Patton's p.o.v.

Monday

I felt awful. After sitting in the cold rain for a while, I came down with a nasty cold. It wasn't that fun if I'm honest. After a while I forced myself to stand up and make my way home.

The rain was still pouring down. It had been all day. Kinda matched my mood, I guess. Though I never really liked the rain.

My house was a long walk. I like driving, but I'm not too good at it yet. My dad doesn't want me driving in rainy weather. It was a while after school had ended, even the activity bus had already left.

I tried texting Roman, to see if he'd be able to come and get me.

Patton: Hey, Ro! You there? 👋

Patton: I just kinda need a little favor.

Five minutes went by. I wondered if he was going to answer.

Patton: Roman?

I guess not..

Patton: Oh, nevermind my mom helped me out. Thanks though, bye! 😸

I put my phone back in my pocket. I don't want to bother Roman anyways.

I begin walking on the curb, shivering as I walk through the parking lot. I went over everything that had happened today. I got up, met Logan, gave him a tour, developed just a tiny crush on him, lied to him, baked with him, kissed him, and then..ran away from him.

I know it was stupid of me to even kiss him in the first place. I've barely known him for a day. Somehow, though, I feel like I've known him my whole life.

But it's wrong. I was always told it was wrong. Logan and I? The way I felt towards Logan? I should be ashamed.

The funny thing is that I still like him. I can't help it.

"Patton, darling!"

I turned to see one of my friends approach me. We weren't too close, but I enjoyed his company nonetheless. I smiled.

"Remy!"

He walked (more like strutted) over to me, holding an umbrella in one hand and a Starbucks coffee in the other.

"What are you doing in the pouring rain, dear? You've probably already caught a cold."

Remy really was a nice guy. I don't really know why I've never gotten to know him better. All the guys swoon over him and all the girls want to be friends with him. He's told me that they're all "fake b*tches" And he doesn't deal with them. So I guess it's a compliment that he lets me stick around.

"I just missed the bus. Lost track of the time, I guess."

He took off his sunglasses (he always wore them. Even when he didn't have to).

"Do you need a ride, sunshine?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to bother him. "I'll be ok, it's not that far to my house anyways."

He looked at me, not at all convinced.

"Honey, don't pull that bull shit card with me. You can fool everyone else, but not this queen."

I sighed. "Alright, ya got me. But I don't think you really wanna go through the trouble of driving me home."

"Oh, honey. Hush now and follow me. Or, ya know. Walk home." He said as he began strutting back to his car. He turned back at me as he opened the passenger door.

I thought for a moment. Eventually giving up, I ran towards his car and hopped in. He smiled.

"Knew you'd make the right choice."

He shut the door and walked around to the other side. Climbing into the drivers seat, he started the car and drove out of the parking lot.

We drove for a few minutes till I asked, "So..do you need directions?"

"Oh. About that, darling. I'm not actually taking you home just yet."

My heart dropped. Then where was he—

"And calm down, sunshine. I'm taking you to the mall. You look like you need a splurge and I'm always in the mood for one."

I relaxed a bit.

"But I don't have any money."

We stopped at a red light. He looked over at me, smiling.

"Money's never been an issue, dear. Don't worry."

"But I don't want to—"

"You're not a burden, I want to do this."

He totally just read my mind.

"I've thought that all before, sweetie. You need to learn to love yourself."

I shrugged and looked out the window, watching as the trees went by. Remy offered me a tissue to clean my glasses as well. We mostly enjoyed our car ride in silence. Finally, we reached the mall. Remy parked the car and got out. By that time it stopped raining, so I followed him inside.

"The mall closes at 7:00 and it's 3:30 right now, so that gives me plenty of time to work my magic."

"Work your magic?"

He smiled at me as he put his sunglasses back on. "Honey, I love you, but we have a lot of work to do."

First he took me to the hair salon. He talked a lot of fancy gibberish to the hair dresser. She seemed to understand though, and began working. Remy was watching closely, telling the hair dresser what needed changed and what didn't.

The nice lady washed my hair, combed it, cut it a bit, styled it, dried it, and straightened it. I looked at myself in the mirror after she was done.

My hair wasn't too different, but it was more neat. Roman would say it looks good without it seeming like I tried to hard. My hair also looked healthier. Usually my dad takes me to barber shops where they don't do much, but here they took time and effort into my hair.

I rather liked it.

Then Remy got me glasses that were circles rather than the plain square ones my dad gave me as a hand-me-down. He was even nice enough to get me my own prescription. I asked him how expensive they were, and if I could pay him back.

He wasn't hearing any of it. He shook his head.

"Honey, I'm rich. I can spend as much money as I want. I'd rather spend it on making someone a little happier than just on myself."

"But-"

"And yeah, I know money doesn't buy happiness in the long run, but sometimes a shopping break is just what the doctor ordered. Now shush and let's go find you some clothes!"

Before I could argue with him, he grabbed my arm and dragged me to a clothing store.

"Now what you usually wear is passable, I guess. But I'm going to get you a suit and a few outfits that are for more special occasions. You can choose which occasions you wear them for."

I nodded. He picked out outfit after outfit and had me try them all on. I felt like a model.

I tried on overalls, and jackets, and jeans, and suits, and shoes. I pretended to be a famous snobby person, which sent Remy into a giggling fit (and me too).

He bought all of the outfits for me and still didn't let me see the price. I felt so guilty, but he didn't seem to mind at all.

Around 6:30 we headed to the food court to grab something to eat before we went home. I insisted on paying for dinner at least, which he let me.

I got an Italian hoagie from Subway and he got Chinese food. We sat at a table and began eating.

"So. Why were you really out in the rain by yourself?" Remy asked suddenly, eating a small piece of chicken.

I was taken aback at his bluntness. I was a bit reluctant to tell him, and I guess it showed because he replied with,

"I won't tell anyone, you know. That's thing one and thing two's job."

"Who?"

He sighed. "Deceit and Remus. God, everyone is so afraid of them. But I run with a different crowd, honey. So promise me when I say my lips are sealed."

I was quiet for a moment longer, but then I gave in. There was something trustworthy about Remy.

"So, I know it's only the first day back, but..I met this new kid.."

"Oooh, spill. What's her name?"

"Uh, well..the thing is, his name is Logan."

Remy's eyes widened as he smiled. "You're gay?"

"I don't know!" I whisper yelled.

"Tell. Me. Everything."

I sighed.

"He's really serious, but he's nice to me and he's smart and sometimes funny and he is really..handsome? I don't know!"

Remy squealed. "Ohmygod! Wait, but what does that have to do with you being upset?"

"I-"

"Is he straight? Honey, I can't tell you how many time's that's happened-"

"No, no. I just. Well, we were baking during lunch today-"

"Oooh, romantic!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "And I uh..I kissed him."

Remy squealed again. "Ohmygodohmygod!!"

"But my dad's really homophobic and I was taught that it's disgusting and I don't want to disappoint him by..being gay?"

Remy went silent.

"I know it's not a bad thing to be, I just...well he is trying hard to give me a good life. Making me study to become a neuroscientistw-"

"A what?"

"Someone who studies the brain."

"Sounds boring."

"It is, but he knows it pays well so he is making me. He's doing a lot for me, and I should be happy and repay him, I guess."

Remy put his hand on mine, looking at me.

"Listen to me, honey. That isn't your dad being generous. That's forcing you to live a life that's not your choice. What do you want to do as a career?"

"I..I guess I want to be a writing teacher? I've always loved kids and writing."

"Then that's what you should do. I'll be damned if my dad forced me to be a brain scientist whatever."

"I guess-"

"Well I know. Don't let him force you to live a life that he wants for you. If it isn't what you want, it's bullshit. And that whole homophobic crap? Absolutely ridiculous."

I looked down.

"Patton. Look up at me. Listen to me."

I forced myself to meet his gaze.

"You don't owe him anything but just to be yourself. If he can't be proud and accept it then he isn't really a good dad."

It sounded simple, but I still wasn't convinced. He clearly saw that I wasn't, and sighed.

"Honey, I know that just my lecture isn't going to magically fix everything. But if you need to talk or anything, I'm here for you, girl. Cause do you think I'm going to let you be sad? No ma'am. No ma'am!"

I laughed. Satisfied that he'd made me smile, we finished our food. The mall was about to close, so we took the bags full of clothes and went out to his car.

We put the bags in the back and then we climbed into the front seat.

On the way home, Remy picked up his phone and looked up a song.

"I think this song is fitting. Just listen, ok?"

"Ok!"

He hit play.

"I don't wanna hear you've got a boyfriend

Sometimes you're better off alone

But if you change your mind,

you know where I am

Yeah if you change your mind,

you know where to find me

'Cause I don't ever wanna be

your boyfriend

And never did I think that I

Would be caught in the way you got me

Push another girl aside and just give in

Girls love girls and boys

Girls love girls and boys

And never did I think that I

Would be caught in the way you got me

But girls love girls and boys

And love is not a choice!"

"And love is not a choice!" Remy sang along, looking at me smiling.

I smiled back at him. The lyrics were somewhat confusing, but I think I got it.

"Pose, you've gotta save your reputation

They're close to finding out about your girlfriend

But if you change your mind,

you know where I am

Yeah if you change your mind,

you know where to find me

'Cause I don't wanna save your reputation

And never did I think that I

Would be caught in the way you got me

Push another girl aside and just give in"

Remy was belting along with the male singer at the chorus. I laughed and sang along at the few parts I knew.

"Girls love girls and boys

Girls love girls and boys

And never did I think that I

Would be caught in the way you got me

But girls love girls and boys

And love is not a choice

I am just a villain vying for attention

From a girl

A girl who can't decide and here's the reason why

Girls love girls and boys

Girls love girls and boys

Girls love girls and boys

Girls love girls and boys

And never did I think that I

Would be caught in the way you got me

But girls love girls and boys

And love is not a choice!"

I was beaming by the end of the song. The kindness that Remy showed to me today was amazing and just the thing I needed right now.

We pulled up into my driveway and I thanked him for everything.

"Don't mention it, darling. And remember, if you need anyone, call me up. You got that?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

"Good. Now let's bring your stuff inside."

We got out of the car and brought all my bags up to my room. Dad didn't get home until 8:00, so it gave me time to put everything away.

I walked Remy back downstairs. Before he left, he talked with me a bit more.

"Now regarding your hair. Don't wash it tonight. It'll still be straight and adorable by tomorrow if you just leave it. Take good care of the glasses and always put them in a case when you go to sleep."

"Ok!"

"And Patton?"

"Yeah?"

"You're an amazing person. Don't let your dad or anyone else tell you different."

He opened the door. Halfway out, he stopped and turned to me.

"And good luck with Logan!"

I smiled. "See you tomorrow, Remy!"

"See you tomorrow, honey!"

He left, shutting the door behind him.

I went up to my room and sat on my bed, smiling.

Taking out my journal out of my backpack, I began writing.

And for once, I didn't feel guilty

Didn't feel sad

Didn't feel empty

I was happy. I let the words flow out onto the paper.

My dad came home, but didn't come up to my room. Which might've been a good thing, I guess.

I was writing and writing all night 'till my hand hurt and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Taking my glasses off, I put on my pj's and climbed under my covers.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

___