Standing in the harsh beam of the stage lights, Mikaela felt her heart pound in her throat. In all of her practice plays and discussions with Yvette, she hadn’t anticipated the crippling anxiety she was feeling now. Not only was she standing in front of a room of strangers, but the setting was completely unlike anything she’d imagined.

Of course, it didn’t help that Yvette had curled her hair and made her feel far from her usual self. Her midriff was exposed, showing off her pale skin that hadn’t ever seen the light of day, and she was wearing the pants Yvette had seemingly butchered. The legs had been reattached with black thread, and Mikaela felt like a ridiculous doll that had its clothes wrecked by the family pooch and someone had done an emergency rescue with only craft supplies.

It was still better than that skirt.

Taking in a small breath, Mikaela forced a smile on her lips as she adjusted the strap of her guitar.

Hearing the familiar beat behind her, Mikaela licked her lips and tried to steady her shaking grip on her guitar. She needed to focus now more than ever, especially given the subject matter of her song. All those hours she’d spent perfecting the song, Mikaela knew this was her chance.

She would not let anyone take this moment away from her.

With a slight breath in, she began to play the chords as she sang, ‘I don’t want to feel, how I felt that night. I thought that you would take my life; the things you did, the things you’ll do, I fear you too much for my own good.’

Noticing the silence of her audience, Mikaela continued as she forced back memories of a night not too long ago, when she had started avoiding the things she had grown to love, ‘the night was so dark, the streets were bare. I can’t seem to forget, no. No, I can’t forget.’

Forcing those memories out of her mind, she looked down at the worn floor below her.

Struggling to suppress the thoughts that wanted to resurface, she forced her mind onto the instrument in her hands, singing, ‘all my tears and all my fears; I can’t shake this, no, I can’t take this. I loved you, but you hated me. I can’t really take this, I don’t want to feel this, I don’t need this. Please save me.’

Unable to stop herself, she bit back a surprisingly bitter smile. Shaking her curled head, she sang as innocently as she could, ‘the way you would smile, the curve of your lips, the touch of your hands. I never thought I’d hate your eyes, or the feel of your hands on me, fear the taste of your lips—please stop.’

In a soft tone, she continued, ‘I’m slipping. I—I, I’m slipping.’

Mikaela played a few more chords as she heard the keyboard in the background play the soft melody she had created just for this.

She would have enjoyed the performance if she hadn’t been so preoccupied by nerves, memories and singing. Though she couldn’t think of that, continuing, ‘I thought I knew you, thought you were my light, thought you were my life. All my tears and all my fears; I can’t shake this, no, I can’t take this. I loved you, but you hated me. I can’t really take this, I don’t want to feel this, I don’t need this. Please save me.

‘I knew growing up would be hard, but I didn’t get the memo, no; the one that says you’re a demon. Please stop chasing me, stop haunting my dreams, stop taking my things; I’m still struggling,’ Mikaela sang, her voice breaking with emotion.

With an obvious shake of her head, she continued, ‘all my tears and all my fears; I can’t shake this, no, I can’t take this. I loved you, but you hated me.

‘I can’t really take this, I don’t want to feel this, I don’t need this. Please save me,’ Mikaela sang out, playing a chord crescendo on her guitar.

‘You hurt me, but I’m not broken. So I’ll get back up, continue this fight, you’re not gonna keep me down,’ she continued hearing the keyboardist play her cue.

No longer playing her guitar, she sang, ‘once you were my light, once you were my life. All my tears and all my fears; I can shake this, I can take this. I thought I loved you, but now I hate you. Who really are you? Even if you say you hate me, I really don’t care. See I don’t need you. Trust me, I’ll beat you.’

Letting her eyes wander over her faceless audience, Mikaela tried to slow down her breathing. She’d done it. Her first solo performance showcasing her own work was over. She could feel her eyes water as one person began to clap, followed by another person, and another. Soon enough the whole room was clapping for her, making her feel overwhelmed by the generosity of the people around her.

‘Thank you for your audition, Mikaela. Your rhythm here is one that I feel people can appreciate,’ Samantha began, sending Mikaela a smile.

‘I’m just happy to be here, given the chance to really prove what I can do,’ Mikaela responded, a cheeky smile filling her lips.

‘It’s good that you still have your confidence, though your performance had me… well, bored. It lacked the very emotion you were singing about,’ Marley mused, an inflection entering his voice that Mikaela could not decipher.

With mild confusion she glanced at the remaining judge, Matt, one of her friends who always kept it honest with her. His response surprised her, ‘while I know from personal experience that your vocal range and guitar ability has improved, I feel that your performance was missing something.’

‘Thank you for your feedback, I will definitely look forward to more,’ Mikaela smiled before walking off stage, waving cheerfully at the audience, though her heart was doing summersaults in her chest.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to find out if she had made it through or not.