Chapter 1: Resurfacing

Aquamarine

The beginning was a world of extremes, and light had entered my form for the first time. It was dim, almost nothing, and yet still absolutely blinding. As my newfound sense of sight came into focus I gazed at the world around me. Small, finite and enclosed. Opaque yet glassy walls of a lightish blue hue surrounded me. They had arranged themselves in an orderly structure, one not to dissimilar from a rectangular prism. At its center was me.

I tried to get a good look at myself but I struggled, my field of vision seeming to include everything but me. It was only after deciding to fold the energy that made up my consciousness could I even catch a glimpse. My appearance could be described as a deep blue glow surrounded by a thin membrane of soft waves reminiscent of sea foam. What appeared to be a blue grayish mist filled the space I occupied, and though it was not a part of me it still bent to my will.

My mind had finished its development and the world was bare, but compared to before… well this was preferable. I finally was. And even though the world I was born to was evidently limited I took pleasure in its simplicity, in being able to feel those limits. My energy is contained and focused now, but back then it was sporadic and inconsistent. Back then it was almost as if there was nothing. The grains of sand that I used to be have since been unified into this pane of glass. I am whole.

The first thing I did was push my energy to the limits of my chamber and tried to reach beyond. Though a part of the mist managed to break through, my perception did not go with it. Despite seeming to accomplish nothing I was determined, and cast more and more of my mana at the wall. As I continued to desperately try and break down these walls I felt a great weight start to gather atop my mind. The flow of energy slowed, and then stopped. I was left dazed, and my mind felt like it was starting to fragment once again. My sight started to become spotty and I lost sight of a few of the walls surrounding me. I was left senseless once again and started to panic.

Feelings of disappointment, worry, betrayal, and anger stormed within me. A riptide of intense emotions towards the worlds sick sense of humor began to pull at my mind. But luckily relief started to trickle in when I realized that how I felt didn't matter, because at least I still could. As the waters within started to still themselves I am able to lessen the tearing at my mind. It seems that I acted too rashly in that moment, I should have tested my limits first before trying to expand them. I once again silence my mind, deeming it unproductive and waited for sight to return to me.

Walls appear one after another and a silent tension seems to relieve itself. I wasn't completely sure my vision would come back, but luckily it had. Though I no longer felt like my mind was struggling to hold together I still felt a slight weight upon it. Even still, I once again took hold of the mist within me, but with a much steadier pace. I slowly concentrate a small amount of mist, taking my time and making sure the weight doesn't grow heavier, and as I do it becomes reminiscent of the seafoam membrane surrounding my core. As I slowly draw more and more energy my field of vision expands to the surface of it. I finally get a good look at myself and feel a great comfort at the sight. I look like an ocean of mana, with light blue waves falling and rising around my deep sea core. The gray mist seeming to rise from the waves as they crashed and being engulfed as they raised. If there was one word to describe it, It would have to be mesmerizing.

Distracted by the sight I almost lose my grip on the sea foam and my second vision starts to fade, luckily I manage to grasp onto it firmly before it dissipates completely. After finally understanding my appearance I turn my attention to the parts of my view I had been neglecting. It seemed this new sea foam membrane I had created gave me a much clearer vision of the opaque walls. In fact it appeared they became less and less opaque the closer I brought this gathered energy towards them. Approaching one of the walls with it revealed that it was actually see through, all that was visible on the other side being the dark. Bringing my new sensory organ to each of the walls garnered fairly similar results, however as I approached the final one, which was one of the two largest, I found something different. Rather than darkness I saw a solid object, a light gray.

The fatigue within myself caught up with me, and so I released the energy from my grasp, and it was once again spread throughout my form. I let my mind stand still as I waited for the weight atop it to lift.

With my mind rested I once again gathered up the energy within me and my vision grew. This time I take it to the edge of my form. As I spread it out across the walls I found that I could see everything in the world all at once, or at least until I realized there was more. Having settled on the edges it became clear that what I once believed to be an empty space within the glass walls was in fact solid. My vision finally escaped what I could only conclude was my body, and I was greeted by yet more walls.

The energy held at my surface slowly began to settle, requiring less and less effort to hold in place, and it soon became effortless. I started slowly leaking a strange mist as I continued to lift despite no longer needing to. It was warm and comforting and it helped ease the burden on my mind, so I pushed with all of my might. A white fog spread from my body and dulled my newfound sense of sight.

I didn’t care, for no longer would I flow through the air. Unthinking, unfeeling. Why fret over a lost sense when I have already gained so much. I could finally move of my own will, towards my own ends. Monsters and Mage’s be damned. I was a tool no longer, and so I spread this fog until I could feel its warmth across my newfound surface. I felt pure bliss as the steam condensed to water on my cold body, and basked in the warmth of this pitch black I had created.

I tuned out my newfound sight and focused my thoughts, these were new too. As I expanded outside of myself suddenly my awareness grew to that of outside my immediate circumstances. Ideas such as mages and monsters, and innate knowledge of what I am.

I was just born, and yet I know of words and ideas I have no right to know. I also have enough knowledge to know that knowledge must be gained from somewhere else, that it must be experienced or discovered. Why do I have any precedent for that? If I just knew things naturally I wouldn't question it, but clearly my knowledge dictates that this is abnormal.

The answer must lie in the before times.

I shudder at the thought, but clearly the only way I could know is before. What even was before? A time without perception or intent. A time where I flowed through the world like magic now flows through me. But how would I gain knowledge? I ask myself this as I gaze within and see the faint energy that permeates my interior, as it is light by the brilliant blue of my mind. I focus on that energy and find snippets of information.

A torrent of short and sporadic actions and objects, as well as Ideas and concepts flow through my mind. A split glimpse of a giant creature, a fraction of a spell, numbers, a grand view of a lake, A traveling band of water mages, the bottom of a coral reef, the alphabet, two animals fighting, a town bustling, both abstract shapes and concrete geometry, and a boat full of fisherman. All of these crash against my mind like the tumultuous waves of a stormy ocean. I unfocused my thoughts and waited for the stream of information to relax.

Well that answers that.

I look back within myself and notice the sea foam is gone, having all taken residence on my surface. The pieces click into place. Now that I surround the mana I am passively perceiving it and gaining knowledge from it, as it passes through this pseudo membrane I’ve formed. which is why when it only covered my core I did not have this level of awareness.

My energy starts to stir as I think of an idea, what would happen if I tried to cover this entire room? It's probably hundreds of times larger than my paltry form and would likely bring me knowledge I can’t even dream of at the moment. Tendrils of energy start to gather within but I relax myself. I am reminded of my original attempt to see outside and decide against it. I had already proven that a calm stream leads to smooth sailing.

Satisfied with my conclusions I settled down. So I guess my knowledge of things I should have no knowledge of comes from being used by wizards and monsters and my time floating about the world. And despite my recent expansion of awareness outside of basic language, water and the things relating to it the only concepts I understand are ones in my immediate circumstances. Trying to reach for knowledge outside of this quite literal box I'm in refuses to show itself.

In spite of my obvious limitations a few paths forward present themselves, such as a more mobile body, and perhaps seeing more of the world will jog more of my memory. Well I guess they aren't really my memories are they? I wasn't exactly a person, I don’t think I’m one now. I’m more of an intelligence, since a person needs a form after all. As my mind wanders an idea strikes me, while I have pushed energy outside of myself, what would happen if I did that to my very being.

Intrigued by the idea I allow my consciousness to float towards the ceiling of my gem, coalescing at the top of my new body before I wrap it in a shell of the sea foam. I then gather all the energy below me and expand it until I am forced from the gem. Erupting in steam my body and mind were separated. I floated above the room, all being clear despite the darkness of before. A tiny blue gem rested on a marble column in this empty room filled with steam. a quick glance at the walls revealed they were made of unnaturally smooth stone all almost perfectly symmetrical in their distance to the upright gem.

I tried to gaze upon my new form, but it was once again the only dark spot in my new vision. Outside of my Gem all sensation was gone, even my sight. How I still managed to see was something even my innate knowledge didn’t cover. I guess this collection of memories has never experienced perception without sensation. I felt a strange urge to return to my gem as the creeping of pins and needles started filling the void of perception, including for sight which memory says shouldn't be possible.

I turned my focus to the walls behind me and gazed beyond them. It wasn’t like I could see through it, but I could sense what laid outside of it, and figured I could even pass through. I used the same technique I had used to push myself from my body and drifted forward. The buzzing only intensified as I grew further from my body and flew deeper into the outside world. To distract myself from the discomfort I shifted the focus of my vision regularly. As I finally freed myself from the wall I found myself in yet another larger room.

Large expanses of grass filled my perception and trees basked in the faint rays of light shooting down from an opening in the center of the crevice. Wildlife milled around the meadow surrounding a surprisingly dense forest. Flowers wilted the closer they crept to the stone floor encircling said meadow. This place must have been Thousands of times larger than my room. The trees closest to the center almost touching the highest ceiling I'd ever seen in my admittedly short life. Birds flew in and out from the giant crack in the earth that the light poured through and I envied them. To be able to take their body with them out into the unknown, I hoped that someday I could do the same.

As I shifted the focus of my gaze back and forth onto anything that moved I caught sight of a small, yet strange red energy. It was a reddish orange flame roaring around a seemingly solid black chunk. Its essence was strange, alien even. I even felt like it was my very opposite somehow. Despite these qualities it seemed so beyond underwhelming, like all I needed to do was flow past it and I wouldn't even notice. A part of me just wanted to get rid of it, another knew I could do so any time that I wished so I might as well try saying hi. In spite of these feelings I could put 2 and 2 together, after all the answer flew into my head right as I realized. That red flame is just like me.

Zircon

A Tremendous energy coursed through my intangible form as it roared like the flames I had created earlier. Though I had no idea how I ended up outside of my body it was still a feat to be celebrated. Looking out into the lush green expanse all that I could imagine was the trees stained with ash and the grass left dried and brown with my omnipotent flame consuming it all. Wherever I am it is obvious that this place was made to be my kindling.

As I marveled at the potential of my birthright I noticed a tiny blue ball floating towards me, and felt an instinctive fear. The way its white and bubbling surface rose and fell around its deep blue flowing core, It was activating every alarm my mind could muster. Though I couldn't put a... finger? on it, I knew that I couldn't let it touch me. Images of beautiful fires being beaten down into nothing but smoke by the very same waves of motion around that mist were blazed into my mind. I wanted to do something, but I was unable to think clearly. I floated there watching it move over to me, silently. It was like its very presence had turned my mind to embers, but a rush of air reinvigorated the fire in my heart, I refused to be put out this quickly! Quickly I bolted in the opposite direction.

I would be safe in my vessel, I had to be safe. I could ward it away with my flames and burn it away I'm sure of it. My floating mind fled back to the cavern walls, flying away at impossible speeds. Following the direction the natural urge to inhabit my gem called me I was able to cross that great distance in seconds. I entered my vessel so quickly it quaked and I quickly forced all of my energy to the edges of my body. It was teaming at each corner of me, just waiting for the last bit of force to send it into the air.

I will survive!

Aquamarine

Right as I started to approach the living flame it was drawn back at incredible speeds, shocking me. It was only then that I realized how pronounced the pins and needles had gotten. Perhaps staying out for too long causes that to happen? After all, they were out here before me. I decide to head back now as at least then it will be on my own terms. On the journey back I see more and more collections of colored mist creep from the rockface, though none of them fill me with the same sense of wrongness the red one did.

I took notice of the rockface, or rather the several other entrances into the cliffside. Many looked like natural extensions of the cave, while 2 bore a striking resemblance to my entrance. I figured perhaps after I've figured out a bit more I can pay them a visit. A mist seems to stop as it notices me but I ignore it and head back to my domain.

Core inside I dive into my preverbal bed. I guess I should continue to bask in the steam while I mull over what I should do next? It is clear that with an expansion of my magic came an expansion of my mind, so maybe I should figure out how to continue along that path.