"If you don't know what mystery is, then try to live in shadow"

London. A city Eva had known before. She was born here and here for the first time she found out what betrayal means when she saw one day while passing on the street with Miss Anna Ground, her father with another lady.

For a 5-years-old girl, it was something that really impressed her and not precisely in a good way. Till now she had always asked herself why her father had never found any time to spend with her and now she had found out that cruel answer.

He always was gone somewhere and days or even weeks could pass without him returning home and this was something that was really injuring little Eva’s heart.

But in time it became something usual. Eva stopped waiting for him and found a refuge in the books’ world. It didn’t really matter what the story was about, but the simple fact that Eva could identify herself with one of the characters, live his story as being her, it gave her a reason to continue to live and to smile.

And she could smile only being a character – in her real world, it wasn’t anything that could have brought her happiness. Nobody was caring about her and being your own master does not always mean something bad. Being free, Eva could sink in books and find new worlds, but being free also meant being alone.

Eva also remembers that when they saw Alfred Stonebridge with his new lover, Miss Anna tried to turn on a different street, but Eva just stopped and continued to stare at Alfred who was too busy to court his new love affair than to watch around. For him, nothing else was important at that moment and the fact that his little girl was standing behind him, asking herself how could her father act like this in the middle of the street, wasn’t something that really mattered. Even if he would have turned and seen her, he probably would have just passed by, pretending that nothing happened, convinced that a 5-years-old girl hasn’t the minimum idea about such stories and that she will forget about it as all the children of her age.

But Eva never forgot it. Why? She never knew. She tried to forget, but it was so hard and so stuck in her heart, like a thorn that sank into the ground and took root immediately.

That thorn that always made Eva’s heart bleed was called Alfred Stonebridge. He was a father and protector for Eva, but also a real jerk that would not have given a damn about her suffering, as he had never been concerned about her mother’s suffering.

If Helen Walker would have known what life was waiting for Eva, she probably would have never asked Alfred to take care of their little girl. It would have been better if Eva had grown up in the old housekeeper’s dwelling than changing places and surroundings as Eva always did with such speed that she thought that they were really running off something or somebody without knowing that this was really like that.

Being a game addict, Alfred was always immersed in debts. Almost all the creditors and wealthiest people in town had to deal with Alfred, who if he did not ask for money on loan he was hiding, due to non-payment of debts.

When Alfred decided to return to Immaje, he thought that his problems were over, but he found out soon that it wasn’t like that. Addiction is a strange disease that cannot be cured with simple medicine. You need a strong character and wish to live out of gambling winners’ vertigo and it wasn’t precisely something that Alfred had or at least he would have never thought to stay away from it.

But what was really cruel was that Eva found out too early what a creditor means to enter your house asking for his money. It isn't a pleasant thing to watch how some strangers are searching your home to find valuables, how they are taking away things that you started to care about and you can’t do anything about. You just stay and watch how your father is kneeling in front of a hideous strange man that is carrying a gun whose barrel is touching your father’s forehead. But in time you get used to it and the same did Eva. When such an event was approaching, she just took a book and went to read on the bench near the lake.

The carriage passes along the narrow, darkened street at the slow step of the horses. When the wheel passed above a stone and the carriage trembled, Eva woke up from her catnap and looked around.

Outside was a dark night and the same view was inside the carriage. Soon after this, Albert, the cartman, lit a small lantern in which was burning a small white wax candle, a sign that Miss Davis was spending her little money on something valuable and she was really caring about her appearance in society.

Miss Emily is asleep or at least this was the first thought that passed through Eva’s mind when she glanced at this old miss.

It was something really strange about this woman. Her external appearance was of a real lady. Her way of speech: mannered and cultural, her vestment is reminding Eva about the events of the High Society Circles in which Eva’s favorite heroes used to spend their evenings, but her glance was hiding something mystical and at the same time dangerous and Eva wasn’t still able to catch the real meaning of this glance.

Miss Davis had suddenly opened her eyes and caught Eva’s glance analyzing her. “Something happened, miss Stonebridge?”, asked the old miss with a sure pleasant voice while arranging her vestment which was a little bit wrinkled because of the long road.

“Nothing special. I was just wondering if still is a long way till our final destination”, asked Eva trying to hide the trembling of her voice.

“A quarter of an hour or less. It’s just right in the center of the city”, replied Miss Davis and opened a book trying this way to break the short interrogatory that was about to start. The light was too dim to see something in that book, but Miss Davis preferred at least to pretend that she was reading than to continue that strange conversation.

She had nothing against small conversations, but she really didn’t like to give explanations about what was happening. While spending some time with wealthy people of those times, Emily Davis preferred to listen than to talk, and in most of the cases, she understood, in the end, that it was the right choice. Those conversations, most of the time, were gossip about others who weren’t present there, but right at the moment that the one whom the conversation was about approached their circle, the theme was being automatically changed in a different direction without forcing anybody to feel not the slightest discomfort.

Emily Davis was born in the family of a well-known pianist of those times who died too soon because of debts and sickness. When he had fallen to the bed, being shaken by fever, none of the doctors that had been called to check him could tell Emily’s mother what kind of disease was that or how it could be cured. They tried everything: from traditional medicine to really expensive concoctions, but nothing brought results and, in the end, Emily’s father died, leaving behind him a 10 years old girl and a far too young wife who had sunk in debts.

Because she hadn't anything left, Emily’s mother saw herself forced to make a decision. So, she brought Emily to “Red Ants’ dwelling” one Sunday morning in December and after knocking on the door three times an old lady about 70, who Emily had found out after this that she was known as Miss Marcial, opened the door and without saying a word, she let them in.

She still remembers that morning and what came after it. Stepping on the threshold of that imposing house, Emily and her mother felt that they definitely stepped into a new world.

Not for nothing that house was called the “Red Ants”. Everything inside was covered with red and black velvet and only the wooden furniture had certain shades of dark-grey, brown, and light fresh-yellow of the wooden stairs newly renovated.

It had been something pleasant to watch that interior. The atmosphere was calm and warm and pleasant piano music was heard from one of the living rooms. At first, Emily thought that somebody was playing a real piano, but in the end, she understood that a record was playing on a gramophone.

Emily had never seen a gramophone until that morning. She always used to hear her father playing the piano in their house while he was learning someone else’s composition or trying to compose something by himself. He also started to teach Emily to play the piano when she was 5, but soon he understood with such sorrow that the little girl had nothing related to the music and she definitely will never play as he does. And because of this he immersed deeply in his depression and soon he just gave up teaching her and he tried to spend as little time as possible with Emily considering her as being his biggest disappointment in this life.

And his attitude toward her did not go unnoticed. After a few failed attempts, to approach him again, after hours and hours of practicing, Emily understood that was useless. She hadn’t her father’s talent for playing piano and no matter what she would have done it isn’t something that you can buy at the market and use as yours. And the girl also gave up. This made her even more silent that till that moment and because her mother was too busy trying to find the medicine for her husband, she also hadn’t enough time to spend with Emily and this way to notice the squall from the little girl’s heart.

“Good morning, Christine”, Emily’s mother addressed the woman that entered the room. “How are businesses?”

“You know that they are really good, Marie. As it always was”, answered Christine.

Emily raised her glance and looked at miss Christine. She was a woman about 36, still young enough and beautiful, with big dark-brown eyes, shaded by long, bushy eyelashes, long dark hair, and red-tasty lips. She was short, with short chubby legs and arms, but what was really impressive was the long skinny fingers. Probably she used to play the piano since she was a little girl and this gave her a strange charm that made the men that used to step the threshold of her dwelling crawl at her feet.

“Let’s move to the living room”, mentioned Miss Christine when the same old servant that opened the door, Miss Marcial brought a tray with three cups of tea, some sugar, and cookies.

Both mother and daughter sat down on chairs covered with dark velvet material and Miss Marcial put a cup of tea in front of each of them.

“Some sugar, Ms. Davis”, said Ms. Marcial to my mother.

“Thanks, Ms. Marcial. I used to drink it with two cubes of sugar only”, answered my mother with a large smile on her face.

What was really strange was the fact that my mother wasn’t feeling weird in the presence of Miss Christine and Ms. Marcial. Emily had the feeling that these three women knew each other for a long time and that they also have an interesting unfinished story behind them.

“Why are you here, Marie?”, asked this time Miss Christine, and Emily could notice in her glance a strange glittering of hate or maybe old grudge.

“It’s just…”, mumbled my mother and drank a sip from her tea.

“I knew you lost your shame, long time ago, when you married Pierre Davis and moved to his house, but I never knew or at least I tried to forget the fact that you could return here after what you did to me,'' answered Miss Christine with a visible unpleasant tone.

“What did my mother do to her?”, wondered Emily while glancing by turn at both women. She also could notice how her mother was clenching her left fist, a sign she was really upset and about to explode. Something was boiling in the air. A strange vibration of emotions, old and new, that was about to break its strings and hurt somebody.

“I’m definitely not here to ask you for a loan, Christine”, said Marie Davis. “I just don’t know what to do now. I think you had already found out about Pierre’s death and the debts he left behind him. If I am here it is because I thought about it a lot and I decided that it’s the only thing I can do now for my little Emily. Please, Christine, receive her here. At least for a while, till I’ll gather some money and I’ll take her back then”.

“What is she talking about?”, thought Emily. “Does she want to leave me here, with this strange lady, that's for sure isn’t a good person?”

Something was telling Emily that her life was about to change and not precisely in a good way. Something was floating in the air in that red-black house and this something was deeply hurting Emily’s heart. She didn’t know what was happening. She didn’t know anything about her father’s debts, but she definitely knew that she didn't want to live here. But she also hadn’t any choice.

Emily never left “Red Ants'' dwelling after that day. Not because she wouldn’t have wanted this, but because she just couldn’t. Soon after she left Emily with Christine, Marie married a rich old man hoping that when he would die, she would have enough money to redeem Emily, but fate had other plans and one and a half years later, Marie Davis was killed by the same disease that killed Pierre. And her death killed Emily inside, too.

Poor girl, she found out too soon what it means to be an orphan and what it means to have nobody who could take care of you if something happens, so she decided that it’s time to decide everything by herself, as far as possible.

When she was old enough to talk about such themes, Emily asked Miss Marcial one day if she knew something about the old story between Marie Davis and Christine Bircham, and that day, Emily found out, with stupor, that Marie Davis used to be a “Red Ant” once and that she married Pierre Davis after taking him from Christine who had the same intention: to marry some wealthy man and to leave this business.

But “what kind of business is this?”Emily asked, the old servant, but the woman preferred to keep silent. She just simply mumbled that she will find out one day and from that moment she will understand that this world is different from what she already knows.

And Miss Marcial was right. About 5 years ago after Miss Marcial’s death, when Emily was about 25 and Miss Christine decided that she sufficiently knew about it, and Emily was sent to attend her first “client”.

All the way to the marquis Chesterman's house, Emily had cried. She was afraid, she was shuddering and she just wanted to run away, but because she didn’t know where she should go, Emily just wiped the tears and smiled when the carriage stopped in front of Chesterman’s palace, and she was greeted by Luis Chesterman himself. He hasn't just opened himself the carriage door, but he also stretched his hand toward Emily to help her to descend.

“It is such a pleasure to meet you, miss Bircham”, said marquis Chesterman while glancing at Emily from head to toe. He was a man about 40, but good-looking enough for his age and he definitely was something different from all those chubby wealthy men of the 18th Century Society.

“Miss Bircham?” wondered Emily while analyzing marquis’ physiognomy. “Is he confusing me with Miss Christine?”, but soon after, Emily found out that Christine presented her as her daughter that she had a long time ago and who has been grown up by distant relatives, in the countryside. Only a few were those who knew the truth about Emily’s birth, but they preferred to keep silent either because they were caring about Christine, or because they had a lot of loans with this influential woman and it wasn't a good sign to get her upset.

A new life was open in front of Emily. Some interesting, strange future, she didn’t want, choose her and brought her in the house of a woman that had at her feet all the influential men of those times, and this way she could decide the fate of many. And the same thing she wanted to teach Emily because Christine saw herself in Emily’s character when she was still young and innocent enough to still believe in sweet dreams.

Albert stopped the carriage in front of the “Red Ants” little palace and it could definitely be called a Palace as it was built by Luis Chesterman himself and given as a present to Christine Bircham who was openly known as Chesterman’s mistress and she was even more respected than Luis Chesterman’s wife, the marquise Marianne Chesterman Loran who was always living in the shadow of Chesterman and Christine Bircham and it definitely wasn’t something that Marianne could accept for long.

“Finally, we arrived, Albert. I thought an eternity had passed until here and it's not such a long way from Immaje to London '', said Emily with a note of reproach in her voice.

“I’m sorry, Miss Bircham”, answered Albert while stretching his hand and helping Emily to get out of the carriage. “After the rain, the village roads are always hard to travel and that we took the road through the forest made it more difficult and…”

“Alright, alright, I got the point. Help miss Stonebridge to get out and bring in the luggage. Thank God we arrived. I’m so tired. I definitely need a bath and a long sleep”, continued to mumble Emily while walking toward the entrance to the Palace.

When she stepped on the ground, Eva looked amazed at the environment. Even if it was poorly illuminated, it still was so beautiful. The bushes were perfectly cut revealing different animals’ forms reminding of an imposing Garden and the leafless secular trees were definitely a symbol of kept traditions, splendor, and richness.

“Let’s go, miss Stonebridge”, said Albert while carrying Eva’s small luggage. “Inside it’s more pleasant to watch all this from the window while drinking a cup of hot tea and with the fire dancing in the chimney”. And then he simply smiled at her. A gesture that was so pleasant and so worrying for Eva. She understood then that she had a lot to learn from all of them and definitely wasn’t something that all the girls of her age had been taught home by their mothers.