《Silverwing: Guardian》Chapter 16
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At a food truck, Alice ordered a hot dog with tomatoes, onions, pickles, and mustard to top it all off. The man in the truck had a sleek black mustache, slightly wrinkled face, and sported a classic red striped uniform. He whipped up the hot dog in excellent timing as he slid the paper wrapped delicacy into Alice’s hands along with a drink. Alice slid over some cash on the counter, “Thanks again, Dusty!”
“My pleasure, Alice,” Dusty grinned.
“You know, you should run a restaurant, this is really good.”
Dusty chuckled, “Well, I have been dreaming of building a coffee shop. Anyhow, enjoy your meal!”
With a wave, Alice walked over to Chase, who stood with his arms folded. Alice looked up at the dark cloudy sky. “Looks like it’s gonna rain.”
“So it is,” Chase felt his eyes lock onto the skies. The clouds swirled and darkened, some rain might be an understatement. Something sparked inside him at the thought of a storm. How long has it been? The last time he roared. He shook his head, those days were gone, and looked back at Alice. “You know, Dusty?” He said.
“Yeah, I’ve come by his truck plenty of times. You know him?”
“I came through a few times with my team back when I was still in Highrise,” Chase said.
“Cool, how’s your team?”
A rush of memories flooded into Chase's mind. Three strong and proud individuals. A black cloaked figure, his hood down, wielding a scythe in one hand, and a hand resting on a well-built, champion of a man standing with a large smile on his face. A woman stood by the other two with a dark purple cone-hat and robes with golden trimmings. Chase looked away. “I’d rather not talk about them.”
“Oh, okay…does it involve how you lost your body?” Chase looked at her, and she turned away. “Right, not talking about them, mhm.”
He sighed. “They were two separate events, but still connected. You wanted me to give you advice. Well, here’s my advice, don’t let your emotions get in the way, or else it’ll cost you.”
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Alice seemed to deflate at that. “No emotions at all? But doesn’t being a Guardian require empathy for your people?”
“Probably, but the last time I let my own grief get to me, it cost me an arm and the rest of me,” Chase held Alice’s gaze before eventually breaking off. “...Sorry, I told you I didn’t have any good advice.”
“I guess I can see that, but everyone at least feels emotion and needs to show them somehow. Keeping them bottled up can be just as bad.”
“I’ve lost my heart and my soul, I don’t see how I could show much emotion.”
“What do you mean?”
Chase knocked on his chest which resonated against the metal. “My body is made of metal. My mind is like a computer. My heart is only beating because of an electrical battery. And my blood is just artificial fluids. I can’t even show my face without the risk of infection. And even if I did, people would see me as more of a monster then they do now. I’m nothing more than a machine, Alice, and machine’s don’t feel or do anything beyond their job.”
“That can’t be true, Chase. You're just as human as all of us.”
“And how do you know that?”
“...I just know okay?” Alice pointed to his chest. “The fact that your heart is still beating means that you’re alive, and if you're alive, then you’re human. No matter how much metal is in you. It just depends on how we release it.”
Chase brushed her hand away. The blue overlays that showed a holographic image of his body along with the many labels that littered his screen, identifying everything like it was on a computer, would say otherwise. “...It’s fine. I’ve already accepted it. I was given a second chance at life so I could use my skills to serve. And if I can’t do that, then I’m useless. The robotic body only cemented that for me.”
Alice stared at him with pity, a look he hated, but realizing that she didn’t have much else to say, she slumped down and slowly ate her meal. They sat in silence for a few moments, letting the words pass, before she gathered her thoughts and spoke again. “When I was younger, my dad would always show me the news. He always wanted to keep me in the loop of the world. Crimes, robberies, murders, politics, exposed corruptions, natural disasters, and wars.”
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“Seems intense for someone so young.”
“Yeah, but he also made sure to show me all the charities, relief efforts, protests for change, the fighters from Highrise and all the national academies doing their thing, and I saw you most of all.”
Chase glanced at her.
“Probably because I pretty much grew up here, but I’d see you in papers, TV, and even on the streets. The way you took down that truck robbery the other day was sooo cool!” Alice’s eyes were wide with excitement as she said that leaning close to Chase, before quickly sitting back down. “Sorry.”
Chase stared at her incredulously, people seeing him wasn’t new, but for someone to see him with that much intense admiration never happened, or maybe he just never noticed it. “Are you being serious?”
“Definitely. You’re kind of my idol actually. Seeing you and my dad fighting against the evil in this world inspired me to wanna grow up fighting alongside you.”
“And you’re not scared?”
“Maybe. Kind of. A little. This isn’t really the first time I’ve been in danger. You know, my dad’s a pretty big public figure. Pretty controversial and he gets a lot of enemies. There have been assassination attempts made against them, and at the same time…me. I’ve seen friends, allies, nice bodyguards…my mom…die.” Alice's face was gloomy as she went back to eating.
“That…” Chase wasn’t sure what to say. “Must’ve been traumatizing.”
Alice pulled back a strand of hair out of her face, “Yeah…But I pulled through. I think that’s what he always wanted me to learn. That no matter what happens, I need to hold my head high and keep going, because if you can’t stand back up when you’re still alive, then what’s the point of living?” Alice chuckled, “I guess that’s also why I do my best to stay so optimistic and cheerful. Sorry, if it gets annoying, but it’s the way I cope.”
Chase repeated what Alice said in his head. If you can’t stand back up when you’re still alive, then what's the point of living? Standing back up, that’s what he’s been trying to do for so long. He thought he succeeded. But he wasn’t sure anymore. Ironic, he thought, that a little girl seemed to be braver than he was. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she came along, he’d have to be ready for the consequences, but from the looks of it, she already was. “Okay.”
“Hmm?” Alice raised an eyebrow after taking a large bite.
“You can come.”
“To the Vault?” Alice straightened with glee.
“Yes. But I need you to promise me that you won’t do anything reckless.”
Alice placed a fist against her chest, “Promise. But what do you want me to do?”
Chase thought about it for a moment. “You’ll just act as an extra pair of eyes for me. Look out for the Technician and try to see what he’s doing when I can’t see him. But again, stay out of his range.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
“But before that, we’ll scan the area and each vault to make sure he’s not already there and that all the security systems are still active. Then, we’ll wait for him.”
Alice rubbed her bracers. “Got it,” she said, putting her smile back on. Alice threw out the paper wraps and followed Chase, giving one final wave to Dusty. “Thanks for talking to me, Chase.”
“You wouldn’t stop talking to me.”
“Heh, yeah.” Alice paused before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, for what it’s worth, I think the mask makes you look really cool.”
He looked at her hand for a minute, this time not moving to brush it off, before looking back at her. “Thanks.”
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when you still have this tiny, tiny bit of hope inside of you that they will learn how to love you again,even if there's this bigger part that knows: they never will.© sushitae-「 highest ranking: #19 in poetry 」
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