《I'm Alive (Sanders Sides AU)》Emotion
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Tuesday
I wake up to Pink Floyd still playing in my earbuds. It was now Tuesday, and it was time to face the day. I get up and proceed to do my normal morning routine. I pull a clean black polo and blue tie out from my closet like always, and put on my khaki pants.
I go into my bathroom and take out some hair gel and slick my hair back. I like when things are in order and neat, and my hair is no exception. Once it was in a style I was satisfied with, I put the gel away and got my school supplies together.
Going downstairs, it was the same routine as yesterday. I made myself a quick breakfast, said goodbye to my mother, ignored my father the best I could, and I was out the door.
Walking down the stairs of my house to the bus, I heard someone shout from behind me.
"Logan!"
I whipped my head around to see that Patton was exiting the home next to mine and running to catch up to me. I could only stare in awe. He had new glasses and the softest looking hair I've ever seen. He was wearing the same khaki pants, but his shirt was slightly more modern.
His beauty distracted me from the realization that I was his next door neighbor.
His eyes were still the beautiful blue I'd first laid eyes on, though. No doubt this was the "love" feeling everyone goes on about. I bit back a smile.
"Goodmorning, Patton. Did you sleep alright?"
He nodded. "Yep!"
I tried to subtly address the sudden sadness from Patton yesterday as we began walking.
"So..are you ok?"
He smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"But I thought-"
"Remy took me to the mall yesterday since I missed the bus."
"That's nice, but-"
"And he got me my new glasses so I don't have to use my dad's old ones!"
"Alright, that is cool, but-"
"He got me new clothes too! That's where I got this shirt from. Wasn't that sweet of him?"
Was he trying to tell me that he liked Remy?
"I suppose that is sweet, but-"
We arrived at the bus stop.
"Oh! Hold that thought, Logan. I've got to go say hi to everyone!"
Before I could even try to stop him, he was already off. Just like yesterday morning, he walked around to everyone to say hi and talk a bit. So kind, yet I wasn't letting him get off that easy. I wanted to know why he had run away from the kitchen yesterday. I..I started to feel..guilty.
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Was it somehow my fault?
Had I done something wrong?
Did I force him to kiss me?
Did he even want to kiss me?
Had I...had I misinterpreted the entire situation altogether?
The guilt and anxiety was building up. This was my childhood all over again, and it was starting to frustrate me. I'd been so distracted with Patton, I'd forgotten about the deal I made with myself that day.
No more feelings. They only get in the way.
...
Still, the guilt was there. The irrational fear that this was somehow my fault and that I had caused this. I tried to be logical and "logic my way out of it" if you will, but my brain wasn't listening.
I was going haywire.
In my mind, at least.
To everyone else, I was wearing the same emotionless face they always get to see and deal with.
Even as Patton walked over to me smiling, he didn't even get a suspicion that I was at war with myself. All because I loved him. All because of this..emotion.
"Anyway, you wanted to ask me something?"
"I..I just wanted to know if you wanted to sit on the bus with me."
"Oh!"
"Unless you have another friend you would rather sit with, of course."
"No, no! I'd love to sit with you!"he was beaming, clearly happy I had asked.
"Alright then, this will be..."
Satisfactory
"Satisfactory?" Patton asked, smiling. He already knew my answer.
I nodded. "I suppose."
I could hear the bus screech from down the street. As the bus came to a stop, people started boarding.
I don't even think Patton had realized, but he gently grabbed my hand as he climbed in the bus, leading me after him.
We managed to get one of the seats in the very back of the bus. I always enjoyed sitting in the back. Looking out the back door was always calming after a long day.
Patton let me take the outside and he sat on inside of the seat.
He was still holding my hand.
His hand was small in mine, but softer and more gentle. He was adorable.
No amount of frustration could stop me from seeing that now.
He yawned. I looked over at him.
"Are you sure you got enough sleep?"
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He nodded. "More than I've gotten in a while."
"How many hours?"
"Six. I usually get five or four."
"Patton, that is nowhere near the recommended eight hours of sleep."
"Only by two hours!"
I sighed. "Those two hours can do much more good than you think."
He yawned again. "I'm not even that tired, though."
I rolled my eyes.
"Sure you aren't."
Suddenly, he relaxed a bit and rested his head on my shoulder. His silk-like hair brushed against my neck.
"Patton?"
He yawned. "Hm..?"
His voice was quieter now, probably now realizing he was exhausted.
I smiled a bit.
"Just try and get some extra rest. I'll wake you when we get to school."
"Mhm.."
He almost immediately fell asleep. His breathing slowed and his body went limp. I put my arm around him to make sure he didn't fall off the seat.
And we stayed like that for the rest of the bus ride. Patton was asleep on my shoulder while my arm was around him, holding him in place.
———
"Patton, we're at school." Logan said softly in my ear.
I looked around, a bit confused. For a second I had to remind myself that I'm on the bus. I am just where I left off before I fell asleep; in Logan's arms. Honestly the fact that I was in his arms made me really happy, but I didn't say anything.
Besides, I'm always happy when I'm with him. That being said, I was really tired and decided to mess with him a bit before we got off of the old bus.
"But I don't wanna get up." I whined.
"'Want to' and yes you do. It's time to acquire knowledge."
"Sounds boring."
"I will carry you off this bus if I have to."
"No you wouldn't."
He fixed his glasses and looked at me. "You assume that I am bluffing?"
I nodded. There's no way he would actually—
"Logan!" I gasped as he swooped me off of the seat without an effort and carried me bridal style.
"Put me down!" I giggled.
"You had your chance to get up. It's too late now."
He carried me off the bus with little effort, regardless of all my attempts to break free. He walked off the bus calmly while I was laughing.
People were looking over at us now, but he didn't care. And neither did I. Well not until—
"Oh Patton, darling!"
We both looked over and Remy was walking over in his leather jacket, sunglasses, and a Starbucks latte in his hand.
Logan quickly put me down and adjusted his glasses. I blushed a bit.
"Hey, Remy!"
Remy looked over at Logan up and down.
"So who's this tall glass of water?"
Logan looked confused. Probably took that too literal.
"This is Logan."
Remy raised his eye brows and smirked. "So this is the one I've been hearing all about?"
This caused Logan to look even more confused. He looked at me and I could feel the heat rising to my face.
"Have you been treating my Patton well?"
Logan and Remy looked at each other almost eye to eye. Logan was maybe two or three inches taller than him.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have." Logan replied.
Remy smiled, and turned to me. "I can see why you like him."
"Would someone like to fill me in?" Logan said, looking back and forth between me and Remy.
"Oh, right. Logan, this is--"
"I'm Remy, darling. A pleasure to meet you. I'm one of Patton's good friends."
"Oh, he mentioned you this morning, talking about how nice you were to him."
Remy smiled. "Well, he's kind to everyone else, so I figured he deserved some kindness in return."
"You and I can both agree on that." Logan said, smiling a bit.
Remy turned as one of his friends called his name.
"Valierie! Ohmygod, girl. What are you wearing?" He turned to face us. "Sorry, ladies. Fashion EMERGENCY."
Remy turned to leave, but he stopped and whispered something in my ear.
"Don't hurt him again."
I looked at him, confused. "What?"
But he was already walking away. "Ciao, my otp!"
Logan turned to me. "What is an 'otp?'"
"I have no idea." I lied.
"Well then. He sure was..flamboyant."
"Yeah. He's really nice!"
"I can tell."
We walked together into school until we had to part ways to find our lockers. I turned to face Logan. "I'll see you later, ok?"
He nodded. "Indeed. See you soon."
I gave him a hug before I ran off.
------
(Sorry it's a bit shorter. Still, hope you enjoyed! -Manzana)
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