Dear Harry

second last letter Harry

tell me how can I sleep

when you are the man of my dreams

and even though we do not speak

we fell apart

you may not be in my life

but you'll always be in my heart

you just got to let me in Harry

I'm trying to love you again

but they are long gone

I'm telling you this

cause I've given up on you

you've had her for months now

and I'm just a reject

day remaining ~ i

Reading it once more time, over and over again. Shoving it in his locker. Looking at it breaks my heart. I turn around sighing, walking to my spot where I would watch him open his letter, shoving it back in his locker, no expression on his face. My head is now in my hands. Thoughts are dancing around my head

Maybe this was the most stupidest idea I've ever had in my whole life. Why didn't I just go up to him, why didn't I tell him face to face that I'm in love with him. Maybe things would've gotten easier.

I think I've actually lost it since that first spark I felt; I knew you could never want me, but for you to ignore my letters and want her instead. Maybe you thought it was her or maybe you just thought it was some sick joke. I have shut everyone out, wanting to focus on finding love. Just for stupid love? Me thinking we could actually have something ? Believing everyone when they told me I'd find love with someone and me actually thinking it could be you? Someone who is as perfect as you? I lost it, and now I'm broken and hurting. I want you to come to me and ask if I'm okay, I want you to be there for me like I wish you always had been.

I can feel my tears welling up, my hardest not to cry over someone who could never love me. How did I deserve to not be happy? how did I not deserve to feel love? How could he never see how much I wanted him?

So many questions that could not be answered.