaching duo if you’re not going to fight them. I hope it’s quick. If we have two mediocre fights in a row the audience will get bored.
“I have been sent by Koun to dispose of you, but I have also come for my own reasons. I have no quarrel with the weak one, he may pass.” the mysterious stranger said, the last part most likely addressed to me. It was true, but it still hurts.
“Okay, well… I’ll get going, I guess. Make it quick so you can catch up, Roku!” I began to continue on our valiant quest until-
“Actually, I’ll take care of the little one.” Another one said as he appeared out of nowhere, his words also addressed to me.
“So, what’s it gonna be now? Another filler-fight, or are we finally getting into the meat and potatoes of this arc?” I questioned in an exaggerated manner.
“Or they can just be fights. Not everything follows a predictable plot. This is real life, not one of your shows.” Roku responded.
“Well, they usually do fit into one of three categories. There's-”
Our short-lived discussion was then interrupted by the maybe-filler-maybe-canon villain's introduction.
“I am Chikara, and I only acknowledge the strong. I have come to test myself against you. You whose infinite strength is known across the underworld. I want nothing more than to take you down in proper combat.” The first guy gave his cliche introduction.
“We’ll have our fight over here, where they can’t get in the way.” The second guy said to me. Beginning the fight in a dignified orderly manner. This is definitely a Shonen arc.
“Hey, let’s not go too far.” I responded nervously; I’d like to be near Roku in the scenario that these aren’t
filler villains.
“So, um, what's the deal with you? What's your tragic backstory?” I asked, expecting to get the usual seven paragraph long response that Chikara was telling Roku right now. It would be good to buy some time.
“Like you, I was just someone who was shackled to their fate. Koun approached me, I joined him. Nothing major.” He responded with a shrug.
That takes the ‘villain introduction any% speed run record’.
“Koun sent me to test your powers, I'm not trying to kill you, unlike that last crazy chick. Women, am I right?” He said with a chuckle and tried to playfully nudge
I didn’t respond to his joke, which seemed to disappoint him.
“To be completely honest, I don’t know why he trusts all those deranged lunatics with God complexes. I mean, that girl wasn’t even connected to us, but she’d have been more than welcome to join. He recruits anyone and everyone who wants to change their fate. I just wanted a change of pace, not any of this defying fate stuff. So, this is what we’ll do-”
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“I get it, I get it.” I interrupted him.
“Koun sent you to pull the ‘I’m not like other girls’ act. But I'm not going to fall for it. I’ve seen this scenario a hundred times. Doesn’t really surprise me, tell Koun to get better material. I mean, you were even dissing your shitty organization in your sales pitch” I laughed.
“Obviously if you’re with the rest of these guys you're not normal. So quit trying to sweet talk me and get on with it.” I continued.
“Sheesh, I wasn’t finished yet. But if you insist.”
The second he was finished I felt a blow to the back of my head, burying me in the ground. He was still in front of me, he hadn’t moved in the slightest.
“Ooh, that doesn’t look too good, are you ok?” he said, reaching out his hand with a concerned smile.
Without hesitating, I used Version Two to magnetize both of my swords and bring them to my hands. I swung, and missed.
In the blink of an eye, before I could react to what had happened, he was gone. Panicked, I looked around for any sight of him.
“Wow, such hostility.” He sneered.
He was standing, leaned up against a tree about 25 yards away. How could he get there so fast?
“Come on Lee, let's be friends!” He said cheerfully with his arm around my shoulders.
“What the hell!?” I yelled. I was clearly outmatched, I have no idea how he was able to go from the tree to standing right beside me that fast, there was no way. I’ve seen fast. I am fast, but there is no way anyone could be that fast. It was incomprehensible.
He was playing with me; he could have killed me. I would be dead if he tried, if he could move fast enough to do that, he could have ripped my heart out without me even noticing. This was bad.
“Banished Blades, Version Two!” I yelled.
I have to flee; this was a battle I could not win. I have to get away.
If I can get to Roku, he might be able to do something about this guy. I couldn’t win this fight on my own. I can’t do it myself. I need Roku. I need Diran.
I launched towards a boulder; the only thing close enough to magnetize.
“Come on friend, let's just enjoy a picnic!” He said, sitting on the rock I was hurtling towards to escape him, holding a picnic basket.
“I'll have to pass on that offer!” I shouted.
This was getting weird. A picnic basket? He’s not even doing this stuff to intimidate me; he’s just doing it for his own entertainment. He’s just playing with me. He doesn’t even see me as an opponent, he sees me as a toy.
If he doesn’t see me as a threat, that means he either is fully aware of what I can do, or is so confident in his own abilities that he doesn’t need to.
I may as well bet on the second option.
“Banished Blades, Version Three.” I changed forms, focusing all my energy into a ranged lightning blast at my target, and he just so happened to be at the perfect range.
“With the thunderclap, begone!” I shouted as I let the lightning blast loose. It shot down from the sky with both speed and power, a direct hit would blast him into oblivion.
The boulder he was on exploded into thousands of pieces as my lightning made direct contact. If it had hit, he would be dead. There was no doubt about that. But the question is, did it hit?
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“Wow, you sure are carrying a lot of hostility, did your father hit you as a child?” He said with his best Hannibal Lecter impression, as he stood there with sunglasses watching the flames from the blast.
“Speaking from experience, are you!?” I shouted back.
Dammit, even the quips in this fight are bad. This guy is throwing me off my flow. This is why I can’t fight alone!
This guy isn’t even fighting at this point, he never was. He just repeatedly avoids my attacks and mocks me. This wasn’t a fight I could win, so I might as well not even try.
If I can get to Roku, then we can double team him, we might actually have a chance then. I need to get away. I need help.
“You’re not going anywhere!”
Pain coursed through my body, as he stomped down on the back of my knee cap. I screamed out in pain.
“Jeez, you’re an eager beaver aren't ya?” he said, as he grinded his foot on my kneecap. In an instant he was gone again, as quickly as he appeared he had vanished.
I struggled to my feet, waiting for him to appear again. How did he do it, how did he move so quickly? Was he stopping time? Or was it something else? Either way he was strong, too strong to be a filler villain.
“You’re hopeless,” He said. “Do you not see the gap? I was told to assess your strength, but you don’t have any!” He said while laughing.
“You're way too quick to give up, you have no initiative, no will! You're like a damsel in distress, waiting for a big strong man to save you, because you’re too weak and useless to save yourself!” He was laughing now, laughing at my inadequacy, at my inability to act, and that somehow hurt more than his blows.
“Oh, I know that. I know it better than anyone, but I still have one technique up my sleeve.” I took my stance, this one was different from Version 2 and 3. And if my guess was right, this just might work. But if it’s wrong …. let’s not think about that now.
“Oh? I guess you still have some fight left in you, or did you just realize that there's no escape?” He asked with that same mocking look on his face.
He breathed in, then vanished.
“Banished Blades, Version One!” I shouted.
The electricity flowed from me into the blades and into the surrounding air. My hair stood on edge from the static, blue lightning crackled across my swords, across my body, and in the immediate area around me.
“This better work!” I grunted as I attempted this for the first time.
Instead of keeping the energy within, I outpoured it from every part of me.
Electricity crackled as it arced through the surrounding area. It hurt and was unlike anything I’d done before, but it was all I could think to do.
He appeared directly behind me, with a chop aimed at the back of my neck.
“AAAAAAUGH!!” He screamed as the lightning shocked him.
It was just as I had predicted. My guess was right. I could win. I could win. I can finally win a fight. I can finally stand on my own!
Using the increase in speed and strength from this technique I swung my swords. I aimed to kill. He gasped and tried to dodge, but it was too late. He was too close. My swords cut down his chest, sending electricity coursing through deep into his body.
Before I could hit any lethal points, he vanished.
“So, you figured it out, eh?” He said while holding his chest.
“You’re teleporting,” I said. “Instantaneous movement, ignoring space and time. You had gotten used to not being opposed, so your movements got sloppy. They got predictable.” I said with a sly smile, trying to contain my excitement.
Standard villain stuff, they become so confident in their abilities that they get sloppy. He may be strong, way stronger than me, but he is still predictable. Once I figure out his powers, once I figure out his motivations, I can figure him out. I can classify him under one of the many cliches, and once I have that figured out, beating him is a matter of following the spreadsheet.
Version One normally went through my body, making me faster and stronger, but this time I let the energy out. Creating a five-meter ball of electricity around me, almost like a force field. When he teleported in, he would get shocked, disrupting him for a second and giving me time to counterattack.
With the speed of Version One, a second is all I need.
“That was only a one-time thing.” He added.
“Do you get that a lot?” I smirked, finally a good line. The tide of this battle was changing, I could feel it!
I took my position, bracing for his next attack. I got both a good quip and a good attack in, I inflicted both physical and mental damage. His next attack will be more anger fueled. He’ll follow the spreadsheet to a T.
“Aah, would you look at the time?” He said while looking at his wrist.... which didn’t contain a watch.
“I'll have to be on my way, I have assessed your power, so I don't need to be here any longer. I will get you back for this eventually though.” He said while pointing to the x shaped cut along his chest.
“The name’s Gerald, you will be seeing me again. Until then!” He said with a wink and salute, just before he vanished.
“Huh. I’m used to being the one who retreats, it's nice to have someone else run away with their tail between their legs for once.” I responded
But he couldn’t hear my mockery, as he was already gone.
A huge weight lifted from my shoulders and I collapsed to the ground in relief. I survived. He didn’t kill me.
Sure, his character pointed to him being an important mini boss type, which means I probably haven’t seen his full power. But I lived, and I even outsmarted him a little bit. I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, I had finally won. Despite the many, many failures, I had won. Despite my weakness, I had won. Despite my uselessness, I had won. I was happy.
“You didn’t think you’d get off that easy, did you?”
I felt my legs get kicked out from under me, as a two-handed blow hit the back of my head, knocking me into the ground, hard.
Jesus-Tapdancing-Christ! I forgot; all those rules would only apply if I was the protagonist. As a side character, I don’t get to win these.
I tried to get up, my head spinning, when a kick caught me in the chest.
“Take this you piece of shit!” He said as he kicked me repeatedly.
“You’re nothing! You’re trash! You're less than trash!” he said as the blows continued.
Ah yes, a normally quirky and composed person turns into a completely unhinged maniac when angry, how original.
“Know your damn place!” He said as he picked me up by my hair.
I was an idiot to think I’d won. I deserved the spit in my face, and the headbutt that followed. But I don’t think I deserved to get my back slammed against a boulder. But he did that anyways.
The pain coursed through my body; I hardly had any time to move during this exchange. No time to think.
No time to respond.
My head was spinning and felt like it would explode, and my ribs were definitely broken. I was foolish to think I stood a chance. It was like I said earlier, he was getting sloppy, and I got a lucky hit. Nothing more to it.
But I let it get to my head. I let my guard down like the idiot I am. Nothing had changed. I was still weak. I am still weak.
He threw me across the field. I thought that was the end of it. No, I hoped it was, but as with my previous assumptions, I was wrong.
He teleported after he threw me, and spiked me to the ground volleyball style. My whole body was in pain, I struggled to move in even the slightest way.
“Got a little carried away there. Sorry about that.” He said with a chuckle while regaining his composure.
“Well, at least one of us had fun.” He said as he brushed off his jacket.
“Is that what you always tell your girlfriend?” I said with a weak smirk.
He gave me one more swift kick to the face, before vanishing once again.
“At least I got the last laugh.” I said while rolled over and coughed up blood.
“This is why we need a healer.” I added while looking around for Roku.
I was really off my game today. Especially joke wise. If I can’t even do my job as the comedic relief character, then this really was a colossal failure.
I don’t have the strength to stand yet. So, I’ll just lay here and see how Roku is doing.
As I turned, I spotted them still standing in the same spot, still monologuing. My whole fight with Gerald went by, and they had yet to begin their battle. They were still talking.
“What kind of a name is Gerald anyways! He couldn’t think of an intimidating nickname? You expect me to tell people I got bested by the great and mighty Gerald? This sucks!”
I was still weak, I was still useless, I was nothing compared to Roku, and he was nothing compared to
Diran. I am nothing.
In that fight, I was Krillin, and he was Tambourine. That enemy's sole purpose was to reduce me to a bloody pulp to piss the real hero off. I was dead weight. I’m not going to be able to get out of this pit. I’ll lay in this crater caused by my own inadequacy, awaiting someone to save me. My role in this arc was over. My role in this story will diminish, I’ll fade deeper and deeper into the background, until my character is forgotten.
I was a failure. I can’t do anything. I can’t beat anyone. Why did I want to become a hero anyways? What was my motivation to do all this? Why do I care so much? Why do I put myself through this? And why haven’t I quit?
I thought back to what Tsubusu had asked me. We’d had this conversation not long ago, and I was left with the same question. Why?
“Why did you become a hero?”
Why did I? Why do I endure this pain? What do I get from it? What's the point? And what led me to take this path?
Oh dang......am I gonna get a flashback episode?
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