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Alex, softly staring into her eyes that next morning. He had been running his fingers softly through her hair, with her gazing back at him. She gave him a soft smile, the two of them tangled in sheets. 

"I never want to lose you," She whispered. 

"You never will," He replied. 

She lowered her eyes, her thoughts coming back. A grey cloud formed in her brain, telling her she didn't deserve Loki. She didn't deserve the Avengers, and she sure as hell didn't deserve to be called a hero. 

"My little flux," He added, pet names never absent from him. 

She blinked, looking back at him. She liked that. 

"We must get dressed, dear. The funeral is in a couple hours, it won't bode well to be the last ones awake." 

"You can shower first, I need a cup of coffee." She stood up, fixing her hair and slipping on her pajamas that had been discarded to the floor. 

She left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Walking down the hall, she turned the corner to see Steve sitting alone. She gave him a nod as she walked into the kitchen. 

"Good morning," He spoke first. 

"Morning," 

"You and Loki certainly reflected on Tony's funeral last night,"

Her face turned a bright shade of pink, turning to pour herself a cup of coffee to hide her embarrassment. "Guess you didn't sleep much?"

"Had too much on my mind,"

"Join the club,"

"Well, if you have any ideas how to safely replace all six Infinity Stones without killing yourself in the process, I'm all ears."

She whistled. "You've stumped me," 

"Yeah, well. If It goes according to plan, I'll stump a lot of people." 

She brushed off whatever that meant. She quietly sipped her black coffee, unknowing this would be an encounter with Steve she'd remember forever. Loki was finally doing showering, so she went back in the room to do so. It didn't take her long to get ready, as makeup was a thing of the past for her. She wore a simple black dress, nothing special. 

"Are you okay?" Loki was dressed in a black suit no doubt lent by Steve. 

She sighed. "No." 

He reached out, taking her hands in his. "We'll get through this," 

"Will I?" 

He frowned, taking careful notice to her change of pronoun. He decided not to push it, rather leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. 

"Come, they're waiting." 

The pair walked together down the hall of the Avengers' Compound. Loki looked down, noticing Alex was walking a bit staggered. 

He rose an eyebrow, smirking. "Am I the reason you cannot walk this morning?"

She immediately blushed, "Not now." 

He laughed, and she almost did too. 

<>

Tony's funeral was beautiful. The ceremony was short, but tasteful. Pepper released a wreath with his arc reactor into the lake, with Morgan by her side. Everyone attended, including faces she hadn't seen in a long time. 

She was glad to see everyone in one place. 

They then sat in the living room, all watching a hologram of Tony. 

"So I thought I'd probably record a little greeting, in the case of an untimely death. Untimely on my part. I mean, not that any death is untimely." 

Alex stood in the back of the room, alone. She watched Tony, who almost seemed alive, walk and narrate as if he was really in the room. It was almost painful for her. 

"This time travel thing that we're gonna try and pull off tomorrow, it's-it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of it all. That's the thing. Then again, that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I even trippin' for? Everything's gonna work out exactly the way it's supposed to. If not, Alex, well, you're in charge. You were born for this. Never a doubt. And Morgan, I love you 3000." 

Alex walked outside, pushing open the porch door and allowing it to swing loudly. Heads turned to her, and Loki went to follow behind but Wanda quickly intercepted. 

"I'll go," 

She followed Alex outside, going to stand next to her at her place down by the water. 

"That was a lot," Wanda spoke. 

"Yeah,"

"If I had to see a hologram of Vision, I'd lose it,"

Alex nodded. "Do the nightmares ever stop?" 

"Yes, and no. They'll stop coming every night, but they never really stop. Alex, grief is something I am no stranger to. It's important you don't allow it to swallow you," 

"Easier said than done." 

Alex walked away from Wanda, going to where she knew Steve and Bruce would be. They had planned to return the stones right after the funeral, as no time was to be wasted. The last thing they needed was a catastrophic failure and to accidentally undo their victory. 

"Now remember," She walked up to see Bruce talking. "You have to return the stones to the exact moment you got them. Or you're gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities." 

"Don't worry, Bruce." Steve assured. "Alex, you made it."

"Didn't wanna miss you coming back all mangled." 

"If you want, I can come with you." Sam spoke up to Steve.

"You're a good man, Sam. This one's on me though."

Alex smirked at Sam, who rolled his eyes at her. The pair watched as Steve walked over to his best friend, exchanging words. 

"Don't do anything stupid 'till I get back." 

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Bucky hugged his long-time partner. 

Upon walking over, Alex chuckled. "Don't worry, Steve, the stupid is right here," She clapped Bucky on the back. 

She stood next to him as they watched Steve take his position. 

"You still with the terrorist?" Bucky's head turned to her. 

"Yes, Bucky, I am with Loki." 

"Shame,"

"You'll make a woman very happy someday, Metallica." 

"Returning in five, four, three, two, one--"

Bruce pressed his button, but Steve did not reappear. Alex's fight or flight immediately kicked in, anxiety overtaking her. 

"Where is he?" She asked. 

"I don't know, he blew right by his time stamp. He should be here,

"Get him back, Bruce." 

"I'm trying!" 

"Sam," Bucky spoke up, nodding over to a man on a bench. 

Alex could see his age, and she quickly realized. What he said in the kitchen suddenly made sense. He went back to live his life. Anger took over her, and she silently retreated from the group. She walked through the trees, her thoughts becoming loud.

He had left her. Steve had selfishly gone to live his life, when he knew she needed him here. She was slowly losing the ones closest to her, and there was only one left that truly understood her. 

Loki. 

Thoughts of anger and despair now clouded her heart. She was angry at Tony for snapping. He left her, too. It wasn't fair. She was alone. She couldn't do this alone, she couldn't back then and she couldn't now. She couldn't be a hero. 

She was no hero at all. 

Tears fell from her eyes as the thoughts she had been pushing away fully set in. It was her fault that Thanos was not destroyed back in Wakanda, and it was her fault she couldn't destroy him when he returned to the compound. She wasn't strong enough. She was weak. She wouldn't be weak anymore. 

So, that night, she slipped into bed with little to no words. 

And that next morning, she awoke careful to not wake Loki. She gathered a couple things, very delicately going to the door. The smallest twinge of remorse caused her to turn around, walking over to the bed where Loki blissfully slept. She reached down, placing a small kiss on his forehead. 

And with that, she was gone. 

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