《How a Total Loser Died and Became a World Boss》I Might Be Cheating Here

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*Equipped: -Dagger

(Item Score 000) Skin: n/a

Damage: 5

Inflict

Inflict

Inflict

Inflict

Once upon a time, while in the eight hundredth layer of a jungle themed Abyss, I defeated a monster called a Mosquito Queen. It was a weirdly sexy looking humanoid mosquito. She was also a seriously brutal enemy who’s basic attacks drained both stats and health. I had finished her off just as she stabbed me with her proboscis and by some strange glitch, a dagger appeared in my inventory. It had no requirements and did low attack damage but its effect was identical to the Mosquito Queen’s. It pulled me through some tough times when I ran low on consumables in deeper layers even though in the grand scheme my other weapons were much more effective. The developers, well the Gods must have known about it and let it slide, I believed after considering everything.

Without further ceremony, I carefully aimed the dagger and thrust it into the slime’s body being careful not to sink it too deep. With a violent vibration, the slime lost its shape unceremoniously and spread out like a slimy pancake before sinking into the grass and fallen leaves. A small surge of energy coursed into me from the dagger and I grinned. In the game, the effect had no feeling - just an increase in numbers. Here though, I physically felt the power flow into me in a warm surge of pleasure. It was amazing.

“Speaking of numbers.” I said to myself. Wonder if I can... Statistics!” I said, and this time was rewarded on the first try. I smiled, then frowned as I saw the sad state of myself.

Lain Erickson

Level: 1 XP: 5% to next Level Body Age: 29

Life: 14/14 Soul Energy: 10/10

Strength: 8+1

Endurance: 6+1

Soul: 4 +1

Agility: 6

Skills:

Age Stasis: Prime Human

Weak Acid Resistance: 1/10 *New

“So my base stats are the same as when I scanned into EG for the first time. The extra Endurance from the dagger can still boost my Life, guess that’s good to know. The effect will last about an hour if it’s the same as in game. Age Stasis? Maybe I won’t age here? The Acid Resistance has to be from getting my foot dissolved...” The very fresh memory made me shudder involuntarily.

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I sighed and closed the screen, bringing my inventory back up. I selected the ‘Perfectly Drawn Awesome Map’ and a rolled up sheet of paper appeared in my hand. I unfurled it and wanted to tear my hair out and giggle at the same time.

“Crayon. It’s actually, literally, dead seriously drawn in son of a dick-bag crayon!” I rubbed my forehead and studied it anyways.

The big ‘X’ labeled ‘You are here!’ was easy enough to understand and I could roughly match up the distant mountains on one side with the crude triangles on the so called map which gave me a sense of direction. Apparently there was a town called Filam in the opposite direction of the triangles though how far away was a total mystery to me.

I took a few minutes to reclaim all of my item skins and equipped my suit. The real life version was actually extremely comfortable, if fairly baggy and was even effective against the chill breeze that was beginning to blow across the meadow. I scanned the area around me more closely and noticed several patches of grass moving out of sync with the breeze, and looking closer at those areas I could barely make out several slimes meandering through the tall grass.

“Do I drop EDEN here and grind some slimes or head for town?” I asked myself. I had spent so many years with only myself as company that pretty much all of my thoughts were vocalized. It was a habit I barely noticed and didn’t really care to break.

“Probably better to move on, I could end up out here killing slimes for three hundred years if I’m not careful and nobody wants to hear that story twice.” I couldn’t help but snort at all the old manga references even though I cringed just a tiny bit inside at each one. Did I mention I’m a huge nerd for anime, manga, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, and trash action movies? No? Well that’s how it is, buckle up.

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“I’ll at least clear out this meadow before I go.” I decided, compromising with myself.

I pulled up my inventory and selected a couple of items to hopefully make the task easier. I had a few legendary elixirs that weren’t my most powerful but would replenish themselves over time so there would be no loss as long as they functioned properly.

*Used Item: Chalice of Endless Alacrity-Elixir

+2x Attack/Cast/Movement Speed

Duration: 59:57

Cooldown: 7:59:57

*Used Item: Bottled Fury-Elixir

+2x Physical Attack Damage

Duration: 59:59

Cooldown: 7:59:59

My vision dimmed and I felt a very strange sensation the moment I used the elixirs. Glowing red and green tendrils erupted from every part of my body, dividing thousands of times and wrapping around my entire form. I felt them syncing up to my every nerve and muscle, enhancing my strength and speed. It was a brand new feeling, and too badass to describe. My heartbeat and breathing seemed to slow down, along with the waving of the grass and the movement of the slimes which seemed to freeze altogether. My body felt light and powerful, I hadn’t felt real life ease of motion like this since my peak as an NCAA All American wrestler. My eyes lit up with a joy that I hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

“You may be a poser loli with shit drawing skills that dropped me off to clean up your mess, but as of now I’ve got your back forever.” I growled to the irresponsible goddess as I closed my right fist which glowed a faint purple from the mixed elixir effects.

Without any more wasted time, I hefted the dagger and ran to begin the slaughter. The speed doubling effect was just as I remembered it, and didn’t affect my own sense of coordination at all. To me it seemed as though I were moving at a normal speed, but the world around me in general was moving at half speed. I affectionately called it my Matrix Potion.

My first targets were two slimes that were pushing directly into one another, either fighting or trying to make more slimes I couldn’t really be sure. They deflated less than a second apart as I stabbed down twice in succession before they could register my presence at all.

I glanced at my stats a second later and did a double take. The mosquito drain effect... was stacking!? That had NEVER been a thing before. Every buff would overwrite the previous one, making the dagger fine for life steals and a decent boost in a pinch but not too much else. I could hardly believe my eyes but there it was plain as day. I also noticed that while my elixirs had a duration ticking down, the dagger’s buffs had no listed duration. They couldn’t possibly be permanent could they?

I decided to roll with it for now, after all there were still at least a dozen slimes that needed popping. The next slime and the following ten after that offered no resistance. After all they never even had a chance to react.

“Still stacking... What the fuck kinda cheat did I stumble on here?” I marveled as I checked my stats. “One more slime and I’ll level.”

I casually killed the last slime in the area, thoroughly satisfied by the coincidence of how the exact XP required for level two was equal to all the slimes in the meadow.

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