The benefit of the doubt...what exactly is that? I often find myself caught between being kind and wondering if I have strayed into doormat territory. I strive to be civil, but there are times when I wish my natural inclination leaned toward a twitter rant. Sometimes getting even feels like the only thing worth getting. And yet, there is the pause. Is there a reason this person is being such a jack ass? But the better question for me has become am I willing to engage with this person? Is my precious time and energy something I want to spend? And if I do choose to spend it-- WHY? There will always be people who are looking for a fight, and there are also people who manage to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I know I have been one of them. Words and actions can fly fast and hard before the brain and the heart can engage. Sometimes the brain and heart do not engage. I have zero control over what someone else thinks or feels, and that is something I must remember.

I struggle with those who advocate giving another the benefit of the doubt but refrain from ever doing it themselves. Words are so easy to say, yet so hard to enact or take back. I have been told actions speak louder than words and I agree. Still, there are those who chose to be blind and too often they define kindness by whatever and whoever aligns with their own ideology. Not cool.

The benefit of the doubt, I think means to be open to the possibility that I may be wrong. It means that I believe a person may unknowingly do harm out of ignorance. I know I have. It means that I believe that apologies can be sincere until proven otherwise. I also believe the benefit of the doubt means that there can be potential in someone I can't stand. The benefit of the doubt does not mean I am naive or weak. It takes a lot of courage to say, "I could be wrong," to another person. It takes a lot of strength to release someone who squandered the benefit I gave them.