《that's life » s. hyde》[25] moon over point place
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"Okay, you guys, I just got an advance copy of the yearbook!" Jackie said cheerfully as she entered the basement. "And you'll all be happy to know that 1977 is my cutest year ever!"
"Jackie, that is so weird, cause I was just telling the gang how there's no way you could be cuter than last year." Eric said sarcastically.
"You were?"
"Yes."
Kelso looked up at Jackie from the couch, a big grin on his face. "I, for one, totally believe that you are cuter this year."
"Yeah, since I dumped you."
Izzy laughed. "Ooh! Burn!"
Kelso looked at her, scowling. "Forwoman, we've talked about this!"
"Hey, Steven!" Jackie said, sitting on the couch's armrest closest to his chair. She patted his knee and said, "Wanna pop some popcorn and look at all the pictures of me?"
He shared a confused look with Izzy. "No, I figured I'll do plenty of that when I die and go to hell."
Jackie laughed and playfully hit his chest. "God, you're such a card!"
"This is so exciting!" Fez said, standing behind the couch. "My first American yearbook. Show us some pictures of Fez."
"Sorry, Fez, I don't think there are any." Izzy said, sitting up.
"What the hell? How do you know that?"
"Well, I did the photos for the yearbook. I know who's where, and I know who's nowhere."
"So. They don't let foreigners in your yearbook."
"Uh huh." Jackie said absentmindedly as she shoved a yearbook into Hyde's hands. She flipped to a picture of herself and pointed excitedly. "Here's me cheering at the pep rally last fall."
Hyde looked closer at the picture, and his face broke out into a grin. "Oh my god, two people in the crowd are mooning!" Everyone quickly surrounded Hyde and looked at the picture. "You're all cheerin' away and whole time you're gettin' mooned, yeah!"
"Oh my god, those are girl butts!" Eric giggled. "There's girl butt in the yearbook!" He looked closer, trying to decipher who's butts they were. "Oh man, I can't tell who they are. I wish we had a magnifying glass."
"Oh, here you go." Kelso quickly pulled a magnifying glass out of his pocket and handed it to Eric. Everyone turned and gave him a confused look, and he just shrugged. "I was just... I was just playing with some bugs."
"God, I can't believe it!" Jackie whined. "Their nasty butts are in my picture."
Eric looked closer, and his face dropped. "My god, that's not girl butt! That's Donna's butt! A- And my sister's butt!"
The boys all turned to Izzy and Donna, craning their necks to look at their asses. Donna had a huge grin on her face, while Izzy was stuck in a silent laughing fit.
Izzy pointed at the book. "We made it!" She said in between bursts of giggles. "We- We did it!" She and Donna high-fived with both hands, and all the boys looked at Eric, whose face was white as a sheet.
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"Eric, are you okay?" Donna laughed. "Cause you look weird!"
"Yeah, could be because of your girlfriend's naked butt-"
"And your twin sister's!" Hyde cheered, cutting off Kelso.
"You two aren't helping." Donna said.
Hyde chuckled. "We aren't trying to help."
"Eric, it's not a big deal!" Izzy said, leaning against the back of Hyde's chair.
"It is too!" Jackie whined. "Your nasty butts ruined my picture!"
Donna raised her eyebrows. "Hey, maybe your nasty face ruined our butt picture."
"I know why I am not in the yearbook." Fez sighed. "It's because Whitey's keeping me down."
"Hey Fez," Kelso giggled. "Just look at the girls' naked butts some more."
He handed Fez the yearbook, and admired the photo. "Yes, that's nice. Thank you."
"Okay, okay... Take me through the chain of events." Eric said to the two girls, both of whom still had proud smiles on their faces. "Now, uh... you're at the pep rally--oh, and at this point, your pants are on."
"Right. And then they weren't." Donna said.
"Takes a special set of skills to time it just right." Izzy said. "I've gotten pretty good at-"
"No!" Eric yelled, cutting Izzy off from whatever she was about to say. "Look, mooning's not just something you do."
"No," Hyde said, pulling Izzy onto his lap. "It's not something you just do, because it's impossible to moon when you have no ass."
Izzy pointed at her brother and laughed. "I got the ass genes, I got the ass genes!"
"Shut up!"
-
"God, Michael is such a boy." Jackie said. The three girls were sitting on the Pinciottis' porch, avoiding Eric, who was still in a mood from earlier. "He doesn't even know who he is. You know who knows who he is? Steven Hyde."
Izzy scowled. "You like Hyde now?"
"No no, I don't like him, I just... I just think he's like, the sweetest, coolest guy I've ever met."
"Jackie, I thought you hated him." Donna said.
"Feelings change, Donna! Like, remember when the three of us first met and I hated both of you?"
"What?"
"Yeah! I thought you were, like, this big goon! And I thought Izzy was some weird hippie artist chick. Didn't we have this talk?"
"No?" Izzy said. "You really thought I was a hippie artist chick? Cool."
Jackie started giggling. "I'm so sorry."
Donna laughed. "It's okay. I mean, I hated you, too."
"Yeah! That's cause you're a big goon!"
"Bitch."
"Goon."
"Bitch!"
"Goon!"
Izzy giggled. "See? And now you're closer than ever."
"I gotta go find Steven." Jackie said, jumping up and hurrying over to the Formans' house.
Donna turned to Izzy, eyebrows raised. "How do you feel about this, hippie artist chick?"
"I think it's a cool nickname. Could do without the 'hippie' part though-"
"No, no. Jackie and Hyde."
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Izzy shrugged. "Whatever."
"What do you mean?"
"That's cool."
"Oh, don't pull that zen crap on me!" Donna said, laughing. "Seriously, how do you feel?"
"What, Donna? What do you want me to say? Hyde's my best friend-"
"Is he, though?"
"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, you're always like... touching each other." Donna poked Izzy, laughing. "You sit on his laaap, and he puts his arms around you-"
"Yeah, cause we're friends! I have a boyfriend, Donna, I don't care what Steven does with girls."
"Really? Cause, now I could be remembering this wrong, when he was gonna run off to New York with that punk chick, you totally-"
"I have a boyfriend!" Izzy said, exasperatingly throwing her hands up. "I don't like Hyde, Donna. I don't! I don't."
"Say it one more time and I'll believe you."
"I don't."
-
"Man, I dunno what's gotten into Jackie." Hyde said, sitting in the circle. "'Steven, let's hang out!'" He said, impersonating her. "'Steven, let's go to the mall!' My life's a living hell, you know?"
He passed the joint to Jackie, who was laughing like a crazy woman. "Steven, you're hilarious! You know, Steven and I tease each other. That's what best friends do!"
"You know what?" Donna asked with a big grin. "I love showing my butt! I don't care what Eric says! I like to show it, and I like to shake it! I mean, you get it, Izzy. I heard you flashed the concessions guy at some show to get free beer."
Izzy nodded. "Once, on a dare."
Hyde looked confused. "We didn't dare you."
"Yeah, that time it was just for fun. You know, Steven, you've seen more of me than my own boyfriend."
He grinned. "Yeah. That's a win."
Donna got up and started shaking her ass in front of everyone, singing, "Shake shake shake! Shake your booty!" Izzy got up and started dancing with her, the two of them laughing and messing around.
"Yeah, that's good stuff." Hyde said.
-
Izzy sat in the kitchen, a piece of fabric spread out across the table. She dipped her paintbrush into the pot of hot wax and painted her design into the cloth.
"Laurie, can you hand me the wider brush?" Laurie sighed, not looking up from her magazine, and tossed her the brush. Izzy dipped it into the navy blue dye and painted the cloth, watching as the dye avoided the wax.
"What the hell are you even doing?" Laurie asked, finally putting the magazine down.
Izzy smiled proudly. "It's a batik. I'm gonna hang it in Steven's room, I think."
Laurie chuckled. "Don't you think it's a little girly for him?"
"I don't think so. It's just abstract-"
"That's not a flower?"
"What? No." She paused, tilting her head to look at it from a different angle. "Oh. Shit. Eh, I'll just give it to Donna."
Just then, Red came into the kitchen through the sliding glass door, laughing hysterically. He was followed by Kitty, and Eric, whose face was red with embarrassment. "Girls, you'll never believe what just happened!"
"What, Daddy?" Laurie asked.
Kitty sighed and threw her hands in the air. "It isn't funny, Red! We had just convinced Bob and Midge to act normal around us after they found out Eric and Donna are having sex-"
"Mom!" Eric yelled.
"Oh, shut up!" Red said, still laughing. "Girls, we just convinced Bob and Midge to stop acting like dumbasses, and we turn around to see Eric and Donna in the driveway-" He held up a finger, laughing. "And Eric had his pants all the way down! To his ankles!"
Kitty gave the girls an exasperated look. "And then Eric tried running away, and-"
"And his pants were caught around his ankles!" Red continued to laugh as Eric sat at the table with Izzy and Laurie, putting his forehead in his hands.
"Well, I hope you're happy!" Kitty scolded Eric. "I don't think Bob will ever recover from the sight of your rear end."
"What rear end?" Laurie snickered.
"What I can't figure out, Eric," Izzy said, "is how you expected to run away with your pants down to your ankles?"
"Damn, he's dumb! Did anyone get a picture?" Laurie had pure joy on her face, while Izzy had never seen Eric look so ashamed.
Just then, the phone rang, and Red went over to pick it up. "Yello? Steven! Where have you been? You missed the funniest damn thing!" He relayed the story to Hyde, then paused. His laughter quickly diminished, and was replaced by a quiet voice. "Arrested?"
Izzy immediately stood up, walking over to Red. Hyde was just at the Hub, how could he have gotten arrested? "For what?" She whispered, but Red just waved her off.
"For possession? Possession of what?!" Red asked angrily. Izzy's eyes widened as she put the pieces together in her head. "Son of a bitch!"
-
"Hyde got arrested?" Kelso asked, once everyone was gathered in the basement. "For what?"
"For holding." Donna said.
"For holding what?!"
"For holding my heart." Jackie said. "Cause I love him."
Everyone's heads whipped towards Jackie, and all at once, everyone said, "What?!"
"It's true. Okay, I love Steven Hyde! And someday, he'll love me. And he'll cut off those stupid sideburns and we'll live happily ever after."
Izzy sank further into Hyde's chair, not quite sure why her stomach felt so uneasy. Without saying anything, Donna reached over and took Izzy's hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over the back of her hand.
Izzy looked up at Donna, her eyes full of worry and... something else. Something Donna couldn't quite place. But she had her assumptions, and she was going to figure it out.
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