Chapter One (Again Again Again)

You have 0 Race Options.

You have 0 Class Options.

You have 0 Ability Options.

You have 2 Game Play Options.

Race: Human

Class: Detective

Abilities: Deduction, Investigation, Synthesis

Game Play Options:

Lone Ranger - Generally offputting, people just don’t like you, but you don’t care. You’ve got a mission, a calling, and by god, you’re going to get it done.

Insufferable Know It All - Annoying as hell, people keep you around because you know things and won’t shut the fuck up about it.

IS THIS WHAT BOREDOM FEELS LIKE?

-WATSON>

Without waiting for Andrew, Margeaux simply sprinted outside their cave as soon as she opened her eyes, not bothering to dress.

BOOM.

Stomach clenching, Andrew watched as little bits of Margeaux scattered all over the hallway and into the cave. He could hear Zachary groaning and shuffling a little further away.

The room flickered for a moment, and then the Margeaux bits disappeared and Margeaux herself respawned in the cave.

“Is it because I’m supposed to choose Lone Ranger?” Andrew mused.

-WATSON>

“Look, I know it’s you. You don’t have to sign your name.”

It felt miffed.

…

…

…

- WATSON>

“ALRIGHT, WATSON. What do we do?” Andrew yelled, exasperated.

“Who are you talking to?” Margeaux shouted.

“Great. Great, it’s so useful having you as my Watson! What is the point of a Watson if you aren’t on my team?”Andrew stood up and began pacing the cave.

There was a gentle humming sound like overworked processors. Andrew guessed that Watson was thinking.

There was a commotion outside in the cave hallway and a series of strange noises– some high pitched and squeaky, some the now-familiar zombie moans of Zachary.

After a few moments, Zachary appeared in the cavern doorway, holding something about the size of a small terrier by two long, almost antenna-like ears. It was round, soft, and most strangely of all– sparkly pink. It had a face like an adorable little animal, with massive blue eyes, fairy wings, and a long, tufted tail. Andrew noticed with a start that it had razorblades awkwardly strapped to the end of its tail, and it was ineffectually swiping at Zachary, whose body simply began to regenerate anything sliced off.

¨Put me the fuck down!¨ The tiny creature shouted in an adorably squeaky, if loud, voice.

Zachary simply shuffled inside as a further commotion sounded out in the hallway, a regular swooshing that– and Andrew had no idea how to explain this– sounded shiny, like if a brand new, state of the art toaster grew legs and began to walk.

¨Fffff—ooo-uuuuunnnd itttttttt,” Zachary groaned, thrusting it in Andrew’s direction.

Andrew ducked just in time as the little creature’s tail sliced around dangerously close to his face.

“Just… hang on a second!” Andrew shouted, holding his hands out. “We… we come in peace, or something.”

“Well, I don’t!” the thing squeaked, but it stopped struggling so much.

“What are you?” Margeaux asked, fascinated. Cautiously, she approached.

The little thing’s eyes flicked over to the doorway for a brief moment before shouting, “I AM CANDY SPARKS, AND YOU ARE…. DEAD!”

A blast of fire erupted from the hallway and enveloped their cave door. None of it, however, came inside the cave.

“Fuck!” Candy Sparks shrieked. “Fuck!”

“Spawn areas must be a safe zone,” Andrew mused.

“Kill me. Kill me!” Candy Sparks’ tiny paws waved in the air in vicious anger. It now was vehemently trying to escape.

“Then you’ll just spawn back wherever you’re from, and kill us again when we leave,” Margeaux said with a raised eyebrow. “Who are you working with?”

“Bite me!” Candy Sparks hissed.

The firebath outside of their cave had stopped a couple of moments before, and suddenly something from one of Andrew’s nightmares appeared in their doorway.