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I woke with a light shining into my eyes from outside the tent. "What the...?"

I struggled to get out of my sleeping bag, crawl over my shoes, and poke my head out. The night was cool on my bald spot, but I didn't notice. Up above me, I saw... Wait, what the hell is that?... an alien ship.

"Marge!" I stage whispered to my wife, pulling my head back into the tent as I held the flaps closed for dear life. My wife didn't stir; she could sleep through a freight train.

"Marge!" I said again, as loud as I dared, which wasn't much louder than before.

"What!" she said, sitting bolt upright, confused about where she was. She looked at me with a blank expression on her face. Her red hair was wild, almost creating a look of flames around her like a halo.

"Marge, there's an alien spaceship outside the tent. What do we do?"

"Charlie... a spaceship? Really?" She came to her senses and looked at me as if I were an idiot. In this case, I was not.

"Come see for yourself." I watched as she poked her head through the tent flap.

"Holy crap. That... that really is a flying saucer. They're here!" Marge, being the braver of the two of us, clambered out of the tent to stand there, neck craned back, and watched what the ship was going to do. I felt obligated, though not at all enthused, to scramble out after her. I brandished the flashlight... you know, for protection. Just in case.

None of our other friends had stirred. Each of the other three tents were dark. I could even heard Robert snoring. I didn't understand how they could be sleeping through this whole thing. I mean, that light was like a floodlight when it passed outside our tent. Who sleeps through that?

The ship was saucer-shaped, ringed in lights, with a dome on the top. Classic Area 51. The lights were whirling around it, making it look like it was a spinning top of some sort. It hovered above us, silently, sweeping a beam of light back and forth along the canyon floor.

The beam passed overhead before quickly changing directions and focusing on us with its full intensity. I felt like I was under a microscope or something and tried not to huddle behind my wife. She, on the other hand, was standing tall, shading her eyes, so she could get a good view. The beam narrowed to shine solely on Marge. This was not boding well for our heroes.

"Marge!" I stage whispered again, pulling at her arm. "Marge! Get out of the light before they beam you up or something. They'll, like, probe you and stuff and try to make you have alien hybrid children!"

She had the sense to step away when I pulled her. And, it was a good thing, too, because there was something coming down that beam. We both watched, her with wide-eyed curiosity, me in abject horror. I really did try to not to huddle behind her, but I must say, I was failing miserably.

As whatever it was that was being lowered got to the treetops, it slowed its decent until it was just overhead. That's when Martha all but shouted, "It's a baby!"

Oh sweet Jesus, I thought. She's gonna want to take it home, I just know it. Martha wasn't one to leave a stray anything anywhere.

The baby landed softly, it's long three-fingered hand and huge black eyes all too apparent. Not to mention the grey skin and noseless face. It blinked at us in the bright light, reaching for Martha.

"Oh!" Martha said, "They're leaving it for us!"

"Martha!" I said, "You can't possibly be thinking what I think you're thinking." I tried to sound firm, but it came out more like a plea.

"And just what would that be, Charlie? What am I thinking? Am I thinking of leaving it out here in the forest?" She put her hands on her hips and all but stomped her foot. "Of course not! We're taking it home."

Damnit. "We can't take that thing home, Martha! Look at it! How in the hell would we hide it?"

"Charlie," she said with that voice while giving me that look. "We'll make it work."

She reached for it. I just knew that something bad was going to happen. "Don't touch it, Marge! You... you don't know where it's been! It could have some disease..."

I got that look again as she paused in her reach. She tsked me and then touched the thing. I swear to you the thing giggled, then, before our eyes, it transformed itself into a little version of Martha. Red hair, green eyes, pale skin... the works. Thing looked totally human.

It was creepy as hell.

"See?" I whispered again, "I told you! You shouldn't have touched it!"

Of course, by now, she's picking it up and cooing to it as it giggled some more in her arms. What was it with women and giggling babies?

I chanced another look up at the spaceship and saw another delivery coming down. It was a backpack of formula, bottles, clothing, diapers... the works. Everything we'd need for the baby for the next several days. Just long enough for us to hike out of the canyon back to the car.

"Martha! You can't really be thinking of taking that thing home with us?" I asked, voice nearly squeaking.

Martha whirled on me, clutching the baby to her. "We are. And you will like it," she said, vehemently, her face contorting in anger.

I stumbled back in surprise at the onslaught of emotion, tripped over a root, and landed smack on my ass at her feet. Her eyes were completely black. Alien, even.

"Charlie. Look at me. Look into my eyes, Charlie," she ordered.

I couldn't help but do what she said. I found myself lost in the deep stillness of those dark pools. And, soon, a sense of calm came over me.

She handed me the baby as I reached up for her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I looked up at my wife with tears in my eyes. "We have a baby, Martha. A daughter, just like we've always wanted."

She smiled and nodded at me, sitting beside me to coo at the baby some more. Suddenly, the light from the ship flicked off and it zoomed silently out of sight. It barely registered to me; I was lost in the giggles of my new daughter.

It looked like I was going to be taking on Martha's pack while she carried our child home. A struggle for a scrawny man like me, but totally worth it.

I was sure our friends would agree.