•••••••••

The rays of the mellow moonlight were shining in through the window, reflecting off the glass and on my skin as I watched. There were little squeals of birds that I could hear from the lonely trees. Other than them, I heard my own heartbeat, not sure how I was able to cope with it's unsteadiness.

I didn't trust him. Not even a single bit. A man like him could only know how to destroy, to play with other's lives. And now, he wanted to use mine to fulfil his purpose. I failed to decide if I was betraying the law, my upbringing or plainly myself. But what choice did I have? Either I risked it once and for all or I die. And it would be pleasant dying anywhere BUT on his ground!

I learned that retaliation doesn't stress them enough as much as the opposite does. His words continuously repeated themselves in my mind...

"I.. should've known..," I let down the vase on the floor in devastation.

He almost smiled with the edge of his lips then stopped at my gesture.

"And what made you think I was after you?" He asked me, still standing where he was.

I wanted to answer him but I didn't.

"You're here because of your own doings so mind yourself! I am not used to handling attitudes like yours everyday-"

"Then don't." I cut him off, having no idea why I said what I said.

His expressions went from calm to enraged.

Saba was at the door behind me and she immediately came in and pulled on my arm.

"I'm not going anywhere and I'm not afraid of you. You hear me???" I shouted at him, releasing myself from her which pushed me a few steps closer to him.

"You really want to talk..?" His hand closed into a fist which he hid behind.

I said that I wasn't afraid but looking at him trying to regulate his urge to be severe with me was terrifying.

"Saba... sit." He pointed her towards a chair. She left me and did as he told her.

"Say what you want."

"I have already said it."

"Killing you is too easy, you're going to live. Try something else."

I couldn't bear but beam the anger through my eyes. I wanted to throw something at him. Literally. Anything to make him feel pain. But right now, he was doing that to me.

Saba's expressions were mixed. She looked secure from a side and then shook her head at me in worry, trying to tell me to not say anything more.

"Bhai aap ne bulaya..." Ali walked in, shocked to see me there.

"Ye mohtarma Ismail ko halaak kerne k iradey rakhti hain." He put his hands in his pocket.

Ali walked past me and beside him with a grin on his face. I realized that was supposed to be a joke. My blood boiled.

"Let me go... please..." My voice now broke in my helplessness. His face became serious.

"I will... upon a condition."

"What..?" I was discomposed.

"You have to do what I say."

I had a bad feeling instantly. What if he asks me to.... I felt weak even thinking about it. My chastity was way more important to me than the freedom of this life!

"No. I am not asking you to give yourself." He said to me.

I let out a breath. Strange for a fact that he read me every time, precisely.

"What do I have to do?" I asked.

"A Nikah."

He said something I never expected. Saba turned to look at him in confusion. Surprisingly enough, Ali also seemed quite unsure.

"WHAT?" I was about to actually lose it this time.

"You heard what you heard," He replied.

"And I refuse Mr. Ism- whoever you are."

He raised an eyebrow. I'm sure he felt insulted and that's exactly what I wanted to do.

"This is the problem of yours! You have to pretend a nikah in front of the court. To me."

"Why?"

"That is the least of your problems..."

"And how can I believe you'll let me go after that?"

"My word."

Ali took out a cigarette from his pocket and extended it to Ismail, wanting to calm him down but he shook his head. So he lit it for himself instead.

"Ask Saba to stay with her. She's harder than I thought," Ismail said to him.

"I told you so." Ali took a drag.

"Doesn't make a difference to me anyways.."

"I see... may I ask where this self-control that I witnessed a few minutes ago came from?"

Ismail looked at Ali. It didn't trigger him but he wanted a more clear meaning to what was said.

"I meant.. you never showed this much resilience to when Rehana.." He was saying.

"Watch what you're comparing Ali," He cut him off strictly and turned around.

Ali stood waiting for him to speak again but he didn't.

"What am I comparing bhai?" He finally asked, unable to hold back.

"The soil with dirt!" He said without giving it a single thought.

Ali was taken aback for a moment. Then he remembered he was talking to someone whose life embedded conscience into him. And once again, he was right.

"Why do you need her to carry out this plan?"

"To prove my indefinite identity to the state."

"Reason being?"

"I'm sure Ejaz has some sort of a force which is currently digging up footsteps. This is going to be a backup. I couldn't have used any other woman for this, she has no chance of being involved with us so it'll be as authentic as we can get," Ismail informed him.

"Her name will be registered at the court though..." Ali pointed.

"Her name, along with my name... That IS the biggest confirmation for me, being a public figure in case the military gets involved. They'll automatically perceive me as someone who got married with a real identity, leaving no traces for who Ismail actually is. The contract is going to be switched with a fake document, handled by one of our own men."

"Yaani ek teer se do shikaar..?" Ali smiled, quite impressed, probably like the 70th time in his life.

"Sahi samjhe." Ismail sat on the couch, tilting his neck behind.

"This will lead us towards Ejaz Lugari easily while pushing him 4 steps behind. On top of that, a second hand security through the government from this so called 'nikah'. Damn!" Ali applauded.

"But.. question.." He remembered something.

Ismail moved his head to the right, letting him say.

"Will you let the girl go after or...kill her?" He was curious.

Ismail was silent for a few seconds, then sat up straight, looking at the ground.

"Be-gunahon ka mujrim Ismail na kabhi tha aur na kabhi hoga!"

••••• ••••• •••••

Noor watched inside the car as they poured petals over Minahil's grave. She was pulled back in with Iqra. She had cried so much that it felt like life was never happy. Ever. It was like this and it had been like this.

Every time she would think that she's displeasing Allah by being ungrateful to him. If He took away Minahil, He could take away her sister; that was the only reason she feared to face Him. To ask from him. But death was to befall every single soul. Still us humans tend to ask for ours first before our loved ones, just to feel enclosed.

Since the news broke, everyone acted like they were ok and that there was still hope. But deep inside, they were all lying to each other.

They were leaving the graveyard behind as the car moved forward. Noor's eyes were stuck to that one pile of earth, calling out loudly that she was once where Zaina was and now she was beneath the ground yet no one knew where Zaina was.

"Beta.. how long are you going to stay this way?" Saima asked Hassan who just disconnected a call.

"Mom, I have answered this numerous times!" He said without looking.

"There is a limit to everything Hassan! I get it that she was your cousin..."

"Cousin?" He paused.

"I am your mother. When I say you are no longer associated with her then why don't you listen? I can't watch you invest yourself day and night into this. There are authorities doing their work!" She wasn't having it.

"I know. But will that take away how I feel?"

"Then change yourself. You have a life ahead of you. You can get any girl you want."

"But I want her mom!! And I'm sorry I can't change that..."

"It's almost been a month, even if she does return-"

"Please. Not today, I request you." He cut her off and left the room.

"Kis tarah utarun mai iss ka bhoot ya khudaya?..." She sighed.

Passing hours looking at luminescent walls and huge windows all day long was difficult. She was now familiar with this much of a distance outside her room till a point that she never crossed. Told that she could go anywhere in the house except the top floor and out the main gate, no one would stop her.

Zaina walked down a wide path that she hadn't seen before. There was no one there but slow echoes of talk could be heard from some corners. As she was moving slowly into one of the passages, a chilly wind went past her. It was oddly calming and it pulled her in its direction.

The light blue sky presented itself immediately when she stepped onto a deck with a few stairs. This was probably the edge of the building where there was a pond of water. She felt like she could breathe again. The pillars were surrounded by chiffon curtains and lights radiated from the ground.

She ran towards the shallow water, stepping into it with her bare feet. For a moment, she forgot whose place this was. It was just like a fascination of hers.

"There you are. I was looking for you..," She was interrupted by Saba's dulcet voice, minutes later.

She came and sat beside her on the cream ceramic floor. Zaina was moving her hand back and forth in the water.

"It's Friday tomorrow, are you sure about your decision?" Saba asked, rubbing a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes."

It wasn't convincing to Saba.

"If I end up where Minahil is. Would you please return me to my family?" Zaina continued before she could speak.

"You're not..."

She didn't respond. Saba held her arms and turned her to herself.

"Trust me. No one means to hurt you."

"I have been teared apart and you talk about being hurt?"

"Zaina. We often look over minor details of ourselves or others. It's the same as not reading the back of a book until the end. What you see isn't always what you should believe..."

Zaina looked her in the eyes, wanting to take the comfort she was offered but it was hard.

"You can say that. Not me." She was about to tear up.

Saba gently lifted the niqab off her face and wiped her eyes.

"Dunya issi ka naam hai. Hum sochte kuch aur hain aur hota kuch aur. Mujhe hi dekh lo.

I was born into poverty. Such that amma had to walk miles from our village to bring us a single meal which we shared. Our father passed away 4 days before Ali came. He was premature and we didn't have any money for his treatment but he got through somehow in sickness. We spent 8 years living off of people's charity. We worked at houses to earn something but it was never enough. And then, my amma was diagnosed with lung cancer."

Zaina wasn't blinking.

"Then..?" She asked.

"She became suicidal. She wanted her 14

year-old daughter along with an 8 year-old brother to run away somewhere far from her so they wouldn't face any more misfortune and she could die in peace. But she wasn't able to do it. Amma's condition became worse each day and we were slowly left with nothing. I wished I was the doctor that treated her... for free."

Saba's eyes were numb as the last sentence left her mouth.

"I.. am sorry." Zaina's voice broke.

"Don't be. How could we forget the power that prevails above these heavens? The best of writers.." She flicked away a tear and laughed.

Zaina looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Then Allah sent someone to us. Someone that was astray but he was for us. One day the three of us were taken in an emergency camp from our village. Amma was laid on the death bed when a boy, a little older than Ali walked in our tent. He came into the wrong one, thinking it was his mother's and held amma's hand. He ran outside and brought some doctors, pushing them to check her. And they did.

The next few days, they treated amma and provided her with medicines. It cured her, not completely but enough for her to function again. He used to come visit every single day. It turned out that he used the team he had on the other side of the camp for my mother with nothing in return. He played with Ali all day and brought us his own food to eat.

A month later, he was dispersed. A few men dragged him out and forced him to go to the orphanage. He was shouting and kicking them but they wouldn't let him go. Amma got up in whatever condition she was in and ran to them immediately, hearing his screams. She told them that Ismail was her own son and they released him.."

"And did your mother recover?"

"She did after several years. Alhamdullilah."

Zaina couldn't resist but she hugged Saba and burst out crying loudly. She hugged her back.

"I am really very sorry.."

Saba took her hands into hers.

"Jissey Allah rakhe, ussey phir kon chakhey?"

[Whom Allah keeps, no frost can harm!"]

⚜️

••••••••

Friday morning. The day which took an eternity to arrive. Dismissal and freedom at last, but who knew?

"Come in," Zaina got up from the bed, grabbing a shawl.

"Good morning. A reminder that you have to be up and ready by maghrib time."

"Ready?"

"Yes madam. It's the orders."

Before Zaina could inquire, she left the room.

"What is up with these people...?! Why are they so... weird!" She thought and ignored it.

*****

"Zaina.. What are you doing? I thought I sent someone to ask you to be ready." Saba came shooting in.

"I- what is there to be 'ready' for? I am fine."

"Girl you are not! It's a nikah. Take it seriously."

"Saba... it's a game! A fake game of deceit!"

"BUT. It is true in the eyes of the world. We cannot risk a single trace of suspicion. And if anything goes wrong because of your behaviour, you know what can happen and I personally don't want that," Saba's concern was genuine.

"Ok. What?" Zaina gave up just for the sake of her worry.

Saba went towards the glass wardrobe and slid the doors open in front of her. She stood dumbfounded. There was a long, white and silver embroidered double step frock hanging in the closet. It wasn't too extra but rather simple.

"Are you serious?" Her eyes popped out.

"Yes!!" Saba was strangely excited.

"No!!!" Her expressions were horrible.

"Why not?"

"It's not my damn wedding."

"Doesn't matter."

"And who 'ordered' me to do this?? Let me guess. THAT psychopath."

"Can you be any louder?"

"I'm not doing this."

"And no. That best friend of yours hasn't said anything like that. This was a part of the plan beforehand."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a story that's been set up for the high court to note down for this nikah taking place. And in sync to that, you have to be looking like a bride."

"But I didn't consent to this. I only agreed to play along with this whole thing."

"Darling I hate to mention him again but taking 'consents' is something which isn't found in his DNA."

"Be my friend Saba? This is the last thing I would want to do right now..."

"I am. But you have to remember that I don't make the rules."

Zaina stomped and went back to thrash on the couch, holding her head in her hands.

"Sorry." Saba felt bad.

"It's fine. As long as I go home tonight." She was disheartened but recalled her motive.

"Now will you let me help you...?"

Saba tied the buttons at the back of the dress from below her neck all the way down. The lace borders fit perfectly on her waist and the skinny printed sleeves complimented her arms.

"I didn't even know you were this beautiful." She sat her down on the vanity chair, now making her long, brown waves into a bun.

Zaina smiled back at her but it was dry as if she went into thought looking at herself in the mirror, spotting differences.

Saba draped the voluminous floral white dubatta over her which covered her entire head and then wrapped around her shoulders. It was pure elegance. The final thing was her precious niqab. There was a matching layer of silk and net which veiled half her face below the nose and she was ready.

The car which Ali was driving stopped in an empty parking lot. He got off and walked around for a few minutes, communicating on his Bluetooth. He then signaled Saba that the path was clear and we could come out.

I stepped out of the car and the bright pot lights of this building flashed across my face. It said "Supreme constitution of Gilgit, Pakistan." in bolded letters. I felt my heart sink.