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I shuffled through the line, randomly picking up pieces of food and putting them on my plate without paying much attention. My mind was still clouded; not from sleepiness, but from thoughts of Carter and Teddy. Poppy had woken me up at six o'clock, not even surprised that I managed to sleep through the entire day, and dragged me to the dining hall so I could eat. I hoped that when I woke up I would feel refreshed, but I felt just as hopeless as I had this morning.

When I reached the end of the line, I turned around and started walking toward my table, but stopped in my tracks when I saw Carter sitting there. James and Justin surrounded Poppy on either sides, laughing as she said something, and Carter sat beside James. Looking straight at me. Slowly, I picked up my pace again, not even sure myself how I was going to act around him. I had made my mind up this morning: we couldn't be together, even if it was a nothing-serious, stupid summer fling.

As I sat at the table, Poppy sobered up and shot me an apologetic look, but I just offered a weak smile instead. I began picking at my food, not too interested in joining the table conversation, but that didn't stop Carter from leaning forward across the table. I pretended not to notice, but when he came near me, my heart thumped harder in my chest: a warning sign that Carter Miller was nearby.

"Amelia," Carter says quietly, but I don't look up. "Where were you all day?"

Without looking at him, I mumble, "Asleep."

He's quiet for a moment before his voice raises, but is still only quiet enough for the two of us to hear. "Amelia, look at me."

It wasn't a question, but rather a demand, and the seriousness in his tone made me irritated. So I looked up with a stoic expression yet hardened eyes, staring at him like he wanted, not offering any words. His brow creased as he frowned at me.

"What's wrong?" Carter asks, his voice softer than before.

"Nothing," I say fiercely. "Just stop talking."

Sure, it was harsh, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. After all, he was making it harder for me to stick by my decision when he acted like he cared about me. I looked back down and continued pushing the food on my plate around, intent on spending the rest of dinner like this, but Carter had other plans.

He stood up from the table abruptly, and grabbed my arm to drag me up. My fork fell onto my plate, making a loud enough noise to grab Poppy's attention, along with the twins. I glared at Carter as he began marching out of the dining hall, trying to get my arm out of his grip.

"What the hell, Carter?" I shout once we're outside.

He drops my arm but remains close to me, so close that I can smell his musky scent. His hazel eyes were focused on me, narrowed slightly as he took me in.

"Why are you mad?" He demands. "Is it because of this morning?"

I take a step back, unable to think straight when he's so near, but keep my eyes narrowed at him. "You think? You acted like an asshole when I was freaking out! I wanted comfort, not arrogance."

Carter threw his hands up and groaned, "Really? You're this pissed at me because of some shit I said when I was half asleep?"

I admit, he had a point, but I was far too stubborn to admit that. Instead, I shook my head, and lowered my voice considerably. "Just forget it. We're too different, Carter. You know that."

"What are you saying?" Carter asks carefully, his eyebrows creased as he watches me, his voice softer than before.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he almost looked worried.

I tore my gaze away from his captivating hazel eyes and stared hard at the ground. "This was never going to work out. Even if it wasn't anything serious to begin with."

Silence fell upon us for an antagonizing moment before I finally looked up, and it was perhaps the biggest mistake I've ever made. Carter's eyes were staring intently at me, focusing on my every move, like he was trying to figure me out. His jaw was clenched and there was an unreadable expression on his face.

"Last night was the first night..." Carter starts, but when he sees my unwavering hardened expression, he shakes his head. "Nevermind. If you want to be done, then we're done here."

My mouth hangs open, but no words come out, and they didn't even have the chance to. This time, it was Carter walking away from me, leaving me speechless as he stormed back toward the cabins. I was left standing there, staring at his retreating back, wondering what he was going to say.

Had I just made a huge mistake?

I faintly am aware of the sound of the dining hall door shutting behind me, and then footsteps approaching slowly. When a hand rests gently on my shoulder, I immediately know it's Poppy, and I turn to look at her. She's giving me a soft smile and a look of understanding flashes in her eyes. I can't tell if she heard what we said, but I didn't ask.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Poppy asks me quietly, cautiously.

I wanted to tell her that I had this feeling in my gut telling me that I made this huge mistake, one that I would regret if I didn't follow Carter right now and tell him that I took it back. I wanted to tell her that I wanted her to knock some sense into me, and tell me what I should do. I wanted to tell her that, despite what I previously concluded, all I wanted was Carter.

But instead, I shook my head and replied, equally as quietly, "No," and we walked back into the dining hall without another word.

+ + +

I dragged myself out of bed and to the dining hall for the second time today around nine o'clock to clean up. When I got there, I half expected Carter to be standing there waiting for me, but when I walked in to an empty room, I felt my heart sink. So I began cleaning alone, feeling his absence weigh heavily on me. I guess I shouldn't expect anything of him, considering I was the one that made a big deal out of nothing and ended things.

Not like there was anything to end. I mean, we agreed on no strings attached, right? Just a casual summer fling, no hard feelings, no real relationship to worry about. But a big part of me screamed at myself, telling my own head that my reasoning was bullshit. Of course I cared. I cared about Carter in more ways than I even understood, and for some reason, even though I knew we were from two completely different worlds and we were destined to be a mess, I still wanted him.

I cleaned the dining hall in silence, too trapped in my own thoughts to bother finding the radio and turning it on. I was moving slowly, dragging the rag over the tables and the broom across the floor, my mind just as messy as the dining hall. After what felt like ages of cleaning in silence, I heard the dining hall door shut behind me, and I felt my heart beat quicken immediately. Had Carter come by to talk? Did he miss me like I missed him?

When I turned around, though, I was less than enthused when I saw Teddy's blonde hair and hesitant smile. "Hey, Mina."

My heart sunk into the depths of my chest as I realized two things: one, that it wasn't Carter, and two, that I would eventually have to talk to Teddy about the little... problem we had.

Still, I gave him a half smile. "Hi Teddy."

"You don't sound too pleased to see me," Teddy teases with a grin. "Expecting someone else?"

You have no idea.

"No, just tired," I supplement easily, and it wasn't a complete lie.

I was tired. But not the sleep deprived kind of tired. Tired of overthinking about Carter, tired of stressing about Teddy, tired of wondering if I had made a mistake by assuming Carter and I wouldn't work out.

Teddy nods, his gaze sweeping the room. "Do you want help?"

The simple question makes me remember the nights that Carter and I spent listening to classic rock on the old radio, laughing and dancing and singing as we cleaned. I cringed at the memory and forced a fake smile at Teddy.

"No, you don't have to," I tell him quickly. "It won't take much longer anyway."

Teddy started approaching me anyway. "I don't mind."

I feel myself deflate, but nonetheless force another smile and murmur a thanks. He begins sweeping the dirt on the floor into a dust pan as I take the trash outside, my mind racing about different ways to tell Teddy I only liked him as a friend. It had to be said sooner or later, and while I would rather the ladder, I can't keep going on pretending like everything was normal.

When I got back in the dining hall, Teddy was nowhere to be found. I frowned, taking a few steps in and called, "Teddy?"

No one answered me, so I continued forward to the kitchen. Had he left? A strange relief filled me for a moment, but when I turned into the kitchen and ran into Teddy, the relief was squandered immediately.

His arms shot out to my waist to steady my teetering frame, and it was like we were outside at the camp games all over again. Teddy's eyes were dark and focused on my lips, but this time, instead of pulling away, he leaned in.

I was shocked when I felt his lips touch mine, too shocked to move for a moment. When my mind caught up with me, I pulled away and took a step away from him the rejection clear on his face.

"Teddy..." I say quietly, frowning at him.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry I just did that. I just..." My stomach clenches when I realize what he's about to say. "I like you, Amelia. I have since last summer. I just didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but fuck, I can't keep acting like I don't want to grab you and kiss you every time I see you." As his eyes leveled with mine, I could see that they were almost pleading me to respond similarly. "I just had to tell you in case..."

In case I felt the same way? My heart twisted uncomfortably because, well, I didn't.

I opened my mouth to speak, but words betrayed me. I shut it again and realization flashed across his face. He knew how I felt. Still, I tried again, but my words came out in a whisper. "Teddy, I love you, but just as a friend. I'm so sorry."

It was hardly the speech that I was planning on giving to him, which included me telling him that he would find a girl, one way better than me, and he would find happiness with her. I was going to let him down easy and hope to end the conversation with laughter to make things less tense between us. But when the words came out of my mouth, unrehearsed and blunt, I knew that it wouldn't go as planned.

It was the first time that I'd ever seen Teddy look so vulnerable and heartbroken, and I felt terrible that I caused it. The emotion in his eyes was too much that I had to lower my gaze to his cheek instead, unable to bear the pain that I was causing him. The silence that loomed between us was too much, the air much too thick with tension, that I finally opened my mouth again.

"Teddy, you're a great guy," I say quietly, meaningfully. "You're going to find a girl who loves you the way you deserve, I promise."

When I meet his gaze again, he gives me a sad smile. "But she's not you."

I return the sad smile, except mine was much smaller. "No, she isn't. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Teddy concedes, straightening up, his expression hardening. "You can't force someone to like you, you know? I just had to tell you how I feel."

I nod, unsure what to say, and he nods back at me. After a moment, Teddy takes a step backward, toward the door, and gives me another smile, his traces of sadness still clearly evident. I knew he was approaching a goodbye in the way he looked at me, like he had overstayed his welcome.

"Goodnight, Amelia," Teddy says quietly with a sense of finality.

"Goodnight, Teddy," I say in a whisper.

I watch him walk out of the dining hall, and before I know it, I'm slumped onto the ground, my back leaning against the wall. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, thinking about what just happened. In that moment, I really did wish that I liked Teddy like he liked me. He was an amazing guy, he's always been so kind to me, and I didn't doubt that he would be a great boyfriend.

But despite this, there was only one stupid, arrogant, confusing, guitar playing bad boy that I wanted. And maybe it was the realization of the situation with Teddy hitting me, making me realize that if he could man up and tell me how he felt about me, then I should be able to suck up my stubborn pride and talk to Carter. But when I reopened my eyes, I suddenly knew I had to do just that.

Unfortunately, I had a mess to clean first. Because of my little break talking to Teddy, and the fact that I've been working alone instead of in a pair all night, I barely got anything done. I finished as quickly as I could, but by the time I was done, it was almost eleven thirty at night. And, despite my previous confidence in talking to Carter, I decided that it would have to wait until tomorrow.

I laid in my bunk, denying Poppy's offer to go to Cabin 14, and instead lay back with my eyes wide open trying to fall asleep. The problem was that my mind was racing far too quickly for me to get an ounce of sleep. I lay in bed for who knows how long, listening to the quiet breaths of the other campers sleeping in their cabins, even awake when Poppy stumbled back to bed and as she fell asleep.

Eventually, I rolled over in bed and looked at my phone screen. 3:16 AM blinked back at me in bold white numbers. I decided that sleep wouldn't come anytime soon, so I crawled out of bed, threw on a sweatshirt and some slippers, and slipped out of the cabin. The moonlight was the only thing illuminating the pathway to the lake, and I followed it slowly, listening to the whistle of the wind and the silence among the camp.

When I reached the lake, I saw a silhouette of a person sitting on the log that Carter and I sat ourselves just last night, and for some reason, I just knew who it was. I knew that it couldn't be anyone else other than my stupid, arrogant, confusing, guitar playing bad boy, and when he turned around and the moonlight hit half his face, I knew I was right.

I stopped in my tracks a few feet away from him, instantly noticing the bags under his sleepy eyes. "Carter?"

He stared back at me for a moment before asking, "What are you doing here?"

His voice was deep and rough, like he hadn't spoken for awhile, but he didn't sound drunk. I took a few steps closer until I approached the log, then sat on the other end, sure that there was a comfortable amount of distance between us. Even in the darkness, I could feel his gaze burning a hole through me.

"I couldn't sleep," I admit quietly, then look back at him. "You?"

"Me neither," Carter says.

Silence falls between us, and its a regrettable kind of silence. There was so much that I wanted to say, and yet none of it was coming out. There were too many unsaid words hanging in the air, but neither of us made a move to voice them.

But for some reason, just sitting beside Carter lent me some kind of comfort. I felt my body relax for the first time all night, and even felt my eyelids become heavy with sleep. And even though there was so much I wanted to say to him, I slumped to the ground, leaned my back against the log, and felt myself drift off to sleep.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but when I woke up, it didn't bother me that I was waking up on the cold, hard ground for the second morning in a row, or that I was shivering from the cold. It only bothered me that I could hear Carter shouting in a pained voice.

"You shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have made you come," Carter murmurs, his voice thick with emotion.

I shoot up in my seat and let my eyes adjust to the early morning light, probably sometime around five in the morning, to find Carter. He was lying down on the ground a few feet away from me, his forehead matted with sweat, his brows pulled together and a pained expression on his face.

"No!" He pants in his sleep, his eyes screwed shut tightly. "I'm so sorry!"

My sleepiness is replaced with worry within a second, and I crawl over to Carter to rest my hands on his shoulder. "Wake up, Carter, it's just a dream."

I shake his arm a little and his eyes eventually shoot open, filled with panic and sadness. His eyes lock on mine as his chest heaves up and down quickly, and I sit above him in silence. When he becomes aware of his surroundings, he shutters, sitting up and taking his head in his hands.

I sit beside him cautiously, watching him with wide eyes. "Carter? Are you okay?"

When he doesn't answer me, I put my hand on his shoulder and leaned forward. Almost immediately, he turned and looked at me, and I could see the overflow of emotion in his eyes. Whatever dream- no, nightmare- he had clearly shook him up.

Without thinking, I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck, drawing him in close for a hug. Thankfully, he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me back equally as tightly, accepting my silent affection. Even through the material of both our shirts, I can feel how rapidly his heart beat in his chest.

"It was just a dream," I whisper in his ear, my head buried in the crook of his neck, hoping to console him. "It's okay."

I'm not even sure if he could hear my murmurs, as they were muffled by the skin on his neck, but judging by the slowing of his erratic heartbeat, I would say he was calming down. I held onto him still, my mind swimming with questions yet so focused on one thing: making sure Carter was okay.

"Thank you," I hear him murmur into my ear, his voice just as soft as mine.

After a few moments, I unwrap my arms from his neck and lean back to get a better look at him. Carter lets me crawl off his lap and sit beside him, so our backs were leaning against the logs. I was still close enough that his arms pressed against mine, and if I moved my hand just a little, it would be holding his.

"I don't know how you do it," Carter says quietly, almost like it was just meant for him to hear, but I barely caught it.

"Do what?" I ask, my voice just as quiet.

He turns his head to look at me, his eyes vibrant despite the bags under them. His gaze locked on mine, and I saw a pleading kind of desperation flash through them. "Calm me down. Nobody has ever been able to get me to calm down after a nightmare."

I feel my stomach shift at his words, like the weight of what he meant actually hit me, despite my lack of understanding.

"That nightmare," I start carefully, trying to understand. "You have it a lot?"

Hesitantly, Carter nodded. "Every night since my dad died." Again, he hesitates, like he's unsure whether or not to divulge the next piece of information. But I nudge his shoulder with mine and look at him expectantly, and Carter reveals, "Except for two nights ago, when we slept out here together."

Again, my stomach shifts in a weird way. He had nightmares every night, but for some reason, I was able to calm him down. My heart hurt for Carter for having these nightmares, and slowly, things started to piece together. Why he was always up so early and so late, why he always looked so wiped when he was awake. Carter clearly didn't feel comfortable sleeping, especially not in a cabin full of other people.