Sometimes a wish can define you as a person.

When I was six or seven years old, I was out in the side yard sitting on the grass with my cousin Jimmy.

He rode with grandma when she was taking me back home.

On the grass, the summer dandelions popping up. I don’t know how we decided but we came up with a rule. You can only pick one. You can only blow out one dandelion. You only get one shot to make your wish. We both knew you could keep your eyes open when you blow out your dandelion, and if you get every last little seed off that head, then you close your eyes when you make your wish.

We both chose our dandelions well. Full heads. Man, dandelions are really beautiful. Maybe my favorite flower.

But anyways.

We both got all our seeds off with one gusty blow. Not one left. No need to cheat either. Now the universe was obligated to fulfill the wish if we held true to the rules of wish making.

My cousin closed his eyes and silently sent up his prayer. I knew he was done setting the wish when he opened his eyes and nodded at me. He was a little bit older then me so it was kinda like he was kinda in charge of what was going on. If there was a wish quota up in heaven that day, if they could only grant one that day, then his was going to get there first. Kinda shitty, but he was older so if anyone’s gonna make the first wish and get their's granted, then it was him.

I closed my eyes and made my wish. I opened my eyes. And nodded at my cousin. Something told me. Damn I can still remember that moment so well, something in that moment, like a spiritual thing told me that my wish was going to come true.

My cousin told me that he wished he would become a lion tamer. He asked me what I wished for. I told him, no way man, I can’t tell you my wish, if I tell then it won’t come true.

My cousin never went on to become a lion tamer.

My wish did come true. I did go on to become something like a cross between James Bond and MacGyver. I traveled the world working for a misunderstood agency. I was a pacifist-hippie, duct-tape, mechanic, problem solver. Fueled by pussy and booze. A clean cut long haired guy. The rules did not apply to me.

Now I kinda want that wish to stop coming true. Not an unwish. I know you can’t unwish a fucking wish. I ain't that stupid. But you know, the best version of James Bond gets blown the fuck up by his cunt agency. MacGyver starts to suck after like season 3 and then ends with some shitty episode that no one remembers.

So when I went to the wishing tree in Seoul with my Tinder date. She was so beautiful. So spunky. And a great conversationalist. I wish we had a spark. But I gotta be honest. I’ve been there and done that. Don’t need to pretend something is there when it's not there. Maybe she’ll be my friend. Nah. That never works. Younger girls can not be friends with older guys. Unless the older guy is gay, and I’m definitely not gay. Related to the dandelion wish day, I happen to know for sure that I don’t like being fucked up the ass. And whatever, this Tinder date, damn my luck, she works in a brothel too. Why do these types, why do we always seem to find each other. Well, I know. I know, it's because I know what it's like to get fucked for money.

Anyways, that’s a story for another day. I’m rambling.

So at the wishing tree. I had a new wish. I won’t tell you what it is. Actually, it's not a new wish. It's the wish that I’ve been making for the last few months. With every candle I light. At the Buddhist temple. At the Catholic Cathedral. At the altar in my house. I am sending this prayer up and out, hardcore. Hoping it will cover up or at least fucking compliment that old wish.