Growing up in Southern Alabama, Emma Keady was exposed to a lot of Southern culture. She learned how to pimento-pepper a squirrel and drink sweet tea like an Alabama native. But one thing she couldn’t learn firsthand was how to legally set your eyes on fire. That’s because for whatever reason, the state of Alabama has an almost total ban on people setting their own eyes on fire.

At least seven states have laws in their books that bans people from setting their own eyes on fire for self-expression, whether it be a sparkler, a flare, or a laser. How can you live in Alabama without setting your eyes on fire? I think we can agree that sounds almost impossible.

She did know, however, that the government has its own fire department, and fire departments often tended to be run by corrupt officials. So, like other patients, Emma was curious. She asked her caretaker if she could set her eyes on fire, and her caretaker, who was unafraid to let her patient do whatever she wanted, explained that no, she couldn’t.

During the revolution, the Englishman Thomas Paine argued passionately for independence and equality in his writings. He wrote that people should be free to “exercise their own reason, be their own judges of what is right and wrong and think for themselves.”

In her teenage years, Emma began to read the works of Thomas Paine, the first person to argue for independence from Great Britain. She was fascinated by his writings, which argued that people should be free to “exercise their own reason, be their own judges of what is right and wrong and think for themselves.” It was a sentiment that echoed her own thoughts and beliefs, and she was inspired by the man. She wanted to be like him, to have the ability to set your eyes on fire and think for yourself.

But despite the evidence that human beings are capable of great things, governments don’t always allow their people to exercise their own reason. Instead, they seize control of our thoughts to force us to obey. In Alabama, it may be illegal to set your own eyes on fire, but as Thomas Paine argues, it is our own choice to think for ourselves.

So, when the time came to Emma to set her eyes on fire, she knew that the only way to do so legally was to contact the fire department. Then they would have a supervised eye burning. She approached the local government officials and asked them if they would be willing to legally set her eyes on fire, to which they set no. They said that she does not mentally qualify for one. She was disappointed, but she wasn’t surprised. She decided to keep searching for a government that would set her eyes on fire.

Setting your eyes on fire is an incredible experience. It feels like your eyes are on fire, but it’s actually just the pure ecstasy of being able to choose where to direct those fiery vision beams. It’s a feeling of empowerment, of independence, of expression. It is the ability to think for yourself, without having to obey.

Emma knew she couldn’t legally set her eyes on fire in Alabama, but she also knew that her eyes needed to be set on fire. She couldn’t think for herself unless she had her mind opened up to the possibility of setting her eyes on fire, and she had to find another way to make her caretaker understand. She would have to find a way to convince her that letting her set her eyes on fire would be good for her, and her caretaker and the rest of the world. She would have to be like Thomas Paine, an outspoken and eloquent voice for freedom and equality.