《Area Codes // dreamwastaken》thirteen
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Incoming Call from "Daffy Duck".
Caoimhe stared at her phone screen in horror as her conversation with Nick was replaced by a picture of Bart Simpson with a slide to answer button at the bottom. Did she or did she not answer? She didn't know what to do.
Caoimhe squeezed her eyes shut and slid her finger across the screen.
She held the phone up to her ear and waited.
"?" Bartholomew spoke, sounding panicked. No, she corrected herself, his name was Clay, not Bartholomew. "?"
"I assume you finally read Nick's messages. He really didn't mean to."
Was he mad at Nick about it? She hoped he wasn't. It was just something as trivial as a first name. It wasn't like she was gonna use his number and name to track him down. She wasn't insane.
"" Florida Man sounded stressed. "."
"It's just a name, Clay." Caoimhe tried to reassure him, freaking out when she heard him do a sharp intake of breath when she said his name. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That was so rude of me."
"." He cut her off. "."
She blushed, in spite of herself, mumbling a couple more little apologies.
"" Clay asked, genuine curiosity seeping through his tone.
"You have to earn that."
"." He sounded like a pouting toddler.
"What do you mean?" She teased. "I've been buttering Nick up for days."
"."
"How do you know that?"
"."
"Awww." She giggled. "That's cute."
"." Clay blurted, making Caoimhe burst into laughter. ""
"I'm sorry." She choked out between laughs. "You just sounded so offended."
Her laughter was contagious and Clay started wheezing along with her.
The front door of her apartment slammed open and Drew started yelling. "BITCHHHH! I just got LAIDDDD!"
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Caoimhe and Clay just started laughing even harder.
"Their name was fucking Fox!" Drew opened Caoimhe's bedroom door without knocking. "Not even Layla could move like that- OH MY GOD ARE YOU ON THE PHONE?!"
"YES!" Caoimhe gasped.
Clay laughed so hard he sounded like he couldn't breathe. Drew's hand flew to their mouth.
"Did he just-?"
"Hear everything you said? Yes."
"I'm so sorry, oh my god!"
"!" Clay continued to laugh. "?!"
Drew paused and made a face. "Who are you on the phone with?"
"Bartholomew." Caoimhe silently gestured for them to get out.
"Oh okay. Well uh, I gotta go to feed the fish, bye!" Drew backed out of the room and fled.
"?"
"No."
He started laughing again, Caoimhe joining in.
The two of them joked for a little while longer before Clay had to go, hanging up on Caoimhe with a quick "." before her phone screen shifted back to her conversation with Nick.
he's not mad
just disappointed
HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH
clay laughs like a tea kettle
yeah, he nearly stopped breathing at one point
hey ! >:(
meanie weenie
cool cool cool
Caoimhe dropped her phone on her bed and stood up, ready to go get more information about Fox from Drew. Them breaking their three month dry-spell was a big deal. Drew got grouchy a lot when they weren't getting any.
Drew was staring at their phone, sitting on the old couch they'd picked up off the street in Freshman year. Their eyebrows were furrowed together in concentration.
Caoimhe cleared her throat and they jumped, quickly plastering a smile on their face.
"Hi babes!"
"How did you score someone on a Tuesday evening?! I'm impressed." Caoimhe threw herself on the couch, ready for the gossip.
"I told you the mullet was a good move." Drew stuck their tongue out at Caoimhe. "Hey, how about I go put one of your mom's casseroles in the oven and we talk about it over dinner?"
"Yeah," Caoimhe considered it. "That sounds good. I think we still have some red wine leftover too."
"Sweet. Would you mind if I turned on another Manhunt to watch while we wait? Sober this time."
"It's your night, tonight. Of course I'll watch your dumb Minecraft videos with you."
"Yay! You'll love this."
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Binary Progression: Torrented Edition
This was ment to be the self-published 'real' book of Binary Progression; turns out there isn't much of a market for this kind of story... that and it sucked! As such I am writing another (more successful) series but this was just laying about my book folder so I'm posting it here, please forget the fact I said it sucked, pretty please. JohnWillStab is the poorly-named shut-in on a quest to get into MMOs after a failed online career backfired leaving him uninterested in his speciality, strategy games. He discovers an old, abandoned game with an active, albeit very eccentric, community of no more than five-hundred players on a single server maintained by an unknown individual. Unbeknownst to him, the game he found is more than just an ordinary WoW clone and after many adventures with his group, they make the terrifying discovery that after two full volumes this story becomes a god damn isekai. What’s worse, JohnWillStab, the number-one edgelord on the server is somehow ending up in positions of power despite literally being an undead rogue with evil magic tentacles! Will John’s edginess ruin the isekai? Why does the doctor have the highest kill-count in the game? Is 👑 really a valid character you could use for your username? Can the chef perform an exorcism? Why is God asking John for chicken nuggets? Really, he could just spawn them in - in fact, we saw him spawning food in before!
8 154Dip$h!+s in Space
An eccentric comedy novel (that thinks it's a TV show) about space, and the Dipsh!+s that end up stranded in it. This hyper-self-aware comedy of stupid proportions, centers around Captain William T Lawg (no relation) and his adventures as a guy who managed to afford a refitted soft-top ice-cream truck, in space. Explore the universe with his trusty crew of valiant randos. Marley, the tech-bro, stoner spacebunny, who just wants to get away from his home world and the bullies it harbors. Duffy, the plump and sassy female mechanic, who has had every job in existence totaling far more years than possible. Roy, the frigging fabulous, flamboyant android, and former spy…or possibly current spy. (dun dun, daaaa!) And lastly, but certainly leastly, that other chick the captain keeps trying to bang. Ride with the crew of the notorious Tast-E-Chill, to a world of wonder that a lot of other space travelers have already been before, but probably not Lawg, so it's still exciting. This satirical joke on itself and every sci-fi trope ever to exist, will be sure to either thrill you or disappoint you, because COMEDY…IS…SUBJECTIVE! With a crew of 3-10 and an IQ of also probably 3-10, The captain putters along to uncharted lands, where history, loot, drama, innuendos of the sexual verity, and various Technicolor hoes shall surely be waiting, usually with some form of trap. Each season brings new and interesting crewmen, like: Menace: the adorable genderless frog-child-thing with the heart of gold and the dialogue vocabulary of a slightly trained parrot. Greg: the 8 foot tall, ancient, thermonuclear, semi-retired alien overlord who just wants to prove he still has a purpose…and also to rule the galaxy. Izzy: a 3rd generation, age-reversed reboot, accidental clone of her own mother/sister/older self, who happens to be Greg's daughter-in-law…and much, much more. Prepare yourself for shallow adventure, moderately-to high offensive dialogue, and overwhelmingly childish scenarios. Tag along as the crew battles, fierce enemies, lack of food and survival tape, and occasionally their own incompetence. Teen Romance, current politics, subtlety, dignity, this sucker has none of those, and it darn well knows it. Raise the sails and grab the rails as a bunch of dipsh!+s find themselves...IN SPACE. (Roll dramatic tapering credits, to royalty free trumpet music)
8 126A Very boring book
There is nothing better than a really dumb book that's wastes a lot of your time
8 166Gods of Tartarus: Melody of Wrath
Mallory. A poor girl of the modern times who was plagued with a genetic disease which caused her to be small and weak, had breathed her final breath. In a sea of clouds, she meets a god who had been trying to keep her alive, but failed to do so in the end. With promises to fulfill any wish she desires, Mal wished to be big and strong, but due to an unknown issue, she is no longer a human, but a giant! Can she adjust to her new life and escape the cruel, male dominant, and abusive giant clan? Will she be able to survive on her own? Read on and follow, Melody, as she grows to larger than life!
8 135Harry Potter is more like his mother than people expected.Except for maybe a revision here and there, this story is officially discontinued. Read the part titled "Hello Again" for more information.
8 119translated novels and stories 5
translated novels that i would like to recommend to you
8 167