Soon after dragging my defeated body through the front door, I sluggishly let myself fall backwards onto the living room sofa, letting out a relieving sigh while reaching for the MP3 Player in my pocket. My body, drenched in sweat from the terrible heat outdoors refused to move from this position. Since my Gym class forced us all to run a full mile today in that bright hot sun, I have since been exhausted and totally out of energy. And thanks to my asthma condition, even two hours after my run was over, it felt like I only finished about six minutes ago.

But after finally getting home from the bus and having the living room all to myself, I managed to relax in every way I could. Once I got my earphones and music player ready, I set the repeating track to one of the ancients I was still in love with even after a whole year of hearing it. Since it comes from a video game, the soundtrack has no real track data, but it felt something special, a song far out of the ordinary. Listening to it in any circumstance placed my mind into that familiar mental trance I used to have. Even though I have not had that trance too strongly as I used to, I started to miss how it made me feel. Since I was laying down, my aching body went to work on rest while my mind remained fully active, contemplating how life was going for me...

It's been nearly a month since I broke up with Malica. Even after all of that time, it was hard not to think about her. The same went for people in general. Since I stopped associated with those I used to hang out with, it's been very tough lately getting through each day of school. I've more or less immersed myself into books and gaming while at home. But at school, even though it seemed like I was fitting in with other students, it never lasted. Even Silla's group stopped talking to me lately, proving that their sole interest in me was based entirely off the fact that I liked the Twilight Series. It wasn't myself or my personality they were interested in. In fact, it might as well go to show that nobody at all likes me even a little.

Even though it's hard not to get lost in the daydreams, I do my best to be there in every single class, just so that I might get the chance to hang out with more people again. But everyone has their own life they are totally invested in, whether it be burying their head into their studies, or excluding weirdoes like me from their personal life. The point is, nobody cares about me; nobody pays me any attention, even when I try so hard to ignore my own introverted shyness and struggle to start a conversation.

But luckily, the return of that mental trance I was used to feeling last school year has made my situation a little easier. It's the reason I love feeling this way; because I don't have to think about how depressing or lonely my life is. It's the reason I wish other realities were real; the reason I missed songs like these charging my mind with uncontrollable thoughts about the cold blizzard of an unknown world, or about the infinite stars of the night sky. It is in all aspects the perfect distraction.

The beautiful music of my own addiction continued playing loudly on loop, changing my very own way of thinking as I allowed it to. Despite the physical state I was in, my mind was far away from sleeping mode. It's both one of the blessings and curses of my ADD. With so many thoughts at once, there is no way in hell I would ever fall asleep, even by accident, not at this hour anyway.

Ever since a few months ago, the concept of napping has become foreign to me entirely. Other people can apparently just plop down somewhere and fall to sleep in the blink of an eye, napping for two hours between the time of day and night. Truth be told, even I used to be capable of that. But even at night when it is time for me to go into a full cycle of sleep, shutting down all of these thoughts is basically next to impossible. The only outlet that seems to help wind myself down properly is working on my short stories or something else that might be interesting. But during the day, no matter how hard I try, I cannot nap. So, laying here in the cool air conditioning of the home poses zero risk of me accidently falling asleep, something I knew in the background as I process all of these other thoughts.

At least, this was a partial reason why I was so confused four minutes later. When I opened my resting eyes again, I saw the general space of my living room and the ceiling, as well as some whole other location overlapping itself onto my own reality. It kind of looked like thin trees with snow everywhere around me, partially visible as both worlds merged onto my vision. Instead of freaking out about it, I just shut my eyes again, blaming my exhaustion from overdoing it in gym today. I was well enough hydrated, so I figured a little more rest would eventually get me back to normal again before my mother comes home from her job.

But I was wrong to ignore what I saw earlier. Even though I knew it wasn't my normal imagination or ideas of a daydream, given how defined it was, I only focused on relaxing. The combination of the cold air around me and the music playing in my ears made me feel incredible despite my lack of physical energy. And so initially, it didn't register with me how odd it was to open my eyes once more, to find myself completely in another world foreign from my own.

The sky above me was bright, not from direct sunlight, but from the white mist above acting as one sheet of cloud reflecting some of the light above it back down to Earth. The damp ground below me was colder than it was before, freezing rather, though it felt good on my arms and legs exposed through the T-shirt and shorts. Panning my eyes around gently, I noticed that the particles in the air slowly falling from above were soft beautiful snowflakes, humming around with the chilling sound of a distant blizzard in my ears.

Another two seconds passed while I bathed in this glorious sensation of pure winter air around me, an air that felt so good compared to the world I just came from... And then I realized, I wasn't just imagining what was around me. Surprised enough to sit myself up, I felt the cold soft crunch of the snow beneath my hands as I used them to support my balance. The snow on my skin, it truly felt so cold and wet as it began to melt from my body heat.

By sitting myself up, I noticed that the ground of snow all around me expanded infinitely into a vast and rough wasteland of ice and snow, while to the right of me was a thin but long outstretched forest of leafless trees with branches covered in frost. Was I in Alaska? Was this the Swiss Alps? Wherever this place was - wasn't the spot I was in earlier.

And by sitting up like this, I realized that my earphones were missing from my body, though the song I had playing was still loud and strong in my ears despite its absence. I tried snapping my fingers quickly, deciding to get back to the real world in my confusion from being warped to this alternate reality... But amazingly, it didn't work!

I let out a frightened breath which I could see escape in front of me from the frigged air. A small combination of possible truths presented itself just as this new world tempted me with its amazing realistic detail. The first possibility was that I did fall asleep after all and woke up in a dream. But of course, as unlikely as it was that I did somehow manage to doze off without realizing it, it was even more amazing that I was currently conscious of that thought. If I were dreaming, I wouldn't normally be aware of it in the first place. A lucid dream?

No, I decided not to jump to that conclusion. It didn't feel like a lucid dream. Then again, I've never had one before, so it's not as if I have something to compare it to. Possibility number two: I'm actually here in person, somewhere far away from home, wherever here actually is...

That's too unlikely too. As real as this place feels, there is no way I could have gotten here in the first place. What's even weirder is that my beautiful music is still playing, flooding my mind with amazing thoughts, addicting my sensations to the real sheer cold of this environment, which could have been the source of such obsession.

Possibility three: I'm just imagining this place... But already I knew there was no way that could be true. I could never day dream of en entire reality that feels this amazing or looks so vivid and particular. I wasn't imagining being somewhere, not this time. I reached down, grabbing the soft snow on the ground and crushing it between my fingers, freezing my skin red as I did so. The air I inhaled was also colder than normal, providing the full sense that I was really outside in a vast wilderness of snow. The wind blowing against me gave me instant goose bumps, and the gentle noise of that breeze echoed endlessly in resonance, waking me up even further against the possibility that I was actually just half-asleep.

Possibility four: I've gone bonkers... It wasn't entirely impossible given what I've been through. I felt the truth more strongly thanks to the music putting me back in that obsessive mood... I actually love it here! Despite knowing that I'm lost without a way back, despite realizing that I was in an unfamiliar surrounding with nothing but the clothes on my back, my over-appreciation of this wonderland ensured I never wanted to return to my old reality.

Could I be going crazy? Somehow, I knew with utmost certainty that none of this was a dream. So was it possible that I was hallucinating instead? As scary as that should sound, all of the possibilities I considered a moment ago no longer mattered in the grand scheme of the changing moment. Standing up to confirm I was really here, a new wave of sensation flooded my heart, dragging my feet closer to that beautiful forest of hibernating wood.

A smile overrode my earlier panicked expression as I stretched out my upside down arms, hoping to catch the falling snow on my skin and in my hair. After reaching the edge of the woods, I hugged the bark of the tree with my right arm and hand, feeling up the rough cold material before me. The bark was as realistic as ever, with a few broken pieces that could easily give me a splinter if I were to squeeze it hard enough. I then jumped up, trying to grab the tiny thin branch above me that was accumulating so much snow. My weight in holding the branch jostled all of the snow on top, causing it to slide off and avalanche right onto my face. The cold pile of snow droplets forced me to cough and spit, as some of it got right into my nose and covered my eyes. After wiping it off of me, I was absolutely certain that this was reality.

I didn't understand why, but my excitement to be here in this winter wonderland drove away all other thoughts. I didn't care anymore how I got here, nor did I care about how I would get back. I remembered just how much I loved the freezing cold, and now I found myself in a real world full of ice and snow. Staying here forever filled me with so much joy that I forgot about anything else. The emotional shift was so sudden, but not unwelcome.

Like a kid playing in the snow, I gleefully twirled around in a half-dance rushing the cold air through my body despite the fact that I was wearing summer clothes with less thermal-loss protection. My body was cold enough already to be shivering, but I embraced the feeling with pride, pride that I could prance around here in a world all to myself, a world so cold and beautiful. I decided to begin passing the time building snow balls with my hands and snow angles with my body.

The new experience was so exciting that I found myself laughing as I continued playing in the snow. Throwing a few snowballs to test what I had made, I watched and listened to each projectile crumble apart on impact with the trees, or to the floor when I missed my aim. That soothing sound of my shoes crunching and smothering the snow underneath me made me dance on my feet some more, my happiness ascending. After several more minutes of my lyrical nonsense, I found another tree to lean on, perching my head out like bird and tilting my neck to the sky above me.

Despite not being myself in the moment, I knew I never wanted to leave from here again. Still, I stared deep into that beautiful blue sky blocked out by the winter clouds above me. For but a split second, I saw something happen up there. The sky above me abruptly became slightly transparent, revealing another reality backed behind this one. If I were paying enough attention, I would have quickly recognized that it was my living room ceiling. But before I could think about it, that second world shifted and changed to reveal another new location.

It was hard to see since both this world and the second one were shifting in each other's transparent layers of visibility. But for the next few seconds, the second world flashing before my eyes revealed cycles of visuals. Another snowy wasteland, powerful blizzards wrapping me inside, and random flashes of other people. It all seemed mostly random, right up until I noticed a very familiar cyan triangle on the white and blue suits one of the women was wearing on her shoulder. That marking, the triangle with an eye at the center and ten lines going out from there, I recognize it!

Right as I realized that, it felt as if my entire reality around me crumbled despite physically remaining intact. It was something else that broke apart. My powerful aspiration for the cold world vanished, as it was replaced by the jump in my curiosity that I felt very familiar with whatever those flashes were I just saw.

And before I could even process that thought much longer, everything around me vanished in an instant, being entirely replaced by the space of my living room which was now the only thing of my environment, 100% opaque. It wasn't as if everything went dark before I returned to this place; it was instantaneous replacement! As a result, a minor wave of vertigo came over me, unable to adjust that quickly from warping between two worlds.

"Son! I was calling your name. Don't have your music turned up that loud."

I wasn't all back just yet, unable to hide how frightened I suddenly was by whatever insanity was going on just now. All I knew was that my mother was giving me some lecture after pulling the ear buds from my ears. The instance that the music was removed from my mind was the same moment I returned to this one... But was she calling my name? The music was up, but I didn't have it that loud...

I then realized that something must have happened to me just now. I remembered every vivid detail of my time spent in that artic zone, but not how I got there. Did I actually fall asleep after all? If I did, that sensation of morning fatigue and eye crust is totally absent. Come to think of it, my eyes were opened already the moment I realized I was back here again. I either slept with my eyes opened, or something else was going on.

But I also had to deal with the current situation before me. My mom was a little suspicious about this too, based on whatever state I was in. I went from standing up to laying on the couch, between that world and this one, which means despite everything I was doing just now, my body didn't even flinch from its position. Of course, the instantaneous shift between those states is partly what made me want to hurl just now. However weird this was, I could contemplate it later. "Sorry. I was tired after they made me run a mile today," I explained trying to make this sound like no big deal.

My mother however glared at me just a little longer than what felt normal, indicating that I must have been sleeping with my eyes open, if I was sleeping at all. I knew already whatever that was is too out of the ordinary to be another random dream. Something about that was outside of what I should be used to. Sensing that I failed to convince her that everything was fine, I tried changing the subject. "I wonder what we have for dinner tonight."

"Just another pork roast," she answered calmly. Marrie decided it must have been nothing, and went towards the kitchen to check on things. Did I clear myself of her suspicion? I wasn't sure, but she wasn't bringing it up either. It should make sense to her that my mile run would fatigue me enough to cause weird issues, right?

Relived that I managed to ensure she does not worry about me like she normally does, I decided to wait a while before retrieving my MP3 player. As much as I wanted to hear that music some more, I was suddenly afraid of what might happen if I put it in again. I kept asking myself that day what really happened and why. I even suspected that the music itself was to blame. One way or another, I managed to warp a distant fantasy into pure reality, even if it was only for forty minutes. I had no concept of time while I was there, but I was able to check the clock after getting back and estimating how long I was there, which felt about right with my initial guess.

I also asked myself why I loved the very concept of the cold so much. If I thought about it long enough or had one of those wintery sounding songs playing, I could not control that part of myself or even ask such a question to begin with. But somehow, deep down, I knew it wasn't really me feeling that way. Could the same be said for everything else? The way I feel about the stars and outer space? The way I feel about whole other worlds? I wasn't sure. I couldn't be sure. I still understood the difference between what's real and what isn't, but I could tell I had such a strong desire to blur the two together somehow. The reason behind that desire wasn't hard to forget either.

My social life at school is disintegrating again. It's all going back to the way it was when I first enrolled in the sixth grade. Nobody wants to talk to me anymore even when I put in the effort. I can't seem to focus well on schoolwork either, thanks to that very same problem. And worse of all, the sting of our break up between myself and Malica still burns strong, not enough for me to cry anymore, but enough for me to not trust anyone so easily as before. How much longer am I going to have to put up with this? How much longer is it going to take before something good happens to me? So long as I keep feeling like this, all I can really do is continue wishing for a miracle.