C H A P T E R 1

Valentina Dove Blackclaw

water forms in her ice blue eyes yet she doesn't let them fall. The sorrow circling endlessly like it is trapped in a raging tornado. Her eyes stare at the open ocean, gazing at the soft waves as the they move in motion. She sits on the sandy beach with her knees up against her chest. Her golden hair moves along with the breeze that passes through her, sending shivers down her body when it kisses her bare skin.

The tank top doesn't cover her bare arms and the night brings the cold air with it. Sighing, she moves a bit to get herself more comfortable but doesn't break her position. An hour she has sat there on the beach, alone and freezing. Losing the fight a stray tear leaks down from her right eye. Her mind haunted with thoughts that never seem to want to leave her alone. She shivers violently and only hugs her knees closer to herself. Using the back of her hand she wipes away the tear from her cheek before it could roll any further.

The silvery half moon high up in the sky surrounded by sparkling stars. Light from the moon shines on the ocean surface creating a blurry reflection of the beautiful scene in the sky with not only the moon itself but also the stars that are magical. The gust of wind moves the trees in the forest behind her in harmony and they dance around in the night. The silent night makes the ocean heard in her ears as she sits there and watches it with sorrow. The sand under her toes tickling her yet she does not move nor does she care.

Her hands travels up to her neck and unhooks a silver chained necklace. Holding it in her hands she looks down on it. The silver chained necklace has a simple full moon charm made out of the same silver. Turning it around to see words engraved. Forever does not mean eternity ~ Love dad. The tears she has been so desperate to hold in break out and silently fall from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. "I miss you" She whispers while clutching the necklace close to her heart as she cries into the silent night.

The sadness too much for her to bear and breaking down into sobs while sitting on the beach. Her tears uncomfortable and the sorrow never leaving her alone, it hangs around her like an evil shadow. Holding the necklace in her hands she takes another look at it before she puts it around her neck, back where it belongs. The salty tears still leaking down her face and softly landing on her knees, soaking the gray sweatpants that she wears. Sighing, she uses her hands to lift her body up until she's standing on her feet. Facing the ocean she slowly walks over to the waves that touch the sandy beach.

She walks into the ocean and doesn't stop until the water has reached her ankles. The cold from the water stings her already cold feet but she does not care. She does not care for the cold nor how much her body trembles. Standing there with tears dripping down into the ocean and getting lost forever in the waves. Her body hurting from the cold that continues to bite her and stinging in her body. The pain bearable on the outside not on the inside. Her soul scarred and her heart broken. No physical pain can ever be worse.

With her fingers she wipes away her tears and rubs her eyes before she takes a deep breath. Calming herself down by take a few deep breath to make sure that she doesn't burst into tears once again. Her body not able to stand the cold any longer slowly turns around. Her movements slower as her body violently shaking with cold. The goosebumps on her skin a clear sign of the freezing air around her. Sand sticks to her wet feet as she walks up on the sandy beach. Hugging herself from the cold and to keep the little warmth that she still has.

Going to the green grass higher up where the forest lies she uses the trees to help herself stand as her feet feel like giving up from the numbness that came from the cold. It will take her a couple of minutes to get to her destination but she doesn't mind it. Her ice blue eyes stare into the distance as she walks slowly past the trees. Her bare feet walking on the cool dirt. She's careful of roots in the ground and branches on the trees to not harm herself. The night is dark and dangerous yet she does not feel fear. She's calm and safe.

A mansion standing proud and tall in front of her. Wasting no time but to where the backdoor is located which leads to the kitchen of the mansion. The only light comes from there and as soon as she approaches the door, it swings open. Startling her in the process. She jumps back with fear but does collect herself when she sees no danger. A woman stands by the threshold, holding the door open. "Valentina, I have been looking everywhere for you" The woman says.

Once she sees the state of Valentina she stops right in her tracks. Giving her a sad look she slowly walks over to her and embraces her in a hug. Just by the hug, Valentina burst into tears once more. Crying into the woman's shoulder as she hugs her. "You're shivering like a mad woman. Come inside and I'll help you warm up" The woman says as she helps her get inside. As soon as she walks inside the warm air hits her like a bullet. The warmth does not much for her now as she's still trembling, having a hard time even walking from the freezing cold.

"Mom. I can't do this" Valentina says, her voice shaky and the salty tears leaking from her eyes. The woman, her mother helps her sit down by the oven on the wall that heats up the kitchen. She hugs her tighter, just letting her cry while all she can do is comfort her daughter. "I know but it will be all right. Now dry your tears. Your father would not want you to cry or dwell in sorrow. He would have told you- "to smile and laugh" The both of them say in unison.

Valentina lets out a small giggle. "I know, I remember. Dad was all about happiness" She whispers. Wiping the tears away but that does not wipe the sadness away. The woman sighs and looks at her daughter with her identical ice blue eyes that she clearly got from her as she hugs her tighter. "Your father was an extraordinary man and never let anyone tell you otherwise. He loved you with all his heart and he d-died with you on his mind. You were his greatest joy and now you must remember him the way that he was and now how people want us to believe" Her mother says.

Preparing her daughter for what is to come. "It's not fair" Valentina only says. The feeling of warmth slowly entering her body as her mother's warm arms are wrapped around her and the oven by her side. The feeling of love in the air as the love between love and daughter is unbreakable. The moon shining through the window but goes lost in the light of the room. "I know it is but this is how its done and there is nothing we can do about it" The woman says.

Neither of them said a word after this. Just enjoyed the feeling of being in each other's arms and while she warms up the night slowly passes and before they knew it, both of them had fallen prey to the darkness and it swallowed them whole and brought them over to the deep depths of slumber. Letting the night pass by them and soon the night shall turn into day and the moon replaced by the shining sun and her rays, bringing light upon everything her rays are able to reach.

Valentina's ice blue eyes look outside the window of the kitchen as she washes the wishes after breakfast. Seeing the children play outside in the sun brings her only joy and a small smile creeps up to her face. Running around without a care in the world reminds her of the beautiful childhood she had and how she misses it. "I loved to watch you play outside, I could watch you for hours" Her mother's voice comes beside her, as she had noticed her daughter gazing at the children. Remember the happy times she used to have just few years ago.

"Makes you wish to have some on your own" Her mother teases. Valentine's eyes widen and she stops what she's doing and looks at her mother. The look of shock, surprise and confusion written all over her face and her eyes circling with the information. "Mom" She says loudly. But her mother only shrugs. "What? There's nothing wrong with having children early" The woman says as if it were the most casual thing in the world. Valentina's gaze returns outside at the children, watching them play tag with each other and just laugh and be free. "I'm seventeen, mom. I'm far too young to have children. Besides I haven't found my Mate. No man would want to raise other man's children" She says sadly.

Children are the joy of the world and with the sorrow shadow behind her joy is not in her reach. "I was sixteen when I had you, you know" Her mother tells her then leaves the kitchen, leaving her daughter alone with her thoughts. Valentina looks down to not want to think about children anymore and how she's giving up on it. "Someday" She mutters to herself. The hope of children going down the drain like the water in the sink.

After the dishes have been cleaned and put in the dishwasher she sighs and looks around the empty kitchen. Sitting down on the chair that she and her mother slept on just few hours before, her gaze returns to the window and out into the world. The sun slowly going higher with every minute and the world waking up after a cold night. The children have found something else to entertain themselves than playing outside in the beauty of nature. Her ice blue eyes then wander to the ocean. The view is not good from there but she sees it, not only with her eyes but also in her imagination.

Her mother returns the kitchen to see her daughter dreamingly stare at the ocean and she can't help but smile at her beautiful daughter. "Valentina?" She asks breaking the girl from her trance. She turns around to look at her mother. "Can you help me bring everything back from the dining hall?" Her mother asks and Valentina's quick to stand on her feet and smile at her mother. "Of course" She answers and the two walk out of the kitchen and to the dining hall.

The hallways have been stripped away their furniture and everything that makes them look like home. The paintings, mirrors, tables with vases filled with beautiful flowers and plants that once gave the hallways character are no gone and have been replaced by empty walls and sadness. Valentina's eyes fill with salty water when walking down the hallways as it is too bare for her to see and not the home she grew up in. Her mother's hand finds hers and holds her hand. Her eyes look to her mother and she's smiling at her, helping her daughter get through the hard time she's been forced to go through.

"Where is everyone?" The girl asks her mother after a moment or two. The hallways are empty of not only furniture but also the life that normally caked the hallways. "In a Pack meeting" She replies to her daughter and she understands everything when her mother says that. "And let me guess, we are not invited" She mutters to herself but her mother did hear her. She looks down on the floor at the oak wooden floor knowing that everything might change but the floor will always remain the same.

Sighing her mother stops in her tracks making the girl stop too. Her ice blue eyes look up from the ground. The golden locks falling over her eyes as she looks at her mother. And a frown on her lips. "I know this is a lot to take in but they wanted us to be there but it's against the rules. We are Omegas now and not allowed at Pack meetings" Her mother explains to her the unfair situation that they're in. "We are the first Omegas in fifty years. Don't you think this is unfair?" Valentina asks her mother.

The only thing she could do is pull her daughter into a hug, letting go of her hand and wrapping them around her body and just hug her. "Forever does not mean eternity" Her mother tells her. "The words your father lived by every day and they guided through even the toughest conditions. Now all we can do is do the same" She continues. Being strong for her daughter and herself. No words are spoken after that and neither did they need any, the hug shared between mother and daughter is all they needed. "Come on before we might become the first Omega pancakes" She jokes but it does put a smile on her daughter's face when they break the hug.

"I don't think that is going to happen" Valentina says and the frown that once controlled her has now bloomed into a beautiful smile that one day shall brighten someone's day. She opens the door that leads into the dining hall for her mother and herself. The dining hall is the largest room in the mansion and according to Valentina the most boring one. The walls are made out of dark oak wood and the ceiling is flat with only light bulbs hanging from it. The floor is the same oak floor that the rest of the mansion has.

The dining hall has faced and survived many food battles in its time before all the grand walls and the ceiling got devastated that no one wanted to make it beautiful and let the light of the mansion shine. A large iron table in the middle that goes from the furthest end to the end where Valentina and her mother walked in. One hundred and three wooden chairs in front of the table, yet only one hundred of them in use.

Empty food trays and jars half filled with jam scattered around the large table along with food crumbs that have also fallen to the floor and are randomly spread out all over the place. Both mother and daughter help each other setting the trays on a metal frame rolling tray that they will later take to the kitchen. "You know, when you do decide to have children, this will be your life" Her mother says and snickers. Valentina silently giggles at it knowing that her mother is constantly hinting that she wants grandchildren and since she only has one daughter she doesn't have anyone else to hint it to.

"I suppose it will be but not happening for some time" She says hoping that this discussion ends with that as she's not willing to talk about children when she has not found her Mate yet. When everything has been neatly stacked on the tray they both take a broom and start sweeping all the crumbs on the wooden floor in one pile. "At this rate, I'll be fifty when I get my first grandchild" She jokes but earns an eye roll from the certain golden haired girl. "I'll have children when I'm ready" She says but hidden in her voice there is a tone of doubt that goes unnoticed by her mother.

Ever so often her head would turn to the large window in the middle of the wall to the world outside. The breeze moving the leaves of the trees in a beautiful motion that makes her wish she was out there in the world. Sighing she continues to sweep. "Honestly, how can they be so messy?" Her mother asks and it's clear that she does not like this. The question was not meant for her daughter to answer as it was more her talking to herself.

Before either of them knew the dining hall was clean once again and all was left was washing the trays and put all the jam jars into the fridge. "Mom, I can do this. You take a break, you've been working so hard lately" The ice blue-eyed girl offers with a kind smile on her face. "Are you sure you can handle it?" Her mother asks her as the parent doesn't want her child to work too much. She nods at her mother. "Of course, I'll be fine" She replies and pushes the metal frame rolling tray to the kitchen while her mother goes the other way.

"You have fun" She calls after her mother. "You too" Her mother calls back teasing her as she's going to do the work while she can rest and to Valentina she deserves it. "I will" She mutters to herself while rolling the tray. As she's alone her mind goes back into the sorrow state and the poisoned thoughts continue to circle and echo in her head and never leave her alone. The emptiness of the hallways don't help her either as they only remind her of what she has lost.

It did not take long for her as she was done in a half an hour. The day was hers to spend and all she felt was gloom hanging over her. Opening a drawer and taking out what she needs she smiles at the object in her hands. Figuring she has spent enough time inside she goes outside on the outdoor platform that is on the other side of the mansion and leads deeper into the forest. The fresh air hits her right in the face when she steps out and she can only close her eyes and take a deep breath of the wonderful smell.

The birds chirping and the sounds of the forest alive in front of her puts a smile on her face and makes her forget all the sadness that threatens her every second of her life. Sitting down in the grass just and her back against the mansion outside wall she looks at the object in her hands, a paperback book. To kill a mockingbird by Harper Lee. The book itself is old and the pages have turned slightly yellow from old age yet the book is well cared for by the owner before her.

On the first page are words written in her father's handwriting. When darkness sinks its claw in you, all you have to do is fight back ~ Love dad. Closing the book again and just staring at the cover of it a stray tear fall down from her right on the back of her hand that holds the book. Sniffing her head looks up into the forest as she hugs the book close to her chest. The breeze kissing her bare arms reminding her that she still wears the same clothes from last night and are not suitable for the weather that is not as hot as one might believe. The sun fools with the rays that touch the world.

The trees ever so beautiful in her eyes, the green leaves moving in a graceful harmony that almost looks magical in her eyes. When blurriness takes over her vision she rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. Stopping herself from letting out a sob the ice blue-eyed girl takes a few deep breaths to calm herself down as breaking down in mid daylight is not her plan. The grassy ground beneath her tickling her feet.

One of her hands goes down and plays with the grass while she pulls her legs closer to her chest. Her other hand holds the book like it's the most precious thing to her and not wanting to let go and it is. A bird lands gracefully on a branch in the tree near the house. Watching the bird with interests and wishing that she could own a pair of wings to take her away from all the pain and the hollowness in her heart. Flying away would make her feel free and be able to embrace the person living inside of her that awaits to be let out and be free

Clutching the book in her chest and holding it close to her beating heart calms her down and helps her dream away of flying higher and go further than her eyes can see. Go wherever the wind takes her. Away from the pain and the hurt and all the things that remind her of everything she has lost and how she can never get it back. Closing her eyes and laying her head backwards on the wall. The golden haired girl allows the sun rays to kiss her face while she sits there.