"Do you want me to drive you home?" I ask Niall first thing in the morning. My voice is weak from last night. At the thought of last night, the pleasure, moans, screams, kisses and love bites that I have all over my body now, a electric wave rushes through my veins.

"Let you drive me home and then drive alone back. No way." Niall rolls his eyes over dramatically, making me laugh. I roll from my back to my side and draw something random into his bicep.

"Why not?" I don't look up to face him and just look at the circles, triangles, squares and other weird forms that I draw into his skin.

"There's no way I'm letting you drive alone in this weather." He explains and it seems like he got more Irish during the days that we've been here. His accent got stronger and actually just about everything has become more Irish. A scene of him taking off the dark green sweater of him pops into my mind. I'll be having those a lot when he's gone. Just the thought of him and last night makes me automatically want him to stay but I know that he has to go. He has to spend some time with his family. That's only fair. They miss him probably as much as I do and just because we're now together doesn't mean that I'll keep him to me and not share to at least his family.

And I only his family.

Niall is mine.

"But the truth is that you don't want to sing more High School Musical songs with me in the car, isn't it?" I laugh. Niall burst out laughing and can't seem to stop even when I roll my eyes at him as I sit up. He laughs and hits the mattress as he holds his tummy. I hold the duvet in front of my chest as I move away from him. When I'm about to stand up, Niall grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"I love you." He stops laughing, sits up and wraps his arms around my waist from the back pulling me to his chest.

"I love you too." I giggle. Niall kisses my shoulder and then my neck before he lets go of me. He watches me picking up my clothes and bites his fists as I get dressed. His eyes are on me as I put my underwear, bra, shorts and his sweater on.

"You won't need that sweater, will you?" I joke as I leave my room and go to the bathroom. I get ready for the day and put my hair into a high pony tail before I go downstairs to prepare breakfast. I'm about to crack two eggs into a pan when Niall comes in, all dressed and ready to go.

"You're not planning on leaving without breakfast, do ya?" I ask and to my surprise he nods. Niall bites his lip as I walk over to him and put my arms around his torso. "Are you serious?"

"Yep. My mum made breakfast." Niall smiles and puts his hand on my head. He messes up my hair, chuckling as I place my head on his chest.

"At least take a muffin with you, Niall. I don't want you to cause any accident just because you're hungry. And, besides that, I don't want your mum to think that I don't feed you." I laugh against his chest and move back. He lets go of me easily and I get a muffin out of the basket that mum filled yesterday. I give Niall his muffin and lead him to the door where we kiss for another two minutes before letting go of each other. After a million and one 'I love you's Niall leaves. I close the door, stand by the window and watch him put his suitcase into the boot of his car before getting inside and driving home.

Gosh I love him.

Good three minutes after Niall left the house and disappeared in the far, I go back to the kitchen and finish up making my breakfast which was planned for two. I feel like it has been years since the last time, I had time on my own. After eating my breakfast and washing up, I go to the living room and lay down on the sofa. I turn on the TV and wait for things to happen.

But nothing happens. Ethan is probably still at Sam's and where mum and Mr. McAllister are do only they know and I can't ask them since they're not here - obviously. I could be productive, clean my old room or the whole house. I could study, read or write, but instead I just do nothing.

To be honest, I kinda feel empty. People tell me that I tent do overexaggerate things and those people are right. I do. I do over exaggerate. I've got an active mind that's always thinking about stuff. Always.

Fortunately (or not) mum and Mr. McAllister – I mean Robert, come home. Since I'm my father's daughter, I have to make a joke now. I just have to. "Where have you been young lady?" I ask my mother and she enters the living room, followed be her beloved boyfriend. Sound weird, feels weird, referring to Mr.McAllister as my mother's boyfriend. Ew.

"You really are you father's daughter." Mum rolls her eyes as I smile at her proud.

"No, seriously though, where have you been? Even me and Niall were earlier at home than you guys. I mean, seriously, Niall already left to drive home. Like, mother, we've got that sleeping over thing better up than you, and you guys should have more experience than us, shouldn't you? Despite the fact that you guys are older." I smirk at Mr.McAllister and mum.

"Cheek yOlive." Mum shakes her head at me, making me laugh. "Did Niall eat?" She changes the subject and goes to the kitchen. I get up and follow her and Mr. McAllister into the kitchen.

"He had a muffin." I explain and lean against the kitchen island as mum goes around it just to check if it's as clean as she left it. "By the way, you still haven't answered my question." I tell her and turn around to face Mr.McAllister who sits at the breakfast table.

"We just had dinner at a hotel and had a bit too much of champagne to drive home, Olivia." Mum smiles and for a second I think she's smiling towards me until I realize that he's smiling at Mr.McAllister – I mean Robert, Goddamn! It makes me shiver thinking what could might have happened between them two last night.

"You all right?" mum tears me out of the close nightmare that I nearly had, standing here in the kitchen, thinking about them together.

"Actually..." I walk around the kitchen island, take mum's hand and drag her out of the kitchen. Mr.McAllister stands up but I raise my finger at him, hinting to stay back and that we might need few minutes.

"What are you doing?" Mum wants to know and sounds like me in moments when I'm annoyed and Ethan wants something for me.

"I need explanation, okay?" I don't stop to pull her behind me until we're upstairs in Ethan's bedroom. First instinct was to go in my room, but I don't know how it is in there right now. Second instinct was to go to mum's bedroom, but I really don't want to go in there either. Ethan's bedroom is, I guess, the only neutral environment.

"Explanation for what?" Mum asks and sits down on Ethan's desk chair as I sit down on his bed.

"Why you and Mr.McAllister – I mean, Robert?" I've been asking myself that question ever since I first saw them together and I would have asked mum before but I was too busy with Niall.

"What do you mean, you and Robert. Why we're together?" She asks and I nod. "Because we love each other, Olivia." Mum says slowly as if she's explaining something to a little child.

"I know that you... love each other, mum but... why my english professor? Couldn't you choose someone else? Like, I don't know your neighbour or something? Look, he doesn't even live in Ireland. That's a distant-romance... aren't-aren't you too old for that?" I ask all the question have been waiting to come out for so long.

"Olivia... I didn't choose to fall in love with Robert again--" She's about to say more but I just have to cut her off.

"AGAIN?!" I raise my eyebrows at her and she nods.

"I had a crush on him before your dad joined us and started doing everything so that I fall in love with him, which I eventually did... Robert was always first, though and yeah... what can I say? I know that it's a 'distance-romance' but I don't care. We're old enough to manage that and not actually old enough to be IN one, Olivia."

"Does dad know about you two?" I carefully ask.

"No, I plan on telling him a bit later... maybe next year." mum says and I nod understanding

"Next year.. is in a week, mum." I giggle, making her laugh a bit too.

"I know, Olivia. Do you have anymore questions?" She smiles.

"Yeah umm... what did Mr.McAllister mean when he said that he knows me and Niall from when we were younger?" I want to know. Mum looks around, avoiding my eyes as she rubs her knees. She's nervous all of the sudden.

"He came over once, when you were 3 or something and... I don't know how he knows Niall." She stands up and is about to leave. I know that that wasn't the truth and I can clearly see how uncomfortable she got all of the sudden.

"Mum, why can't I remember my childhood?" I ask. She turns around quick and her face is pale as she looks me directly in the eye.

"Can we talk about this another time?" She asks and takes a deep breath.

"I really want to know it now, though." I stand up and watch her get more nervous. Something about that subject really seems to make her feel uncomfortable, but what is it? What happened that she can't tell me?

"Look, Olivia... you were and still are a good girl. Always kind, cheerful and smart. Isn't that enough information for you?" She takes a step back and I already know that I shouldn't have asked.

This is leading to nowhere.

"No, it's not, mum. I really want to know what happened in my childhood and why I can't remember it." I take one step closer to her, before the door opens and Ethan appears.

"There are certain things you shouldn't know, you know, Olivia." Ethan comes in all of the sudden, followed by Jazzy.

"Do you ever make sense little brother?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"I do actually." He smiles proud. I shake my head at him, quietly laughing. Mum takes the change and leaves before I can ask her more questions and make her feel more uncomfortable. But why can't she just tell me?

"Everything alright?" Jazzy asks and I just nod.

What happened that she can't tell me?

What was in my childhood that I can't know?