Recuperating took slightly longer than I originally anticipated: in fact, it took almost an entire week.

My brother's strength isn't lacking; just like in the books, his "rough housing" alone would have probably broken any of the other brothers who endured it. Baldr knows of Heimdallr's gifts, so it was obvious he used so much power knowing he could survive without any long-lasting damage.

But in the week I've lived in this new life, I can say it is... not easy adjusting. Almost getting killed once and being beaten so bad it left me fatigued and unable to walk for days isn't a very comforting lifestyle. I endured a lot in my previous life over a long time, but nothing came close to the pain I've suffered. But what's remarkable is just how fast my young body bounced back from both of them. Baldr knew of my gift but if Dagr's durability is really this strong in application, it's extremely possible for even me to take the reins in my new life without being the writer.

But to do that, I have to grow. These days of rest were nice but the only company I got was Gullveig and my sisters. Rán is carrying out duties to Dagr so my new mother not showing up isn't surprising... but overall it made things very boring. My younger brother was the only one who could have seen me, though him showing up doesn't make sense given how carefree he is. The guards weren't particularly interested in me, either, after I was beaten so instantly by Baldr.

Today, though, I intend to change that: once more I was in the courtyard with Gungnir, this time opposite of Soini. Geir was standing nearby, smirking at me with his usual mystery.

"So quick to get up and demand a chance to prove yerself... I like this new spirit you've taken this week, Heimdallr. Even requesting me to help was smart, too, since you know I won't knock your lights out like Baldr!"

I ignore his ribbing, slowly unfurling the wraps around Gungnir. As they fall away, however, I at least realize I can give him something.

"Soini, my weapon is extremely dangerous regardless of me trying to blunt its tip. Geir is here to stop me or it if I lose control of it."

That last part makes Soini look at Geir. "Wait what, you said that this was just spar-"

Geir claps, laughing and looking at his younger partner. "Okay, okay! Enough chatter! Honor the son of Dagr properly and brace yourself! He intends to show off his skill in a unique way: grab the shield he had us prepare!"

Soini grumbles and looks over to the round shield nearby, moving to recover it and strap it onto his arm.

Training to fight is something that will happen naturally once I can control and prevent Gungnir from activating... but until I reach that point, the first goal is learning to use its innate ability and "curse". I never wrote or specified what other abilities it had because it was meant to be destroyed. Everything from its curse onward will be completely unknown, so ensuring I at least have that knowledge minimum will give me a better chance of making Gungnir fully mine.

The shield I had Soini equip is unique: on the back of the shield is a series of different colored dots, each positioned near the weaker sections of the shield and away from where it would strike him. On top of that, the outside of the shield has various colors.

"Geir," I state, leveling my spear out toward the shield. "This training is to help me control Gungnir. It may look odd but... if you at any point think I am trying to harm Soini, you must do everything in your power to prevent me from attacking him."

The instructions make Soini scoff but Geir clearly lets his curiosity show in his posture, yet he still nods and then waves toward the shield. Soini pulls out his blunted shortsword and finally chuckles.

"Alright, now... let's see if I earn that visit to Mye! You may have the first move, Heimdallr!"

To both of them, Heimdallr had never learned to fight. The boyish understanding of handling weapons and sparring gave me some level of acknowledgement and skill-basis to them, but neither seemed to be taking me seriously. It's time to show that not only have I changed, but that they will need to appreciate my warnings from now on. Not to mention that Brokkr even explained it yet neither took him seriously. But for this precise situation, I put a black outline on the shield that went just above his arm.

Gungnir... hear me.

I shift the spear into both hands, keeping it aimed at Soini and trying to visualize the black line from before. The spear's tip sways, yet it doesn't move on its own any further.

Gungnir, hear me.

The weapon's silver lined veins in its metal tip shimmer, the weapon rattling despite being held still. Soini scoffs and looks over at Geir.

"Come on, he's just standing there! This is-"

Gungnir! Strike!

The spear surges forward at my command, my visualization of the line guiding it and dragging me into a sprint. Soini turns and raises the shield, the spear's tip guiding upward and hitting into the wood.

And the tip cuts through it like butter. At least, until it reaches the black marking on the otherside. The near-perfect depth of the cut makes it so Soini only sees the glimmer of its steel dancing across the black before splintering and catching at the end of the line.

In a mere second, Gungnir had finished its strike and all its movement ceased; Soini pulls away and I stumble backwards, my equilibrium still shook from the sudden surge of activity.

"Not bad," he says, his gaze shifting between the clean cut and me. "That was c-close, though. You uh... w-were aiming for that line? How much did you practice that?"

"I haven't. I painted all the marks there for the first time this morning. I haven't even used Gungnir until now."

My words make Soini flinch, but he quickly raises and swings his blunted weapon at me to continue our spar. My eyes look at the weapon, clenching my grip around the spear.

Strike!

Gungnir twists and thrusts upward, the tip colliding with the blade in what anyone would perceive as a miraculous parry. Soini doesn't expect it at all and loses his balance and stumbles a step back. The shield drifts in front of him and I can see the spots that would be roughly where his vitals would be. The momentary window would have been fatal with Gungnir in real combat, but I take an extra long moment to wait and visualize not Soini but the red circle on the shield.

Strike!

The spear changes course and unnaturally spins me in its effort to redirect the flow of energy. I can feel the weapon trying to do what I'm ordering despite my inability to keep up... and as it stabs into the marking I can't help but realize just how impossible it is to change its decisive strikes. It throws me around so hard that I inevitably lose my grip, too, tumbling over the top of the spear as it remains lodged into his shield.

Despite stumbling him, my inexperience leaves me unarmed and on my back; Soini turns and raises his weapon despite his flustered state, staring down at me for a few seconds before lowering it.

"Heimdallr, how did you do that? I've never seen someone parry a sword with a spear's tip, much less make a follow-up attack like that."

Their observer whistles, his arms settling behind his back. "So Brokkr made a weapon like this? No wonder you wanted to train with us: the power that weapon moved with when you used it is easily on par with a seasoned warrior. I may not even be able to change its course once its set. A weapon like this may indeed be perfect for you, young lad!"

I sit upright, catching my breath for a moment more before pushing up to my feet.

"I think so too. I have to be able to control it. It seems to require a moderate amount of focus and desire to activate, though. The stronger my conviction to hit, the more energy it puts into it."

In short: this is why it was able to wound Heimdallr so badly. The desire to hurt him had made this weapon strong enough to harm even someone with his level of unnatural durability. Now that Gungnir is in my hands, though, I can use it in a way only he could. Heimdallr's durable body may not have any great strength, but my willpower and desire to fight can force Gungnir to provide that power. All I have to do is endure the forces it puts on me in the meantime.

Once I can anticipate the motions and rough adjustment to the power of Gungnir's desire to strike its target, I can effectively fight just as hard as my siblings or even Dagr.

But learning how to control my instincts won't be easy and I'll need to be able to fight in situations where I may not have Gungnir. In those instances, it's obvious I should learn to use a sword and shield like Heimdallr did; shields naturally compliment his durability, whilst a sword is balanced and doesn't need to strike powerfully if you can properly aim your strikes. Most of Heimdallr's fights as an adult revolved around him wearing his opponent down over longer battles of bleeding them whilst their fatigue grows. It earned him a lot of scorn and wasn't seen as honorable, but it was so effective that he rose to become a protagonist with few defeats.

But unlike Heimdallr, I don't know if my willpower can last that long. This is exactly why I have to learn to fight.

I turn and grab the spear, pulling it from Soini's shield and taking it into both hands once more. The younger guard takes a glance at the shield and stops to consider where the strike may have been, steadily growing more uneasy as he connects the dots. Geir, however, doesn't leave him time to fully grasp it; he claps and laughs, his voice booming over the courtyard at the pair.

"Alright, back to it! This time, feel free to hit him a little, Soini! You're our youngest member but you're better than just some test dummy, aren't you? Besides, he had all those days to rest and now he's tumbling around with his spear! Make sure he learns never to let go of his weapon!"

Although younger and momentarily embarrassed, I can't allow myself to look down on Soini; he wasn't expecting me to strike so quickly or accurately, but now he understands the risks and the strength Gungnir moves at.

I turn my attention just in time to see the swing of his sword. Twisting Gungnir in my grip out of instinct to protect myself, the back end of its shaft knocks the blade away but also sets me off-balance. The moment one of my feet even teeters upward is the moment his backswing comes; the pommel of his hilt slaps me across the face and sends me into the dirt, not even an entire second passing before he transitions the weapon's blunted tip into the small of my now-turned back.

I... didn't expect the difference to be this big. The pain in my face is almost blinding, but the actual damage is already all-but-gone and dragging the pain away with it blink-by-blink. Gungnir activates so long as I have a clear order and want to stab it. It didn't even react when I was forced to defend myself because I didn't visualize attacking like I had with the parry. Just these opening trades alone have told me a lot about the weapon's conditions for use and how to somewhat mitigate the risks of its curse. I quickly move away and turn to face Soini again... but this time I raise the weapon into one hand and arc it backward into a throwing posture.

Or, at least, what I think is one. Soini actually chuckles at the sight while Geir sighs. In the future he'll no doubt try to teach me how to better assume a throwing posture... but right now, I need to clench my fist and try one last test. A final blue circle on a relatively undamaged section of the shield is my target.

"Soini... throw the shield away."

The huskarl stops laughing long enough to unfasten the shield and shake his head. "Of course, Heimdallr... but how do you plan to hit it with such a silly posture?"

"I don't." Gungnir's silver begins glowing again, my focus on the target going from simply selecting it to increasing my anger and hostility toward it. "So throw it or it might hit you."

Those words actually get the young man's attention. He glances back at Geir before unfastening the straps, making sure to set his sword down against his leg and taking it into both hands. He turns, tossing it toward the empty section of the courtyard.

Gungnir... fly!

The weapon pulls in my hand and forces my arm to throw, yet it's my own choice to release the spear as it moves.

And sure enough, Gungnir keeps going. It sails clear of my hand and tracks the shield even as it tumbles through the air. A sickening crack of wood marks it hitting the shield even at a near side-ways glance, splinters bursting through the air as the weapon sinks through and cleaves the shield almost entirely in two just to reach its mark. Both the weapon and shield tumble to the ground much to Soini's shock and Geir's interest, but to me it's a success and warning; Gungnir will keep going even if I release it... which means the only way to stop it is to overpower it.

But with this, Gungnir isn't just a weapon. If my desire to kill someone was great enough, I could throw Gungnir to smite them at a long distance. Killing intent was its trigger and source of power; the more of it you had toward something, the greater Gungnir would try to achieve its goals. It's no surprise they thought it was cursed... and my definition in the book certainly would look like one. Although the qualms between the siblings would grow, none of them truly wanted to kill the other. Gungnir's fate had been avoided for now, but even a moment of ill-intentioned use on my part could make it a tragedy-starting weapon.

Yet the other side of that is that Gungnir is a weapon to avoid tragedy: a trump card for facing opponents I have to kill no matter what. Daesal was large and there were countless threats within the world... and although the troubles Heimdallr faced are largely local and human, there's no telling what may happen as I deviate further and further from my original writing. Training with Soini would let me learn to control it, whilst Geir could help me learn to control my instincts in a fight. They wouldn't be as potent as training under Dagr in terms of skill growth, but I'm not the old Heimdallr anyway; getting into fights is far from an ideal life, so awakening my magic early and working on the use of tools will let me find another path.

"Okay," I sigh, finally approaching the bonded shield and weapon. Despite my childish figure, I grasp the spear and set my boot on the shield to pull it free. "I think... I understand how Gungnir works now."

Although I couldn't see it while monologuing with myself, Geir was watching me now with a closer fascination than before. In his eyes, this was the day he realized the Heimdallr he knew was gone... and this new one was going to change the world in ways that the previous one couldn't. Whether or not that feeling is right, though, is something he would have to wait and see unfold.