《Lost Dreams Book Club》Story to review
Advertisement
Note: DO NOT PUT YOUR REVIEW IN THE COMMENTS ON THIS CHAPTER. We'd like your review sent to us in a PM. Reviews in the comments here will be deleted! This is so that others can't simply copy your review.
Before we pair you up with partners, we'd like to see how good you are at reviewing someone's story. It is important that you know how to review a story, because your partners are putting that much effort into your book, too. So, if this is your first time reviewing, please read the chapter to understand how reviewing works and what we expect from you.
Once you've read through that chapter and think you are ready to write us a review, read the story below. Write your review and send it to us in a PM. Normally, you'd probably write inline comments to point out grammar or spelling errors. For this task, inline comments are not necessary. Instead, if you'd like to comment on grammar, punctuation and spelling, write one example in your review. You don't have to point them all out; that would get tedious.
We do not expect you to point out every single little mistake in your review. We expect you to review the way you'd review your partner's book. Therefore, make sure to comment on at least these areas:
Plot development;
Character development;
Descriptions and/or world building;
Writing technique (including writing style and grammar/spelling/punctuation, etc.);
Overall enjoyment as a reader.
Good luck and enjoy this little story!
I woke with a light shining into my eyes from outside the tent. "What the...?"
I struggled to get out of my sleeping bag, crawl over my shoes, and poke my head out. The night was cool on my bald spot, but I didn't notice. Up above me, I saw... Wait, what the hell is that?... an alien ship.
"Marge!" I stage whispered to my wife, pulling my head back into the tent as I held the flaps closed for dear life. My wife didn't stir; she could sleep through a freight train.
"Marge!" I said again, as loud as I dared, which wasn't much louder than before.
Advertisement
"What!" she said, sitting bolt upright, confused about where she was. She looked at me with a blank expression on her face. Her red hair was wild, almost creating a look of flames around her like a halo.
"Marge, there's an alien spaceship outside the tent. What do we do?"
"Charlie... a spaceship? Really?" She came to her senses and looked at me as if I were an idiot. In this case, I was not.
"Come see for yourself." I watched as she poked her head through the tent flap.
"Holy crap. That... that really is a flying saucer. They're here!" Marge, being the braver of the two of us, clambered out of the tent to stand there, neck craned back, and watched what the ship was going to do. I felt obligated, though not at all enthused, to scramble out after her. I brandished the flashlight... you know, for protection. Just in case.
None of our other friends had stirred. Each of the other three tents were dark. I could even heard Robert snoring. I didn't understand how they could be sleeping through this whole thing. I mean, that light was like a floodlight when it passed outside our tent. Who sleeps through that?
The ship was saucer-shaped, ringed in lights, with a dome on the top. Classic Area 51. The lights were whirling around it, making it look like it was a spinning top of some sort. It hovered above us, silently, sweeping a beam of light back and forth along the canyon floor.
The beam passed overhead before quickly changing directions and focusing on us with its full intensity. I felt like I was under a microscope or something and tried not to huddle behind my wife. She, on the other hand, was standing tall, shading her eyes, so she could get a good view. The beam narrowed to shine solely on Marge. This was not boding well for our heroes.
"Marge!" I stage whispered again, pulling at her arm. "Marge! Get out of the light before they beam you up or something. They'll, like, probe you and stuff and try to make you have alien hybrid children!"
Advertisement
She had the sense to step away when I pulled her. And, it was a good thing, too, because there was something coming down that beam. We both watched, her with wide-eyed curiosity, me in abject horror. I really did try to not to huddle behind her, but I must say, I was failing miserably.
As whatever it was that was being lowered got to the treetops, it slowed its decent until it was just overhead. That's when Martha all but shouted, "It's a baby!"
Oh sweet Jesus, I thought. She's gonna want to take it home, I just know it. Martha wasn't one to leave a stray anything anywhere.
The baby landed softly, it's long three-fingered hand and huge black eyes all too apparent. Not to mention the grey skin and noseless face. It blinked at us in the bright light, reaching for Martha.
"Oh!" Martha said, "They're leaving it for us!"
"Martha!" I said, "You can't possibly be thinking what I think you're thinking." I tried to sound firm, but it came out more like a plea.
"And just what would that be, Charlie? What am I thinking? Am I thinking of leaving it out here in the forest?" She put her hands on her hips and all but stomped her foot. "Of course not! We're taking it home."
Damnit. "We can't take that thing home, Martha! Look at it! How in the hell would we hide it?"
"Charlie," she said with that voice while giving me that look. "We'll make it work."
She reached for it. I just knew that something bad was going to happen. "Don't touch it, Marge! You... you don't know where it's been! It could have some disease..."
I got that look again as she paused in her reach. She tsked me and then touched the thing. I swear to you the thing giggled, then, before our eyes, it transformed itself into a little version of Martha. Red hair, green eyes, pale skin... the works. Thing looked totally human.
It was creepy as hell.
"See?" I whispered again, "I told you! You shouldn't have touched it!"
Of course, by now, she's picking it up and cooing to it as it giggled some more in her arms. What was it with women and giggling babies?
I chanced another look up at the spaceship and saw another delivery coming down. It was a backpack of formula, bottles, clothing, diapers... the works. Everything we'd need for the baby for the next several days. Just long enough for us to hike out of the canyon back to the car.
"Martha! You can't really be thinking of taking that thing home with us?" I asked, voice nearly squeaking.
Martha whirled on me, clutching the baby to her. "We are. And you will like it," she said, vehemently, her face contorting in anger.
I stumbled back in surprise at the onslaught of emotion, tripped over a root, and landed smack on my ass at her feet. Her eyes were completely black. Alien, even.
"Charlie. Look at me. Look into my eyes, Charlie," she ordered.
I couldn't help but do what she said. I found myself lost in the deep stillness of those dark pools. And, soon, a sense of calm came over me.
She handed me the baby as I reached up for her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I looked up at my wife with tears in my eyes. "We have a baby, Martha. A daughter, just like we've always wanted."
She smiled and nodded at me, sitting beside me to coo at the baby some more. Suddenly, the light from the ship flicked off and it zoomed silently out of sight. It barely registered to me; I was lost in the giggles of my new daughter.
It looked like I was going to be taking on Martha's pack while she carried our child home. A struggle for a scrawny man like me, but totally worth it.
I was sure our friends would agree.
Advertisement
- In Serial45 Chapters
The Great Conqueror
This story follows Wesley Holt.The first born of a King who lost his position as the first prince because he had no talent in both the sword and magic. Cast into the world in virtual exile by his own father, follow him as he discovered his calling and embarks on this path and eventually stands at the pinnacle of the world.**Dropped......................................................................................................................................................Author's Note.Just read the damn story. I can't write summaries if my life depended on it.
8 147 - In Serial116 Chapters
Stygian Mage
"Welcome Traveler."It was what Soren first heard when he met an impossibly strange man in a horrendously strange world, where fantasy became reality. Now, stranded in the unknown world, Soren must make use of the discovery that strength is all that matters in this world, and try to get himself back home--That is, If he's able to find his way. But there is always more behind the veil of uncertainty, and Soren must be deathly sure of the decisions he makes. After all, curiosity can kill more than just cats. [Author: This is the first story I have ever written so have mercy on me. Bear with me please if I make any mistakes. I welcome all sorts of criticism as it will help me improve. Hope you guys like it.] PS: This story will contain explicit sexual content and profanities. The Mc is not a good guy in this story so don’t expect a nice Mc who will help others regardless of his well-being. P.P.S: The cover image is not owned by me. I used Adobe Spark to combine and edit some free images. P.P.P.S: Also posting on Webnovel, Moonquill, Wattpad, and Scribblehub. Edit: I thought I should add this in here because it seems to be a problem for many people--My inspirations came from mainly chinese webnovels, so my writing style resembled that a lot at start. I just wanted to leave a note here for people who don't like such stuff. I've already improved a lot and changed my style in recent chs, so hope you guys give it a try before dropping prematurely if that's your reason. Furthermore, I will also be editing all the early chs in the near future to make the quality similar to the recent chs. Current Schedule: 1 ch / week [On Saturdays]. [Will be increasing the release rate once I'm comfortable with this speed].
8 110 - In Serial11 Chapters
The Tower Trials
"The Towers have stood for centuries. They offer riches and power in equal measure to those that are brave, strong, and lucky enough to overcome their Trials. Isaac has arrived in time for the annual Novice Trial where young men and women aged 16 through 18 are set to enter the Tower for their first time. Novice Trials are a rite of passage, and though one is not required to take it, one cannot develop their Mana System without it. However, the trials are deadly, and there are always some that go in, but never come out. Regardless of the danger, Novice Trials are required for entry into any of the four grand academies. Those that survive the trials are able to gain experience and level-up as they ascend the different floors of the Towers." The Tower Trials is my first attempt at writing. Reviews and constructive criticism are highly encouraged and appreciated!
8 217 - In Serial30 Chapters
Extant Expanse
The answer to an overpopulated, unemployed, robot replaced, under-resourced, power crisis, climate crisis, a poverty-stricken world, where the few have and most have not? It took a few decades of technology development, a few genius minds, and a few corporate takeovers, and a planet in crisis. Yet that answer should be obvious. * * * This is a first time writing attempt. I have no idea what's going to happen or where this story is headed. I simply had an idea for a story I wanted to explore. Fanfiction elements. I hope to release monthly, no guarantees though. * * * Unknown Cover Art
8 93 - In Serial39 Chapters
Tooth And Claw || Kellic (mpreg) ✔
Their kind doesn't exactly mix. But that doesn't stop them from falling for each other.The werecats are pretty strict on not becoming mates with a creature who is not of their own kind, while the werewolves are pretty laid back on it, and believe that they can be mates with any creature, like werecats, wererabbits, any werecreatures except vampires of course.But they both have one rule that they both stick to no matter what; Never bare children with someone who is not the same creature as you.Word Count: 67k
8 576 - In Serial46 Chapters
she could write it down on her journal but she wants you to read it
sometimes it's personal. || Copyright©2015-All Rights Reserved
8 197

