I can feel my heart pounding in my chest when I wake up, searching for my son. My hand collides with his chest and I relax slightly, but I'm finding it hard to breathe.

The officer made a couple of phone calls and then gave me cash to get us home. There's a warrant out for Jacob Roshard's arrest. We drove for a while last night before we stopped in Omaha, Nebraska. I got a hotel for us but I couldn't get an expensive one.

I miss Nathan so much but with the way I left things, I can't help but wonder if he misses me.

I don't really care right now, all I know is that I need to hear his voice.

I stand up and fumble around for the hotel phone. I grab it and quickly dial Nathan's number, glancing at the clock.

3:27AM.

It's 4:27AM in Columbus.

I swallow the lump in my throat and lift the phone to my ear. It rings five times and then stops. I hear a shuffling and then a low and exhausted, "Hello?"

"Beau?" I whisper.

"Odeletta? Amour? Oh god." I hear more shuffling. "Where are you?"

"Nebraska." I mumble, rubbing my eyes. "Did the police speak to you?"

"Yess sweetie, they did." He murmurs. "I'm so worried about you guys."

"Nathan, I need you to go to the bank and cancel all my credit cards. He has my wallet. I lost everything."

"Okay." He says. "Do you have enough money? Why don't you and Noah stay there and I'll drive out there? I'll leave right now amour, all you have to do is say the word."

Nebraska is a long way from Ohio...

"Nathan, that's a really long drive." I whisper.

I feel calm though hearing his voice.

"Well...well I want to meet you guys, please? The kids and I..." he trails off. "We need to see you guys."

"What about Lucia? We won't all fit in the truck."

"Yeah, uh, about that...I might have stress-bought a Chevy Tahoe..."

"Really?"

"Yes...it seats seven and I can borrow Julian's trailer for Lucia."

I sigh slowly.

"How is Lucy?"

Last I heard she didn't remember anything.

"She got all of her memories back." He murmurs, allowing me to change the subject. "She's home now, she just has to sleep sitting up. They said it could be months before she goes back to school. She's probably going to have to repeat first grade."

I scoff.

"No, I'll find some way to give her an education." I say. "But she's okay though?"

"She's okay." He whispers. "How are you? I can't imagine..." he trails off. "Are you guys okay? What are you doing up this late? Isn't it like, one something there?"

"It's only an hour difference." I whisper. "It's three."

"Huh." He says.

"And um, it's just, uh, nightmares."

He's quiet for a little while.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles.

The room is quiet aside from the AC on.

"I want to come see you right now."

I glance at Noah's sleeping form.

"Noah is finally sleeping, beau. He needs to rest."

He huffs, but he doesn't push it any further.

I hear Noah stirring in the bed.

"Mama?" He mumbles. "Who are you talking to? It's really dark in here."

"It's Daddy." I whisper.

"Daddy?" He asks.

"Is he awake?" Nathan murmurs.

"Yes." I whisper, in response to both of them.

"Now he's awake so I can come." He says.

I sigh slowly.

"Noah, do you want to leave now?" I ask.

He glances at the time.

"I don't think I'm going to fall back asleep anyways Mama." He mumbles.

"Alright Nathan, fine."

"Really?" He gasps. "Oh my god, I am so excited. Where should we meet?"

"I'm not sure beau, I don't have any way to access the internet. I don't have anything but the key to Lucia. I shouldn't even be driving."

"Then we can come to you."

"Nathan," I begin.

"No." He says firmly. "You aren't supposed to be driving anyways. You don't have a license."

"Nathan," I whine.

"No." He replies.

"Nathan, we can meet up. The police know my situation if I get pulled over. They can look me up." I insist. "I'll be fine, I jumped out of a moving vehicle on Lucia with Noah behind me." I say. "I can drive."

He's quiet for a long time.

"We can meet in Peoria."

"Where is that?"

"It's in Illinois." He responds. "We can meet for food. It's almost a six hour drive for both of us, so by the time we meet up it will be...well I'm not sure if we will be in your time or mine...but it'll be six hours from now."

"Right, okay." I say.

"Hold on."

I hear him typing on his phone. "Get a paper to write with, okay?"

"Okay."

I shuffle around, getting a hotel paper pad and a pen.

"I am ready." I say.

"Okay, the place is called Sterling Family Restaurant. The address is 4513 N Sterling Ave, Peoria, IL 61615."

I scribble it down and recite it back to him.

"Yes baby, that's the one." He says. "I'll go wake the kids and in just six or so hours you'll be in my arms."

I smile.

"Okay...I can't call you once I hang up though."

"That's okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

I hang up.

"What if they haven't showered in a week?" Noemie blurts. "I mean, that would stink...literally. Do you think they changed clothes?"

"Yes." I sigh. "I'm sure Mama insisted."

"What if they have bruises?" Caroline whispers.

"Then you say nothing." I say. "Pretend like you don't see it. Your Mother and your brother have been through hell and back this last week. They don't need you making them insecure about the bruises they got from the guy that tried to kill them."

"Yes sir." They all say in sync.

I'm anxious as I pull onto the same road that the restaurant is on.

"In a quarter mile, the destination is on your right."

All of us stay silent as I drive down the street.

I see the sign for the restaurant as I pull in.

It's only ten in the morning.

I see a familiar sleek black motorcycle sitting in the back.

I park diagonal across three spots because I have Julian's trailer hitched to the back. I'm on the other side of the building because that was the only place with enough space.

I shut the engine off and get out, taking Lucy's hand

Odeletta is leaning against Lucia. She's wearing jeans and a black long sleeve shirt.

I see no bruises or cuts on her face at all. She doesn't have a coat and she's shivering.

Her brown hair is clean. I see it fall into her face and she brushes it back. Noah is sitting on the curb in jeans and a navy blue long sleeve shirt.

I can see her lips moving. He looks up and says something to her, causing her to tilt her head to the side and respond. He shakes his head and stands up, talking to her. She shakes her head and rubs her eyes.

They both look exhausted and they both look like they lost weight.

I keep my hand in Lucy's as I pull her across the parking lot. The three kids stay with me.

When I walk off the curb, Noah looks up and spots me, a giant grin filling his face. Odeletta turns her head and smiles a tired smile at us.

"Mama!" Lucy squeals, walking forward. Odeletta crouches down and pulls Lucy into a hug. Noah fidgets with his hands.

Normally the kids wouldn't walk up and hug Noah.

Raylen walks straight up to his little brother and pulls him into a death grip.

"Dude, I thought you died or something." Raylen mutters. He pulls away to mess up his brothers hair.

"I almost did." He says. "I had a gun to my head."

That cuts off al conversation and the smile on Odeletta's face vanishes, her eyebrows creasing together.

I see a flash of guilt on her face.

"Well you didn't." Noemie says, breaking the silence. I pull Noah into a bear hug. He smells of sweat and hotel shampoo.

All the kids are hugging Odeletta. I pull away from Noah for his siblings to hug him and walk over to my wife.

Her eyes are full of a lot of emotions as she peers at me.

I can't even imagine how her and Noah are feeling. I open my arms to Odeletta and she walks into them. I pull her into a tight hug, pressing my lips to her head.

She clings to me for a while. I pull away and lean down to kiss her softly. Her hair too, smells of sweat and shampoo.

I know the sweat is probably from the helmets.

"I'm starving and haven't had a full three meals in eight days. Can we go eat now?" Noah asks.

"Yeah kid, let's get some food."

Odeletta takes Lucy's hand. I throw my right arm over her shoulders and put my left hand on Noah's right shoulder as we walk inside.

The hostess stands there, looking to be Raylen's age.

Her eyes lock straight on my son.

"How many?" She asks him.

Raylen pulls out his phone, completely unfazed.

"Seven." He says bluntly. She bats her eyelashes at him and beckons him forward, turning around and walking away. I resist a laugh as Raylen follows her. We follow behind him until we reach a booth.

She stops, passing out the menus.

"Lacy will be with you guys in a little while." She says, smiling flirtatiously at Raylen. She puts her hand on his shoulder.

"I have a girlfriend." He says, and then he slides into the booth.

Her smile falls and she walks off, frowning.

I couldn't wait to get home. I was so tired and when I got home, I went in and too a shower, put on pajamas, and crawled into bed.

I can hear movement in the living room though, and something that sounds like muffled yelling.

I push the covers off of me, a bad feeling in my stomach, and walk into the bathroom. I grab the baseball bat I put in here when I got home and walk out of the bedroom, making sure to be as quiet as possible.

When I pee around the corner, my blood runs cold.

All five kids are tied up in the living room, huddled together in the corner. Nathan is tied to a chair. The kids have their mouths taped shut, but no tape is on Nathan's mouth.

What the fuck?

I push back against the wall and hold my breath.

Silently, I slip back into the bedroom and grab one of my old phones. I hold down the power button and the screen flashes the dead battery sign.

I don't have time to charge it.

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what's coming, and peek around the corner into the living room.

My blood runs cold.

"You know Nathan, you could just tell me where your wife is."

Jacob Roshard comes into view. He breathes on the blade of one of my kitchen knifes and wipes it off with his sweatshirt sleeve, polishing it meticulously.

"Even if you killed me, I still wouldn't tell you where she is."

"I could just kill one of your kids." He snarls.

Without hesitation, he grabs Caroline and pulls her into a headlock, pressing the blade of the knife to her throat.

"Now, I will ask you one more time. Where is Odeletta?"

"I'm right here, you sadistic bastard." I snarl. "Let her go."

Jacob's eyes lock onto me and a giant grin floods his face.

He's looking at me like I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him.

He shoves Caroline towards her siblings. She trips on the rug and falls, falling onto Noemie.

Her hands are tied around her back and her ankles are tied.

All of theirs are. Nathan too, but his wrists are tied to the chair.

"You left me." Jacob whines. "Why baby? We were just getting started."

"What do you want?" I hiss.

"I want a lot of things." He says. He saunters into the kitchen and comes back with a beer.

"Where is your bottle opener?" He asks.

I glare at him.

"If you drink it, you owe me three dollars." I say bluntly.

He laughs loudly, and then he walks over to Nathan, takes the knife in his hands, and drags it across Nathan's thigh.

I can see the pain in his eye, but he doesn't scream. His chest is heaving as blood starts gushing from his thigh.

Then he holds the bottle out to me violently.

"Open it, you fucking bitch."

I grit my teeth and step forward, leaving the bat behind the wall. I snatch the bottle from his hand and walk over to the coffee table. I put the lid against the edge and slam my hand down on the top. It pops off easily. I thrust it towards him.

"Thanks darling, that was real nice of you."

I scowl in response.

He sits down comfortably on my couch, wiping the blood from Nathan's thigh off on the cushion.

He breathes on the blade again, polishing it, and then he takes a long swig of his beer.

"You see sweetheart, I've been after you for years." He says. "First is was casual, you know? You were hot and you had a hot bike. I wanted the bike." He shrugs. "But you wouldn't give her to me, and the more I spoke to you about it, the angrier you got. I found your anger adorable." He takes another sip, studying me with a small smile on his face. "And then I fell in love with you."

I scoff.

"You're a fucking dick."

"Don't call me a dick." He hisses. He smiles sweetly then, sipping the beer. "So I started trying to find your weakness. I knew it was that bike." He tsks and shakes his head. "I thought about it for a while, and when you wouldn't give me the bike and you didn't want me, I got mad. That's when I tried to have sex with you, remember that sweetie? In the alley by your work?"

Of course I remember that. I still have nightmares.

"But you fought me off. You didn't want me. You broke your heart, and I gave up with the bike. I remember when I came to your house with all of your roommates and Nathan here answered the door. You looked at him the way I look at you, and I knew then and there that he was. Your weakness. That's why I got him arrested."

Bastard.

"But he has a lawyer friend, and he got free, and then I went in jail. I had a long time to think about what I wanted. Nineteen years, to be exact." He smiles. "And I didn't want the bike anymore. I wanted you. Not just sex, but all of it. I want kids with you, a house with you. I want the hot biker wife."

All five kids and Nathan are listening to this.

"So I waited. And waited. And I got a women pregnant when I was in jail. She gave birth to a little boy. He's seventeen now. We gave him up for adoption because she was in for murder and I wasn't getting out any time soon. Do you know what we named him?"

I just raise my eyebrows. He smiles.

"Jake."

No.

"So I got out and found out Jake was friends with your dear boy Raylen here, so I started getting him to like you, too. But he told your little kid he wanted you, and your kid fought him, so I told Jake to come here and get his revenge, and boy, did he do that."

His eyes linger on the exposed bullet scar on my arm.

"But that didn't work. So I started plotting. And plotting. And waiting. And then I saw what happened to your little Lucy here, and you took off. I knew you would. You blame yourself for it, don't you baby?" I press my lips together and stay silent.

"Answer me!" He yells.

"Yes." I say finally.

He sighs.

"So you took off, and I decided to strike. If you wouldn't let me have you, I would just take you." He shrugs. "So I came in, but when I was carrying you downstairs, Nathan showed up with Noah and Caroline. Nathan sent Noah inside to see if you were in there while he and Caroline went to check the barn to make sure the horses were all there and you weren't in there. Noah saw you unconscious, so I swiped him up too. I couldn't have him talking. I knew if Noah told Nathan what he saw, Nathan would know it was me. You married a smart man, Odeletta." He sighs. "So I kept you and Noah. He could be our little boy, but you still didn't want me, and then you took off." He stands up. "So now here I am again. I don't want Lucia, I don't want your kids, just you. I want a baby with you."

What?

What?

"A baby?" I ask slowly.

"Yes. If you come with me and willingly create a baby with me, I will leave Nathan and all of your precious children alone."

"And if I don't?" I ask.

"Then I'll kill every single one of them. You have thirty seconds to make your decision."

There is no decision.

He will kill the kids. He will kill Nathan.

I can't let that happen.

If sacrificing myself is what I have to do, I'll do it.

"Well?" He demands. "Will you do it? Will you come with me?"

"Odeletta." Nathan says.

My heart quakes in pain as I look at Jacob.

Slowly, I reach out and take the ring and the wedding band off of my left hand, setting them on the coffee table. All the kids start struggling against the ropes.

"Wonderful!" Jacob grins, walking over to me, he plants a giant kiss on my lips.

I force myself to kiss him back.

He reaches up and grabs my breast, squeezing it.

When I don't protest, he pulls away.

Nathan's eyes are flooded in anger.

"We will take Lucia." He says. "To the old house. That's where I want to go."

"At least let me call somebody to help him?" I point to Nathan's thigh.

"No." He says. "You can't. You don't love him anymore, you love me. Right?"

This guy is clearly insane. I feel bad for him.

"Yes." I whisper.

He kisses me again, just a peck this time, and turns away.

"Good, now go get the keys to Lucia. And put on the leather jacket. You look so sexy in that."

I look at Nathan, my eyes flooded with pain.

"Lucia's keys are over there. Come on babe." I mumble, forcing the name through my lips. He follows me. I grab my leather jacket and pull it on by the mudroom. He follows me. I grab the key's to Lucia and walk into the garage, pressing the button to open the door. He follows me to Lucia. I open the seat and put on my helmet.

"There's only one." I lie.

"That's alright baby, I want you to be safe."

I start her up, hearing her engine start.

Je suis tellement désolé, Lucia.

I will never hear her turn on again.

I might die. I could die.

I will probably die.

I get on and he gets on behind me.

His hands lock around my waist, sitting dangerously too low for my comfort.

I can feel his fingers brushing against me through the fabric of my sweatpants as I drive out of the garage, picking up speed.

The old house is only about five miles. I can feel him attempting to rub my clit through the sweatpants and I tighten my grip on the handlebars, my heart pounding. I pick up speed, tears burning in my eyes as I look down at the speedometer 65. 70. 80

I reach the old out and don't slow down. Roshard is screaming at me to stop as I go flying through the snow, rounding the house to the gas tank in the back.

I slow down to about fifty and go flying towards it.

I love you, Lucia. I love you, Nathan. I love all the kids, my whole family. I'm so sorry this has happened.