I screamed into that pillow until I ran out of breath. I was so ashamed. Never before had it affected me to that extent. It reminded me of a time before when my mother found out about my secretive online ‘boyfriend’. Turns out, he was a 20 year-old man while I was the age of 14. I screamed into a pillow for hours when she found out.

I am so lustful, it hurts.

“Margo, its time to stop that.”

Announced Ida, But I ignored her.

It finally took my lack of breath for me to resurface from the pillow.

That pillow was taken away from me just so I didn’t suffocate myself.

“Now Margo, What’s going on?”

“I already told you! She saw his dick!”

Chimed in Nancy

“Oh, hush…”

“Nothing is wrong, Ida.”

“Oh come on, I’m not stupid. What is wrong?”

I finally broke down and told her what happened in the office.

“Oh.”

I couldn’t tell if Ida was surprised or disgusted. I doubt she was disgusted given her profession.

After everyone else had seen the doctor, it was time for Atlas to see him.

half an hour has passed and my anxiety grows.

Just as my leg begins to shake, Nancy slides closer to me.

“You know, Erickson probably got the truth out of Atlas. And you know what happens to little sluts like Atlas in a place like this?”

I just glared at Nancy

Just then Nancy rose from her seat and started dancing around the dayroom chanting,

“Atlas Is going to the PICU! Atlas is going to the PICU!”

She continued to chant and dance for a few minutes before Ida told her to stop.

Then, lo and behold, here comes Atlas walking down the hall with his head down turned and carrying a large paper bag of his clothes.

Nancy was right.

By lunchtime, all aspects of Atlas even being there were wiped away. He was only there in memory.

According to Nancy, the PICU or psychiatric intensive care unit, was a place where patients who did something so wrong in the hospital that they were put on constant surveillance, more so than what was possible on Unit Oak.

It will be most likely days or even weeks before I see Atlas again.