《Lost Dreams Book Club》Story to review
Advertisement
Note: DO NOT PUT YOUR REVIEW IN THE COMMENTS ON THIS CHAPTER. We'd like your review sent to us in a PM. Reviews in the comments here will be deleted! This is so that others can't simply copy your review.
Before we pair you up with partners, we'd like to see how good you are at reviewing someone's story. It is important that you know how to review a story, because your partners are putting that much effort into your book, too. So, if this is your first time reviewing, please read the chapter to understand how reviewing works and what we expect from you.
Once you've read through that chapter and think you are ready to write us a review, read the story below. Write your review and send it to us in a PM. Normally, you'd probably write inline comments to point out grammar or spelling errors. For this task, inline comments are not necessary. Instead, if you'd like to comment on grammar, punctuation and spelling, write one example in your review. You don't have to point them all out; that would get tedious.
We do not expect you to point out every single little mistake in your review. We expect you to review the way you'd review your partner's book. Therefore, make sure to comment on at least these areas:
Plot development;
Character development;
Descriptions and/or world building;
Writing technique (including writing style and grammar/spelling/punctuation, etc.);
Overall enjoyment as a reader.
Good luck and enjoy this little story!
I woke with a light shining into my eyes from outside the tent. "What the...?"
I struggled to get out of my sleeping bag, crawl over my shoes, and poke my head out. The night was cool on my bald spot, but I didn't notice. Up above me, I saw... Wait, what the hell is that?... an alien ship.
"Marge!" I stage whispered to my wife, pulling my head back into the tent as I held the flaps closed for dear life. My wife didn't stir; she could sleep through a freight train.
"Marge!" I said again, as loud as I dared, which wasn't much louder than before.
Advertisement
"What!" she said, sitting bolt upright, confused about where she was. She looked at me with a blank expression on her face. Her red hair was wild, almost creating a look of flames around her like a halo.
"Marge, there's an alien spaceship outside the tent. What do we do?"
"Charlie... a spaceship? Really?" She came to her senses and looked at me as if I were an idiot. In this case, I was not.
"Come see for yourself." I watched as she poked her head through the tent flap.
"Holy crap. That... that really is a flying saucer. They're here!" Marge, being the braver of the two of us, clambered out of the tent to stand there, neck craned back, and watched what the ship was going to do. I felt obligated, though not at all enthused, to scramble out after her. I brandished the flashlight... you know, for protection. Just in case.
None of our other friends had stirred. Each of the other three tents were dark. I could even heard Robert snoring. I didn't understand how they could be sleeping through this whole thing. I mean, that light was like a floodlight when it passed outside our tent. Who sleeps through that?
The ship was saucer-shaped, ringed in lights, with a dome on the top. Classic Area 51. The lights were whirling around it, making it look like it was a spinning top of some sort. It hovered above us, silently, sweeping a beam of light back and forth along the canyon floor.
The beam passed overhead before quickly changing directions and focusing on us with its full intensity. I felt like I was under a microscope or something and tried not to huddle behind my wife. She, on the other hand, was standing tall, shading her eyes, so she could get a good view. The beam narrowed to shine solely on Marge. This was not boding well for our heroes.
"Marge!" I stage whispered again, pulling at her arm. "Marge! Get out of the light before they beam you up or something. They'll, like, probe you and stuff and try to make you have alien hybrid children!"
Advertisement
She had the sense to step away when I pulled her. And, it was a good thing, too, because there was something coming down that beam. We both watched, her with wide-eyed curiosity, me in abject horror. I really did try to not to huddle behind her, but I must say, I was failing miserably.
As whatever it was that was being lowered got to the treetops, it slowed its decent until it was just overhead. That's when Martha all but shouted, "It's a baby!"
Oh sweet Jesus, I thought. She's gonna want to take it home, I just know it. Martha wasn't one to leave a stray anything anywhere.
The baby landed softly, it's long three-fingered hand and huge black eyes all too apparent. Not to mention the grey skin and noseless face. It blinked at us in the bright light, reaching for Martha.
"Oh!" Martha said, "They're leaving it for us!"
"Martha!" I said, "You can't possibly be thinking what I think you're thinking." I tried to sound firm, but it came out more like a plea.
"And just what would that be, Charlie? What am I thinking? Am I thinking of leaving it out here in the forest?" She put her hands on her hips and all but stomped her foot. "Of course not! We're taking it home."
Damnit. "We can't take that thing home, Martha! Look at it! How in the hell would we hide it?"
"Charlie," she said with that voice while giving me that look. "We'll make it work."
She reached for it. I just knew that something bad was going to happen. "Don't touch it, Marge! You... you don't know where it's been! It could have some disease..."
I got that look again as she paused in her reach. She tsked me and then touched the thing. I swear to you the thing giggled, then, before our eyes, it transformed itself into a little version of Martha. Red hair, green eyes, pale skin... the works. Thing looked totally human.
It was creepy as hell.
"See?" I whispered again, "I told you! You shouldn't have touched it!"
Of course, by now, she's picking it up and cooing to it as it giggled some more in her arms. What was it with women and giggling babies?
I chanced another look up at the spaceship and saw another delivery coming down. It was a backpack of formula, bottles, clothing, diapers... the works. Everything we'd need for the baby for the next several days. Just long enough for us to hike out of the canyon back to the car.
"Martha! You can't really be thinking of taking that thing home with us?" I asked, voice nearly squeaking.
Martha whirled on me, clutching the baby to her. "We are. And you will like it," she said, vehemently, her face contorting in anger.
I stumbled back in surprise at the onslaught of emotion, tripped over a root, and landed smack on my ass at her feet. Her eyes were completely black. Alien, even.
"Charlie. Look at me. Look into my eyes, Charlie," she ordered.
I couldn't help but do what she said. I found myself lost in the deep stillness of those dark pools. And, soon, a sense of calm came over me.
She handed me the baby as I reached up for her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I looked up at my wife with tears in my eyes. "We have a baby, Martha. A daughter, just like we've always wanted."
She smiled and nodded at me, sitting beside me to coo at the baby some more. Suddenly, the light from the ship flicked off and it zoomed silently out of sight. It barely registered to me; I was lost in the giggles of my new daughter.
It looked like I was going to be taking on Martha's pack while she carried our child home. A struggle for a scrawny man like me, but totally worth it.
I was sure our friends would agree.
Advertisement
- In Serial81 Chapters
The Humble Life of a Skill Trainer
For Joshua Still, Skills were the lifeblood of his business. He wanted to understand them, collect many of them, and teach a few of them. Which was a problem because while his profession of a Skill Trainer was perfectly legal, it was frowned upon by most of the kingdom. After all, it wouldn't do for a non-tailor to teach Tailoring. Or, so says the Tailors Guild. The same could be said by the Blacksmiths, the Bakers, the Butchers, the Candlestick Makers, the Mages, and every other Guild with enough money and clout to complain. But still, Skill Trainers provide a valuable service, and so he has managed to start his business and keep it under the table. To a degree. With many a bribe. But his quiet anonymous life of research, practice, and training was about to change. When the Baron demands you pay him a visit, you have little choice.
8 300 - In Serial38 Chapters
Raider (A VRMMO Novel)
Matthew is a productive member of society, always showing up to work on time, always paying his bills, he is the picture perfect working man in this modern 22nd century workforce. Everyone who knows him thinks of him fondly as a kind, respectful young man, when the work day is over however something changes… Something snaps… After spending the entire day lying to himself and everyone else he finds himself in the desiccated streets of New Earth Online, a Niche virtual reality reality mass multiplayer game, where he is known simply as the Raider… The question now is can he reliably juggle his two identities? There is also the matter of that A.I. that let herself into his head and seems to have confused the word love with obsession… This should prove interesting... Author's note: Ok, so here we are, this is my first attempt at writing a Vrmmo novel, we shall see what it holds, updates are on Saturdays and Sundays, you can expect this one to have a lot of the same elements of my other novels, including a harem and sex, very descriptive sex...
8 236 - In Serial30 Chapters
Breathtaking (LozBOTW Link X Reader)
Living amongst the ruins of Hyrule for years can strengthen a person far beyond what they'd originally planned. What will become of (y/n) when she is tasked with defending the reincarnated Hero of Time? Will she be strong enough to aid him in the defeat of Calamity Ganon, and could she ever allow herself to fall in love with the Hero along the way?Cover by @mmimmzel on Twitter
8 195 - In Serial13 Chapters
Dear Asshole || ✓
letters of a girl with unfinished business.
8 74 - In Serial59 Chapters
A Dangerous Woman (A Fay Cunningham Mystery-Book 1)
Fay Cunningham, publisher of a small-town Pennsylvania newspaper, is having a well deserved midlife crisis. Both nicotine-and calorie-deprived, she stays busy delivering the paper she publishes in order to get closer to her customer base, craving inspiration, a smoke, and a cheeseburger. But she discovers something odd going on behind the closed doors of her trusted friend Joe Wise. Like, where is he and who is the mysterious blonde rudely blocking Fay's entry to his house?Adding to the puzzle, Fay learns that Joe's brother and biggest rival, Thomas, has just died under strange circumstances. Joe was Fay's professional benefactor and her journalistic instincts kick into overdrive. But first, she has to get past Angel, Joe's hostile and secretive new companion. And when Fay's questions get too personal, a killer makes lethal plans to send Fay into permanent retirement....
8 177 - In Serial38 Chapters
Naruto: The Best ANBU
What if Naruto Uzumaki was smarter than he let on? What if Naruto was the smartest of his generation? What if Naruto was stronger than he seemed? What if Naruto was the famous ANBU Captain Killer Fox?What if these are not 'what if's'? I do not own any pics/videos used, and I do not own Naruto and any other characters other than any of my oc.(This book builds up so much, but is pretty anticlimactic. This was my first fanfic, so don't expect to much.)
8 281

