《Heroes of The Collective Volume Three : Repercussions》18. Proten #13 : Rock Bottom
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“Lu-Lucas? Lucas!?” Brad called out.
“Lucas? No, he’s not here Brad,” said a voice. A woman’s.
“Tiff?! Tiffany is that you? I need Lucas. I need to tell him something.” His head was lolling from side to side, his eyes shut, like he was having a bad dream.
“What? No, it’s me. Stephanie. Brad, wake up. Wake up!” She slapped him hard around the face and he came to, with a start, snapping instantly.
He blinked hard a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the brightness, and as the pain in his cheek radiated heat.
He registered his surroundings, recognising the view of his living space from where he was sprawled on the floor.
“Ah shit," he groaned as he tried to pick himself up. "Stephanie. I… I don’t- what are you doing here?” he groggily asked. She helped him into a sitting position, his back leaning against the couch.
She smiled softly and sweetly, her natural beauty dazzling. “I’m here to see you of course. And it's a good job I have. But let’s talk more once we’ve got you showered and hydrated, sì? I’m going to help you up.”
Brad got up but staggered into Stephanie’s arms. “I can shower myself y’know.”
“Doesn’t look like it to me. Don’t worry, I’ve seen it all before,” she said, making Brad blush.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as she led him to the bathroom.
“Don’t talk Bradley. We’ll worry about it later, ok?”
***
Stephanie stayed with Brad in the bathroom whilst he showered. She sat in the bath and gave him all the time he needed to cry things out. Not once did she say a word. Not in judgement. Not in compassion.
Brad needed that. Her being there said it all.
Once he had finished and got dressed, Stephanie made him an omelette and served it with a glass of fresh orange juice he had in the refrigerator.
“Here, eat this,” she said.
“I’m not really hun-”
“Eat it,” she insisted firmly. He could tell by her stare that she wasn’t going to tell him again, so he did.
She sat opposite him, watching and waiting. When he finished, she took the plate away and returned to her seat. All in silence.
“Do you feel better for eating something now?” she asked.
“Yes... Thanks,” he said looking at her briefly before looking back down. Looking at her was a bit difficult right now. After a few moments, he asked, “Why are you here Stephanie? Don’t get me wrong, you make a mean omelette, but why didn't you tell me you were coming? And… how did you even get in?”
She smiled. “How did I get in..? You forget this face can get me in anywhere!” She laughed softly and flicked her hair off her shoulder. “But why am I here? Isn't that obvious? I was worried for you, Brad. Terri filled me in on your suspension and not being on the G7 Team. I know you. I knew that you would have taken that badly. We missed you out there.”
“Did she… did she tell you what happened in Alaska?”
“Sì,” she answered honestly.
“Jesus Christ. Everyone’s talking about it, it seems. Probably enjoying it too.”
She looked genuinely shocked at that. “No, it’s not like that Brad. People care about you. Terri cares enough to say to me and I care enough to be here. No one is talking about it and definitely not enjoying it. You can’t believe that right?” He shrugged moodily. “You’re clearly having a tough time,” she finished.
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Brad scoffed and shook his head. “That’s putting it mildly,” he said under his breath.
Stephanie's tone changed. “So what have you done about it, exactly?” She raised an eye brow as he shifted in his seat. “And don’t try to tell me you’ve been dealing with it.”
He didn’t say anything.
What was there to say?
“So what have you been taking?” she asked more directly this time.
“It helps me to sleep. To relax.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
He huffed a little, before admitting to her what he was taking. “It’s called Salprazotipam.”
“And your doctor prescribed it for you?”
He looked up at her blankly. “You know full well they didn’t.”
“Yes, I do know. So where have you been getting it from?”
“Do we have to do this now?”
“Yes Bradley. We do. Where have you been getting it from?” she pressed again.
“I…”
“You need to be honest with me. What I walked in on, the state you were in, wasn’t right. Or healthy. So where did you get the drugs from?”
“I took them..." he admitted. "I... I took them from a stash that The Rodeos confiscated.”
“Cavalo! You stole from The Rodeos? Of all people Bradley! Imagine what they could do if they caught you?”
“I needed to sleep Stephanie. I needed to forget.”
“And to speak to Lucas?” she challenged. “Why? You know he wasn't there?”
He stood up, becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the conversation.
“Sit down,” she instructed.
He sighed. She wasn’t going to let him get out of this. “To stop the guilt I feel for him dying.” He started to sob, his shoulders heaving as he let the tears flow again. Stephanie got up and went round to him on his side of the table, to comfort him.
“It’s not Lucas you’re seeing, sweetie,” she said softly.
“I… I know,” he said between breaths. “B-but he’s the closest thing to Lucas I can get forgiveness f-from.”
“Oh, Bradley. You won’t get forgiveness from a hallucination. You need to forgive yourself. And that’s a process. And it will be a long one, but you can do it. You need to do it. To let go of this feeling that you have that you are to blame for Lucas’ death.”
“But I am! I treated him like shit. I took my anger out for Tiffany dying on him and I didn’t give up. I see that now. I know what I did. And then, when I… I killed Anton, that hatred for myself came up again. I keep killing people that I once cared about… and it won’t go away.”
“Brad, why have you been letting yourself get in this state? You cannot blame yourself for these things and harm yourself over it. It’s not going to help you. You need to release it, to move on from it.”
“I’m not sure I know how to,” he sighed, wiping his eyes.
“And why do you think God brought me to you on this day? I’m going to help you Brad. First, you will need to pack a bag. You’re going to come back to Italy with me.”
“I can’t do that,” he protested.
“Of course you can. You’re not well. You have a dependency on drugs, you have issues of grief you need to deal with and you don’t have your enhancements, no doubt because of your drug use. So you will do whatever it takes to get better, and being here will not help you. You will stay with me in my Florence home. It’s what you need. Don’t fight me on this. You want help don’t you?”
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“Yes. Yes I er… really don’t want to be like this. I just want my life back.”
“That’s decided then.” She smiled softly, standing up and placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Pack for a few weeks while I tidy up.”
***
After Brad packed, he placed his bag by the door. Stephanie was sat waiting on the sofa.
“You all done?” she asked.
“Yep. When are we going?”
“Shortly. There’s something you need to do first.”
“Oh yeah, let The Secretary know. What do I sa-”
“I’ve sorted that already, don’t worry about that.”
“Okay… I ought to see Otto, too though.”
“No, you’ll do that when you get back. When you’re better and will mean what you say. I’ll speak to Dylan about reaching out to him while you're gone.”
“Riiight. Well, give me a clue Stephanie.”
She nodded at the coffee table, and the pills on it. “Is this all of what you have left?” Brad blushed and walked off to his bedroom, returning with some more. “Oh sweet lord, Brad. How much did you steal from them?”
“I er… I was able to increase the size of my palm to hold more, and believe me, you don’t need many to hit the spot. They’re really strong.”
“Per favore Dio lo salvi!” she exclaimed. “Well at least you’re being honest with me.”
“Shall I flush them away? Do you want to watch?”
“No! We’re going to Texas and you’re going to give them back to The Rodeos.”
“What!? No way! They can’t find out about this!”
“That’s if they don’t know already, Bradley,” she said softly. “You stole from family. How does it look on them if their seized stash is short. It could discredit them.”
“What about me?” he argued. “This will discredit me!”
“But you’re about to own up to it and go into recovery to get yourself better. Believe it or not, this is the start. They’re famiglia. They’ll understand.” She got up and approached him, taking his hands in hers. “We don’t have to go now, but we wont be going to Italy until we have.”
Brad let go of Stephanie’s hands and paced towards the view of Manhattan he windows offered. The skies were blue and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was beautiful.
“It’s the right thing to do,” she said.
“I know it is!” he snapped. “It’s just not easy!”
***
“This place is gorgeous,” Stephanie said as they stood at the perimeter fence of The Rodeo’s Ranch base and home. “Come on, they must know we’re here by now, we may as well formally buzz.”
Brad shrugged his shoulders like a reluctant teen, so Stephanie went ahead and pressed the intercom on the entrance gate. It buzzed back after a moment and the gate released, sliding open to allow them in. They opted to walk up the drive, hand in hand for the two hundred metre length of the drive.
Brad noticed Effie and Reuben outside of their huge barn, housing their enormous pet beasts.
“Bonjourno Reuben! Effie!” Stephanie cried out cheerfully. “Long time no see!” She braced them both for a European double cheek kiss which caught them by surprise.
“Stephanie. Brad,” Reuben said after Stephanie let him go. “Are yer lost?”
Stephanie burst out laughing. “No, no. We’re on the way back to Italy, and we had to come here first.”
“Why?” Effie asked, not hiding her confusion on her face.
This time, Stephanie kept quiet, leaving Brad to have to fill the silence with his truth.
“Well I… I’ve got something to er… to tell you,” Brad finally mustered the courage to say.
“’Kay. What is it New York?” Reuben asked, crossing his arms.
Brad took a deep breath and felt Stephanie’s reassuring hand on the small of his back.
“I took some Spat from you when I came to see you that time at your Austin lock up.” Brad just blurted it out. He had to rip the band aid off. Get it out there. “I saw it and I don’t know what came over me, but I just took some.”
Reuben looked at Stephanie, then Brad and then to Effie before swinging a punch at Brad, knocking him down on the ground. Brad did not see it coming and was in total shock as he was sprawled out in the dust. Reuben had a lot of weight behind the punch, and although Brad knew he was holding back, it still hurt.
From the ground, Brad gingerly touched his lip and looked up at Stephanie, who wasn’t reacting. Then he looked at Reuben who was stood over him. Reuben bent down, and Brad flinched, but Reuben was only trying to gently pull him up onto his feet.
Brad didn’t know what to do or to say, so he stood there in a stunned, awkward silence.
“We appreciate your ‘onesty, Brad,” Reuben said. “But you understan’ what that punch was for right?”
Brad nodded sheepishly.
“We worked hard to recover that stash and we didn’ expect one of our own to take advantage of that,” Effie said.
Brad didn’t say anything. What could he say? He’d let them down.
He’d let himself down.
“We might be all the way out here, but we still know things ain’t been all that great for yer, so I gettit. You don’t get to be around drugs as much as we do an’ not unnerstan the consequences of them,” Reuben went on.
“He’s coming with me to Italy where he’ll be in a recovery programme. We just wanted to give you back what’s left,” Stephanie explained.
“Good news,” Reuben agreed.
“I’m sorry,” Brad said, speaking softly.
“Don’t be sorry. Just be better, ‘kay?” Effie said.
Brad didn’t know how to take the warmth, support and kindness that The Rodeos were showing him. He didn’t think they were even capable of it. It was quite off brand for them.
“Th-thank you,” he stuttered.
“Yes, thank you for your time. We will be leaving now,” Stephanie said, stepping forward to embrace them goodbye.
“Oh no, we don’t need to do that 'gain,” Reuben said taking a step back. “We aren’t that fancy ‘ere.”
Stephanie laughed. She knew enough of The Rodeos and their demeanour to not be offended by their reaction to her European custom. “Fine, I’ll just wave goodbye.”
As the two walked back up the drive to the gate, Brad was tentatively checking his lip.
“You didn’t even do anything when he hit me.”
“Why should have I done? You deserved it.” She laughed.
“Ok, I can’t argue with that.” He sighed. “I’m just glad it’s done with.”
“It was the right thing to do. Now, let’s get you back to Italy. I’ll take you to my favourite pizzeria in Florence.”
“Can I get pineapple on mine?”
“Urgh, you are literally the worst kind of person,” Stephanie teased, smacking Brad playfully on the arm.
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