“Congratulations, Journeymen!” The Director of the EMAR said. She was a woman in her later years who took a genuine interest in those there and their success after their time in the EMAR. Natalie beamed when they were dismissed, and went to find Damien. The big man was conversing with his father in a language she didn’t understand, but swept her up in a hug the moment he saw her. “We did it, then.” He said with a grin. “Now all there is to wait on our assignments.”

Natlie’s heart sank when she thought about the impending assignments. It was all she had looked forward to for so long, but Neil’s comment when she had brought it up had tainted it slightly, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t harbor a tiny bit of resentment for her cousin. Even still she hitched a smile on her face. “I’m sure you’ll go somewhere in the Cluster.” She chattered as they made their way out of the hall. “There’s always positions for Optics researchers there, trying to turn back the clock.”

“Natalie,”

“I just don’t know where I’ll go.” She pursed her lips. “There’s a chance I might even get assigned to a medical freighter in the fleet, now that I think about it. I guess we’ll know soon, though.”

“I know where I’m going.” Damien smiled, holding her up. “I applied for the role and got it before promotion.”

“You did?” Natalie bounced on her feet, genuinely excited for her friend. “Is it in the Cluster?”

“No.” Chuckled Damien. “It’s a small research station out orbiting Titan.”

“But…” Natlie’s face fell. “I know that station. Why did you apply to go there?”

“Their head researcher contacted me, said that they had a lab, and all the toys to play with.”

“Toys that are decades old, sure.” Natalie said, running a hand through her hair. Now in addition to thinking about the prospect of leaving Neil, Damien wasn’t just being stationed outside the Cluster, but outside the Jupiter system entirely.

“Sanderson.” Damien put his hand on her shoulder. “Be happy for me. It’ll be quiet out there, just like I like it. Their artisan already has a wing set up for me, and gave me a walk through of the facility. I’m excited.”

She nodded. “Yeah… I am happy for you.”

“Liar.” He elbowed her gently in the shoulder.

“Really, Drake. I am, I’m just… I’m gonna miss you.”

Turning sad eyes on her, Damien nodded too. “I’ll miss you too. I’ve got to run and see my parents before they head off again. I’ll pop by before I leave. Don’t know when it’ll be, but I’ll let you know.

She nodded, and he left. And there Natalie stood, alone in the hallways fighting down tears. What should have been a highlight of her career as a scientist and researcher seemed to be dragging her down, and she found herself wandering back to her quarters. When she arrived, there was an alert on her personal holo-projector. She ignored it, not wanting much to talk to whoever it was, regardless of who they were.

Then Natalie threw herself on her back, fully intent on staring at the ceiling until she fell asleep.

But the holo-projector pinged again. She grabbed it, looked at the address calling in, and sat bolt upright. Placing it in front of her she tried to right her hair and uniform before accepting the transmission.

The bust of Admiral Neerson shimmered into existence. “I believe congratulations are in order,” He said with a smile. “Journeyman Sanderson, well done.”

“Thank you sir.”

“I have been looking over the materials you sent me on cybernetic limbs. You are quite right. It is stimulating material.”

“I tried to warn you, sir.” She said with an attempt at a smile.

“Indeed.” Neerson frowned. “Is everything alright, Journeyman?”

“Yes sir. One of my friends here has his assignments already.”

“Most fortunate for him. I trust it is an outpost of his liking and catered to his area of study.”

“He says it is, sir. But it’s in the Saturn system, if you can call it a system, and he’s… just going to be very far away.” She finished a bit lamely.

“RAE Station Vulcan, is it?”

“Yes sir.”

At this Neerson paused for nearly a full count of ten, seeming to be lost deep in thought. “Then perhaps it is good that I went with my first instinct and decided that I would be the one to give you the news.”

“News?” Natalie felt an odd combination of her heart leaping with hope and her stomach dropping with dread. The calculations raced through her mind as she thought: perhaps it was an assignment on board Neerson’s own ship? Sometimes commanders got in touch with the Journeymen personally. But if that’s what he was calling her for, would it take her even farther away from Damien? From Neil? From everything she had ever known? “What news, sir?”

“Sergeant First Class Valentine has made his decision in regards to his treatment, and has requested to be moved to the station which gives him the greatest chance of success. Your cousin, Sergeant First Class Ziggenbor, has requested to be transferred with him.”

“Do you know why, sir?”

“I would not be so presumptuous.” Neerson said. “After what those men have gone through together, however, it’s little wonder. Their reasons, however, remain for the time their own.”

“And…” Natalie took a deep breath, going through the procedures left open to Valentine, narrowing it down, and moving on to the stations where such a thing could be carried out. “The station, sir?”

“The RAE Station Vulcan.” Neerson said quietly. “I am sorry, Journeyman.”

Natalie felt her throat constrict in that suddenly sore way that it always did when emotions were high. “Sir…” She said, more out of habit than anything, and for the first time Neerson looked truly troubled. “Do you… need some time, Journeyman?”

“No.” She said at once. “Sir, do you know what my assignment is?”

“I am not privy to that information, Journeyman.”

“Can you get me there?”

Neerson blinked. “I don’t know if it would be wise for me to interfere in RAE corps matters.”

“They haven’t given me my assignment yet either, sir, which means it hasn’t been finalized. If you can change my assignment—“

“I can do no such thing, Journeyman.” Neerson said curtly, picking up his tablet and tapping it a few times. “I’m sorry there’s not more that I could do to alter the situation, but unfortunately,” he set aside his tablet. “This is the reality presented to us. May I do anything else for you, Journeyman?”

For several moments, Natalie just looked at the man. “Can I see him?” She asked. “Before he goes.”

—

Neil reflected on how he had treated his oldest brother and he knocked one final time on Natalie’s door. He had heard the news, of course. One of her best friends was being whisked away to the same backwash space station Neil was on his way to now. There had been some confusion about whether or not he was permitted to leave in the first place, but in the end it had been Vance himself who had stepped in. It wasn’t medical attention Neil needed anymore, he had said. It was practical motion, the willingness to rest, and the things that kept his mental state in check.

For that purpose, Nurse Rayne was going to be accompanying them to RAE Station Vulcan, to the very great dismay of Valentine, who had vomited when he had been told the news.

Then, for what he told himself would be the absolute last time, he raised his hand to knock on the door. Then he stopped, lowered his left hand, and raised his right. There was a more solid sound that echoed through the hallway, and again he waited.

The door opened, and Natalie’s face showed through the crack. Even with the narrow visibility, Neil could see the tear tracks and angry expression. “I’m surprised you didn’t break down my door like you used to.” She spat.

“That’s considered destruction of government property now.” Neil shrugged.

“What do you want?”

“To see you before I go.”

“You’ve seen me.” And she slid the door shut with a snap.

Sighing, Neil turned and began to limp off down the hall, one hand on the wall as he went.

“You’re just going to leave?” Natalie’s angry voice called from the other side of the door.

“Yep.” Neil grunted.

The door slid open from behind him, and when he turned it was to see, not an angry woman, but the hurting and confused girl he had watched grow up. “You’d just leave?” Her voice was small.

“You’re not a kid anymore, Nat.” Neil said, some of the hard business from past years creeping into his voice. “You were old enough to join the Trident, you’re old enough to send me packing on your own terms.”

“But I don’t know when I’ll see you again!” She yelled.

“That would be something for you to think about.” Neil said. “But I’m done making your choices for you. I did it for too long.”

“Don’t lecture me right now, please.”

Holding up a hand palm out, Neil nodded. “Then what do you want me to say?”

“That you won’t go to that stupid station.” Natalie said. “I thought you were going to die and now you’re going to the furthest backwater. I won’t be able to make sure you’re progressing at a reasonable pace, I won’t be able to make sure your arm is at optimal performance.”

“It’s not me you’re worried about, kid.” Neil said. “There’s others that can do that.”

“I don’t trust them.”

Neil chuckled, he couldn’t help it. “You don’t know them. Any of them.”

“They’re not me.”

Leaning against the wall, Neil crossed his arms. “You’re as arrogant as I am, sometimes.”

“I fucking wonder why.” Fresh tears were starting to spring from Natalie’s eyes. “I watch you mouth off to Matt and Martin all the time. You didn’t give a damn what they said to you.”

“Of course I did.” Neil shook his head. “It just pissed me off that they were right about things more than I was. It sucked being the dumb brother out of the three.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Not a lot else to say.” Neil shrugged again. “One went into politics, one is a decorated officer, and I barely made rank. When all you’ve got to look at is promising futures it makes you preemptively bitter.”

“I’m smarter than you.” Natalie said in a blunt voice. “Are you bitter at me?”

“Nah,” Neil said. “I’m happy you got the smarts you got. I’m happy you’re doing something with them. I’m proud of you, kid, and that’s all there is to it, and I wanted to tell you that before I went if I could. I know you’re pissed, but it’s just one of those things.”

“Why do you have to go with him?”

Neil’s face became a scowl. “No.” He shook his head.

“Why not?”

“I’m not going there. This can be easy,”

“Or it can be dumb, yeah, yeah.” Natalie shook her head. “You’re choosing him over me. Just like you chose the Trident over me. It’s all the same.”

“That’s not fair and you know it.”

With a little yell, Natalie smashed her fist against the door, and flinched. “It hurts, Neil. First you were gone, then you were dying, now you’re leaving again when you could just stay. And I don’t understand why!”

Neil spread his hands. “And that’s ok. It’s hard for us Ziggenbors, but sometimes not knowing is just where we’re at.”

“You learned that when you were a private.” She sneered.

“No.” Neil snapped. “I learned that when I held you for the first time.” She opened her mouth, but Neil shook his head. “Nah, you don’t get to add to that one. My parents, my grandparents, and then my aunt and uncle. Every one of them fucked situations. I lost all of them to death, and I almost lost my brothers to my own anger and resentment.” He straightened up and pushed off from the wall. “I don’t want you to lose me to your own demons. But that’s not my call. It’s yours.”

Natalie turned, and slammed the door.

Putting his head down and closing his eyes, Neil waited. He counted to thirty seconds, hoping silently that his little girl would open the door again. But another minute dragged passed, and she didn’t.

The comlink at his hip pinged, and he keyed it on. “Ziggenbor.”

“The shuttle is set to leave docking in twenty minutes, Sergeant.” Captain Henderson’s voice came from the other end, as automatic and businesslike as ever. “Do you require assistance?”

“Probably. Can you have someone meet me at the Apprentice wing’s first floor.”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank’s, ma’am. Ziggenbor out.” Neil pocketed the comlink and took one more long look at the door behind which the girl he had raised had vanished behind, and hoped one more time that it wasn’t the last time he would see her. Then he limped his way to the lift and went to the first floor. There Henderson was waiting, one of those damned wheelchairs waiting. “Thanks for your help, ma’am.” He said as he climbed in and followed her to the hangar. “I know it wasn’t your first choice of assignment.”

“As a matter of fact,” She said with a small smile. “It was my last at the EMAR. I’ll be transferring out tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to a change of pace?”

“I’ve missed the city life.” She said. “There’s an opening at one of the military hospitals in the RSS Unity in Understanding. It’ll be a good place to get the rest of my time in rank.”

“Best of luck to you, ma’am.” Neil said, and held out his right hand.

She shook it without grimace or any other acknowledgment of anything different in his handshake. “And you, Sergeant.”

Hauling himself onto the freighter, he jumped as a tapping sound reached him. Valentine was inside a CMT, gave him a thumbs up, and put his head back. Then the cylinder went opaque.

“Free ride to Saturn, the bastard.” Rayne said, crossing her arms. “He’ll be awake by now in his mind. We’ve got a long double of weeks ahead of us, Sergeant.”

“You don’t need to call me that, ma’am. It’s Neil.” He took one last look over his shoulder as the hatch doors shut. Back to where he was leaving Natalie behind.