BLARGH

BLARGH

Ikaris was floating in a void at one moment, and the next, he was rolling on an empty street covered in guts, hairballs, and a mix of countless liquids he didn’t dare to think too deeply about.

“Blargh!”

“Blargh!”

“Fuck me!”

MEOW

“You!” Ikaris pointed his finger in accusation, Cosmic Energy becoming pure heat on the tips of his fingers. “Did you try to eat me!?! I thought we were friends!”

MEOW

“What do you mean we are still friends?!” Ikaris was livid, trying to cover all his man bits. “People don’t eat friends!”

MEOW

This meow was by far the most condescending Ikaris had ever heard from Goose2, but he genuinely didn’t think he would win a fight with the small creature, so he was forced to let it go.

MEOW – MEOW

“No, I don’t wanna fight you,” Ikaris stood and slumped his shoulders, scooping Goose2 into his arms rather reluctantly. “you’re still very young and I have much to teach you about the way the world works so you can’t go eating me… okay?”

MEOW

“Yes, you don’t eat teachers even after they have taught you everything they know.”

MEOW

“You were helping me?” Ikaris creased his brows. “How? Are your internal liquids made of some super-secret ability-enhancing serum?”

MEOW - MEOW

Goose2 rolled her eyes as if tired of dealing with an idiot, hopped out of Ikaris’ arms, and strutted away until she stood next to a very conspicuous, yet extremely worn-out, sign.

“Welcome to Forks.”

Ikaris rubbed his chin in wonder. “Is this a tourist place for eating, or is there an entire place named Forks? What about Plates and Cups?” He questioned.

-----------------

The next ten minutes were spent trying to get the goo out of places it had no business to be, but Ikaris was not having much luck with that, and instead of helping, Goose2 was smugly watching him from atop the sign.

“Can you help me?”

MEOW

“Then, what can you do for me? Right now, you are seeming pretty useless.”

Goose2 hissed at the remark and Ikaris’ muscles tensed in preparation for a grand sprint, but what happened next went a little beyond his expectations. Goose2’s mouth blossomed like before, but this time, instead of pulling things inside with her tentacles, she vomited something out.

It was a fresh change of clothes.

Ikaris carefully watched the small cat as he slipped into the clothing, wondering how a miracle was possible, but everything started to make sense when he considered it from another perspective – wasn’t Goose2 a mystery like himself?

“Did we come here together?”

MEOW – the equivalent of shrugging shoulders.

After getting dressed and ensuring no goo was left between crevices, Ikaris finally directed his attention to the street and sign.

“Clear indications of civilization,” Ikaris shrugged and paid attention to the sign. “Welcome to Forks, Washington. A population of 3,120 people.”

VROOOOOOOM

VROOOOOOOM

The sound came as the car came to a stop, and Ikaris was wondering why he didn’t detect it earlier, the engine was vibrating enough to make his skin crawl. The car parked, the door opened and shut, and an older man with a receding hairline came into view.

“It’s supposed to be 3,124 people,” The Older Man clarified.

“Pardon?” Ikaris raised a brow as Goose2 hopped onto his shoulder once more.

The Older Man dug his tools out of the back of the car as he explained. “Old Wesley’s twin daughter had twins of their own yesterday.” He said and marched to Ikaris and extended a hand. “The name’s Waylon.”

“Ikaris,” The Eternal replied, giving a firm handshake that may have been too much considering the way Waylon pulled his hand back immediately.

“What’s a kid like you doing out here without any footwear?”

“What are you talk-” Ikaris replied with instinct, but caught himself mid-sentence when his eyes caught a glimpse of his hands.

Of course, he was a kid and Ikaris knew that but sometimes, hearing that he was a kid made him feel like someone was talking down to him. Then again, this was his first interaction with someone since falling from the skies so there was that.

“Can you take me to a phone?”

“Sure thing, kid.” Waylon slowly started to remove portions of the sign, replacing it with the new population count. “Just give me some time to get the population digits sorted out.”

“Do you have to change it every time someone is born?” Ikaris frowned. “Wouldn’t it be better to do that stuff electronically?”

“Not every time,” Waylon grunted as he knocked another digit loose. “But the birth of twins is a big deal, you know? Seems like the best time, if ever, to handle these sorts of things. Besides, I get free gas and fifty dollars to make the trip.”

“Is that a lot of money?”

This time Waylon’s brows quirked, his eyes lingering on Ikaris a bit longer than intended, but he couldn’t help it. His reactions were subconscious up to this point, but now that Waylon had the time to think about it consciously.

A few discrepancies popped up.

“Are you Scottish? What are you doing out here alone, kid? Why are you barefooted?” Waylon started the questioning and would have never stopped if Ikaris’ expression said he clearly didn’t wanna answer any questions.

The rest of Waylon’s job was done in silence.

----------------------

The car kept a steady pace on the road, and Ikaris could feel a surge of urgency bubbling inside him as the car got closer and closer to what would be the rest of his life. That was the first thing he figured, even before he started to build the shelter.

There was the question of where to go… but in the end, Ikaris decided there would be nowhere to go without first understanding who he is. Luckily, such information was starting to come back in small bursts.

During his very brief time in Goose2’s stomach – more like another reality entirely ­– Ikaris got to explore the depths of his mind like never before, and while he discovered nothing of note, he could tell the memories were there.

After all, could an Eternal even really forget?

There were more memories there than Ikaris could process in a lifetime, and sometimes – like now – Ikaris saw flashes of things that he wasn’t sure was his most recent memories. It felt like a bunch of lifetimes jumbled together, each telling a unique story that held infinite secrets and views.

“You okay, kid?” Waylon was concerned.

“Uhm,” Ikaris’ thick Scottish accent was even more pronounced with his mind wasn’t all the way there. “Just getting a few headaches off and on.”

“Your English is very good,” Waylon complimented, adjusting the speed of the car. “How old are you, like 14?”

“I can speak about 200 languages…” Ikaris’ tongue moved as the information popped into his head. “And that’s only the modern languages… I know even more Ancient Languages long forgotten by humanity.”

“Yeahhhh…” Waylon stretched his reply for a bit until a decision was finally made. “That’s it, kid, I seriously need to take you to a hospital. I use to drink a lot, so they will probably be suspicious of me, but you clearly have a couple of screws loose.”

“We can’t go to the hospital.” Ikaris started to feel annoyed. “I need to understand how your society works first to adequately blend in.”

MEOW

“No, you can’t swallow him,” Ikaris brushed his hair aside in frustration. “Weren’t we just talking about the fact that you can’t go around eating everyone?”

“Oh, shit!” Waylon pressed the gas down. “Now he is talking to the cat as if it’s a person, you definitely need to get to a hospital, kid!”

“I said NO!”

Ikaris could feel the Cosmic Energy inside his body boiling, forcing its way through channels that he could not control – channels he could not block due to his limited level of body control.

MEOW – MEOW

“No more eating anyone, don’t ask again!”

The Cosmic Energy flared more.

“Hello…”

Ikaris didn’t even notice when Waylon had slipped a phone from his pocket and dialed a number, neglecting to place both hands on the wheel which could have stopped what came next.

“Yeah,” Waylon continued to talk on the phone while driving above 90. “There is this kid in my car and he is talking to a cat and saying a lot of weird shit, maybe-”

“Stop!” Ikaris ordered, clutching his head since it felt like something was burning the inside of his skull.

“Yeah… now he is yelling and I am not sure if I can get him to the hospital-”

“I said, stop!”

Waylon continued to talk on the phone, regretting that he had offered Ikaris a ride to begin with. The crazy ones were always found in the middle of nowhere with no shoes on – that should have been hint enough for the recovering alcoholic.

“Please, stop!”

At this point, Ikaris knew it was impossible to stop, the burning had become too pronounced, but he pleased anyway.

MEOW (Translation: can I eat him, now?)

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Waylon glanced at Ikaris out of the side of his eyes and was appalled by what he saw – the Eternal’s eyes had turned from its usual blue into a brilliant golden hue with Cosmic Energy bubbling in its depths.

It was a sixth sense.

It was instincts.

It was divine intervention.

It was stupidity.

Waylon didn’t know what it was that made him abandon the wheel to duck at the perfect moment, but he was just glad that he did. A golden Cosmic Beam flashed from Ikaris’ eyes, burning through the entire front portion of the car in an instant, and then, everything started spinning.

Waylon was out the door before the first spin, sustaining some injuries but surviving nonetheless. Ikaris, on the other hand, spun with the momentum of the car all the way, carrying him through dozens of trees, and down a hill until he shot out of one of the windows and skipped across a small pond.

---------------

Ikaris was unconscious for an entire five minutes before he jumped awake… jump was a strong word considering one leg was broken, the ankle of the other foot was swollen, both arms were fractured, and Ikaris didn’t even want to think about the ribs and blood pooling in his lungs.

“I have had better days.”

MEOW (Translation: you definitely have!)

“I don’t even wanna hear anything from you right now!” Ikaris swatted Goose2 away even as his arms protested against any movement.

The Eternal worked through the pain and started to pull himself away – two minutes later, he managed to start crawling away – five minutes later, he started to limp away, and ten minutes later, Ikaris was on a full-on sprint to get as far away as possible.

Despite the obstacles in his way, The Eternal was able to achieve Olympic-level speed, dashing around trees as if he was a Ninja, which he probably was at some point in his abnormally long life.

Ikaris didn’t stop running until an hour later when the sounds of people were becoming closer and closer… finally, there he stood, hidden by the branches of large trees, mere meters from civilization.

The civilization wasn’t too advanced, but that would be fine.

“I can’t go down there like this.” Ikaris turned to his most fervent supporter – Goose2. “Do you have anything in your stomach that I can wear?”

HISS

A hiss and what looked to be a flash of disdain was Goose2’s response to Ikaris’ pleading. Obviously, the female cat was not in a good mood after being told to shut up inside the car.

And if there was one thing Ikaris knew about females – even the cat versions – it was that they held grudges for a very long time.

“I promise never to neglect you again.” Ikaris fell to his knees, aware this was the correct maneuver to please a female. “I just need you to be a bit patient with me.”

MEOW

Ikaris clenched his jaw. “Be patient with me, please Goddess.”

MEOW

“Yes, I promise regular belly rubs and never to favor dogs above you.”

MEOW – MEOW

The feline seemed assured of Ikaris’ loyalty and hence rewarded him by barfing up a new suit of clothing with shoes this time around. Ikaris was of half a mind to turn the creature off and slap its bottom until more things fell out, but he was pretty sure that’s not how it works.

A quick shift of clothing and Ikaris was ready to go, but there was one more issue to solve before it became a big deal.

“Do you have anything in there that can identify you?” he inquired.

Goose2 seemed to think for a while before barfing out a tag cat tag with Ikaris’ information on it – Owner: Goose2 Property: Ikaris (If found please return to Goose2 – the coolest cat in town).

The Eternal wanted to vomit up something of his own, but looking at the expectant light in Goose2’s eyes, and the fact that their relationship was still tender, Ikaris chose to bare the humiliation in favor of group cohesion.

He secured the tag around Goose2’s neck, and the feline had the audacity to prance around like she was contending for a Horse Show Championship.

“Now, we are ready to-”

Ikaris coughed up a mouthful of blood as a new sensation pricked in his lower-right chest. The Eternal fell to his knees as he ripped the new shirt from his body, and sure enough, he found the problem… a bit surprised he hadn’t noticed it before.

The small tip of a metal rod was poking out of his body, nearly covered entirely by the surface of his skin. In the heat of the moment, he could not feel its presence and had neglected to remove it in time.

His body had healed around the object.

Ikaris tried to reach for the tip of the rod to pull out the rest, but he couldn’t accomplish the mission before falling into unconsciousness. The last thing that entered his sights was a panicking Goose2.

He had never seen her panic as much as she did at that moment. Obviously, she loved him very much… and that meant he could take some privileges next time he awakened.

In the Eternal’s mind, there was no way something as small as a thin metal rod could end his days when falling from space, fighting wolves, and a car accident could not keep him down for long.