All of the sudden, Audrey's shoulders tensed up in an incredible squeeze. The haze of the entire night cleared up in a millisecond, and her senses became sharp again. Uncomfortably sharp.

A few stray dark hairs poked out from between his eyebrows, hinting at a unibrow that had just been plucked by an amateur. His lips were wet, probably too wet, except for a dry, cracked piece at the edge of his mouth, where a small scab had started to form. Their shape was uneven, the top lip just a mite too flat, the bottom lip just a tad too swollen as it puckered forward. She could smell the sour tang of the punch of his hot breath.

As he leaned further in, even the small, micro-details of his face exposed themselves. Tiny acne scars littered his forehead, his giant pores gaping like miniature valleys on the moonscape of his cheeks. The sweat from all the dancing had made his skin sticky with a slight sheen that smelled like salt and microwaved hot dogs. Underneath the car's indoor lighting, coupled with the night outside, the short blonde hair on top of his high hairline seemed to fade away into the yellow glow, and this balding effect, coupled with the emphasized lines on his face, seemed to age up her prom date about 25 years.

In reaction to this sudden sensory overload, some reactionary part of her brain pulled her whole body away, and pressed the back of her head against the cold passenger-side window.

She had hoped he wouldn't notice, that he'd just continue to close the distance between them, but he stopped and opened his eyes when his torso bumped into the console, causing him to pull back himself and open his eyes.

"Oh." He looked off to the side, depuckering his lips, his eyes, once a bright and shining emerald, now appearing a sickly dark green. "…something wrong?"

"No–it's…" Audrey struggled to put words together, a monumental task as her mind still tried to digest the overwhelming amount of detail about his person. "I… I don't know. Sorry. That was weird of me."

"It's, uh… it's fine." He reached up to the collar of his suit and pulled his loosened bowtie down, scrunching it in his sweaty palm. "Do you… want to, um… try again?"

Her own hands squeezed on the lap of her frilly, midnight-blue dress, which looked a soulless, unfeeling black in the car light. She pressed her molars together, grinding them slightly back and forth. "I… yeah. We should try that again."

When he pulled his eyes up, and stared back at her, she noticed she couldn't meet his gaze anymore. "Uh… okay. Here goes."

She felt a wash of relief when he closed those sad, green eyes again, then drew a deep breath, closed her own eyes, and tried to lean forward, trying to force her own lips to un-tuck themselves from her teeth. The weight on her head from her tiara slowed her movement, feeling less like an ornament and more like an anchor.

Without warning, that nervous tic in her neck flared up, and her head jerked to the side with incredible force, flinging the crown against the wooden dashboard of his father's brand-new Lexus. The impact made a metallic ding, its echo dampened by the leather interior, and the crown thunked to the driver's side floor as both of their eyes shot open once again.

They stared in shock for a minute. Audrey could feel the blood rushing into her cheeks, and little tears welling up at the sides of her eyes.

Eventually, her date sighed, then reached down towards the pedals, picked up her crown, dusted it off, and held it out back to her. "Look, it's okay. We don't have to… you know. If you don't want to."

"No, I do… I mean, I thought… I just…" Audrey let out a sigh of her own, then stared out the front window. Frank Sinatra's baritone croon eked out of the speakers on a low volume–the only part she could hear, even though she knew there was a whole horn and string section behind this particular song. "Sorry, I don't normally get tics like that… they only happen when I'm… er…"

"Nervous?" He grimaced and leaned back in his own seat, finally taking his expective gaze off of her. "Yeah. That makes sense."

Audrey gingerly reached out her left hand and took the crown back from him, gripping its pointed edges a little too tightly, her knuckles whitening against the fake gold. The trees of the park outside were silhouetted against the faded stars in the night sky, the beach just beyond reflecting and blurring those same faded stars in a splotch of shimmering light. "…I'm sorry," she exhaled. "I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."

"It's fine." His eyes still glued forward, he turned the key to the engine, the car's muted purr welling up out of the white hood in front of them. Audrey knew what that meant–the wet spots at the edge of her eyes threatening to drip down her cheek. "You want me to drive you home?"

"N-no." Despite her stutter, her response was automatic. Her stomach turned at the thought of spending any more time in this car, with him. "My house is just a couple minutes from here. I… I could use some fresh air right now. After the dance and everything. I mean, I'm just really warm. And a little stuffy. You know? Some fresh air might be nice."

He glanced down at her shoes, still in heels, and at the puffy sleeves on her dress, delicate and blowing in the air of the A/C. "You sure? I don't mind. And you're not really… er, dressed. For a walk, I mean. By yourself."

"It's fine. Really, it's fine. I'll just go." Audrey pulled the handle and pushed against the car door with all her weight, practically falling out before she steadied herself on her heels. Shutting the door behind her, she walked over past the front of the car and over to the driver's side.

He was already rolling down the window, his head slightly stuck out of the frame. "Are you sure you're sure? I really… I thought we were having a good time."

She looked out towards the ocean, folding her arms to shield the skin around her collarbones from the slightly chilly ocean breeze. "No, no… you were great. Tonight was great. Really. I had fun. I just… need some fresh air."

"Well." Through the window, she saw him shift the car into reverse. "I guess I'll see you at school on Monday?" He bit his lip.

"Yeah. Yeah!" She nodded enthusiastically, then held out her right hand vertically towards the open window. "Thanks, Derek."

He stared at her open hand, then looked back up at her. "A handshake?"

Audrey looked down at her extended hand, then pulled it back. "Er, sorry. My bad." She massaged her palm with the other hand. He was still standing there, wearing a dumbfounded expression, seemingly waiting for something. "So… have a good night…?"

"Er, yeah." He shook his head as if to wake himself up, then waved a hand. "Have a good night, Audrey." With that final motion, he pressed down the gas pedal, pulled out in a curved shape, and took the car out of the parking lot.

It wasn't until she saw the white car turn the corner back towards town that Audrey finally released the tension in her shoulders.

The ocean's waves crashed against the shore. The moon hung right above the city, its glow cutting into the handful of tall buildings that littered the skyline, a handful of office lights on despite it being a late Saturday. The sloped road leading up to the city gleamed with headlights, each winking in and out of existence to Audrey's eyes.

Something about dealing with people, remembering that they existed, and feeling the nuance that sculpted each of their individual lives–suddenly, it all felt so overwhelming to Audrey, so she turned back towards the park and the beach in front, in its empty and unpopulated simplicity.

She'd never felt like this before. Her body was moving on its own, her mind a cacophony of six different voices–the adult, chewing her out for acting with such immaturity; the child, throwing a tantrum that she put herself into such a foreign and scary situation; the girl, pining away for her likely-now-lost fairy-tale high school romance; the boy, bullying her for being such a weird emotional wreck; the teenager, laughing at her for being so uncool about everything…

And finally, there was Audrey herself, in the corner, surrounded by critics on all sides, trying to protest that it couldn't possibly be her fault–it was something, something else that made her screw up.

It was the cold steel of the playground swings in her shaking, wet palms that finally shut everything up and brought her back to reality; and then, there she was, swaying barely, effortlessly, back and forth in the breeze.

"aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" she screamed out into the grey ether of the night, her voice giving out at the tail end. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" she mumbled repeatedly, hoarse and gasping in between the words.

Her body moved on its own again–one of her hands was now pressing the edges of the tiny cross on her necklace. She knew wouldn't go with the dress when she put it on before the dance, but the thought of leaving it home on one of the most important nights of her life was too much to bear. All night she thought it felt too big–flicking against her skin as she had danced, leaving tiny red marks right beneath her collarbone–but now, it seemed all too small, unable to guide her out of whatever she was feeling.

It was when she looked down at her feet that she started to notice something was wrong–the tiny wood chips between her toes revealing a sore lack of the high heels she had remembered wearing just a moment ago. I should go find those, probably, and keep them with the crown… she thought to herself. …oh, shoot. When did I drop the crown!?

The panic overtook every other emotion she had been feeling–after all, Mom would kill her if she really had lost it–and she slipped off the swing, whipping her head around and despearately scanning the entire park, when she noticed a tiny silhouette off by the tennis courts.

"Hey!" A voice, husky but unmistakably a woman's, called out to her from behind the gate. "You! In the dress! You care if I keep this?"

"Ah–" Audrey started, now more shocked than panicked. "Um, no, sorry, I actually need to bring that home, if that's alright!" she yelled across the playground, then stood up and began to jog up towards the courts.

The figure moved up towards the edge of the chain-link gate. "So… do you just enjoy hucking your valuables towards the ocean for fun or something…?"

As Audrey approached, she could parse more detail of the silhouette–a girl, probably two years her junior, wearing a lacy black dress that was all too tight around her skinny legs and torso, cut off just above the knees, holding something lit and glowing in her mouth with two fingers, and, in the other hand, holding the Prom Queen crown against her waist.

"Not exactly." Audrey hugged her own shoulder. "Just… going through some stuff right now. Needed to take it out somewhere, I guess."

The girl chuckled, coughing from the smoke in between little laughs. "Prom, huh? I hear you." She gestured down at her own dress, which Audrey now noticed had a single sizable rip on the side of the torso. "Me too."

Audrey laughed back, weakly. "Glad someone else gets it. Though… it looks like your night went a little differently than mine." She gestured to the tear in the other girl's dress.

"Oh, this? Don't worry–it's not what you think. I did that myself. Stupid thing was making it hard to breathe." She tilted her head to the side, then wound up, and threw the crown with all her might towards the tennis net–where it bounced off, then bounced once on the ground, and landed upside-down.

"Hey…" Audrey grimaced. "Don't throw it. I kinda need that."

"Sorry, it looked fun when you did it." The girl smirked, then took another draw. "And it was. I think I'll have to keep it for myself."

Audrey raised an eyebrow. "Um, no. That mine. I earned it."

The girl laughed–though it might've been more accurate to call it a cackle. "Excuse me, how'd you earn this? By being some kinda popular cheerleader slut? Believe me, that's not an accomplishment. Besides, it'll look cuter on me."

Audrey let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not a cheerleader. Though some of my friends are, and they are perfectly decent people. C'mon, give it back."

"No way. I don't do favors for strangers. You haven't even told me your name, Miss Not-a-Cheerleader-but-probably-a-whore."

"Audrey. Now can I have my crown back?"

"Nice to meet you, Audrey." An evil grin crept across the girl's face. "Now you ask what my name is."

"Fine. What's your name, random tennis court smoker and jewelry thief?" Audrey could feel the exasperation leaking out of her mouth–it wasn't a feeling she terribly enjoyed.

"Xanthippe." She jogged over and picked up the crown, then sat down and rubbed the central jewel in its center with her fingers. "But, since my parents were on drugs when they named me, you can just call me Xan. Or 'Tennis Court Smoker', since that sounded cool when you said it."

"Okay, Xan, if you could please stop fondling my crown and give it back."

"Hmm. I don't know. You did say not to throw it, and there's sorta this huge gate in between us…" Xan looked up and down, mockingly measuring its height with her eyes. "And you said not to throw it, and this gate only locks from the inside, sooo…"

"Look here," Audrey huffed. "Clearly, we've both had a heck of a night, and I don't want to have to climb this thing and make it worse for both of us. Help a sister out."

Xan didn't budge an inch. "You're not climbing jack. Not in that frilly poof of cloth. So unless you plan to strip for me, right in the middle of this park, you better start talking nicely to the one person who can open the gate for you, sister."

"Ha. You think I won't?" The exasperation was morphing into a sort of psychotic, self-destructive energy. Audrey was also not a fan of this sensation.

Xan laid down on her side, one hand propping up her hand, the other still possessively rubbing in between the gaps in the crown. "Bet."

Audrey gripped that same part on the lap of her dress, and tried to rip it back with all the force she could muster. The entire front side tore open, exposing the stockings underneath, just barely above her knees. She recoiled back in shock.

"Jesus Christ, you actually did it." Xan spoke with whispered admiration. "Okay, okay–don't take any more clothes off, I'll let you in." She stood up, walked over, undid the lock with a natural, one-handed motion, and swung open the gate.

Irked by the feeling of wind on only her front half, Audrey reached down and tore the rest of the circle of fabric off, and, as she stepped out and away from it, the wind kicked up, and blew the poofy midnight-blue fabric out into the street. The two girls stared at the shiny material as it danced under the street lights and down the block.

"Welp. Didn't know littering was going to be on my list of activities for tonight." Audrey groaned.

"Hey, at least now we're both criminals, sister." Xan waved her in with her free hand. Resigned, Audrey trudged onto the court, its rubbery surface cool against the soles of her feet. Xan flicked a switch that lit up the court, then meandered over to a box on the side of the court, and produced two rackets and a beat-up tennis ball. "How 'bout a game?"

"I dunno, it's late, and… I mean, I really just want to get the crown back and go home."

"Cool–we can play for the crown, then. Makes things a little spicier." Xan bounced ball a couple times, catching it silently with her palm towards the sky.

"Not that I don't love the game, and if you give me your number, maybe we could play some other time, but right now, I just…" Audrey's sentence drifted off, and she began idly playing with her cross necklace again.

Xan eyed the cross, her expression growing concerned. "Ah, shoot. I try not to toke around Christians. You're not gonna rat me out, are you?"

Audrey shook her head. "Do I look like the kind of person who'd try to get you in trouble for something like that? Believe me–the kids at our school would've never voted me as prom royalty if they heard I was a snitch."

"Huh." Xan took the joint out of her mouth and stomped it out on the ground. "Thought you'd be on about 'saving my eternal soul from sin' or something like that."

"I mean, I do care. I wouldn't do it and I certainly don't encourage it." Audrey sighed and sat down on the court–the surface felt equally nice through her stockings on her calves. "But that's between you and God. Supposedly He sent us down here to learn free will, and the least I can do is respect that… as long as you don't try to force it on me." She gave a nasty look to the pile of ash on the once-clean tennis court. "…or deface public property."

"Hey, I'm not the one with her prom dress flying out around the streets like a plastic bag," Xan laughed, grabbing a plastic bag out of her purse on the ground. "First stone and whatnot."

"Mmm." Audrey laid down all the way on the court, letting herself close her eyes and finally cut out some of the world's sensations.

"You, uh… you really think God cares?" Xan paused in between her words, and Audrey heard some light tapping, paper folding, and the flick of a lighter. "About us in general, not the whole drugs thing. I mean, look at us tonight–two girls, with ripped dresses, alone in the middle of a park on prom night. That really make you think we have a loving 'Father in Heaven' and all that?"

"Ha." Audrey gave a light chuckle. "I mean, I can see what you're getting at. But I've never really doubted it–even tonight, I guess. I don't know your story, but I can say pretty squarely that it went badly because of me and my own choices. I like to think God's up there right now, and he understands what I'm going through, and when I'm ready to move forward, he's gonna help me be better about… well, everything, I guess."

"That's a really positive attitude for someone in your position." Xan took another hit, letting out a barely-noticeable moan of relief. "I dunno. I feel like random stuff just happens, and sometimes it sucks, and sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's our fault, and sometimes it's not." She rolled the tennis ball over to Audrey, who now had her eyes open and was staring up at the stars.

Audrey caught the rolling ball in her left hand. "Well, beliefs aside… isn't that just a more depressing way to live? Wouldn't it be nice if no matter who you are, or what you were going through, you knew that there was somebody up there who cared about you?"

"Maybe." Xan hugged her knees to her chest. "But then I'd worry that he'd just be pretending to care in order to get what he wants. Just like everyone else."

Audrey sat up and looked over at Xan, whose hands were now shaking, flicking small bits of ash from the blunt over her own dress. "That's… a really sad thing to think. Even for people in our position."

"Mmm." Xan took an extra-long draw, holding her breath for longer than seemed humanly possible, and closed her eyes.

Standing up, Audrey walked over by the box and picked up a tennis racket. "Maybe a game would be nice. Probably wouldn't hurt to think a little less right now."

"Yeah? You think so?" Xan's eyes lit up. "You wanna do the bet?"

"Sure," Audrey laughed. "At this point… why not, I guess?"

"Hmm…" Xan thought to herself, putting her fist to her chin as she stood up. "I bet we can make it even spicier. Let's say… if you win, I'll give you the crown, and I'll quit smoking weed."

Audrey did a double-take. "Seriously? Just like that?"

Xan shrugged. "Sure. My boyfriend says I've been doing it too much lately, anyway. Might as well go cold turkey."

"…okay, then. And if you win?"

"I get to keep the crown, and throw it any time I'd like." Xan spoke matter-of-factly, until a smile crept into her tone. "And, you have to hit this. Just once." She waved the blunt around in the air.

"…you're kidding. You know I can't do that."

"C'mon, it's just once! I only buy the good indica, trust me. You'll feel super relaxed, have a nice walk home, then wake up tomorrow feeling perfectly normal, I promise. Like it never happened."

"Hmm…" Audrey mused it over in her head. The same self-destructive impulse still rumbled beneath her own conscious thought, she was sure–but at the same time, she knew something that Xan didn't. She stuck out her hand. "Okay, deal."

"Heck yeah." Xan shook her hand, then picked up her own racket. "No takebacks, yeah?"

"No takebacks," Audrey parroted back, trying to stifle her own grin. "Especially after I tell you that I was a three-time gold medalist at regionals back in fourth grade."

"Oh, no kidding?" Xan smirked. "That reallyyyy sucks for me–I've never even played a tournament, much less a professional one."

"It would appear it does." Audrey gripped the tennis racket and took her position at the edge of the court. "Should I explain the rules to you? Or would you rather just lose quickly?"

"Mm… I think I'm good. I tend to get tired after my fourth or fifth blunt. Best if it's a quickie." Xan tapped the racket against the artificial clay.

"Your funeral. Love-Love." Audrey tossed the ball into the air, the green fuzz peeking out around a dark silhouette in the floodlights. She wound her whole body back, then sprung her whole arm forward like an elastic band, rocketing the ball to the other side at a blinding speed. She caught Xan's expression as it came down–the other girl looked calm, almost bored, and lazily raised the racket just barely to her right.

To Audrey's surprise, the ball hit the ground, reflected right off Xan's racket, and bounced up in a painfully slow arc, just barely taller than the height of the net itself. She dashed forward, her powerful legs launching her forward towards the very front–but it was too late.

The ball flopped over the top, fell down to the other side, and pattered weakly towards Audrey, who stared dumbfounded at the ball as she tried to slow her own momentum.

"Oh, wow! Nice to finally have some luck tonight." Xan clapped her hands together. "Mind if we switch off serving? Since it's only one game, and all."

"Yeah, sure, that… that should be fine." Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, Audrey lobbed the ball back over to her opponent's side, then backed up to her own position.

Xan lazily tossed the ball in the air, then gently brought her racket up to meet it just as the ball reached its peak. The serve was slow–but oddly… calculated, Audrey mused, eyes tracing the ball as it floated delicately over to the back of the other side. With that same whipping-elastic force, she slammed the ball over to the other side, before noticing that she had lost sight of where Xan stood.

Right up against the net, Xan stood ready, racket up and angled slightly downwards. The ball smashed against her racket, which somehow seemed to kill all of its momentum, and the ball once again fell weakly to the orange clay right below, far out of Audrey's reach.

"Oh myy." Xan started again, holding a hand up to her mouth in mock surprise. "Who would've thought that a ball going that fast would hit my little old–"

"Okay, okay, stop." Audrey walked up and thunked Xan lightly on the head. "You've clearly played this game before, you don't need to act dumb." She bit her lip. "And besides, I didn't know we were gonna play on a clay court."

"Your fault. You even sat down and felt it beforehand." Xan stuck out her tongue. "And besides, Daddy likes it when I act like a brat."

"…Daddy?"

"…my boyfriend. Sorry."

"Oh yeah? And where is he, anyway? Doesn't a child like you have somewhere else to be?" Audrey huffed.

"I'm sorry, aren't you also alone in the middle of a park on a Saturday night? And here I thought we had a real connection." Xan wagged a finger back at her. "Serve it already, Prom Queen."

Audrey grit her teeth, wound back, and, sacrificing accuracy for power, recklessly slammed the ball, and, as it sliced through the wind like hot butter on an expensive chef's knife, was thrilled to watch Xan as she quickly switched to a scared look and jumped off to the side, far out of the range of the ball.

"A-ha! Take that!" Audrey shouted, pointing a finger over the court. "Not so smug when I actually try, huh? What, can't be bothered to hit it back?"

Xan shrugged, re-adopting her listless expression. "Not when it's out-of-bounds, no."

"…absolute bull," Audrey half-mumbled, half-growled, though silently admitting that she hadn't even seen where it had bounced–she was too busy looking at her opponent. "Fine. Love and forty. Game point. My serve."

"Y'know, it really is good stuff," Xan said as she yawned, stretching her arms up into the air, her not-even-tied-up hair falling around her shoulders. "I'm pretty sure God only gets mad if you smoke skunk. Here, let me start on your roll while you serve the ball."

Audrey was too livid to try and figure out how much Xan was actually joking. She drew a deep breath and tried to focus the rage into strategic thinking. It was clear that Xan knew this particular court well, and was counting on Audrey not being used to the short bounce of the ball. If she could just account for that in her own play, it's possible that she could catch her opponent off guard–and if she could do that, surely the mental torture would slip up, as well.

With calm precision, Audrey tossed the ball upwards, and made a reasonably-fast strike for the center of the court. And now, just like in the car earlier that night, she could see again.

Xan's legs jolted forward in a strict fashion, her arm mechanically moving in a straight arc to prepare for the backhand. Her whole body was robotic–like a machine that needed to conserve the most power possible while playing. Audrey felt her own body move like a river of water, flowing up towards the front of the net to return with a soft tap over the edge, putting Xan in the same position as she herself had been in on the second point.

Predictably, Xan stepped forward to catch it, and, using the most efficient and straightforward movement possible, extended the arm to bop the ball back up. Audrey smiled–she had figured Xan would have at least one level of counterplay against her own strategy. Audrey angled her racket upwards and tapped the ball with just a little bit more force this time, causing it to soar high above both the girl's heads, right over to the back of the court.

Gasping, Xan lurched backwards, but it was too late–the ball was already heading towards the ground. She looked at Audrey, and for one moment, Audrey relished the surprise in her eyes, until Xan tripped over her own backstep and fell while bringing her racket up–where it met the ball, lobbed it back over, and plopped down on the back of Audrey's side, completely out of her reach.

"You've… got… to be… kidding." Audrey's eyes widened and she crumpled into a sitting position on the ground. "There is no way you did that on purpose."

"Dang, so it landed in-bounds?" Xan laid flat on her back, breathing heavily. "Yeah, uh, that actually was luck. I definitely did not have that."

A bead of sweat dropped off Audrey's hanging forehead and splashed onto the clay.

"Good job, there, sister." Xan choked out as she turned over and dry-heaved a few times, clutching her stomach. "That… was one of the better games I've played this year. Ugh, that fall was really rough, I'm gonna puke."

"Gross," Audrey exhaled. More sweat dripped to the ground. "So… you're secretly a pro, huh? Felt like I would've seen you at a game or two. Or at least heard of you. To get that good… I imagine you've been playing since grade school, too?"

"Nah, nothing like that." Xan practically crawled over to the side of the gate, where she hurled into the bushes. "I play here with the seniors at Palma Retirement 'bout three times a week, or so. Saw it while my mom's business was on contract to clean the place a few years ago. Thought it looked fun. But hey, if I can beat someone that's gonna go pro…"

"Ha, as if." Audrey laughed. "I quit playing three years ago. Lost a comp and and threw a real temper tantrum about it. Mom said I couldn't do competitions anymore until I learned to be a better sport."

"A temper tantrum? Wouldn't you have been like… I dunno, 14?"

"Hmm." Audrey wiped her forehead, then chuckled. "Yeah, thereabouts. Does sound silly when you put it that way."

"Crazy." Xan sat up and dragged her arm across her mouth. "But you're still competing, huh? Y'know, with the Prom Royalty stuff and all?"

"I guess. It just seemed attainable and fun. Nowadays I mostly just want to settle down and be… normal. Happy." Audrey sighed with a weak smile. "For a long time, I had nothing but tennis and God, so when that got taken away, all I really had was… well, God."

"And God wanted you to blow the entire football team so you could make Prom Queen?" Xan teased–while ironically trying to steady herself into learning up against the chain link fence where she had just thrown up.

"Y'know, I really don't know where that stereotype comems from." Audrey walked over and sat herself down next to Xan. "People vote for people that they like–and you really don't have to do anything special to get them to like you. Just be nice."

"Please." Xan rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you had to make eyes at some people to get it to happen. Like that date you just ditched in the white Lexus."

"Derek?" Audrey grimaced. "Well, he was my boyfriend. I'm not so sure, now."

"Yeah? Your fault, or his?"

"Mine." Audrey swallowed a lump in her throat. "I… uh… well, it isn't good to say this, but…"

Xan bumped her shoulder. "Go on."

"Well, he tried to kiss me and… I kinda realized I don't like him. Like, at all." Audrey let out a guilty half-laugh, not sure how to cope with her own confession.

"Oh gosh. You guys sound like such high-schoolers."

"Excuse me?" Audrey nudged her back. "You're like… what, 15?"

"Yeah, but my boyfriend's older. Much older. So it avaerages out." Xan winked. "Honestly, I'm kinda jealous. High school drama would be a nice change of pace, maybe."

"I'm scared to ask." Audrey paused. "But I am curious."

Xan sighed. "We've been dating for a long time–four or five years, I think? He never remembers our anniversary, anyway, so I just try to not keep track anymore." She had already rolled another blunt from somewhere, and started taking her characteristic long draws again.

"That's… well, I really try not to judge, but that's really messed up. Are you, um…?" She paused. She never felt sure how to talk about things that were actually serious.

"Okay? I'm not sure. I'm probably screwed up in the head from being 'activated' so young but… well, to be honest, I try not to think about it. Life is what it is, and what happened, happened." Xan laid her head on Audrey's shoulder. "And besides, lately I'm more worried about his drug problem than the age gap."

Audrey eyed the blunt in Xan's mouth rather conspicuously.

Xan sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I know. But he does the hard stuff. Fentanyl. Cesalt. Amphetamines. That kinda thing. Stopped paying his rent so he could keep getting pills. I imagine he's gonna OD sooner or later."

Audrey hugged her closer. "I know I'm just some random that you played tennis with, and I know I said I'd let you live your life but…" her voice dropped to a concerned whisper. "Well, I can't hear about this and not worry about you. We have to do something."

"Do what?" Xan's voice cracked. "Report him to the police? Get him locked up so he dies alone, shiv'd in a prison cell, bleeding out on a concrete floor?" Her tone was nearing hysterics before it dropped in pitch. "I… I can't do that to him. I know he's not a good person. I know we are not good together. But… Audrey… I still love him. I really do. And I don't know how to kill that part of me, because believe me, if I could…"

Xan took another hit and exhaled. Audrey squeezed her even tighter.

"I would. I would in an instant." Xan spoke softly. "But I can't."

The two girls sat there for a while–Audrey unsure what to do other than stay close by, and Xan heaving and smoking and weeping, sounding worse with each passing minute.

The crickets chirped. The wind rustled the palm trees above. The ocean crashed against the waves. Audrey's mind began to wander, and she thought of the love that Xan had found, how it felt so overwhelmingly strong, nothing like how she had ever felt with Derek, but how it kept her trapped, miserable, always passionate, but never really happy. Would she ever find love like that?

Did she actually want to find love like that?

Something in Xan's purse buzzed. She sniffled and reached inside, looked at the phone, pointing its screen away from Audrey's face, then threw it over the fence and out towards the beach.

"…who was that?"

"Nobody. Nobody that matters anymore." She buried her face deeper into Audrey's dress. Audrey stroked Xan's long, black hair.

"So… you did win the game and all, so you can keep the crown," Audrey tilted her head "And, well, if it makes you feel better, I guess I can smoke with you tonight."

Xan sat up and raised a barely-visible eyebrow through the tears and sweat. "For real? You don't have to do this–honestly, it was childish of me to put that on you."

"No, no, it's fine." Audrey shrugged. "You and I gotta be sisters tonight, like you said. And besides, you said it's not a sin if it's the good stuff, right?"

"Huh. I guess I did say that," Xan laughed, then grabbed her purse. "Aaaand that's why I now absolutely cannot let you have any of it."

"Er, what?" Audrey laughed herself. "C'mon, I'm letting you get what you want. Just don't put too much in there, it's my first–and only–time."

"Nope. Nuh-uh." Xan shook her head. "Last thing I need is for you to like it. If we're going to be sisters, I can't have you addicted just as badly as I am."

Audrey rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. Everyone knows it's not chemically addictive. Just one hit! That's all!"

Xan hid her purse behind her back. "Okay, now you sound like the addict. I liked you better when you were still a good Christian."

"Alright, fine." Audrey stood up. "I didn't want your skunk trash, anyway." She locked hands with Xan and pulled her up next to her. "Can you promise me something?"

"Sure… what?" Xan stared into her eyes. It felt like a deeper stare than anything Audrey had felt before. She liked the feeling.

"Get out of that relationship. Take care of yourself. If we're going to be friends, I can't watch you suffer like this. It'll hurt me, too."

Xan smiled, wiping her nose with her arm. "…okay. That's a deal. As long as you promise we'll be friends like you said."

"That's not even a deal." Audrey drew her into a hug. "That's just something I'd do for you anyway." Audrey felt another sniffle on her shoulder. "You got a place to stay tonight?"

"Not really, anymore."

She pulled away, still holding Xan by her tiny shoulders. "You should come stay with me for a while. It's okay. Mom was already pissed when I told her I was gonna bring somebody home on prom night."

"…you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."