Returning to my body, huddled on the tile floor, pain, hunger, and nausea accosted me from every direction. I forced it all into submission using my renewed strength. My eyes quickly adjusted to the light. A woman cowered behind the door to the bathroom and Jeff was kicking and punching me, yelling, “Let go! Tiff, are the police here yet?!”

My dress shirt, soaked in sticky blood, clung to me, and left a stain on the floor. My right hand had a firm grip on Jeff’s ankle. I used my left to grab higher on the other pant leg then moved my right further up. I continued my vertical crawl up the fabric of his clothes to my feet. As our eyes met, Jeff was overcome with fear, frantically trying to pull away. His steps backward were followed closely by my steps forward in a slow tango lead by my intimidation.

Once he had backstepped through the door, where a screaming woman fled replacing the female obstacle blocking the doorway. I slammed the door closed. My palm hit the space where the door met the frame, near the handle.

Within my mind’s eye, I touched a frozen tundra, an icy wind blowing snow across a landscape of white. It sent a chill through me as I opened a pathway from my soul to my body, directing the snow’s fall through the corridor. From my core through my arm, the cold manifested as a layer of frost mid-forearm. It thickened as the cold ran through my wrist and out of my palm. With a burst of power, the door welded closed with a thick bead of ice. Using my body as a conduit for the sky-blue energy residing within me, mastery over ice was at my fingertips.

I exhaled then rushed to the sink to throw up again. My heart beat hard and fast. The pain had subsided, but that just covered the damage enough for me to think straight. I had to continue triage before I wasted all my energy again, so I went to work.

There was a balance I needed to maintain. I had to heal enough to keep moving without dying, retain enough energy in my reserve, create a positive generation within my body so I wouldn’t deteriorate further, and hide the remaining damage from Shawn. Seemed easy of enough, and my brain was up to the task this time.

The urge to throw up again was approaching a dangerous threshold. It would be kind of hard to hide how bad of a shape I was in if I kept throwing up blood. That’s how I chose my stomach as top priority. I wasn’t sure if it would be faster to convert the energy into its purest form to efficiently heal or take advantage of the love at my disposal. Since Jeff had mentioned the police, I opted for the latter.

There were only keys and a wallet in my pocket, so my cellphone was hopefully sitting on my seat in the car. It was my only means of telling time, so I had no idea how much had passed. There was a war being waged in my body, energy was trying to tend to different injuries frantically, but I reigned it in around my stomach. My heart was beating so fast.

The healing went slowly, maybe I hadn’t chosen the right option. A few minutes went by, and my accelerated heartbeat hadn’t diminished since the end of my titillating encounter with the well-cushioned fast-food manager. There had to be something wrong there, too. I knew I had been hurt, but I hadn’t realized it was that badly. It was possible that some of it was self-inflicted. The level of strain my body was forced to endure during my fight with Cara must have caused much of the damage to my organs. I decided that partially fixing the burger storage organ to save my love organ was for the best. By that, I meant the love organ in my chest, not the one between my legs.

Sirens in the background told me I was running out of time. I sent energy throughout my muscles to sustain me and quickly washed my face and neck to remove any evidence of my bathroom struggles. I estimated that the energy I pulled from Jeff would be enough to maintain control of myself, keep up appearances, and have some power on standby if things got hairy. Hopefully burgers waited for me in Shawn’s car, so I ran to the door and yanked on it. Nothing happened.

Stupid ice, I thought. Not able to crack it with a few punches, I empowered the muscles in my arm and drew back my fist. Instead of breaking the ice, I crushed the frame and blew the door off its hinges. “Whoops,” I said, hesitating for a moment in disbelief. Shrugging, I ran toward the exit of the establishment.

The sun was bright overhead and the heat from the asphalt distorted the air. Shawn was shaking his head and making a what-in-the-world-have-you-been-doing gesture from the other side of his black and red convertible’s windshield. I sprinted to the car, ignoring the pain dulled by the energy surging through me. Hurdling over the passenger door, I signaled him frantically to go, expecting a chase like I had just robbed a bank and he was the getaway driver.

“What took you so long? That had to be the biggest dump of your life.” Shawn said with disdain, oblivious to the situation.

“Let’s go!” I shouted emphatically. The sirens had gotten much closer, and I actually had a reason to get arrested this time.

“Let me guess. You tried to kill a guy because he wouldn’t touch your special place?” Shawn asked with a smirk.

“What? No! What gave you that idea?” But it came out a little more defensive than intended.

“Some guy ran out of the restaurant like 10 minutes ago. He was holding himself like he’d just been violated and there was blood on him.” He explained. “Thought the odds were good.” It dawned on me that he was talking about the guy from the bathroom stall. I wasn’t sure if I had bitten him, torn out a piece of his soul, or he just got stained by my clothes. Either way, that wouldn’t be easy to explain away once the cops showed up.

“You’re right, we should probably go.” Shawn said shiftily. The blare of sirens and the flash of red and blue lights reflecting off houses were a clear indication of imminent police arrival. “I think the girl in the drive-through noticed the blood in the car.” He revealed.

“Nice going,” I scolded, exploiting the opportunity to further blame Shawn for his role in the day’s misfortune. The excitement of taking advantage of his culpability for the law’s presence was replaced by panic when a paunchy fellow in an apron burst out of the restaurant. Judging by his expression and the gun he was waving; I didn’t want to know what Jeff intended to do.

Startled, Shawn slammed on the gas and hastily turned the wheel. Our tires squealed, scrabbling for traction. After a moment, the rubber grasped the pavement, but not before the police flew into the parking lot. With our car in motion, I grabbed my seatbelt and kicked open the door. Using the seatbelt as a safety line, my body leaned out over the blacktop. I skid my hand along the pavement and pressed a chill into it. Frost trailed behind us through the turn, sending the police cruiser into a spin and collision with the building, narrowly missing the manager.

Pulling myself back into the car and shutting the door, I sent Shawn an icy glare, “This is literally the worst day ever. Thanks Shawn.” He eyed me after witnessing my use of ice powers, then shook his head with a scoff.

“It was probably your fault the police got called.” he said grudgingly, reaching into the back seat. His attention remained on the road, but from behind him, he pulled a large paper bag with a grease stain at the bottom. He practically threw it at me and spoke trying to hide his frustration, “Here, I got you your 15 sandwiches and threw in a kid’s meal so you would have a toy to play with instead of yourself.” I opened the bag and started devouring the contents immediately. He hadn’t been joking, there was a child’s portion of chicken nuggets, fries, and a little action figure from a film being promoted. It was a hero in a mask wearing spandex. That warmed my heart a little, he was so thoughtful.

Halfway through my burger jamboree, Shawn slowed the vehicle, a sign we had escaped pursuit. With a hesitance in his voice, words slowly came out of his mouth. “Jesse, you said Cara was going to need to come to have more healing done to her, right?” There was a somber, almost pained look on his face. “Don’t tell her that it was my fault.”

I responded to Shawn’s plea without the same hesitation, “Of course. Anything for you.” And I meant every word. He was my student, and I wanted the best for him. I could carry the burden for him, but he shot me an odd expression.

My opinion of Shawn had changed considerably throughout the day. He may have been conceded, but beneath his exquisitely chiseled exterior, he was a boy just trying to make a path for himself. I thought if I gave him another chance, he would pull through and make me proud. He was a good kid, and I did consider him my friend. Then I tensed.

Squinting, I smelled the air, then myself like I exuded a bad body odor, not that I did. “Oh death,” I whispered to myself. The feelings of love from Jeff were influencing my thoughts. On the other hand, we were stopped near a delicious group of ladies enjoying lunch at an outside diner. Before I could get out to dazzle them, however, the light turned green.

“What’s with you today? You’re acting so weird.” Shawn prodded.

“Oh nothing.” I sighed wistfully, mourning my missed opportunity.

“Whatever.” He huffed. “And now you have ice powers too?”

“Yeah, just a little something I picked up. Pretty cool, huh? No pun intended.” Then I winked at him before I could stop myself. Death help me.

“I seriously hate you.” He admonished shaking his head.

No other words passed between us during the drive. We approached the curb in front of my apartment with a bag of empty burger wrappers and a kid’s toy. I originally planned to leave both on the floor of the convertible but decided I really did want the action figure. It was a memento of my superhero days and that one time I saved a city from darkness. It was almost like it happened just yesterday, or even that day, I thought with amusement.

As we drove, Shawn’s face had gotten lower and lower as the consequences of his actions sunk in. With one foot out the door, I glanced in his direction. He didn’t turn toward me. His eyes were glued to the bottom of the steering wheel. I had remembered the guilt I saw when Mrs. Hasbrook had accused him of incompetence. He hadn’t chosen to walk the path of power. Shawn never asked for abilities, but he was trying his best to handle it. After all he’d been through and before everything went crazy, he probably felt a sense of accomplishment that the months of focus and practice were paying off. Even though he screwed up bringing Cara back, it was progress. I could lighten up on him a little and try to comfort him.

“Shawn,” I said with a concerned expression. He tried to hide his dismay when he redirected his eyes toward me. “You’re going to have to change before your tee time.” Then, with a smile, I turned and strut toward my apartment building without looking back.

The complex was high-end, but the atrium was dated. It had been converted to apartments from an upscale hotel. A high ceiling with large columns promised grandeur. Sconces lined the walls guiding you toward a carved wooden reception, turned security, desk. Marble tiles transitioned to carpet that for some reason reminded me of a Victorian era music hall or a Bavarian castle. It filled the space beyond the initial impression. It ran from the elevators all the way up the stairs and onto each floor. Dale was sitting at the security desk but wore a serious expression instead of a smile.

“What’s wrong, Dale?” I said in a chipper tone, still trying to mask my sorry state. Dale had the uncanny ability to read into me. It may have been the amount of time we’d known each other, but in that instance, it was most likely because I was covered in blood. I wasn’t going to be able to pull wool over his eyes.

The vivid world I had been experiencing faded to gray as I dropped the façade. My posture drooped and I just managed to keep myself upright leaning on his desk. The condition I was in had to be worse than I assessed to have used this much energy to keep me afloat during the drive. The conversion of Jeff’s energy was slow and without that process, I couldn’t actually use it to sustain my standard life functions.

“Another bad one?” Dale asked, more as a statement than a question. He came over and put my arm over his shoulder to hold me steady. My legs had lost the will to propel me forward. “You’ve been coming back drained more often lately, but you’ve never come back covered in blood.”

“You should see the other guy.” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“If you won the fight, you wouldn’t have been rolling around in blood.” He countered, “Unless, of course, you were a barbarian basking in your victory.” But his expression hadn’t changed. He wasn’t wrong with his assessment of my recent excursions. I had been spreading myself thin lately.

“Yeah, you’re right. But I didn’t have much of a choice.” It came out as a mix of resignation, frustration, and lust; the love drug hadn’t worn off yet. The constant stress of money and feeling like I wasn’t making enough of a difference weighed on my soul. The money was nice, but the desire to make a positive impact was the main thing that drove me. I had been thinking about it more lately and my past made the scale that compared the good and evil within me leaned heavily in the wrong direction. The dark burden I carried lessened each time I used my powers for good. It was a lie, but it was all I had. I had been pushing myself, and there was no one else to fall back on.

Beyond my gallant motivation to better the world, money still was a factor holding me back. The apartment was expensive, and bills were piling up. Getting rid of the apartment wouldn’t save me all that much. It wouldn’t make or break me and having the security was worth the cost. Also, being on the 12th floor, even though it was inconvenient, had its perks. If I ever had the urge to kill a random bystander, I could just drop something out the window.

Jokes aside, I didn’t have a safety net. My parents were gone; I hadn’t known how well-off Shawn had been, but there was no way I would admit to him that I was struggling; Dale was a good guy, but I didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness; I hardly went out and hadn’t stayed in touch with anyone from school; and unless I was about to die, I would not rely on my mentor for anything. I just didn’t have many friends, but it was better that way. The sort of day I was having was evidence enough. If things ever went too badly, I didn’t want them getting hurt.

“C’mon Jesse. You’re not as light as you look,” Dale complained. “I’m not going to drag you all the way to your apartment.” His comment pulled me from my contemplations. I tried to put weight on my legs, but they were shaking too much. The act of moving sent agony through me. He noticed. “What’s wrong?”

I winced and forced a weak smile, “I broke my legs.” I started coughing and my vision faded. Before I knew what was happening, Dale was carrying me like we were crossing the threshold as a married couple. A bing sounded, indicating the elevator’s arrival, but I couldn’t remember him pressing the call button. He wore a stern expression on his face and there were flecks of blood on his cheek.