wednesday; still summer break

2:14 pm

my fuse is so goddamn short now.

i know for a fact i'm going to kill myself now. yk bc existence is pain amirite lol.

ok but on a serious note i'm so tired, and i know that i say that all the time but it's true.

i'm just, well,

tired.

yk for a while i gave up writing in (/on ¿) this. i would think abt it and be embarrassed abt how angry and bratty i was being about such trivial things, like wow your family talked to you behind your back ?, how tragic, you sure as hell should know that that's just how filipino family's are judgmental and try to make jokes out of other people's insecurities and believe that if you complain you can take a joke or some bs idfk but who am i to complain is just like that too. or even something else like, hey you don't feel a connection to anyone ? oh no your suffering so much ahahah if i could talk to myself at that point i'd probably say to go fuck yourself. wow.

i've become such a wreck.

there's so much that happened before that last entry that i wanted to remain unsaid bc i knew they weren't worth mentioning and now that i think about it i know i should have a bit to late now though oh well i guess the only details will be known by those who were there, of course that means no one will truly read abt my thoughts on certain situations but sometimes mystery is good, a lot of the time it's best to leave thing up to he imagination. who knows if this is a good example of that, lol probably not but hey it's my decision so fuck off.

idk it's probably bc i'm lazy but i truly cannot quite describe events throughly through words. it's impossible to know someone's true feelings and thoughts so maybe that's why.

damn this shit sounds so attention seeking and immature no matter how hard i try to grow up.

i'm tired.