It was no use.

Chammielle turned in her bed. The lovely feel of the down bedding seemed off. She could not sleep. The events of the day played over and over in her mind.

The wine, the concert, the dinner, and the revelation that the Butcher of Leians was her new tutor in all things underhanded and bloody were on loop. What had she become? What was the point of her being here?

She sat up, holding her head in her hands.

She wanted to meet with the Duchess, explain she was not cut out for this. Tell her to send her and her sisters home where they were safe and away from all the dark underbelly of the Pink Palace. They weren't safe. She didn't feel safe. Would they ever be again?

Yes. When Aster was wed to the Prince. They'd be safe then.

Knowing what she knew now, she wondered if these things would keep happening even after the wedding. A phony delegation had kidnapped Princess Violet. Sir Rose had saved her, but what were the odds of someone being so loyal to the new princess they'd risk their own life for her if that were to happen again?

No. She would. She knew she would. Her sisters were everything to her. If anyone tried to harm them she would lay down her own life to see them safe again. It was why she was doing all of this.

But how could she live with herself now?

She slipped out of bed and began pacing. Her room was locked and she couldn't leave. She wanted to go and play, play so that her mind could be soothed. The evening had worn on so that she didn't know the hour, but even still she felt the need to leave this room.

She went to the window.

For the first time she saw the view from her own room. It was overlooking the training barracks and stables. An odd position for a guest's room to not see the beautiful grounds, but definitely a safe one.

She tried the lock and found it wouldn't budge. She stepped silently to the vanity and found some of the pins Belladonna used for her hair. Quickly she tried to loosen the slender bolt holding it all together.

There was a click and the window came open.

She was still in her nightdress but didn't care. Her foot went over the sill without her thinking to do it. Just for a while, she needed to feel free.

"Chammielle?"

She started and looked back. Violet was at her door. She'd unlocked it and was peering in at her. The surprise on her face reminded her how this looked.

"I really needed some fresh air."

The princess nodded and stepped into the room.

"It's alright. I understand. Better than anyone. Belladonna told me about your confrontation in the hall. These things happen, and I am so sorry you're going through this. But I am also glad."

She swing her foot back inside. The princess was also wearing her night clothes, ruffles from throat to toe and a purple velvet robe tied around her. V went and sat on the edge of her bed and patted the space in the middle of it. Chammielle came and sat opposite of her, tucking her knees up and hugging them.

"I had no idea it was so dangerous just to be here..."

"If it makes you feel any better, it isn't always like this. You were very brave earlier. I don't think the Ladies will try anything like that again. And we have several agents of our own keeping watch."

She nodded but hugged herself tighter.

"I wish it did. Aster is in danger. And now the focus is on me to protect her, but I'm alright playing the bait. That man though..."

"Yes. Will told me. Alfrina asked for him personally for you. It seems she was concerned for your well-being, and I can see why."

She tipped her chin up to look at her and Chammielle felt guilty.

"I'm not wishing for death. Truly."

"And I believe you. But don't think of throwing your own life away for others. Trust that we are doing everything in our power to keep all parties safe. And we know what we're doing. Being a royal, we don't trust anyone lightly. Perhaps we seem paranoid, but it's best not to act ignorant of the dangers that lurk in the shadows."

"No, it's prudent. And wise."

She kept her mouth shut. She didn't think Violet wanted to speak of her kidnapping. Why would anyone want to relive such a thing?

"Then talk to me. Today must have been frightening, and I promise I will do my best to listen and not speak unless you ask me to. It is good to unburden yourself to someone. And I would know better than most."

Chammielle pinched her mouth, wondering if it was really alright to speak.

She sighed, caving.

"I don't know if I'm the sort of material the Pink Palace can work with. Aster certainly isn't as I'd first suspected. Perhaps if Alfrina was working with her as she is with me...but I wouldn't want her to know what I know. It's just too dangerous. I just want my family to be safe again. My eyes have been opened to this entire world and I don't dare blink for fear of a hidden dagger escaping my notice."

Violet reached up and held her hand and Chammielle hung her head. She was admitting to weakness. She couldn't remain here. This was not the sort of life she could live. And if it was, what sort of person was she?

She kept quiet for a while. Violet spoke up gently and squeezed her hand.

"And yet you've traversed this dangerous world of ours with all the dignity and grace of royalty yourself."

She shook her head, a tear slipping out ran down her cheek and she wiped it away.

"A façade. A mask. I know how to look and smile and pretend, but it's all fake. I'm terrified for my family."

The princess inched closer and she couldn't help herself. She let herself be held and a few more tears escaped. Her hair was being stroked and she couldn't help but think what an excellent mother the princess would be some day.

"Do you want to leave?"

Her mind screamed yes but she couldn't bear to say it. Something was holding her back. Violet sighed into her hair as she held her.

"I've felt this way more times than I can count. Will has always done an excellent job of keeping the weight mostly upon his own shoulders, never quite sharing with me the gritty details of what he knows in order to keep us all safe. My mother also, but now it's mostly him. They've always done what's best for me, tried to help me feel safe. I'll be married in a few years, and to someone I love and trust at that, and I think that's their gift to me..."

She pulled back and held Chammielle's face in her hands. It seemed in the absence of knowing her own thoughts the princess was able to supply her with her own. She trusted her with her innermost thoughts and feelings. It touched her, and she gave her her attention.

"Safety. No longer being the center of attention by being married to a third prince instead of the one who will be or could be crowned king. Just a token royal with our own small castle far away from decision making. But...when I am gone...I worry how Will is going to fair in my absence. He needs someone by his side to share the burden of the crown. Someone to brighten his day and help him see that not everything is so bleak."

She began to understand and closed her eyes.

"It's not exactly a position he can quit without putting you or Tulip in danger."

"That...and he loves a challenge. He'll never say he's struggling, only become quiet. It's my deepest fear my beloved brother would go silently to his grave instead of telling someone the danger is too much for him to handle alone. He's promised me multiple times he'd never be so stupid, but still I worry."

She could see it. All the times he'd played so coy and mischievous with her, he was hiding the reality of his situation. But at the same time, she couldn't help but think Violet was wrong about him.

"No, he's stronger than all of us. He's confident, not arrogant. I don't think you have to worry about him. No matter who he has at his side, I will always be his friend. I will always be here for him to help if I'm needed."

V sat back and looked at her, a strange smile overtaking her face. It was comical.

"You're not as afraid as you think you are, Chammielle. You might be frightened for the lives of your sisters, but when it comes to my brother you're a lion in the corner. Ready to pounce and only one way forward."

She chewed her lip. Was she?

"I...I don't mean..."

"You can tell me if you like him."

Her heart thudded in her ears. All those quiet moments together. What did she even think about him other than him possibly being a troublesome brother in-law?

"I... he's...well...I can't think like that."

"Why not?"

"He's...he's the Crown Prince of Garten...I'm a bastard daughter of a country Lord. It's obvious."

"So? Half the girls here don't have a chance with him, but they have no problem professing their admiration for him. Why not you?"

It was her turn to give the princess a look, and she was rewarded with a giggle.

"Oh please, what is a bastard but a child thrown away by a parent? Neither of yours abandoned you, and your family loves you. I think the term has no hold over you."

Chammielle scrubbed at her face with both hands.

"Yes, my mother died, she didn't leave me. But it's blazingly apparent I don't belong in that family."

"On the contrary, it's all the more apparent you do because of your love and devotion to them and theirs to you. Even your own stepmother believes you have a chance at the Crown."

The world seemed to stop. Her hands lowered from her face and she tried to discern what sort of joke this was. Lady Delphi Kuchen? It wasn't at all possible.

"I'm sorry?"

"Your stepmother. She thinks it's between you and your sister Aster. She even chose the Dianthus dress for you."

Her mind reeled.

It was a pretty dress she'd worn that day. It had pink and red and white dianthus flowers on it. It was new to her...and Lady Delphi Kuchen had chosen it.

"What...what about that dress?"

"She didn't tell you?"

She felt her world had some sort of crack in it she couldn't see. Something she'd missed. But it wasn't possible.

"But...I'm nowhere near as beautiful as her or the triplets. They're radiant, fit for the throne. Why would anyone think I could do this?"

She stroked her hair once more and Chammielle tried to find the answer in her amused face.

"You're a force to be reckoned with, Chammielle Kuchen. Anyone who meets you can figure that out. Will thinks very highly of you."

She could feel the blush creeping up her neck.

"He does?"

"Yes of course. Whatever you say he takes to heart. He wants to see you tell others off with such passion. Honestly, do people tell you nothing?"

She couldn't think of anything other than her telling him off during their garden walks. It brought a small smile and a groan to her lips.

"He's such a flirt though. Honestly, how is he going to remain true to one woman when his affable personality can be so overly friendly to anyone?"

V was smirking at her.

"What?"

"I think you're the first person to call my brother a flirt."

She scoffed at that.

"No, Alfrina was the first. She had to tell me he was flirting. Frankly I was a bit in the dark."

"You're so smart and yet so dense..."

Chammielle looked at the princess. If she was implying she couldn't see her own feelings for Will, she was wrong. But she simply couldn't have them.

"Oh, it doesn't matter. I'll probably marry whoever my secret admirer is. He seems wealthy enough to garner the Dowager Queen's favor. I'll worry about flirtations then, but it couldn't possibly be too soon."

"Oh! You have a secret admirer? Who do you think it is?"

She tossed the idea of giving a noncommittal answer around, but threw it out.

"Probably the Duke of Columbine. There isn't a crest or symbol for any of the pieces I've been gifted, but they're given so cleverly I can't help but think Alfrina's brother must be the one to have done it."

Violet looked shocked, and once again amused.

"You think it's Alfric?"

"Yes. Anyone related to Alfrina has to be comparable in intelligence."

V looked down and held a hand over her mouth.

"Perhaps...perhaps you should meet him."

She raised an eyebrow at her.

"I thought we weren't to meet with secret admirers during the week before the royal wedding?"

"Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. The point is to meet him and see for yourself what sort of person he is."

It seemed rational, and a welcome distraction from all the things that had been weighing her down the last few days and all at once compounded in the last few hours. Meeting the Duke was sure to amuse her. What sort of man could think of her as marriage material? She really wanted to know.

"Alright. Try as I might, I can't seem to sleep with all this cloak and dagger business. A little entertainment seems to be in order. Could you arrange it?"

"Oh, it will be my pleasure. Tomorrow, breakfast in the solarium. It'll be our little secret."

She nodded, feeling happy to not be thinking about Will and any possible impending doom for once. It seemed girlish and silly, meeting a secret admirer. Perhaps she really did need this after all.

"Not a moment too soon."

Violet left and relocked the door. A knight stood at one end of the hallway and it put Chammielle at ease knowing she was under guard. She headed to bed, thoughts of meeting the mysterious Duke putting a smile on her face. Being related to Alfrina, she had no doubt he'd be handsome. Her fear of marriage was swept to the side in light of a possible lengthy courtship.

She closed her eyes, and although she'd named the idea Alfric, Will came to her mind. Her dreams were full of daggers, crowns, bloody tea, solid arms that held her gently, and the smell of roses and basil.

It seemed the night held more woe than not.