I cleared my throat and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

"My... My name's Saga," I said with a shaky voice. "And... And I thought I'd clear something up... For everybody."

I looked up and met the looks of hundreds of people. We were all gathered in the hangar, the highest point in the bunker and the only room big enough for all of us.

"We're at war. A war I started. Or well... A war Eri and I started." I started telling the story as best as I could. My voice grew stronger and stronger, the further I got in the story. I started from the beginning. The very beginning.

I told them how I had met Hiromi, and how I was already eating souls before I met her. How she changed me and how I ended up stealing the recipe for immortality for her. I told them about Big Daddy imprisoning her and forcing me back to guiding souls. How I would eat them all instead of guiding them back to Paradise. And then how I destroyed a large portion of Asia and freeing a lot of halfs from Purgatory. I told them about how I met Seth, but how that was a set-up too. I told them everything, and I felt completely drained after.

"There is nothing Eri wants more in this world than for everybody to submit to him completely. We're all here, because we don't want that." I ended my speech and stood in front of them feeling naked. I might as well have been. I didn't tell them about the part where I tried to off myself, or where I moved back into Eri's house completely letting him take over my life again.

And nobody was saying anything. It was dead quiet.

"Questions?" I asked, unsure of what to say next.

"Is he still in your head?" somebody from the back yelled.

"Yes, but the ward Eyrie and Ado made keeps him from taking over. We can talk to each other, but I am in control of the connection," I replied glancing down at Ado for backup. He just shrugged and flashed a wry grin. He was loving seeing me squirming on stage. "I am not a threat to you. If that's was what you were wondering about."

"What are our chances of actually winning?" a dark haired, tall woman asked.

"Good. We have pretty much all the angels. When we find them and a lot of the younger gods."

"And we have you," Gareth said from the front row.

"Yeah..." I said and bit down on my lip. I looked back at the gathering.

"What do you hope to gain out of this?" the dark haired one asked again.

"Honestly?" I asked. She nodded. "I just want to be left alone."

"Then who's going to take charge of Paradise after Eri?" somebody else yelled out.

"It sure as hell ain't gonna be me," I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Then who?"

"I don't really care." I threw my arms out to the sides. "I am just here to put an end Eri's terror, and then I am out."

"So who's to say somebody like Eri won't take over after you just kill him and then leave the mess for somebody else to clean?"

"Because there is no one like Eri!" I yelled back clenching my fists. "He was the first to be made, so right now he is literally the oldest being alive! Half the stuff walking around here? He made it. And he is utterly insane. He is half the reason you all exist, and you expect me to take over after him? I haven't made a single thing." Except for love apparently, but I wasn't going to say that right now. "I am the youngest of the gods, and I think we can all agree, I don't really show any great leading potential. You don't want me leading you. Especially not after the shit I've done."

Seth jumped up on the podium and turned his back to the gathering. "I think they get your point, Saga," he said quietly and squeezed my arm.

"This was a mistake. Nobody is interested in the truth," I shot back.

"They're scared."

"Good!" I said loud enough for the others to hear. "They should be scared! I'm scared! Eri is a fucking ruthless maniac and he won't let anything or anyone stand in his way to power."

"Saga, enough," he said in that way that meant I had gone too far. And I knew I had. I was supposed to try and get them pumped for the war, and here I was making everything worse.

Seth looked over his shoulder, and I think he finally noticed how many people were staring at us.

"Listen," he started and looked around. "We really haven't thought very far ahead, mainly because we haven't had the time. Things have been falling apart for a very long time, and I didn't honestly think, we would ever make it this far. Or even make it out of Paradise. Yet here we are. What happens after, is something we'll have to think about after."

"And who are you?" someone in the crowd yelled.

"He's the only one who makes any goddamn sense here, so shut the fuck up!" Myrina screamed with a high-pitched voice. "Are you all so wrapped up in your futures, you can't see what's right in front of you?" She stomped up on the podium and stood next to Seth.

"If you don't know any of these guys by now, you've been buried in a goddamn hole and you need to get your head out of your asses. Nobody knows what is going to happen after we kill the king asshole! And why the fuck do you care right now? Keep your goddamn eyes on the mission at hand, soldiers. We do not need distractions." She took a deep breath and placed her hands on her hips. "This was about you guys knowing the truth. You know the truth now, so the meeting is adjourned."

Seth grabbed my arm and hauled me off the podium and out of the hangar, before everybody else started to move. We ended up in an empty corridor and I pulled my arm out of his grasp.

"Saga, what you said in there."

"I don't need you to lecture me right now, Seth."

"No? And I don't need you to be so damn angry all the time."

"Then I have some bad news for you buddy," I said and scowled. He cocked his head to the side and shot me an 'are you kidding me?' look. I rubbed my eyes and muttered "sorry". I leaned my back against the wall and took a deep breath. He stepped in front of me and put his palm to my cheek.

"Saga," he murmured softly. "What's bothering you?"

I should have let you go all the way. I cringed at the memory of his gruff voice. "Nothing," I said and bit down hard on my lip.

"You're still a terrible liar." He pulled me into his arms, and I rested my forehead on his shoulder. "Amor, you know you can tell me."

"I don't want you to know..." I whispered. "Please don't make me..."

He pulled away and put his hands on my shoulders. "Saga, I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."

I slowly nodded. "Can we just go back to the room?"

"Sure." He laced his fingers with mine and we walked back to our little safe-haven.

I jerked awake in the middle of the night, short of breath. I looked over at the body next to me and to my surprise Saga was female. She had been male for a while now, which was odd. She used to shift several times a day, but now she apparently only shifted during the night. She turned her head and immediately shifted to male.

"Did I wake you?" he asked quietly.

"No," I murmured hoarsely and smiled tiredly. He lifted his arm and I dipped in under it, resting my cheek on his chest. He pressed his lips down on the top of my head.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"I think so," I panted and clenched him closer.

"Go back to sleep, babe," he murmured and started moving his fingers over my arm, shoulder and then my back. I repositioned so he could go down further on my back. I closed my eyes and sighed.

He stopped after a while, but I knew he wasn't sleeping. We were both just lying there without talking for a couple of hours until he sighed and wiggled his hips. He shifted back to female under me. I kept my head on her chest and just followed the rise and fall of it with my eyes.

"Why are you never like this anymore?" I asked softly. Her entire body jumped and tensed up, and then she shifted back again.

"Sorry, I thought you were asleep."

I raised myself up on my elbow and looked at him. "What are you apologising for?"

"N-nothing. Sorry, I haven't slept for a couple of weeks. Scrambles my brain." He pushed himself up in a sitting position and pressed his knuckles to his eyes. I stayed where I was, popping a hand under my chin.

"Do I need to say it?"

He looked over his hands. "No. I know. Horrible liar."

"Just say, you don't want to talk about it, and I'll stop."

"I don't want to talk about it."

I smiled and nodded. I wrapped my arms around his waist and settled down on his stomach.

"You're letting me off that easy?"

"I told you, I am not making you say or do anything you don't want to." I didn't get, why he had such a hard time understanding that. We had a history of pressing and pushing each other sure, but I was trying to change that. He would tell me when he was ready. I was done with major meltdowns after massive fights. If it was important for me to know, he would tell me.

"I want to tell you, but I don't want you to know," he said with so much pain. I sat up.

"Whatever it is, Saga, I will still love you. You can tell me now, but you don't have to."

He bit down on his lip and pulled his knees up to his chest. "I really don't want you to know," he whimpered, circling his arms around his legs.

He cringed and started scratching the tattoo on his wrist, quickly moving on to the one on his throat. I wrapped my fingers around his wrists and stopped him. He flicked his golden eyes up and met my gaze.

"I don't want you to know, Seth." His eyes filled with tears and I pulled him into my arms.

"You don't have to say anything," I murmured, running my hand over his head. He took a deep breath and pulled himself out of my arms. He grabbed my neck and pulled me to him and kissed me. He rose to his knees, pulled his shirt over his head and sat down in my lap.

"Please touch me," he begged.

I slowly ran my hands up his thighs, over his hips and around his waist. He dug his fingers into my shoulders and inhaled sharply.

We had both done this before. Used sex as some form of recovery. It usually didn't work out very well in the long run, but if I could linger some of his pain right now just by touching him, I would never stop. He just knew, why I had needed him to be close to me, and right now he was leaving me in the dark. Honestly, it was fine if he didn't want to talk about it... Well, no it wasn't, obviously. I wanted to know what was wrong because when there was something wrong with him, something extremely terrible would usually follow. The last time, he had taken out Buenos Aires because I didn't talk to him.

"Saga, stop," I said softly.

"I fucking knew it!" he yelled and dropped down on his back.

"I can't. Not after everything," I tried to explain.

"I don't want you to know," he groaned and folded his arms over his chest.

"Just tell me one thing..."

He groaned again and pushed himself up on his elbows, so he could look at me.

"Is this... Is this like Buenos Aires?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

His douchey attitude disappeared. "You're actually serious, aren't you?"

I didn't answer him but just held his gaze.

His eyes didn't flicker for a second. "No. This is not like Buenos Aires."

He wasn't lying. I loudly blew out the air I was holding in.

"I told you I wasn't damaged," he said flatly.

"How am I supposed to know what's going on, Saga? This is the first time you haven't cursed at me for three consecutive sentences." I threw my arms out to the sides feeling incredibly frustrated. "I want to help you-"

"You can't fucking help me all the fucking time Seth! Get it through your thick fucking head! This has nothing to do with you," he growled and sat up leaning in close.

"You can't blame me for asking," I said calmly, not letting him rile me up.

"Why? Because oh no, Saga's not a happy cuddly god right now, so he must be getting ready to go out and maul a fucking capital again?" He leaned even closer, pulling his lips back in a snarl.

"Do you hear yourself?" I didn't budge, but just tipped my head a bit to the side.

"Fuck you, Seth," he hissed and spat me in the face. He leaned back a bit and looked a bit startled by his own action.