| YOONGI

-

groggily, yoongi's eyes squinted at the obtrusive strip of light that pulsated through a small opening in a broken blind in which he could not afford to fix.

the sunlight kissed his pale skin making the black haired male sigh in defeat, his feet padding to the bathroom.

sunlight slowly pooled in more through the cracks signalling how bright it was outside yet his mood was dimmer then ever, his phone, that was clutched in his hand remained silent just like the mouth that held thoughts and emotions that he desperately wanted to spill.

but he couldn't.

it was all too much to hold in and at times he would find himself, the reflection of the depressed boy staring back at him in the bathroom mirror as he would work out imaginary scenarios and rants all aimed at himself, things that he wished he could change yet never actually did.

he was worse communicating with people online than he was in real life, quiet with a fuck load of things he had bottled up all to himself and let people approach him, trying so hard to make friends on a daily basis without even trying.

his identity was practically covered online so why couldn't he just cover his bland personality also?

reasons behind why he couldn't talk to anyone about his situation was because of an event that had happened months ago that has truly shaken him.

"," jimin stood in the corner of the dingy kitchen and grabbed the elder by his shoulders, fingers curling into the skin that was covered by a thin t-shirt leaving imprints that blemished the pale skin.

tears gathered in the corner of the smaller's eyes as he stared deeply into yoongi's widening eyes.

"." yoongi meekly uttered using all the strength in his tired body to push the younger off, but there was no point, the grasp remained as strong as ever.

"."

so yoongi gave up and fell limp into his arms, giving in despite the fact that he hadn't explained it properly, he desperately wanted to yet the words would never form together correctly, the way he wanted them to.

yoongi wanted to feel .

yes, he had friends, he wasn't alone yet he felt lonely inside, he was an empty shell.

his family were there for him although he never formed an emotional bond with any of them, they were just his support until he could become independent, then he would leave and they would watch him go.

turning to the online world in hope that someone would reach out to him, pulling him out of his nervous mind and help his communication skills blossom, creating a circle of friends all around the world, a feel of happiness and stress lifting off him knowing that he wouldn't be alone once he was at home because he could turn to his world of friends.

but he didn't have any. not a single one.

all of them leaving due to the blunt replies, yoongi would spend hours worrying over what to reply with to keep the conversation going however he always found himself at a halt, the blunt reply being read and never replied to, making his confidence shatter more with each decaying so-called friendship.

completely defeated.

giving up felt like the only option, yet he still continued to mope around on his social media, hoping that one person would stay.

only jimin knew how truly depressed yoongi was, his mind shattering underneath the happy disguise he wore to college every morning, pushing it every last strip of the light that was burning out inside him, every last drop of energy to prove to seokjin and the others that he was fine. He would be fine.

but not only was he lying to the people closest to him; he was lying to himself.

-

classes were done for the day and yoongi dragged his feet to go and meet up with jimin.

his head fell onto the younger's shoulder as a deep string of air exhaled from his lips.

jimin already knew that yoongi was down without even asking, he knew the problem so he slipped one arm around his hyung, using his free hand to entangle in the soft, black, silky threads which made up yoongi's hair.

yoongi just placed a hand over the younger's, the one which was free from his hair and sighed.

the pair were very close, a lot of people, including seokjin thought that they were dating at first due to their strong bond. however the pair vowed to never date or catch feelings for one another, it would end up bad and ruin their deep connection.

"vent to me later." the younger whispers into yoongi's hair as his eyes wander to the happy seokjin who was currently skipping over to the two sporting his cream turtleneck and a pair of round framed glasses.

sitting down, his backpack flung across the table, the smile that was present on the elder's face was photo worthy.

"i've just gotten some amazing news!"

yoongi just tilts his head and keeps his mouth shut.

frowning, seokjin pouts, "this is where you're supposed to ask me what the news is."

"oh my god hyung! please enlighten us with this outstanding news!" jimin exclaims untangling himself from yoongi to reach over the table, both hands supporting his head as he stares at jin.

"stop being so sarcastic you fucker," seokjin scoffs narrowing his eyes at the giggling younger, "anyway, taehyung said that he will be able to come visit me in the summer! his family live here so since he went away to study in seoul, he wants to come and see his family so there's a possibility that we can meet."

yoongi grits his teeth, of course, both of his friends are lucky enough to connect with people all over the world and now one of them gets to meet their internet friend, yet yoongi could barely make one?

still, he smiled for seokjin, saying how happy he was that him and taehyung would finally get to meet after a year and a half of communicating through messages and skype calls.

at the back of his mind, jealousness was filling the small space, he desperately tried to blur out the conversation yet being alone with these thoughts was never a good idea.

jimin noticed the obvious sadness that spread across and melted into the features on yoongi's face therefore he quickly changed the topic of the conversation to a new restaurant that had opened a few blocks away, exclaiming that they should all go together.

yoongi simply sighed, wishing that he didn't have to deal with thes shitty emotions, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but he just ignored the unimportant notification and placed his head in his hands.

-

: hey ! your account's pretty cool we should be friends (:

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a/n damn this ff is getting real lmao

apologies for the really late update, i'm not that good atm and i haven't had that much motivation to write but i finally updated so that's great.

hope you enjoyed anyways

- 🐝