《BadLifeguard》Clobber 1.06: I got mauled.

Advertisement

Pretty crazy the kind of tech these guys have. I’ve seen military vehicles before, but this thing takes the cake. After walking for about 20 minutes, we arrived at what I’d describe as a fusion between a jet and helicopter. It had blades in the wings, and a pill shaped body. I’d say it’s nearly as wide as a bus from the front. It was sort of wasp shaped in the legs and tail. It’s a shame I never got to see the cockpit, (though, I don’t think I would have said yes if he’d asked me if I wanted to).

That being said it was a pretty bad idea to follow this guy back here, for all I knew he had a super tazer, or some magic sleeper gas. “Home sweet home. Inside is a bio tracker, that shows the highest concentration of animal biomass in the area. We’ve got stuff for spectors and non-carbon organisms, but that’s all that’s turned up so far. We use this little fella to get an idea of the beast’s range. Layer the two up and you get this.”

He clicked something on a dirty key board, and a map of the area showed up on a monitor, a large pink blob shadowing over a quarter of the forest. “Alright!” Lucky you! We just moved out of that area! You don’t have to worry too much it’s about a 1-1000 chance that thing’ll cause trouble for regular folks.”

My eyes bore into the area where we’d just been. That place where I’d shouted at Saoirse for trying to be nice to me. Where the perimeter loomed.

“Now that we’re in the clear, I suppose it’s time I got you to sign some papers. Like I said, you fall under the scouting. You’re new to this so I’ll try to explain it simply.”

My eyes darted back to the origin of the blob, a blinking light in the middle of the forest.

“You don’t have to sign up with The Internationals, but a powered Unit like you? You could climb the ranks pretty easily no matter what abilities you’ve got.” Cogs turned in my mind.

I took one last look at the parking spaces. I searched for a pixel of movement from the blob in the direction of the grey area. I was cold, but I felt like sweating. Maybe I imagined the movement. Maybe I didn’t.

“Point me to it.” Bob was in the middle of saying something, I didn’t care, “I told you, you’re safe as long as you’re out of its range. Though, I guess it could be bigger or smaller, depending on stuff like the wind, humidity-” That didn’t ease my conscience.

“Point, damn it!” I shouted at him; I think I saw him make a move for a weapon, not that it mattered.

“Take it easy son, it’s just out north-east, see? That’s to the tail of my craft.”

I hopped out the door and blitzed.

‘Bigger or smaller’? ‘Bigger’?! Shit!

What am I going to do if Clover went deeper into the forest?

If she was in that group with everyone else, then were’nt they endangered too? Have I endangered innocent lives just because I disobeyed Mr Bio’s orders?

I was a lot better at running through the forest than I thought I would be. Leaping logs and darting round trees. Lot of swamp land I had to clear, not too watery, just muddy and deep, though it scared the hell out of me that the seconds I was spending climbing out of the bog was going towards this thing killing my classmates.

Advertisement

After leaping a hill, I came into a clearing. It wasn’t natural however. It looked like a storm had literally blown the trees apart, atop this hill was a well-trodden line of destruction. The trench was as wide as the agent’s craft.

I was definitely in the hunter’s range, he’d be coming for me soon, but just in case he was focused on her instead of me, I darted in the direction I believed would lead to the kiosks. Stopping once I saw it’s back

I wouldn’t exactly describe it as being hulking, though it was clearly muscled under its white fur.

No, I think I would describe the creature as vulpine in appearance, though it stood like a man. Its fur was much like the inverse of a foxes, the tips of its ears and appendages were rose red, though it didn’t seem to be from slaughter. As I approached from the rear, after seeing the bolbous counter balancing mass I think was a tail, I noticed nobbily hairless growths on its shoulder blades.

That I would have to look out for.

I’d have to think to get through this. This thing might have a shit ton of powers, it might out class me in raw strength, but from Bob, I know this thing isn’t sapient. I darted to the it’s side, although this thing might have already detected me, I thought I could throw it off by coming at it from an indirect angle. I got a better glimpse at his form from there. This animal had about ten-feet on me, I was just above it’s knee.

Again, I wouldn’t describe it as hulking, but its frame was about as wide as its path. I skated under its arm, and threw a punch as hard as I could at where his kidney would have been, were he human that is. It was as hard as I could manage.

His flesh and fur rippled unaturally.

He halted his march. That thing’s head curved around under its arm pit. I looked at the side of the fox’s face. It seemed to grin, but maybe that’s just how it looked, with some teeth peeking out from under its lips.

“PoOhHk?” That’s the sort of sound that escaped it.

I started to call it Pooka because of that. It made sense. A furry creature with shape shifting qualities from Ireland.

Something didn’t make sense in that situation though. Two things.

All the feats of strength before now. Were they real? In that moment I questioned whether I even had any power, as he was not only completely unmoved, he was unphased.

Two. You need to be alive to breathe right? To see and feel? Then why did I already feel… like I was dead?

He lifted his arm, it grew ten sizes, and he brought it down.

I didn’t fail in catching it, but I was being crushed none the less. The ground began to break before I did. The earth beneath caved, and I was up to my ass. Pretty soon, old wounds from previous fights started to open up. I was bleeding. I was bleeding all over and it hadn’t even been fifteen seconds. It took me awhile but I eventually stopped pushing back, and flung it to the side.

His hand made a shock wave, much like what I expected of myself in an ealier post. It flung me out of the ground, but I’ve gotten used to being rag dolled by Feoli’s monsters.

Looking back, those slimy things weren’t so bad.

I was in the trees, and soon so was the Pooka. It leapt wildly in the area I’d been launched. A fox’s greatest sense is its smell, and I don’t smell, finally, an advantage. At least that’s what came to mind then.

Advertisement

I had no qualms killing him. Sorry animal lovers. I know I’ said I’d look out for those fleshy nubs on it’s back, but it was a blind spot, and I had to exploit every openning. I undid my restraints and leapt after.

It was dumb to think that a monster that could grow its limbs to the size of a room, operated under the same laws of biology as anything else in the world.

I aimed for his throat while I was on him, he didn’t like that. Or maybe I just startled him. I dug into his throat with all I could, only to get that rippling from his flesh, as it kept moving back into shape.

That didn’t stop me from trying, I was so sure that he couldn’t grab me while he was gripping to the trees without losing his balance. I was wrong. His tail has prehensile. It was suited to wrapping around the trees once it changed shape, giving him the freedom to do whatever he wanted with those four fingered hands of his.

I was upside down.

I would have thought he was trying to squeeze the life out of me, if it weren’t for that mouth. It was a pale maw. It looked like the entirety of his mouth’s interior was made of teeth, the material itself. I was stuck. I screamed as he bit into me. Unlike Feoli’s, these blades pierced. Deep. I screamed, because I had nothing else, No matter how I struggled, I would never be on level with this thing.

That is until he dropped me. I smashed through branches on my way down, they did little to break my fall.

I struggled to get back up, then he flattened me back down with his tail.

I was again immobilised, not because he was keeping me down, he got off me, I just couldn’t get up. He bent down. I again felt the moisture from his breathe. Though this time… He sniffed me.

Then he just left. I hadn’t a clue how long that lasted. That exchange. Maybe a little over a minute? Less? That’s not enough.

I used one arm to get back up. Though my legs could just about manage a crouch, I still had a lot of hot air in my lungs.

My new set of screams made its ears twitch.

It didn’t matter whether I won, or even if I lived, I just needed to keep him here for two hours.

Looking back now, while I wasn’t dead yet… there was no way I’d be able to fight for two hours.

I finally found out what those protrusions on his back were for.

Goddamn lasers.

They grew into stalks like a snail’s eye and shot me with a hot blast. It was on for less than a second, but that’s all it took to puncture my lung. This was the one injury I was sure of. I was on the ground again.

I struggled to breathe.

I couldn’t see.

I couldn’t think straight.

I…

I completely accepted this as the place I would die.

Not that I fully understood what was happening.

My mind wandered.

I thought about my biology test, stuff on it like respiration (funny now), the Krebs cycle, something else.

Most of it doesn’t matter. I thought about Fungus the dolphin, and I imagined a crazy adventure where he went to- an RPG, I think? Yeah, he got stuck in castle, and I had to save him from this wizard boss fight.

Christ no, that’s not right. There was something else. Something?

My biology test, yeah, how did I do?

Where am I? What was I doing?

Yeah, Biology, God that test was deadly. Wait. Something’s wrong. Something’s off.

No, I’m too tired for whatever it was… Tomorrow’s problem for… tomorrows…

No. No, no, no, I… need to think. Something important. The test. I… Failed.

I failed.

Without a doubt. My best wasn’t good enough. That girl said, something?

She said… ‘you’… ‘you just need to try.’

Did she… she actually believe I… that I could make it?

She thought I could rise to the challenge, do something I couldn’t.

Doesn’t that make her an idiot? Does she believe…?

Closer.

I’m nearly there.

One more thing I’m missing.

I failed her.

Who?

Clover?

No, it wasn’t Clover.

I didn’t fail Clover.

I didn’t fail her!

I had one more shot. I was burning, bloody, and there’s no telling what state I was in, given the numbing of my major wounds. I couldn’t close my right hand, but that was alright, I only needed one. That’s not to say my left hand was in a good state, far from it. But it was a whole lot better than walking. Even with my consciousness fading, or my soul leaving my body, it was easy enough to throw myself onto my belly.

At least one of my legs was functioning, and that was enough for me.

Wait. Wait. I need to pass. No, not just pass, I have to get 100 percent.

I need to cram before the test.

I leaned against a tree on my bad side, and clenched my fist. I need to focus. On nothing else. Just this test. I need to throw everything I’ve got at one enemy.

I reeled my fist back, and threw it with all my might. Some of the leaves moved at my feet.

That’s Shit, do it again.

This time it made a weird sound. It wasn’t right though. Again.

Hrragh

Again.

HHHRrragh

Again.

HRRA-ck

If it was the top of the class doing it, he’d be able to squash me with his best punch. So, keep studying.

It’s pretty weird but that’s how my brain was working. It was probably for the best that I decided to ‘study’. Think about it. If I ran at the Pooka one more time, it’d be my last attempt. The best thing to do would be to think of some plans, like I did with Feoli. But I couldn’t think. It was too late for that. I had let my desire to help get in the way of actually solving the problem. So, I did all I could do. I practiced punching.

Harder.

HRRRaCK

Faster.

HRRACK

I need to push through with my punches. Counter that shifting.

RRRRaCK

RRAACK

RROACK

RROACK

ROACK

ROCK

Sounds legit.

My arm was sore, but who cares. I hadn’t a clue which way he went so I just super hopped in one of the three paths of destruction. I knew it wasn’t the one in the middle anyway.

That was mine.

I really can’t remember what I was thinking about. I had a techno song playing in my head.

That asshole’s got me on them now. Don’t remember what it was called, hardly matters, I’m here to kill, not dance. It was pretty lucky that he couldn’t smell my blood or sweat, that was what I had thought of blocking.

Funny thing about dying, your body doesn’t try as hard to keep all that shit and piss inside.

Threw my bottoms into a ditch. I wasn’t trying to strategize, just wanted to get my dirty clothes off. Thankfully, it seems my SP2 remained in constant effect on my body.

He came galloping over to where I ditched my dirty clothes, scary, because up till this point I’d only seen him on his hind legs. I would have been shocked had my brain capacity not been reduced greatly from the lack of oxygen. I just thought it was weird how thorough a sniff he was giving my doo doo.

I just had to make that sound, the ‘rock’ sound. He must really like the smell of my magic pong, because he didn’t pay any attention to me creeping up behind him. I didn’t try to hit him in the same place, figured I’d aim for bone, because hitting the fleshy bit didn’t go to well. This is the test. No more practice. Just one shot.

Unlike my practice shots, I pushed myself forward with my good leg, and put every joint in my arm, every muscle in my leg, and of course, my hips into this fist.

By this point I couldn’t hear too well so I don’t know if it was a perfect shot. Again, I nearly passed.

I got the same feeling I got when I first punched the Pooka. That dread of death. Was I missing something? This thing probably had more than two abilities.

But I kept pushing. I might have floundered the punch, but I needed to keep pushing. It wasn’t 100%, but I’m gonna make the grade damn you. The shifting continued but so did I. He didn’t like that. The pulsing area increased, and I pushed deeper, deeper until my arm was completely submerged in his pulsating muscle.

Gross. Though I didn’t think about it at the time, it’s sort of like when you push a finger into a balloon. In the way it stretched, not to mention, his yelps sounding like the squeaks it would’ve made too.

Eventually I was forced back, launched by the reflexing of his mass.

I think I poked a hole in him. In his spine. He slammed and raged with his pulsating arms, but he’d already launched me out of melee range. His hind legs twitched, convulsed. Did I paralyse him?

I climbed back up and started limping at him. Again, he pulled out his lazer stalks and glared at me with his slitted eyes. He started blasting wildly, scorching the ground as the beam passed. I did my best to dodge the blasts while getting closer and without losing momentum.

I failed at dodging. He grazed the left of my gut.

That only made me go, ‘Fuck it, gotta go out on my terms.’ So, I made a final jump for his forehead, figured I should at least try to act like a hero and hit him up front. If that last punch knocked out his legs, then a higher aimed hit will take him out for good. It was worth a shot.

I would have shouted, but I wasn’t able, not enough air, but I put everything I had left into that. His stalks didn’t loop back to shoot me, guess he didn’t want to risk hurting himself. But I was planning on doing a lot more than just hurting him. Finally, I made contact. Hours of studying went into this fist, it better damn well work.

Wait, that wasn’t right. I didn’t study for this. I studied for my biology test.

I failed my biology test.

Fuck, I gave it my all and that’s it? I look at the paper and see stars.

Now I can’t see.

It’s just stars. Space.

Black.

I woke up in a cocoon.

It wasn’t like when you wake up after a night’s sleep. I didn’t feel groggy at all. In fact, I felt adrenaline rushing through my body. I flexed my muscles and shattered the cast like material. Now I could scream again. I thought that fucker put me in there, like some kind of doggy bag for later. I threw myself to my feet and whipped my head around in a panic.

“Take it easy son. I cleaned him up. It’s my job after all. But goddamn, you sure did a lot of it for me. Didn’t even need to phone in any ‘R.O.’s for him.” I panted, calmed down a little, though it was pretty hard to do that when my saviour had a pretty big rifle at his side.

“Bob!? What the- What shit-“

“I told you once boy, it’s Bob.” This really didn’t seem like the time for semantics.

“What’s going on? What…” I trailed off. My legs were fine. I felt my body over. My wounds, even the older ones were gone. I splayed my right hand, checked it back to front. It had been a long, long time since I’d been woundless. No bruises or scarring. It was like I was born again.

“Alright, alright, I’d say this about makes us even.” I looked up at him word less.

“I mean, it’s one thing too… blow off steam every once in a while, but it’s something else entirely to strip naked beside a monster’s body. I guess you also shit yourself at some point too.” I looked down, only to find myself completely naked except for my shoes. I reached one hand to my face, and the other down to my lazer stalk. Thankfully, my mask was still intact.

“Actually about being square…” The agent scratched the tip of his nose.

“Huh?” I bleated dumbly.

“We aren’t exactly even. That cellular rebirthing foam? It’s not exactly cheap. And because you are unaffiliated with The Internationals? It is not free.” My eye lids twitched. “How… much?”

He brought his scratching finger down to his lips. “For getting me to crack open a fresh can? 10,000 USD.” I looked away. That’s a shit ton of money. What the fuck is even happening? “Of course, you can pay it back over a monthly period. I’m sure your part time job doesn’t pay you enough for that sort of stuff.” I don’t have a job. I haven’t for a while. Fucking American health system.

“Pooka?” I turned back to face him.

He looked concerned now. “Shit, was that an older model? Hey little buddy, uh, you know your ABCs?” I shook my head, “The fox monster, is it dead?” He looked relieved for a second before returning back to his normal emotionless expression. “Monsters like that don’t just die, you noticed it was a shapeshifter. Basic stuff like, Size changing, force redistribution, elasticity? Well, when separated from the central nervous system, other parts of its body will spaz out, randomly changing between different structures of its body. I can’t explain the theory behind it, but even if you disintegrated that things head, it wouldn’t die unless reduced to a mass smaller than the brain. Hell, it might even be able to duplicate, let alone regenerate.”

That got the adrenaline back. “But you said you ‘cleaned’ it right? It- It’s not a threat anymore?” He gave me a cocksure smile and said, “Good ol’ International level cleaning fluid. Bottled him up in it. Thanks to you taking out his nervous system, he wasn’t able to generate that death aura of his.”

Everything this man said just gave me new questions, “Death aura?! What the hell does that mean?” He lowered an eyebrow, “You didn’t notice that? Again, we are unsure of the specifics of this thing’s abilities, but either all organisms within a certain range are rendered dead, or their soul is burned out of them.”

The does that even mean? So, either that thing was trying to suck my soul out, or it was slowly disintegrating me being in that smiley fuck’s presence? I can think of ways my super endurance or SP2 can counter those, but isn’t that a little overpowered for a ‘relatively weak monster’?

Bob snapped his fingers; I must have been lost in thought, “You’re a weird guy, anyone ever tell you that?” I chuckled, “Yeah, I- some people think so.” I smiled a little, as much as I could to the guy I was in debt to.

He reached into a duffle bag sitting next to him, “I try to keep these with me. In case some poor bastards on his last legs when I’m trackin a monster.” Held between his middle three fingers he lifted out two bottles of some foreign beer. He stuck his arm out to me. I hesitated. “Hey it’s good stuff, I promise. Might as well break in that fresh liver.” I took it from him. “Thanks Bob.”

He cracked open his bottle and said, “That was close to being right.” I shook my head and laughed. Physically I felt better than ever. Hell, I just saved my second person, so I’m doing alright emotionally too. “Let’s get talking about those papers. Here flip this cast over, we’ll use it as a pseudo-coffee table.”

My mouth hung open, “Wwwwhat papers?” As he was rifling through his bag he explained, “The registration forms. Really won’t take more than- say… half an hour?” I quickly interjected, thinking this must have been what Clover was talking about. Did they try to strong arm every powered Unit into joining their ‘foundation’? “I’m not signing up with you guys!”

He put back around a quarter of the creased papers into the bag. “Wow, cool it kid, that’s fine. Your loss though. If you change your mind, well, I’ll leave my card.” As he rolled my cocoon over, I pointed at the remaining sheaf of papers, “Then what’s all this for?”

He made a small attempt to flatten out the pages, “This is just stuff for our systems. Normal stuff like marital status, country of birth, ethnicity, all the way to stuff like powers, related organisations, territory claims, the cool stuff.” I shook my head, “why do you need to know stuff like that?” He again scratched his nose, “Well… there are a lot of… undesirables with power. So, if you end up dead, or end up killing one of those guys, we’ll know stuff like, who to contact if you die or if there is a dispute over territory, we can check who was there first, and most folks will side with the original owner, unless they have a vendetta against you.”

For a second time, Bob got the cogs turning. “So, say if I was born and raised in an area… and someone else with powers makes a claim for that area after moving here a week ago… unless I fill this out, nobody will so much as bat an eye if I get axed?” He nodded his head to the side, “Be like you never existed. Depending on how you die, local police will probably rule it off as a missing person or an accident.”

I took the cap off the bottle with just my tongue, “Shit…”

To think the girl I literally defied death to save, was leaving an opening for someone to take me out. After that crap about needing to stick together, needing to help each other through good and bad despite being enemies. It was bullshit.

I took a swig of that god awful foreign beer.

Hey, what else was new? Sure, she might be out for my blood, but I’m out to destroy her lively hood. Well, maybe we aren’t even, she’s an extortionist and drug dealer after all. I’m not fussy about who I save, as long as they’re in a better place afterwards, whether that’s physical or- moral doesn’t sound like the right word, but that’s all I can think of.

There was much more leniency when signing those papers than I thought. Bob said I didn’t have to fill everything in, or anything really. So I left out stuff I wouldn’t share here, my address, my real name, and SP2. I did include my phone number, and a stake to the territory surrounding Tralee and dingle. I don’t know if Clover has already made a claim to the territory, or if her claim would outweigh mine.

Bob checked his wrist watch, “Well, you got that wrapped up quicker than I thought.” Purely out of curiosity, I asked, “What time is it anyway?” Only after he gave me his reply did I realise what that meant for me.

“CRAP! Bob, give me your clothes, I’ll call you later to tell you where to pick them up.” He argued, until I reminded him he could become undetectable, I couldn’t use a scifi cloaking device to hide my bare ass on the trip home.

I left my school clothes in my bag, way back at the toilets (I was lucky enough that nobody pissed on them or anything) So I really needed this suit to at least make it back to the restrooms without flashing my teacher.

But by the time I got back, the bus was gone.

I shivered.

I wasn’t too sad about it. It was probably quicker for me to run back home. It’s stupid, maybe a remnant from before I had super powers, but seeing the empty space the bus once filled made me feel pretty lonely.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a broken honk from behind me. I turned to see a rather run-down car. I stepped out of the way as they drove out in front of me. I could hear laughing from inside as the windows rolled down. In the driver seat I saw a young man wearing comical sun glasses.

“It’s your lucky day, James Bond, you might have missed the bus, but lucky for you, I’m above public transport.”

I bent down to face Mullet, “Listen mate, I- yeah, can I get a lift with you?” He laughed, and joked, “Your boring Sam, not a Nazi! Course you can. Saorsh, move over, our science partners been in a toilet for three hours. You know how he smells normally.”

I clicked the door open and Saoirse rolled over to the far end of the car giddily. “He’s my ‘Science associate’, Mullet, it’s an official title.” Izzy giggled in the front seat. They were a little more gleeful than they were before, pretty sure they were drinking the same shit I was.

Izzy commented on my change of appearance, “Trust the class weirdo ta get a suit together in tha feckin woods like. You wearin makeup too Sammy? Bags under your eyes are gone. So’s that busted eye.” I hadn’t seen myself since getting… whatever it was the International did to me.

“HHAuh?” Saoirse craned as she leaned in to get a closer look at me. I could tell she was drinking, from the way she swayed, the smell of her breathe, and her lack of personal boundaries. She covered her mouth, before letting out, “Shite, you are good looking now.”

She was definitely drunk; she couldn’t see straight.

I laughed awkwardly, “Fuck off, yah dumb… ass!” Everyone but her laughed.

Wait, was Mullet drunk too? Not that I mind if we get into a crash, I’m made of adamantium, bitch.

I thought that to myself, but I guess I meant to say it out loud.

Saoirse frowned, jabbed a finger at me, and cried, “FfFuck you! DumbASS! I’m the biggest coke dealer in the country! I can get my boysiz on you whenever I damn well… want. Shit… Shit dick… You’re fucken ugly, actually.”

The car did not crash on the drive back somehow. Though that’s not to say there weren’t more than a few ditches swerved into.

    people are reading<BadLifeguard>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click