My head throbbed with the worst headache of my life. I felt around for my surroundings. Wet moss coated my fingertips, and I was…well, still wearing my clothes from the night before.

What happened?

“Arwyn?” Raydir’s voice called out. “Arwyn!”

“Over here! By the tree!” I called back.

He chuckled. “We’re in a forest, Arwyn!”

Right. I stood up, brushing off my pants and wobbling slightly as pain seared down my legs. I leaned my body against the tree for support. Luckily, Raydir came into view and ran to my side.

“Woah! Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just a little sore.” I winced as my fingers touched my thighs. Why could I not remember anything?

“Here.” Raydir scooped my legs out from underneath me into his arms. I squeaked in protest, clinging to his neck for dear life.

“Don’t drop me!”

Raydir laughed. “I won’t. I promise.” He started walking back in what I hoped was the direction of our cabin. I desperately needed a bath. While we walked, my fingers combed through Raydir’s hair. He had grown it long ever since we were 18, and I loved the way it felt between my fingers. The style suited him well.

“What happened when you shifted?” I asked.

His expression remained neutral. “It comes in waves. What about you? How are you feeling after the shift?”

“I’m okay. My head hurts more than I expected it to, but I’m sure that’s only temporary. I’m glad you’re alright. Last night…I wish I could’ve been with you. You kept me sane while I shifted, and I wanted to do the same for you.”

“Ar, you have done the same for me, even if it’s not how you think. Last night was hard for me too, but I thought about you the whole time. But I’m worried about you. There was fear in your eyes, Arwyn. I linked you and you didn’t…you didn’t recognize me.”

I swallowed hard. He remembered and I didn’t, which could only mean one thing,

“Hey.” I cupped his face in my hands, as he slowly let me back down outside of the cabin. “I will never be afraid of you.” I kissed him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” He swept me into his arms again as we walked in. “Hm, this almost feels like we’re married, doesn’t it?”

I laughed. “Yeah, it does. I’m gonna go take a bath. You wanna join me?”

He smirked. “Gladly.”

I took his hand, leading him down the hall to the bathroom. The water ran warm over my fingertips. I gazed up at Ray while I started to undress. His eyes gleamed with desire. Slowly, we peeled our grimy clothes off and tossed them to the ground. I eased myself into the tub while Raydir climbed in behind me.

He soaked a sponge in the water and began to run it over my sore muscles, washing away the remaining paint from the evening before. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. As he bathed me, his lips nestled their way into the crook of my neck. I reached back with one hand, tugging at his hair as I moaned happily, yearning for his touch. His fingers rubbed circles over my back before working their way over to my front. I leaned my head to the side to give him access to my neck. His lips nipped at the spot just above my collarbone, tugging ever so slightly with his teeth. We moved in a rhythm, letting the water consume us. Eventually, I turned around to straddle Raydir. I gathered his hair up, knotting it on top of his head.

“This will make things easier,” I whispered as I peppered kisses along his jawline. I took the sponge and slid it carefully over his torso.

He groaned at my touch, biting his lip and gripping the sides of the tub. “Mm.”

I grinned and pressed another kiss to his lips. “Enjoying this, are we?”

Raydir grinded against my hips pulling me against his body. His eyes flashed with a familiar yearning lust. “Absolutely.”

Our bodies moved as one in the water, and we stayed there until our fingers turned wrinkly and the water ran cold.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A few hours later, I woke up to the mattress shifting under Raydir as he got out of bed. My arm patted his side, coming up empty.

“Ray? Where are you going?” I sat up, pulling the blankets over my exposed body.

“I have to go to the medical cabin for my shift.” He leaned over the bed and kissed me, lingering for a few extra seconds on my lips.

I let the blankets drop as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He let out a small laugh as he pushed my body up to meet his, his lips traveling away from mine to explore my neck. I had just succeeded in removing his shirt—to which he didn’t protest much—when someone started to pound on the door to our cabin. Raydir pulled away reluctantly, not stopping to put his shirt back on when he moved swiftly to the front door. I threw on my nightgown and followed quickly behind him. When Raydir opened the door, Bennett leaned against the doorframe, a look of concern etched across his face.

“What happened?” I asked.

“There was an attack in Gwyniar,” he replied. “A rogue. We’re doing a headcount in the Grand Cabin to make sure no one else was injured and then sending a team out to scout the area.” His gaze flickered to me as he spoke.

“What? What do you mean ‘no one else’? Was someone in Gwyniar hurt?” I demanded to know. Please let it be nothing serious.

“Your father tried to stop the attack. He…he’s in critical condition.”

My knees turned to jello as the words hit my ears. Father. Attack. Critical condition. Raydir caught me as I fell, a scream escaping my lips and tears streaming down my face. My father! And I wasn’t there because I chose a promise over family.

“No! No no no!” I pounded my fists against Raydir’s chest as he cradled me, trying to calm me down.

“Take her to the Grand Cabin now,” Bennett instructed.

Raydir lifted me up as I cried and strode over to the Grand Cabin where Rosie was already waiting with Caesaria and Darius.

“Arwyn.” Caesaria ran over to me, taking me from Raydir.

I wrapped my arms around her neck as she enveloped me into a hug. “Tell me it’s not true. Tell me they’re lying!”

“We don’t know much right now,” Caesaria said, which was not comforting. “But the team will do everything in their power to make sure he’s alright.”

“Who’s with him right now?”

“Your mother. She wasn’t in the room when the attack happened but she was the one who found…” she trailed off as another sob escaped my lips. Turning to Bennett, she said, “I can’t do this, Bennett. She needs to be with her family. She has to go with us.”

I glared at Bennett. “You were going to make me stay in the valley? When my father is dying? No, that’s where I draw the line. I am going with the group, end of story.”

Caesaria held up a small satchel. “I already packed an outfit from the Swap Shop for you to change into.”

“You are wonderful.” With another small glance at Raydir and Bennett, I went to change. Once I had returned, Bennett instructed the group of us on what to do and what to expect upon our arrival.

“There is only a small group of us going: Raydir, Caesaria, Arwyn, and myself. Darius, you’ll stay here. We don’t need to overwhelm the Duke with an extra presence.”

“I should stay behind too,” Caesaria piped up. “I was an outcast once, I’m not sure I am still welcome in Gwyniar.

“Please come with us,” I pleaded with her. “I need as much support as possible on this trip.”

“Ar, I’m coming with you,” Raydir said. “I think it should just be us. We don’t want to overwhelm your parents.”

I nodded. “No, you’re right. It should just be us.” I turned back to Bennett. “We need to leave now, don’t we?”

Bennett nodded. “Indeed. Are you both willing and able to shift? You’ll get there in about an hour. Arwyn, since this is your first time shifting away from an Alignment, you’ll feel a bit tired once you’ve shifted back, but that is perfectly normal. Ready?”

We all nodded and shifted simultaneously. Unlike last night, this shift felt good. Safe. My body did not fight the transformation, almost bowing down to the wolf inside and letting her take control.

Everything is going to be alright, Arwyn, Raydir spoke through our link.

I hope you’re right.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I had only been gone from Gwyniar for two months and so much had changed. The atmosphere felt…different. Clouded. A darkness loomed over the dukedom as we hurried into the hospital to see my father. The guards stopped everyone at the door—except for me.

Whispers of “she’s back!” floated through the halls as a nurse led me to a secluded area that she said was a special wind for royalty.

“Father?” my voice came out small and weak as I approached.

Sitting beside his bed, my mother held my father’s hand while whispering something to herself. She looked up only when I spoke.

“Arwyn!” she cried.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I ran over to her. She wrapped me into her arms, and I felt all the worry and fear that had built up begin to wash away. I was safe. I was home.

“Mother, I am so sorry,” I cried. “I should never have left. If I only stayed—”

“Then you would have only resented us.” She stroked my hair.

“What?”

The monitor by my father’s bedside beeped in a quiet rhythm.

“Sweetheart, I have known from the moment you declared that Raydir was going to be your best friend that the two of you were destined to be together. When your sister died, I couldn’t help but think about the position you were about to be in with your own ceremony. Trying to keep you away from Raydir was the only way I thought I could keep you safe but I was only getting in the way.”

“But I left. I left you and Father. I left the dukedom. My responsibilities. I let you down. I let Arabella down. She wouldn’t have wanted this—”

“Baby, she always encouraged you to be your own person. You reminded me of that. Yes, leaving the valley and rejecting your Chosen has had quite an impact on the family and our society, but you are doing what you want.”

“I don’t understand.” I wiped at my tears, confused and even more frustrated. “You wanted me to be with Ray? After you begged so hard for me not to?”

“I was trying to protect your future, but nothing could’ve changed your mind about leaving.”

“There’s something else, isn’t there,” I said. “There’s a reason for this. All of this.”

She sighed, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ears. “This type of attack. It’s not the first time it’s happened.”

“When was the first?”

“Your sister. The accident with the carriage…it was a wolf who went rogue like this one—and he’s the one who attacked your sister’s carriage.”

“And that’s why you wanted to protect me. Because you were afraid I would be targeted like Bella.” My heart sank as I realized just how much pain I must’ve put my family through.

My mother nodded. “Yes.”

I opened my mouth to reply when the bed creaked under my father’s weight. Slowly, his eyes opened. He blinked three times, as if making sure I was real.

“Arwyn.” His voice was raspy. “Welcome home, my darling.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Once I was sure my Father was ok, I left him to talk with my mother. It was a teary family reunion but something I desperately needed. Outside the hospital, the sun shone brightly, warming my skin as I walked. As much as I had been enjoying my freedom in the valley, I couldn’t help but think that part of me still longed for Gwyniar. For structure. Rules. And what had it been that my father said right before I left the room? It was your fate to leave Gwyniar, but I am not sure Raydir had anything to do with it.

What did that even mean? Had they been right from the beginning? Was my relationship with Raydir…a mistake?

Suddenly, I found myself outside of the palace. Vines of honeysuckle trickled down the sides creating a green blanket along the stones. From the outside, it seemed a lot smaller than it ever did before. One of the guards nodded to me as I walked inside, but another eyed me carefully. I looked down at my clothes—I guess I stood out a bit in my trousers and hunter’s top.

“Lady Arwyn,” I announced myself to him. As if you didn’t know, I’d lived here my whole life and had only been gone for two months.

He glanced at the first guard, who nodded, then proceeded to let me inside the palace. Flashbacks of my past hit me like a blast of ice. Memories of my sister, of the days we spent playing hide-and-seek in the palace. The time I spent so many hours in the library, I fell asleep on one of the bean bag chairs and only awoke when I became hungry the following morning. I chuckled softly at the memory.

Footsteps sounded behind me, and I turned to find Raydir standing there.

“I thought I’d find you in here,” he said. “You always loved this library.”

“My favorite room in the house.” I kissed him. “Is everything ok? My mother…she wanted to talk with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Everything good?”

“We should talk about us,” he replied, which was not comforting.

“What about us?” I asked.

“Can we take a ride? I know how much you used to love the Flower Gardens.”

“Um, sure.” I absentmindedly tucked my hair behind my ears.

“The familiarity looks good on you, Ar.”

“Thank you,” I said, blushing as we walked out to a carriage. “I forgot how much I missed being here.”

“Do you regret leaving?”

I sighed. “The valley is my life now, but there are aspects of this life that I will always miss.”

The carriage bumped along the road.

“Is there anything that you regret?” He slowly lifted his gaze to me. “Maybe me, for instance?”

“No! God, no, Ray. Why would you even think that? Do you regret me?”

He shook his head. “Of course not.”

The carriage came to a stop, and we got out, walking toward the gardens. It felt exactly like the first time I met Darius…no, I can’t be thinking about that right now. Not while I’m with Raydir.

“You remember our first date?” Raydir swung our hands back and forth as we walked through the gardens.

I laughed. “How could I forget? You brought me flowers and one of the guards thought you stole them from here. So, what did you want to talk about? I’m assuming you didn’t bring me out here to reminisce about our past.”

Raydir scratched the back of his head. “You’re right. Listen, Ar. You know I love you, and I will always love you, but lately I feel…something else is going on. You were thinking about him just now, weren’t you? You had that far-off look in your eyes.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean.” I inched my hand away from his.

“Darius. I’ve seen the way you look at him, ever since he arrived in the valley. And I guess I should’ve seen it coming. He was your chosen, after all.”

“He may have been my Chosen but I chose you, Ray. I will always choose you.”

“But that’s the thing, Arwyn. We have always chosen each other. We’re all the other has ever known, which is great, but we’re not kids anymore.”

I swallowed, nodding as realization hit me for what was going to happen. “You want us to think about other options.”

“Not right away. But…maybe it’s something to consider.”

I let out a puff of air, running a hand down my face. “Maybe we should think about this more. I just don’t want to lose you.”

He brushed his fingers over my cheek. “You will never lose me.” He reached into his pocket. “I meant to give this to you after the Alignment but things got kinda crazy.”

From his pocket, he presented my own praesidium crystal on a silver chain. The stone was black obsidian, just like his and the others in the valley. But this one was special because it was from Ray.

“Thank you.” I clasped it around my neck.

He leaned toward me, and I let my lips brush momentarily against his. Raydir tangled his hands in my hair, and I ran a hand up his chest.

“Ray,” I whispered. “We should slow down before we get permanently banned from the gardens.”

He laughed, pulling away and offering me his hand. “Raincheck?”

I gratefully accepted it so we could walk back to take a carriage back to the palace. “Absolutely.”

“Do you remember the first time we did that here?” Our carriage hit a loose cobblestone, and I lurched forward, grasping Raydir’s hand.

“As if it were yesterday. That guard looked like he was about to explode when my hand grazed your knee that day.”

I clutched my chest dramatically. “You should know that touching a lady’s knee is forbidden in Grwyniar.”

Raydir laughed. “I miss those days.”

I glanced out the window, sombering. “Me too.” And here I was, losing him.

My mother greeted us back at the palace with Caesaria and Bennett. She looked tired, which was to be expected, but still offered the two of us a smile.

“I’m so glad you both are back. I take it you’ve had some time to…talk?”

Raydir and I looked at each other before turning back to her.

“Yes. Thank you for giving us a chance to do that given everything going on right now. And we really appreciate you letting us stay here while your husband—Arwyn’s father—is recovering,” Raydir said.

“My pleasure.” My mother nodded at him before extending her hands to me. “Come, darling. Let us get you and your friends settled in.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

That evening as I got ready for bed, I began to think more about what Raydir and I talked about in the gardens. We were both so ready to give up what we had worked so hard to maintain the last sixteen years. I took a shaky breath as I undid the braid in my hair, letting my hair fall in waves down my back.

I caught a glimpse of Arabella as I gazed at my reflection in the vanity mirror. People always said we had the same eyes. But where mine were a deep brown, hers had always been a warm honey brown with flecks of gold.

“Bella, you’ve always known what’s best for me,” I whispered to the mirror. “What should I do?”

As if in response, there was a knock at the door, and Raydir appeared in the doorway.

“How are you doing?” Ray asked.

I sighed. “I’ve been better. My mind is still reeling over what happened, and seeing my father…there is so much guilt, Ray. For leaving.”

“I know. I know.” He took my hand and we sat down on my bed together. “I have to be honest with you about something. When your mother and I talked earlier, she wanted to make sure you were being taken care of in the valley. I assured her that you were. But she was the one who got me thinking about whether or not you truly still wanted to be with me.”

“Is that why you asked me about Darius?”

Raydir nodded. “I didn’t want any of it to be true, Ar, but I could tell even from when they called out his name at your ceremony. And then the incident at the lake…I know you said he was protecting you from something, but something changed after that.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to stop me.

“Arwyn, it’s ok. And I meant what I said in the gardens. Truly. I will always love you even if we’re not together anymore.”

“So…is that what you want?”

He tilted my chin up with one finger. “I need some time to figure it out. I think we both do. What do you think?”

I nodded, closing the gap between us so that our foreheads touched. “We just need time. So…a break?”

“A break, yeah.”

In a swift moment, we locked eyes. Longing whispered through me as I spoke to Raydir through my mind: Just kiss me and wash the pain away.

He pressed his lips against mine, softly at first then increasing the rhythm as my lips parted, giving his tongue access to explore my mouth. I tangled my hands through his hair as his hands roamed over my beck, pressing me closer to his body. Heat pulsated between us, and my heartbeat pounded in my chest.

Shall we pick up where we left off? He let out another low, soft growl. My fingers tightened in his hair as he loosened my nightgown, kissing every exposed inch from my collarbone to my stomach as he pulled it lower. I removed my hands temporarily from his hair to lift his shirt over his head. His bare chest taunted me; it was now a deeper tan from all the time we’d spent outside in the valley. I ran a hand down his torso, and his muscles tensed as my fingers traveled over the trail of hair that disappeared over the top of his trousers.

What more do I need to do to have you tonight? He leaned me back on the bed, his mouth teasing the familiar spot on my neck before moving back up to find my lips. Fumbling with the zipper, his pants came off in one swift motion, landing on the floor with the rest of our clothes.

As he went in for another kiss, I breathed in deeply. He smelled like the cedar trees from the valley, an oh-so-good scent that made my heart beat faster and my body yearn for him.

His lips traveled from my shoulders, down my neck, to the spot nestled between my breasts. I moaned, arching my back to meet him as heat pulsated between my legs. He grinded his hips in a rhythm with mine, our fingers clasped at the bedsheets as we reached our peak together before falling back down, next to each other, breathing heavily.

Down from the high of the moment, a wave of fear and regret washed over me. Fear about what would happen if we truly broke up. Regret about my feelings for Darius and what it was leading to. I tucked myself into Raydir’s embrace, breathing in his comforting scent as I willed myself to fall asleep, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.