I was completely dreading this.

Ever since I'd gone Instagram stalking, I couldn't even look at Mrs. Thompson.

Well, you're an idiot for jerking off to her fucking Instagram.

I jogged down the hallway, stopping when I saw Amelia. "Hey, you're coming home with me?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, "if that's okay."

"Okay," I said, "here are my keys. Go on to my car if you want."

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I have to ask Mrs. Thompson about this paper," I said, "I'll be right out."

She nodded and smiled, making me run to Mrs. Thompson's classroom. I opened the door and walked inside, turning on one set of the lights.

"Hey, Mrs-"

I stopped in my tracks when I saw her at her desk, scrambling around for something to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, "I can c-"

"N-no," she said, sniffling, "no, you're good. Come in."

"I'm already in," I muttered, earning her eyes.

I felt a wave of guilt rush over me, and I hadn't even made her cry.

At least she's a pretty crier?

"Sorry," she said, shaking her head as she cleared her throat.

"I-I just needed some more instruction on this research paper," I said, cautiously approaching her.

"Alright," she said, "come here."

I knelt down next to her, placing the paper on her desk. "Just a little confused, that's all."

She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. I could see her blinking back tears, but one fell on my paper.

She sniffled and turned away from me. "We'll-we'll discuss it more in class tomorrow."

"Hey," I softly said, "is everything okay?"

She laughed, shaking her head as she dried her tear stained cheeks. "I'm okay. Thank you."

She stood up and cleared her throat, walking back to the back of her classroom. I stood up and bit down on my lip, hesitantly following her.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked, a few desks separating us.

Her eyes locked on mine, she nodded. "Y-yes."

"If it has anything to do with that husband of yours, you're way far out of his league," I deadpanned.

She laughed, wiping her cheeks.

"Wait, how do you know what my husband looks like?"

"I-I don't," I lied, "b-but I don't have to. To know that you're out of his league."

She sniffled, smiling. "Smooth."

"And he probably doesn't deserve you."

She brushed past me, making me softly grab her arm.

She looked up at me, making me bite down on my lip and look down at her.

"You should go home," she said, nodding up at me.

"I should," I said, nodding.

She blinked back tears, yet again, making me gently wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her into me.

You're making a huge mistake, Hero.

She stood against me, the side of her face against my chest.

"I promise, we don't all suck," I said, looking down at her.

She pulled away from me, her eyes locked on mine.

I swiped my tongue across my bottom lip, clearing my throat. She pushed herself away from me and lowered her eyes, raking her hands through her hair.

"Y-you should go," she said, "you really need to go."

I stood in the same spot I was in, making her look up at me after a few seconds.

"Hero, please go."

"Before you do something stupid?" I asked, taking a step towards her.

She parted her lips, her eyes wandering all around, and landing on everything but me.

I clenched my jaw, trailing my eyes down her. "It's a shame he can't appreciate what he's got."

She looked up at me, completely speechless.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said, and as I walked out of her classroom, it registered with me exactly what I'd done.

"What were you doing with her?"

I turned around, facing Amelia.

"N-nothing," I said.

"Why were you hugging her?" She asked, looking up at me.

"I thought you were going to my car," I said, knitting my eyebrows together.

"And I thought you were going to ask about a fucking paper," she said, her eyebrows knitted together.

"Why do you care?" I asked, shaking my head.

She laughed, folding her arms over her chest. "She's a teacher, Hero."

"Okay, she was having a rough time," I said, but realized there really wasn't any excuse. I'd most certainly stopped using my brain in that moment.

"Why don't you get her to go home with you," she sneered, dropping my keys.

"Amelia!" I yelled, grabbing my keys from the ground.

"What?" She yelled, across the empty hallway.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

She shook her head, turning around. "Of course you can't see it."

"I can't see what?"

"Anything," she said, "you can't see anything."

~*~

"You should probably wait until the weather calms down to go back to your apartment," Fred said, rolling over on his back.

I looked down at him, chewing on my bottom lip.

I felt guilty. And I never, ever liked feeling guilty.

But feeling guilty seemed to be a recurring theme for me recently.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his forearm resting on his forehead.

"I feel like we're sneaking around," I said.

He looked over at me, smiling. "Okay, and that's not fun?"

"I mean, maybe if we weren't hiding it from our kids," I said, "if it was anyone else, cool. But not them. I feel guilty."

I stood up, wrapping my thin robe around myself.

He didn't respond right away, just sat upright and grabbed his sweatpants from beside the bed. "Well, don't beat yourself up over it."

I opened the bedroom door and walked down the lengthy hallway, walking downstairs. The house was dark and gloomy from the unpleasant weather, and I genuinely hated storms.

I walked into the kitchen and stood at the kitchen counter, grabbing a glass to pour some water into.

"I mean, all the kids want is for their parents to be together. That's what all kids want," I said, as soon as I could see Fred's tall, muscular frame standing at the base of the staircase.

"So why aren't their parents together?" He deadpanned.

I looked at him from under my eyelashes.

"Fred."

"I'm curious, they're curious," he said, "I mean, we can have sex, we can go out to dinner, lunch, we can do all those things, but we're not together."

"Th-that's an uncomfortable conversation," I quietly said, shaking my head.

"Yeah, it is," he said, "but comfortable conversations never got anyone anywhere."

He walked into the kitchen, earning my eyes.

"Lex, you can talk to me," he said, "mostly because I just want to know."

"What do you want to know that I haven't already told you?"

"Okay, in my defense, you were extremely cryptic."

"I still don't even know if it was because of something I-"

"Please don't," I said, shaking my head, "Fred, it was not you. It wasn't something you did or didn't do."

He shrugged, folding his arms over his chest. "Then I at least deserve an actual explanation."

The only person I'd even talked about my emotions and things I was going through with was Lena, because I felt as if she would listen without judgement.

"It might help to talk about it," he said.

"Everything came down on me," I blurted, "at the same time, it all crumbled on top of me."

Fred had the most sweet, understanding eyes when he was truly listening.

"Nothing felt right anymore. Everything exhausted me. Nothing made me happy anymore. I completely lost the woman I was."

"And what made you think that I wouldn't have tried to help?" He softly asked, shaking his head.

"I knew you would've," I said, "that was the issue. Fred, you'd set yourself on fire to keep me warm. You would've completely drained yourself and lost yourself too, trying to put me back together."

He bit down on his lip, shaking his head.

"Everything was burning me out," I said, "every move felt like a battle. Plastering on this fake smile, this fake positivity, it was fucking exhausting."

I felt tears stinging my eyes, making me sniffle and look down.

"Please don't cry," he said.

"Fred, you're larger than life. You always have been. I, too, was larger than life. That's why you fell in love with me."

"That's not true," he said, earning my eyes.

"Fred, we created children that are larger than life," I said, wiping my cheek, "and there is no way, no way, that I could've taken that away from you or them."

He sighed. "I fell in love with you every day, Alexis. It didn't matter how loud or happy, or quiet or sad you were that day, I still fell in love with you. Every day. Watching you be a mom, watching you grow into this beautiful woman."

"This woman," I said, shaking my head as I bit down on my lip, "she's not-"

"Don't you dare," he said, shaking his head as he stood in front of me, "don't you fucking dare."

He grabbed my face, his jaw taut.

I blinked back tears, letting myself melt into his hands. I let out a breath and placed my hands on his hips, leaning my head against his bare chest.

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, rubbing his hand over my hair. "I'm not giving up on you, and you're not giving up on yourself."

I bit down on my lip and pulled away from him, clearing my throat as I took a sip of water.

"Thank you for telling me," he said, "I know it wasn't easy."

I nodded, chewing on my lip. "Y-yeah."

The door flew open, making me look over my shoulder. My eyes went wide when I saw Henry standing there, his eyes locked on the two of us.

"Hey," he confusedly greeted, leaving the three of us in silence.

~*~

"So," Josie said, looking over at me as we walked through the mall.

"So," I said, smiling over at her.

"Any new love interests?" She asked, smiling.

I shook my head. "Not quite."

"Not quite doesn't mean nonexistent. Spill."

I laughed, biting down on my lip. "Really. I'm kind of done with guys at the moment."

"What about Brian?"

I looked over at her, knitting my brows together. "What about him?"

"Well, he totally swoons over you," she said, almost as if it was obvious.

"Yeah, in my dreams."

"So you admit it," she said, "you like him."

"Brian Baker is so far out of my league-"

"Woah," Josie said, stopping in the middle of the mall.

"W-what?" I softly asked, my eyes wandering around.

"You are Francesca King. No one is out of your league. You're out of everyone's league."

I bit down on my lip, nodding. "O-okay."

"Understood?" She asked, scoffing as we began to walk again.

"Yes," I muttered.

"Let's go to Victoria's Secret," she excitedly suggested, looking over at me with a grin.

"Or not," I said.

"Why not?" She asked, her eyebrows in a confused furrow.

"That store scares me."

"Babe, you should try going in a sex shop."

"I think I'll pass."

"Victoria's Secret? Nothing. Just nice lingerie."

"Yeah, that I have no business being in."

She grabbed both of my hands, wriggling her eyebrows as we backed into the store. "Looking never hurt."

I let out a sigh, my eyes on the models on the posters covering the walls. They were all perfect, even the mannequins were perfect.

"I have this bra," Josie said, "well, in every color."

She trailed her fingertips along the line of expensive-looking bras, all decorated with rhinestone straps and matching thongs.

"See? Those scare me."

"Thongs?" She deadpanned.

"W-well," I muttered, "yeah."

"Why?" She asked, obviously confused.

"Do they not, you know, dig?" I curiously asked.

She laughed, shaking her head. "No, they don't dig. Here's an idea, spend that hefty allowance on something other than books."

"I like books," I said, looking up at her.

"I do, too," she said, "but I also like lingerie. You can like both."

I didn't respond, making her sigh and rest her hand on her hip. "At least split the allowance on books and cute matching underwear sets."

"Josie, I'm fifteen," I meekly said.

"About to be sixteen. Time to start stepping into that sexy woman-ness of yours."

Her eyes lit up as they followed a figure walking outside the store, making her grab a piece of skimpy lingerie and throw it at me. "Hold it! Brian, hey!"

My jaw fell slack, making me turn around and see Brian walking backwards towards the entrance of the store.

"Josie!" I whisper-yelled, my eyes wide in horror.

"Hey, Brian!" Josie greeted, "what's up?"

"Shopping for new baseball pants," he said, "hey, Fran."

"H-hi, Brian," I said, looking down at the lingerie I was holding between my fingers. I quickly threw it behind me, scratching the back of my neck.

"Hey, I have to run to the ladies room," Josie said, smiling an excited smile, "keep her company, yeah? She doesn't like being alone."

"Josie," I stuttered out, watching as she ran out of the store.

"Well, hello," Brian greeted, "let's maybe get out of here? I'm getting questionable glances."

I laughed and followed him out of the store, grimacing.

"What, you don't love Victoria's Secret?" He teased.

"I was on my way to the bookstore," I said, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Yeah, books are cooler than all that."

I looked up at him, knitting my eyebrows together. Brian Baker was a seventeen year old guy, probably just trying to get in my good graces- but I thought they only thought with their dicks?

"I'll go with you," he said, "to the bookstore."

"D-do you not have to go?" I asked, "it looks like you found what you needed."

He shrugged, smiling down at me. "I heard you don't like being alone."

I smiled up at him, biting down on my lip. "Y-yeah, let's go."

"Cool," he said, "you lead the way."

~*~