It was nighttime, and Kelso, Hyde, Fez, and Izzy were all standing around the Formans' driveway, watching Eric freak out over a scratch on his car.

"Forman man, it's a tiny, little scratch. Red's never gonna see it." Hyde said, looking at it closely.

"No, Red sees everything!" Eric said.

"He can see when Eric puts cheap gas in the car." Izzy giggled.

"I got it!" Kelso yelled. "We'll put my 'gas, grass, or ass' bumper sticker over it!" Eric let out a sigh of frustration. "Alright, listen Forman. Whatever happens, we'll all take the rap." The boys all agreed, but Izzy rolled her eyes, knowing how wimpy they all were when it came to Red.

As if on schedule, Red exited the house, intent on taking out the trash. He threw the trash bag in the garbage can, stopped, and whipped his head around to face the car. "How'd you scratch the car, Eric?"

"Have fun!" Kelso said.

"See ya." Hyde bid Izzy farewell by pinching her cheek, making her squeal and swat his hand away.

"Good luck, Eric." She said with a giggle.

She went inside and sat at the counter, watching her brother and her father talk. When Red came in, he just went straight into his den. Eric followed, clearly upset.

"What happened? Did he vow to have you head on a stick?

"No, he took the car keys." He muttered.

Izzy sighed. "Damn, I'm sorry. But hey, maybe he'll teach me how to drive, and then I can take you places for a change!"

Eric laughed. "Yeah, like Dad will have the patience to teach you to drive."

-

The next day, after school in the basement, Donna, Jackie, and Izzy were sitting on the couch reading a magazine. "Oh my god." Donna said, "Hair Dos and Don'ts of Olympic Gold Medalists."

Jackie's eyes widened. "Oh my god, is that Dorothy Hamill? Psh, she's a virgin."

"No way! That gold medal probably gets her a lot more than you'd think." Izzy said.

"Speaking of, umm..." Donna said, gesturing with her hands. "You know those girls at school who do it, like, all the time?"

Jackie nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright, is it just me, or do they seem... more relaxed?"

"You know what? I think it's-" Izzy was cut off by the basement door swinging open, and Hyde, Eric, and Fez walking in.

"Hi!" The three girls said in unison, jumping at the sight of the boys. Donna tossed the magazine onto the coffee table.

"Hey, what were you guys doing?" Eric asked.

"They were talking about sex." Fez said, sitting down.

Hyde laughed and sat down. "Come on, Fez, chicks don't talk about sex, man. It's dirty."

"Yes we do!" Jackie said. "Especially when it involves Michael Kelso, my dreamboat."

"Oh great, now we have to talk about Jackie and Kelso's sex life." Hyde groaned. "This is my worst nightmare."

"Well, guess what," Izzy said, "before you guys got here, Jackie and Donna were actually having a pretty good time."

Everyone stared at Donna, who laughed. "I know, I was surprised too."

"Hey Donna, you want to go to my house?" Jackie asked.

"You know what, okay." The two girls got up, Donna grabbed her jacket, and they left.

"Damn, Izzy Bee, they totally ditched you." Hyde said.

"Thanks for noticing." Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just happy they're finally getting along."

"That makes one of us." Eric said.

Izzy watched as Eric complained about Red a bit more, as though she hadn't heard him do it enough times already, until Kelso burst through the door.

"Hey guys, check it out!" He said, dangling a pair of keys and laughing gleefully.

"Did you get a car?" Hyde asked.

"Yeah. My cousin Sully loaned me his wheels. So where to?" The group looked at each other, realizing that now that they had a way to leave, they wanted to stay.

"Can we just hang?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah."

"Cool."

Kelso picked Izzy up off the couch, making her laugh and hit his back as he set her down on her feet behind the couch. He then took her place, resulting in getting hit in the head with the magazine she was reading.

She went over and sat on Hyde's lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head down on his chest, getting comfortable to watch TV. When Eric saw this, he caught Hyde's attention and started wiggling his eyebrows. Hyde's face got bright red, and he took off his shoe and threw it at Eric.

-

A little while later, Kelso started shaking the keys in his pocket, clearly jonesing to use the car. "Hey, uh... you guys wanna go for a spin?"

"Nah man, Jeannie just got Major Nelson into her bottle." Hyde said, watching Barbara Eden on the television.

"I think it'll be fun. I could use some fresh air." Izzy said, flipping through a different magazine.

"Okay, you heard the woman, let's go!" Hyde said, tapping Izzy's hip, signaling for her to get up. She jumped off his lap, smiling, and he got up, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as the group all headed to Kelso's car.

-

"Man, this backseat sucks." Eric complained. He was sitting in the middle, between Fez and Izzy, with Hyde riding shotgun. "Plus, it's too small. Fez and Izzy's legs are touching mine."

"No, your leg is touching mine." Izzy said.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Okay, kids, time to settle down." Kelso said in an unsettlingly motherly way.

"I shouldn't even be in the backseat." Eric continued to complain. "You know, I should be driving my own car."

"Well the reason you're not driving your own car, Forman, is because you're irresponsible, and you scratched it!" Hyde said, before breaking into laughter along with everyone else in the car, besides Eric.

Hyde turned the radio on to find it playing soft, boring, grandma music, changing it quickly.

"No, put it back. I like that song." Eric said.

"Pipe down there, backseat Charlie." Hyde continued to flick through the channels, landing upon Highwater Star, which everyone started to get with.

"Alright!" Kelso cheered.

"The backseat sucks." Eric grumbled.

"Welcome to my sad, little world." Fez said.

After a while, they went to Fatso Burger to get some sodas, which Eric was, of course, complaining about.

"Hey," Eric said. "Why does Sully have a statue of the Virgin Mary on his dashboard?"

Kelso shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe he's like, religious or something."

"Wasn't Sully in prison for arson?" Hyde asked.

"Yeah. People that burn stuff believe in God too, Hyde."

"Why's Sully's keychain say 'I love bingo'?"

"Maybe Sully really likes bingo!" Fez said.

"You know, I'm starting to think this isn't Sully's car." Izzy said, laughing nervously.

Kelso scoffed. "Then who's car is it?"

-

What felt like moments later, the gang was all sitting in a jail cell.

"This is great. I'm dead." Eric said.

"You're dead? What do you think Dad's gonna do when he finds out I was roped into this?"

"Nothing! Because to him, you can do no wrong! You know, when we were in my car and I was running the show, I don't remember one single time we all got arrested!"

"That's true." Hyde said.

"Eric, will you just relax?" Kelso pleaded. "We're all in trouble here."

"Oh no. No, no, no. No, no. We're not all in trouble here. Your parents have seven kids. They won't even notice you're gone. Fez, your parents don't even live in this country. And Hyde, your mom... well, she's probably one cell over."

"Eric!" Izzy scolded.

"And Izzy, I'm supposed to be watching you. So that just leaves me. I'm the only one who's really in trouble here."

"Look, Forman, I'll be in as much trouble as you are as soon as Edna sobers up."

Fez's eyes were glossy. "I will be deported. They're gonna send me back to my homeland. The beautiful island of-"

Fez was cut off by the cell door opening, and a policeman walking in. "Okay, who's the ringleader here?"

All at once, everyone pointed at Izzy. "She is."

The policeman handed her a coin. "You get one phone call."

"To anywhere?" Fez asked.

The policeman looked Fez up and down. "One local phone call."

As the door closed behind him, Izzy scowled. "Don't listen to him, Fez."

"So... who should we call?" Hyde asked.

"I'd say Red, but I'd feel safer in jail." Eric said.

"I don't know my phone number." Fez pouted.

"I can't call Edna, man, it's poker night."

Kelso grinned. "To be fair, isn't every night poker night for Edna?" He asked, air humping. Hyde crossed his arms in annoyance. Izzy reached over and hit Kelso on the back of his head.

"No, no, no, I got it!" Kelso continued. "I'll call Jackie."

Izzy nodded and handed him the coin. They all watched as Kelso dialed Jackie's number and...

Wasted the call.

He sat back down, cheering quietly to himself.

"You two have a nice little talk?" Eric asked.

"Ohhh, yeah!"

"You know what's funny?"

"What?"

"Nothing! Because you forgot to ask her for help, you moron!"

"Oh god, you're right. Give me another dime."

Hyde punched Kelso on the arm. "We only got one dime! We only got one phone call!"

"Oh my god." Kelso paused. "Somebody give me a spoon, I'm gonna dig my way outta here."

Fez lunged across everyone, reaching over to punch Kelso, but was pushed back into his seat by Eric. Izzy stood up, starting to pace around the room. Her arms were hugged around herself and she was muttering quietly.

"Izzy, are you possessed?" Fez asked.

Izzy looked up, her eyes wide. "I'm in jail." She said quietly. "I'm in fucking jail."

Eric sighed and stood up, pulling her in for a hug. "I'm sorry. I know this sucks."

Izzy pushed her brother off of her. "You have been such a selfish ass all day! And now you just expect me to be cool with the fact that I'm in fucking jail?!"

The boys were all shocked. They had never, not once, seen Izzy mad. Upset, sure, but it never lasted more than a scowl or a slap to the back of the head. Even when she and Eric fought, they never had to discuss what was said, for they always silently made up moments after.

Izzy saw their reactions and ran her hands over her face. She went and sat in on the ground in the corner of the cell, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her forehead on her knees.

-

There was a while that was spent in silence. Eric was pacing, Fez was probably crying, Kelso was thinking about Jackie, and Hyde was just sitting there, emotionless. Eventually, he got up without a word and went and sat next to Izzy on the ground.

"You okay?" He asked softly, afraid that she would be crying.

She looked up at him, eyes dry, and nodded. "Red's gonna kill me."

Hyde laughed hollowly. "No, he's gonna kill Eric."

"Then the guilt of Eric getting killed will kill me." Hyde put an arm around her, but she tensed up. "What are you doing?"

Hyde looked taken aback. "Uh... comforting you?"

"I don't need comfort."

"Well... could you pretend like you do?"

Izzy paused, trying to hide a smile as she leaned into Hyde's side. "I can do that."

-

A little while later, Eric decided to just suck it up and knock on the cell door. The cop opened it quickly.

"Officer, I need to talk to you, please." The cop let him out to talk, and the door closed behind him.

"What's Forman doing?" Hyde asked.

Izzy smiled. "Being stupid."

A few minutes later, Eric walked back in, holding a few folders. He tossed them onto a chair without a word.

"So?" Hyde asked.

"So call a cab. We're sprung."

"What?" Kelso stood up. "We're free?"

"All charges dropped. Wait, that is what you wanted, right?"

Everyone got up, big grins on all of their faces, and gave Eric a hug, then immediately tried to pretend they didn't just do a group hug.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" Hyde said. Eric turned around and tried the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. It slowly dawned on them all that the door wouldn't open from the inside.

Eric turned back to the others sheepishly. As if all at once, everyone started pounding on the door. Thankfully, a cop was still right out front, so he opened the door, letting everyone out. As Izzy passed the cop, he looked her up and down before giving her a wink. Hyde glared at him and put an arm around Izzy's waist, who smiled at him gratefully.

-

When Eric and Izzy got home, they didn't expect to see Red on the couch, reading a paper.

"Hey Dad!" Eric said, the two of them trying to race up the stairs without being asked any questions.

"Hold it." Red folded his paper up as Eric and Izzy slowly made their way to stand next to the couch. "About the car."

"Oh good, I can go to bed!" Izzy said, starting to walk off.

"Hold it!" She groaned and returned to her spot. "I know it was..." He cleared his throat. "And I, uh... You see, when I was a kid, uh... Maybe I came down..." Red huffed and tossed Eric the keys. "Here."

Eric's face lit up. "Thank you, sir."

"Wait, why was I needed for this?"

"Ah yes, Isabelle... Eric, you can have your car back if you teach your sister to drive."

Eric's face paled. "Seriously?!"

Izzy laughed. "Seriously?!"

"Yep. It's about time she learned."

"Fine."

"So, uh, where you two been all night?" Red asked, opening his paper back up.

"Prison." Eric said.

Red laughed. "Yeah, okay."