A dream?

Well, that was a callback.

I haven’t had that dream since middle school. Since everything constantly changed every day. I hate when things change. Why can’t everything just stay as it is? When everything was okay.

The world is just that isn’t it? Everything changes, even I changed since then.

Welp, I’m here now. I just suck it up. I’m the one who needs to change for others, especially for my family. They need me. And I need them. I must do everything for them.

I don’t want to lose another family member again.

Mom

….

I looked at my clock.

It’s six am. I need my clothes and to prepare breakfast for my dad, brother Ren and myself. Scramble or sunny? Sunny’s good. And a toast bread with butter.

What about lunch? Maybe rice with hamburger steak plus salad. I don’t think I have any for a hamburger steak. I think I’ll go with an onigiri with tuna and mayo inside. Okay! I think that should do it.

“Mor—” someone entered the living room yawning, “-ning, Hana.”

“Good morning, brother.”

“What’s breakfast?”

“Just toast with butter and sunny on top.”

“Isn’t that our breakfast yesterday?” He sat and leaned on the dining table. Still yawning.

“No, we had miso soup with salmon. You’re clearly half-asleep.”

“Maybe I am. Imma go-” he yawned, “back to sleep.” and he fell asleep on the table.

I should continue what I was doing.

I need a patty and this and....just need to shape it. Good thing I prepared it yesterday. Then the gravy and rice I need……wrap it around with a cloth…….and done! Opps, I forgot the healthy veggies…….and done!

Now breakfast. Breads finished but eggs almost. Bread and butter done. Now, the last step. And done! Then repeat two more…………………………………………. done!

I suddenly heard a loud snore. It was my brother, already in a deep sleep state.

I finished everything, including my lunch box. Now I just needed one person here, dad.

My dad works in a paper company. I don’t know the details, but it’s an office job. He would always go home late at night. There haven’t been any problems with his job, it’s just he always goes home late and is always very tired. The pay he gets isn’t very much, but it’s enough for the rent and food. My education is another issue though.

I walked through a short hallway from the living room to my dad’s. The floor creaked as I walked towards his room. I knocked, “Dad, breakfast’s ready.”

There was a mumble from behind the door, it was him answering. Heavy footsteps slowly approached the door in front of me. Then opened.

A man in his middle forties who slept in his working clothes. Unkempt baggy long hair. Unshaved facial hair. And with big eye bags which is a sign I fully well-known that dad has clearly worked himself out as usual.

“Dad, I told you to change before going to bed.” I smiled at him, hoping to at least brighten his morning.

He smiled solemnly. “Okay, thank you Hana.” his voice was soft and crumble.

“You should change first into a more comfortable wear.” I wanted to crack a joke to make him laugh, but it just doesn’t seem right. “We’re having toast with sunny on top.”

“Thank you, Hana.”

“Your welcome dad.” I turned around and muttered, “Get better soon.”

I went back into the dining room.

“Brother, wake up. Breakfast’s ready.” I lightly tapped his shoulder twice.

He yawned again, “Okay, thanks Hana.”

I sat down and started eating, “Thank you for the food.” we chanted together.

“Dad’s still exhausting himself from work. I’m wondering if we can do something about it?” I said, but it didn’t feel like my brother was interested in dad as usual.

"Don't worry about too much." He dissed the topic.

Dad opened the door and entered to eat breakfast, but brother hastily finished his toast and left the house ignoring dad’s existence. “Bye Hana.”

“Take care.”

“Bye, Ren.” dad said to him which was completely ignored.

He left.

Dad sat down to eat his part.

“Don’t worry about its dad, he’ll open up someday.”

“Yeah.” soft and crumbled was his voice.

Silence.

We ate as if we were strangers. In a sense it's true, but neither of us want that.

"It's nice outside today." I said as an attempt to break tension.

"Really? That's good then." He answered.

Silence.

"My club's preparing for the upcoming district tournament. We're starting practice today, afterschool."

"Is that so? That's great then. I'll come watch you in the tournament then. Give it your best Hana." his voice still crumbled yet soft.

"Thanks Dad." Silence fell again for the third time…. “D-dad, can't you take a rest for today? You still look exhausted from work.”

“You don’t need to mind me, just focus on your school.”

“Y-yes, dad……. But if you keep this up, you’ll end up exactly like—”

He slammed the table, “I KNOW THAT!” he stood up, “I know that. Please, can we just talk about this for another day?"

"Yes, dad." I bit my lip.

Then he left for work.

As soon as he left, the tension made me want to burst into tears, but I shouldn't.

Be strong Hana. Be strong Hana. Be strong Hana.

I repeated the phrase repeatedly until I could regain my stability.

I locked the house and left for school.