《The Magical Girl Substituting me is...my Uncle?!》Emergency Call
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As we make our way through the hallway, a group of girls passes us by, chatting. I presume they must be one of our seniors since I didn't recognize any of them and are on the third floor. While having such thoughts, I happen to overhear their conversation.
"Hey! Did you girls heard? My boyfriend, who's waiting by the gate just texted me. Saying that, he saw a cute tabby cat strolling around earlier! He thinks that the cat seems to be looking for something and anyone who tried to get close to it made it away!"
"Ah! I heard that cat was seen strolling around the school grounds a lot lately! Maybe someone here is feeding it or maybe has some newborn kittens sheltered somewhere near or inside the school? Besides, we all know you are just using that story to rub in our faces over the fact that you got yourself a boyfriend and we don't!"
"Nyeheheh! Who knows?" Said the girl who started the conversation, griming from ear to ear while pretending not know what they were complaining about.
"Geez! Maybe I also should swallow my pride and ask for love advice about my crush with Ero-Sensei too…"
I could not hear well the last bit of their conversation well because they turned around the corner. I suddenly stop in my tracks and turn my head towards where they were earlier.
(A tabby cat? Could it be…)
As I begin to enter in deep thought, my thoughts are cut short when I suddenly feel a hand over my shoulder.
"Something wrong?" Setsuna asks.
"Oh! Sorry, it’s nothing. Never mind." I say, brushing her hand off me.
I make sure to take a note of girl's conversation into the back of my mind and return my focus to the task at hand.
We finally arrived in front of a classroom and after making sure the sign above us read "3-A".
“Excuse our intrusion.” Setsuna opens the door and we enter room that is now vacant and practically devoid of life, as all of today classes ended just an hour ago.
Yet, in one of the darkest and secluded corners of the classroom, where the setting sunset does not reach, there is someone slouched over in a desk exactly like I was earlier today, but quietly mumbling to himself and sighing.
“Haah… Another uneventful day…” The gloomy aura that person emanated could pull anyone into a deep state of depression and negativity if not careful.
Noticing that student is someone wearing a girl's uniform, there is no mistake in my mind over who that person is.
"No luck with speaking to anyone again today…why am I so useless…"
I quietly approach the depressed student and pull it by the ear.
"Geez! Someone is looking even more depressed than usual! What happened to the promise "I'm going to make a hundred friends before graduating this year!" A-K-I- N-I-I?!"
The student was immediately shook awake by the sudden stinging pain stemming from its now reddened ear.
"Gwa! Ne-Nee-chan, t-that hurts!". Akira said, trying to hold back a tear.
As I let of the student’s face and Setsuna continues from where I ended.
"Akira-Senpai, if you really wish to make better memories of your last year in High School, you should start by not sleeping in the classroom after class ends and asks someone to hang out with you somewhere else instead. Nobody is going to say no to the one of the school's "Dual Beauties", especially the men. Pfuh!" I notice Setsuna holding back a giggle at the end there.
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"So you say Setsuna-san! But, you know that I can't utter a single complete sentence towards strangers! Last time I actually managed to ask a classmate to hang out with me with Uncle's help, one of the girls got jealous. Thinking I was hitting on her crush, she tossed my lunch in the thrash when I wasn't looking while her friends got pissed and bullied me AND him into submission…people are scary…" Responding rather depressingly, it's actually remarkable how much Akira is a lightning rod for bad people, misfortune and how capable of lighting the fires of jealousy in most of the girls in school. Myself included.
"As we can see, my "secret" greatly hinders any of my progress to talk with either the boys or girls normally hahaha…" That weak attempt of self-pity laughter and gloss over the core of the problem rubbed me off the wrong way.
Perhaps due to the building bottled stress so far. I lose my patience, grab Akira by the collar of its shirt and shake its body around. Being so scrawny and thin, Aki-Nii’s feet were easily lifted off the floor.
"Gwaah! I can't take this anymore! That's your own damn fault for wearing a girl's uniform in the first place! Being more feminine and cuter than most! Do you even have any idea how many love letters we were asked to deliver it to you since the term started, huh?!Aren't you supposed to be the older brother here?! Then stop sulking and start acting like one!"
"N-Nee-chan, I ca-can't breathe…" He starts tap against arms and gasps for air.
This pale, baby-faced boy and cuter than most girls, which I'm shaking furiously is Akira Tsunaboshi. My older brother. Who is two years older than me and the son of my father first marriage with a woman which we only have heard the name of. Yuri Tsunaboshi.
People who knew her before have joked around that my brother must’ve carefully pulled our Father's bashfulness and his Mother beauty out of their genes. Possibly showcasing as to why, he looks so effeminate and prettier than most girls, especially our age.
From what we were told, she had died shortly after giving birth to him. I’ve also have heard that she was a great childhood friend of my parents and my uncle's, which is not very surprising once you stop to think about it. Considering that all four of them were pretty much raised in the same household.
Mom had consoled Father after Yuri passed away and they ended up falling in love with each other shortly afterwards. It's kind of a sensitive topic at home for them to talk about. So the two of us usually avoid asking anything about it, despite me and especially my brother being very curious in learning more about his biological mother that we have never met.
Regardless, he gets along incredibly well with Mom and usually are in sync with each other. But we sometimes suspect that neither of our parents have moved on from her.
Father sometimes has a very sad look on his face when he hears her name as well...
Despite my brother shy and lonesome exterior, he is actually one of the two most popular students in the school. Especially with boys who find him unbearably cute and beautiful, being part of the ‘Dual Beauties’, the most popular ‘girl’ amongst boys (Despite being a boy himself, which very few people know about it.) and the other student who is the most popular between girls being none other than Yozo-Senpai himself. While he isn’t aware of it, we recently learned that Aki-Nii also has a huge, almost cult-like group that has been watching him over the shadows ‘Akira-Chan Fan Club!’. They often cause just as many problems as our uncle. But much like him, none of them seems to have their lesson no matter how many times I try to beat sense into them.
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Aki-Nii (Have to sometimes to remind myself not to call him that while we are in school.) also is the captain of the school archery club and the drama club often asks him make costumes for them. He has skills that puts other housewives to shame. Most of our chores at home has been relegated to him since we were little. He cooks, cleans, take care of chores, groceries and even sews. Whoever gets married with him is probably hitting the jackpot. I can already picture him be wearing a wedding dress in the ceremony…
Ahem! Anyways, Yozo-Senpai frequently visits to their clubroom and help the club out, despite not actually being part of it and sometimes busy with paperwork for the student council. He has been trying to help Aki-Nii make friends sine he entered high school ahead of us but to no avail so far. Other than our family and Setsuna. Yozo-Senpai is the only one who knows Aki-Nii’s "secret".
Now, you might be wondering why my older brother is fixated in wearing a girl's uniform. It's kind of a long and pathetic story so I will try to keep it short and simple to understand.
Our bastard of an uncle, which is often broke due to debts and gambling. (Which he denies being told he is addicted to it.) Leaving him always behind with his rent and bills. So what does he decide to do in order remediate the situation? He sometimes sells pictures of half-naked women that he takes in many of his "misadventures". Such as the one he just did earlier today with the three dunces. According to him, he swears to act alone on that front and makes sure to blur faces or any naughty bits beforehand. As if that makes this any better. I was utterly disgusted when I first caught wind of it and no matter how many times I beat him over this, he does not budge.
He also had used said photos to bribe his landlord and weasel out of his rent. But the landlord's cousin who started to live with him for some reason, took none of my uncle’s bullshit and stepped in. Threatening to evict him if he did not payed his long overdue rent.
Out of desperation, my uncle decided to spy on her and find some weak point or something sway her.
He discovered that beneath that rough and unrelenting exterior, she had some twisted tastes if you can call it that. Those tastes being cute, young boys wearing dresses. He then used a ten-year old Akira girlishness to his advantage. Taking many innocent pictures of a young Akira and coercing him into wearing dresses and the like for months on end. That caused my already timid brother grow an abnormal attachment for skirts and female clothing, feeling incredibly anxious and nervous when not wearing one, making people think he is a girl in their eyes and since he is so timid, Akira never corrects the misunderstanding. Making things even worse than it should.
His shyness got severely worse during his last year in middle school, before enrolling here. He and his only friend in class at the time were severely bullied on a daily basis because his fame amongst boys and his friend's "chubbiness". His worries and misfortune seems to have followed him all the way into high school…
Once his "secret" was discovered back then, their bullying then only escalated further…
It reached the point where it sparked a tragedy that became one of the darkest moments in our city's history and nearly broke my brother’s mind into shambles. Throwing him into even further depression and made him unable to speak for over a year, let alone get closer to anyone due to the trauma it caused while also severely heightened his female clothing attachment….
My brother and our family might be kind or lenient enough to not blame our uncle over what had happened back then. But I will never forgive him for what he suffered during those times and is one of the main reasons why I utterly despise my uncle so much.
For some reason, Aki-Nii does not seem to blame nor feel any resentment towards our uncle either. They sometimes even meet each other on the weekends to hang out somewhere in my uncle's words ‘family bonding’ or help my brother make friends, get out of his shell or ‘teach how to hit on college chicks’. But so far, his attempts showed to be fruitless.
Although even I cannot deny that they have really grew closer in the last three years especially. Akira's indiscriminate kindness and forgiveness sometimes makes me question if we truly weren't born from the same mother…
Realizing that I had lost myself thought for a good while. I let go of my brother's collar and let his feet meet the ground.
"Sorry, my bad. Lost my temper again. Today has been a long day."
"Geez, Nee-Chan! It's not like I can help it; you know? Besides, whenever I think someone could find out about my secret again, my body tenses up, I begin to stutter and my legs freeze before I can even think…It's not like there is much I can do about it anyways. I’m going to graduate and end up living holed up in my room until the day I die…" Akira eyes become downcast and his voice gets lower and lower.
Uh-oh, he is nearing the deep end of abyss again. Better talk about something else and change the subject before he reaches the point of no return and end up sheltering himself in his room completely for the weekend.
"Mom told me to hand you this, buy the groceries from this list and asked you to cook dinner tonight. Seems like the two will come home very late again today."
"Eh, again? It's the fourth day in this week alone! Hopefully they aren't that troubled with work or Dad got in trouble with that mysterious second job of his…"
"Doubtful. Considering how Mom is capable to interact with virtually anyone and make them feel bad about themselves if anyone tries to take advantage of her while Father's face can make even the most heinous person think twice before doing something stupid."
"You do know that they are supposed be a teacher and principal respectively. Not a loving child or some sort of Yakuza boss, right?" I hear Setsuna whispering from behind us while being completely serious.
My brother seems to have now noticed the heavy bags under my eyes and asks me concerned.
"You look exhausted today too Nee-Chan! Is there anything you'll like to eat in particular to make you feel better? I might have to drop by on the Drama clubroom to give them the new costume they asked me to make and then check on the newcomers in the Archery clubroom but I will cook anything you today since you are working hard, Nee-Chan! The store probably has some sales going on right now…"
He says it with a beaming smile. At least helping and taking care of others makes Aki-Nii takes his mind off his demons…
"Akira-Senpai really is starting to look more and more like a proper housewife by the day. At least more than us… or rather, you specifically, Ai." My friend behind me states it sarcastically and nudges my right arm.
I decide to ignore her comments and begin ponder on what I would like to eat today since my brother offered so kindly. I sometimes have to be reminded that he still is the older brother sometimes.
"Nothing in particular comes to mind right now. But, since you’re offering, might as well ask-"
"HOHOHOHO!!! EXCUSE OUR INTRUSION!"
We interrupted by someone's yelling behind us. Followed by the loud sound of a slamming doorframe. I would recognize this irritating laughter and grating voice from anywhere in the world. There is pair of students raising a red carpet where she walks.
"Go-good evening! I-is something th-the ma-matter, Fu-Fu-Fujisaki-san?" My brother asks, completely tongue-tied and nervous by our intruder overbearing presence.
"Rejoice before my gracefulness peasants! Yozo-kun asked me to return the handkerchief and textbook that he borrowed from you, Akira-Senpai!”
She points at the small bag in her hands. The tall girl behind her elaborates.
“Koroogi-San said he was very sorry. He meant to give it back during lunch break but by the time it actualy came, he apparently forgot all about it.”
The chubby boy behind the two stepped forward and continues explaining.
“He couldn’t go and look for you because he going to be late for work. Apparently, he took an unexpectedly long nap and lost track of time.”
“O-Oh. T-Thanks for the-the help! Yo-You guys didn’t need to-to go out of your way about it…” Aki-Nii was still tongue tied and mumbled while keeping his facial expressions hidden by looking at the floor.”
“Exactly! A high noble such as myself would normally not bother with menial tasks such as these! But, since it is a personal request of Yozo-Kun! I can make an exception! However, the three of you should either be paying tribute or grovel before me! Fujisaki Naomi! HOHOHO!"
(Great! Another moron that I really didn’t wanted to meet today!)
Like the loudmouth over here introduced herself, her name’s Fujisaki Naomi, Yozo-Senpai's classmate. As you can see, she is one of ‘those’ people and an absolute pain to deal with. But, in a completely different manner than the Pig. I can’t even fathom than there are actually people like her in real life.
She is also part of the photography club. Where I have to admit, but she is a complete expert in the area.
Naomi lives on the house next door to mine and despite being a year older than me and Setsuna, we somehow always ended up bumping into each other one way or the other.
Such as back when we were still in daycare, mixed in the groups of kids that Yozo lead around and even paired with us during school trips. We hate each other’s presence and are often fighting or competing for something. She is probably the third one on my list of people I despise the most.
Her family is filthy rich, very snob and one of the most influential figures in the cit. Being one of the greatest business rivals of our family for decades.
There is rumor going around that they faced an enormous setback and fell from grace recently. Her parents went into hiding and that she is currently living with her grandfather…
She is almost always found with the two cronies behind her. They are close friends since junior high.
It’s kind of embarrassing but they must the equivalent to Naomi, of what Setsuna means to me.
The tall girl is the captain from the track and field club while the fat nerdy boy next to her is part of the chess club or something like that. I think their names were Yuripe and Yagami respectively?
Anyways, they aren't important, plain and completely blends in with the environment anywhere they go. They should be treated as air, ignored and deemed completely irrelevant. It would be more actually accurate to describe them as her minions instead of friends.
I let a long, tired sigh for the umpteenth time today, pinch the bridge of my nose and then point at the table next to us.
"Look Naomi. I REALLY don't have the energy to deal with you today. Just put the bag over there and leave us alone."
"Wow dare you talk to me like this! That’s the reason why you ended up becoming Lil Miss Demeanor!"
"Waaa…" Sensing the impending doom, Akira panics while looking at us back and forth, not knowing what to do. The minions behind Naomi gasps and hides behind Setsuna, who is simply watching us from the sidelines with complete indifference.
There it is! The nickname that I abhorred and stuck with me to the eighth grade! My blood immediately begins to boil after hearing her call me by that name. I grab the juice box next to Aki-Nii’s bag and spray Naomi’s shirt all over with it.
"You snob bimbo! I finally managed to get rid of that accursed nickname before entering this school and getting a clean slate! I absolutely not letting it stick to me once again!"
I held my ground and raise my fists at her.
"Bring it on then! I'll show how to respect your elders AND superiors!"
I lose my composure for a second but I suddenly remember the juicy gossip I had heard the other day. Making me relax, drop my fighting position and a devious, cocky smile surface from my lips. Almost mirroring the ones my uncle usually has.
"Oh, Really? You demanding tribute for something is rather new! Is there anything wrong going on the Fujisaki household? Perhaps you are short on cash? I heard you were seen going inside a soup kitchen last Wednesday! Perhaps it was for charity but I doubt someone like you would go there for just that reason! I can safely assume you were there to eat. Troubles in paradise maybe?"
"Ugh!" Her friends immediately freeze in place and gulp down their saliva.
“Wha…” Afraid of what I just said, Naomi goes white as a sheet.
"Oh?" Setsuna blurt it out robotically yet with a hint of interest over the news while polishing her nails. But loses her interest right away and goes back to tending to her hands.
"Not only that! I also heard from a veritable source that you are using your photographic skills to set up the network my uncle uses to spy on and sell pictures of other half-naked women as well! What happened to the high and mighty Fujisaki that she had to stoop so low huh?! Have anything to say for yourself? Miss Piggy feeder?"
Disturbing silence now covers the entire room for a whole minute and Naomi facial expressions darkens.
"You…"
"You?" I repeat after her smugly.
"…YOU'RE DEAD BITCH!" Naomi's face twists and turns into one of unbridled anger. Full of murderous intent. Okay, I'm the first to admit. I may have pushed things a bit too far this time around…
Naomi pounces at my direction and I give a step back, dodging her fast jab at a hair's breadth. She follows it up with a roundhouse kick. I duck underneath it and prepare to counterattack with an uppercut. But, the moment I steel my resolve and try to throw a punch to defend myself…
PI-PI-PIRI-PI-PI!!
The stopwatch on my wrist and the cellphone in my shirt pocket begins to ring at the same time, in a harmonious melody.
I then take a look at the doorframe behind Naomi and find the tabby cat that the girls on the hallway were talking about earlier. The moment our eyes met, we nod to each other and the feline them scampers away down the hallway. Duty calls.
I lower my fists, dodge Naomi's barrage of kicks and throws a desk at her so I can gain some distance.
(Now, how can I get escape this situation?)
I really hate myself for saving the disturbing info for an occasion such as this one. It feels like I am about make a deal with the devil. But I don't think it will be possible to easily brush Naomi off me fast enough otherwise…
"Shit! My boss is calling! Oi! Setsuna! Listen up!"
"Hm?" I then notice my friend, still sitting down on the same chair. She was now fiddling with her phone and watching the scene unfold, as if it had nothing to do with her while the other three cowered behind her. I take a deep breath and…
"I know where my uncle is hiding his ‘Tutoring Naughty College girls! Now in Glasses!’ collection in the school! If you help me escape, I’ll tell you where he-"
A sudden, strong gust of wind surge from behind us. With enough force to flip over all of our skirts. Before we even realized, Setsuna now stood between of me and Naomi before I was even done speaking.
She stops Naomi charging at me, takes a firm judo-like stance. Her eyes are now glimmering and voice full of vigor that you never find on her otherwise.
"ORAAAAA!!!"
Releasing a war cry. Her eyes are now glimmering and voice full of vigor that you never find on her otherwise.
She pulls the enraged Naomi arm into a lighting speed shoulder throw. The floor beneath cracks a little bit by the unprecedented strength and Setsuna proceeds to follow that up by pinning Naomi in a Camel Clutch.
"HEY! TWO STOOGES OVER THERE! HELP ME HOLD HER DOWN IF YOU DON'T WANT HER OR ANYONE ELSE GETTING HURT! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE, AI?! GO ALREADY!!"
Setsuna shouts from the very bottom of her soul, while pointing at the door with her chin.
"LET ME GO FOUR EYES! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! YOU TWO DARE GO AGAINST ME TOO?! SHIT! SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAD THIS MUCH STRENGTH?!"
"It's through the power of love and learning information of my loved one's taste and secrets! I would tear a car in half with my bare hands for it!
It's moments and responses like these that I deeply question and fear my best friend's sanity. But I have bigger worries to take care at the moment.
“Thanks!”
I nod at her and thank the goodness for Setsuna and her unsettling dedication for my uncle...At least the moment.
"Gotcha! Aki-Nii, I'm off to work! So, don't worry about me!" I prepare to sprint towards the hallway.
"Nee-Chan! What about dinner?! I also need your help with carrying the bags!"
"Red Velvet Chiffon Cake!" I answer with the first food that pops up on my mind whilst turning the doorknob, without looking back.
I know that my brother is so scrawny and weak that he probably cannot carry even the smallest mounts of weight to our home but I can’t worry about that now.
"But that is just dessert! One incredibly hard to bake I might add! Wait! Nee-Chan!"
"Senpai. Il help you with those! But I want the volcanic curry that Sensei had taught you in return!" Setsuna says rather energetically while raising one of her hands and holding the enraged Naomi down with the other.
"Eh?! I have to cook for you too, Setsuna-San?! Wait! You're coming too?!"
"LET ME GO YOU CLOWNS!!"
I leave the chaotic mess behind and bolt out the hallway.
Unable to hear their voices anymore, I pull out my still constantly ringing cellphone and see "Agnicia-Sama" multiple texts written all over the screen while I make way towards the gates.
While running and jumping through some windows as a shortcut, the cat catches up to me and start following me side by side.
"Took nya long enough! Boss is going to get pissed at us for getting late again!" The tabby cat began to speak to me.
"Sorry! Something came up and I was cornered by Naomi! You have any clue as to what is going on?"
"Nope! Boss haven’t contacted me either! But, the moment I felt this strong presence popping out of nowhere, I started looking for you immediately Nya!"
"…Is it him?" I ask while being afraid of the answer. Already feeling my headache to start to spread further and my blood burning even more ardently. I can almost feel a fever coming my way due to stress.
"…Probably Nya." She muttered in a low voice.
*Sigh*
Lovely. The very last person I wanted to deal with today has decided to show up. Even more than the pig. That person is also the reason why I stayed up so late at night yesterday.
I seriously need to take breather from everything related to my daily life. The next chance I get, Il collapse and sleep for an entire day’s worth.
I'm so much stressed and irritated nowadays that I can feel wrinkles starting to show on my face while frowning.
By the next time ‘Ero-Sensei’ or one of his disciples decides to mess around I might end killing him by on accident. Which I honestly doubt it's going to take him that long to find a way to piss me off somehow.
After exiting the grounds and making there was nobody close to nearby, I hop and hide behind some bushes. The cat begins chanting something in another language, a magic circle mysteriously surges on the soil, starting to surround us and glow.
"Nyamo! Magical Girl Transform!" The two of us are suddenly engulfed by a bright pink light…
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