《Hello, Inside Monster》CHAPTER XXVI: WHO AM I FOR YOU?
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The water pours into the sink, filling the bathroom with a sweet noise. But even this sound cannot make DooSan smile or feel that he’s better now.
He was back home for about two hours already, but he couldn’t force himself to go to sleep because something was pressing his chest so hard that he couldn’t even breathe.
“What the hell happens to me? It can’t be because of her,” he mumbled, and, supporting his hands on the edge of the sink, he closed his eyes, leaving the water to drop off from his wet face back into the sink.
After SolHi left that night, he felt that he was missing something and that he had been wrong in front of her. And this worm of guilt was sneaking throughout his being and wasn’t allowing him to breathe normally.
“You are a damn idiot, Han DooSan. What the hell you were thinking about when you opened your fucking mouth? You and your stupid pride. Damn it, DooSan, it had been only a fucking kiss. How… Damn… damn” he yelled and kicked the leg of the sink, but the pain felt in his leg made him squat. “Now it’s a whole. You can go to a river and sink in it. Nobody will feel your damn absence.”
A powerful hit in the front door made him stand up in a jump and wonder who can be that late at night. For a few seconds nothing else was heard, but soon after somebody started to hit the door with both fists, and SolHi’s voice was heard yelling DooSan’s name at all the four winds.
“Han DooSan! You … fucking idiot, open this door. I know you are there. Open this door or I swear that I go to bring the gun and to …” but, when she tried to kick the door, it suddenly opened and she fell over DooSan who was staring at her as if he saw a ghost.
SolHi, grabbing with her both hands his arms, lift her glance and, staring up, she smiled: “I knew you are home,” she said.
DooSan at first didn’t understand what was wrong with her, but when he approached his face of hers, he smelled the strong smell of alcohol and he pushed his head back: “yeah, Ian SolHi, how much did you drink? You stink!”
Listening to his words, SolHi growled. “Like you've never been drunk” and, staggering to her feet, she bent and grabbed a backpack that had been left on the floor. “Move aside!” she demanded and, pushing DooSan away from her, she entered the apartment.
“Yah, where are you going? Ian SolHi, did you look at the hour? It’s 2 A.M in the morning, for God’s Sake. This isn’t the time to enter a single man’s apartment.”
Standing in the middle of the living room, SolHi turned toward him and started to laugh, taking him by surprise.
“What? What now? Why are you laughing now?” DooSan asked her, staring at her like a perfect dumb.
“Now you are a man, huh? What convenient. When you want you are a man, but when you must be one you are just a pu… ups, sorry. It flew out of my mouth” and she turned her back to him and moved toward the kitchen.
DooSan disliked her hint and with his hands in his pockets, he pushed the door with his leg, closing it. “I’m not a man, huh?! You wanted this. I won’t be the guilty one if something happens today. You came alone here. Nobody invited you.”
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He moved away from the door, intending to approach SolHi who was looking for something in the kitchen, but he stopped, seeing her hurrying back to him with two cups in her hand, still staggering to her feet. “And … what do you want to do with those glasses now? Don’t tell me… will you…?”
SolHi grinned and suddenly she sat down in the middle of the room, squeezing the glasses and the backpack to her chest: “you are smart, Prosecutor Han. Not for nothing they call you “the smart owl.” You are a damn computer that knows and memorizes everything.”
“Should I take it as a compliment?”
“No. It was an insult, but I doubt computers can understand this. Take a seat. We’ll drink together!”
DooSan squatted not that far from her, watching her in silence how she opened the backpack and took a few bottles of soju out of it. “Wonderful! There is more than to kill a horse and she wants to drink all this when she barely stands.”
SolHi instead didn’t pay attention to his words: she grabbed the bottle lid and, forcing with it a little, she opened the soju bottle. Then, she filled the glasses and with a skillful movement she pushed one glass toward DooSan … on the slippery floor, the glass moved straight and stopped at DooSan’s feet. “Drink it, if you honor me!” she said and, without waiting for his reaction, SolHi emptied her glass.
DooSan instead stared at the glass with alcohol and smiled. “yah, why are you here, SolHi? I don’t think that you came here only to drink with me.”
“Of course … not. I’m here because of the kiss.”
DooSan hiccupped, staring at her. “Because of the kiss? What kiss?”
“The one you owe me,” and this time she hiccupped. “Last time … when those motherfuckers were about to catch us … I was the one who kissed you and so, we both saved. This time … you must do it, because if you do this then we won’t have any debts to each other anymore, and this way none of us will feel awkward seeing the other one.”
“What the hell she’s talking about? I understood no damn word of what she says.”
SolHi grinned while looking at him … DooSan instead grimaced unsatisfied because he didn’t know what to do with her because SolHi was drinking cup after cup and she already emptied 2 soju bottles.
Suddenly SolHi walked on all fours toward him, forcing DooSan to crawl back, but he didn’t move that far because he stumbled and fell to the floor. She took advantage of it and, grabbing his shirt with both hands SolHi dragged him toward her and their lips were about to touch each other. DooSan quickly blinked from his eyelashes because this approaching of their bodies was something that made him feel anxious. Especially her pink lips that were moving to sketch a smile and even if she’s drunk, she looks so beautiful, kneeled in front of him while looking into his eyes.
“Kiss me!” she suddenly said and DooSan again hiccupped, but even if he wanted to listen to her command, he knew that it will be a mistake because he didn’t know how far they can get this time. “Kiss me!” she repeated the order, but nothing happened again and this made her smile with sadness. “DooSan, tell me, who am I for you?”
Stuttering, DooSan tried to release from her “trap” but SolHi wasn’t ready to give up. “Who are you for me? What do you mean?”
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“I mean exactly what you are thinking of: who I am for you - a friend, an enemy, or just an idiot who trusted a sudden kiss.”
This unexpected confession of her amazed DooSan, because he understood that she lied to him that night when she said that their kiss meant nothing for her. “She lied to me,” he thought and suddenly he smiled.
“Oh, this smile! I remember it!” SolHi mumbled and the tip of her finger touched his lips. This touch made DooSan wince - it was something that he had never expected: the woman he hated that much here, in his house, so close to his body, and that powerful desire to kiss her and to have her into his arms was boiling into his chest.
He never felt this before. Not even for his former girlfriends and he understood then that he always had a wrong idea about what love is. But this time is something new for him. It’s something that moves everything inside him and that makes him think that he goes crazy.
“You didn’t answer,” SolHi mumbled and again smiled with sadness. “It’s ok. It’s not necessary to answer. I know that…” but when she retracted her hands and wanted to crawl back to the soju bottles, DooSan suddenly hugged her, approaching her to his chest. This sudden movement was something that SolHi wasn’t expecting and even if her eyes are seeing everything around moving dizzyingly, DooSan instead is right in front of her, staying still.
Then, there are their hearts that beat madly in their chests, and also, they can hear their breath loudly hissing through their nostrils. And this scared her and she tried to release herself from that trap, but she found it impossible.
“Let me go!” she whispered, but DooSan wasn’t ready to let her go. “Prosecutor Han, I think…”
“Why are you here, Ian SolHi? What exactly are you looking for in this apartment?” he whispered, still staring into her eyes.
SolHi instead wasn’t that sure about the answer. “I don’t know. I just … decided to come.”
“For what?”
“For answers!” she said, after a few moments of silence. “But now I’m not that sure anymore that I want to know them.”
“Why?” and DooSan feels that he’s about to get mad because he feels that she wants to run away from him while all that he wants is to find out the reason why she’s here. He just wants to hear a single word from her, even if he knows that this is madness.
A sudden kiss instead awakened him from his daydream: instead of an answer, SolHi stuck her lips off his and she stood like this waiting for something, but seconds passed in a row and he still stood like frozen. But he reacted at the moment SolHi moved intending to go. His lips squeezed hers and he closed his eyes, trying to feel with all his body the power of that feeling.
It’s strange this kiss, but even so, this is something they both wanted and they had been looking for that kiss for so long. They didn’t know that none of them was looking for revenge all this time, but for love, but they both were so stubborn to accept what their heart was yelling them to look for.
***
Yu and Kan continue in the same street bar they had been with the rest of the team before. Now left are only the two of them, but even if there are many empty bottles on the table none of them is drunk.
Playing with his glass, Kan stares at the liquid that slowly slips on the glass walls. “yes, you are right,” he said in the end and emptied his glass. “SolHi is the one who had been accused of Han YuSan’s death, 7 years ago. However, I don’t think that she’s guilty of his murder.”
“Why so? If she still is considered being the main suspect in that case it means that there is something that bonds her of the case.”
“And you are right. They saw each other that day: as prosecutor and witness in a case.”
“What? Han YuSan was the prosecutor and Ian SolHi was the witness? Don’t tell me, did he suspect her of something?”
“No, it’s exactly the opposite. SolHi was suspecting Han YuSan of covering the real rapist in that case. The matter is that before entering the police, SolHi worked as a teacher in high school and one of her students had been the victim of a rape. However, that criminal is still unknown till today.”
“But this is madness. Why did SolHi think that prosecutor Han YuSan had something to do with that case? He wouldn't have ever covered a criminal.”
“She didn’t believe that he covered somebody, but she still thinks that he was the criminal.”
“Ya, that’s insane. Prosecutor Han was a good man. He had never…”
“Don’t be that nervous. It’s just something we thought about, but we never found evidence of it. However, there had been something that made SolHi think he had something to do with that case. What evidence … I can’t tell you.”
“And why not?”
“Because this is something personal. Something that only SolHi can reveal. If she wants to do this, of course. But what I wanted to ask you: why didn’t you know about that case? I mean about that SolHi and Han YuSan first met because of a case.”
“Aaa, this … I wasn’t working then with prosecutor Han. We worked before this, for several months, but later I was sent in the province, because of another case and … much later I found out about his death.”
“And … when did you and Han DooSan meet?”
“Two years ago. It’s when he told me that his brother was killed. He never told me who killed him. He just mentioned that it was a woman the killer and nothing more. And I never found out the name of that woman. Till today SolHi mentioned who that woman was.”
“And she did wrong. Now everybody will blame her even more than before. She was always was insulted and forced to fight for her position. Being an ex-convict, it wasn’t easy for her and if something happened with our team, something bad I mean, everybody was pointing toward her. However, she never complained.”
“She always can leave this job and to go,” Yu said and he poured more soju in Kan’s glass.
“I hope not because she hasn’t elsewhere to go. And … if she goes, I go too. And Yoon Suk I think will also follow us, because without her … there’s no fun to work.”
A short silence took over them while they were emptying glass after glass. However, it seemed that the alcohol doesn’t take over them and this was right, because then when something hard presses your chest no matter how much alcohol you drink it didn’t kick you down.
“She’s a great woman. SolHi, I mean! She worked hard all these three years since she entered the police and she also suffered in silence. But she never complained and she never tried to get revenge even if there are a lot of those who made her suffer. Between those bastards can also be mentioned Han DooSan.”
“You can’t blame him. He lost a brother that night.”
“SolHi instead lost much more and … yeah, you are right. They both lost people who won’t ever turn back into this world.”
“People? Who did SolHi lose that day?”
“Never mind. It’s just … maybe you’ll find out this … one day, but it won’t be ever found out coming from my mouth.”
“Anyway, I don’t think that they hate each other that much.”
“What do you mean?” and Kan stared at Yu with curious eyes.
“That kiss. You know, the one A Rim mentioned when we were all together - that wasn’t only a simple kiss and I’m very sure about this.”
“And I think that you are wrong. How can the cat and the dog love each other? Don’t be silly.”
“And why did they deny it then? They could just say that it was just a simple kiss. However, one said that it meant nothing for him while the other one, hearing this, tried to make the other one suffers.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t see anything of this.”
“Maybe because you are just blind when things are related to SolHi. You can’t deny the fact that you care about her … like a father, of course, but for a “father” you don’t notice anything around … even those who are around her. And Han DooSan is one of them. These two will be together in the end. Trust me.”
“Yeah, of course, I trust you: they’ll end up together - yeah, in the same grave after shooting each other,” and Kan emptied his glass while grimacing unsatisfied.
***
30 minutes later, after receiving a phone call from the Police, inspector Yu entered in a hurry into Kanam Police Station, while his eyes were looking for someone between all the policemen and defendants gathered there.
“Inspector Yu, here!” detective Gi raised his arm, making signs toward Yu to approach him. Yu stopped in place seeing the back of a young man who was wearing a black parka and he was also hooded. Furious, Yu approached the young man and, slapping the back of his head, made the guy staring at him.
“Father, it hurts!” SuJin mumbled. He’s a young man about 19, 1.8 meters tall, and even if it can be noticed that he’s training his body he still looks skinny. Seeing his father’s furious glance, he sat nicely on the chair, hid the phone in his pocket, and took off the hood.
“What this time?” Yu hissed the words.
“Nothing special! I just …” SuJin mumbled, but still avoiding his father’s glance.
Yu slapped his son’s head once again and sat down next to him. SuJin instead moved on to the next chair, but when Yu stared furiously at him, he returned to his chair. “You’ll kill me someday with your stupid ideas and games and … I swear that right after leaving this place I’ll send you to Army, young man. You just…”
“Well, before Army, this young man must answer for what he did,” Gi said, interrupting their talk.
Yu took the file from Gi’s hand and after reading what was written there, he slapped his forehead. His father’s gesture made SuJin move in place because he knew that after this, he’s for sure a dead man.
“Electronic espionage, huh?” Yu mumbled. “And I thought that you are dumb as the night. Oh, boy! Ya, Gi, tell me, please! Maybe I understood this wrong: did my boy do this? He? A stupid idiot that barely finished school?”
“Well, he didn’t do this alone. It was a nice group there, but we caught only two of them: SuJin and his friend, Pack Gin Hiok. However, things aren’t that bad for SuJin, because he couldn’t take that money out of the account.”
“And … can you send him to jail too?” Yu asked and his question surprised both SuJin and detective Gi.
“What? What do you mean?” Gi said, amazed that a father is asking to close his kid in jail and not imploring to release him because he’s just a kid.
“Yeah, don’t get me wrong, but if this idiot did something wrong, he must answer for this. Not for nothing, I take care of idiots like him all day long.”
“Father! I’m not guilty! I just tried to help someone. He said that he can’t enter his account and that he just needs to check something. That’s all!”
“And why didn't he go to the bank then?”
“Because he forgot the password. I was just trying to help him to recover it. That’s all.”
“SuJin, tell me, son, are you stupid or do you only pretend to be one?” and Yu looked deeply into his son’s eyes. SuJin instead continued to look at his father with innocent eyes. “If one forgets his password he goes to the bank and he asks for it. Not for nothing they have their workers there. If not then they would have hired idiots like you to break their account, idiot!” and another slap was heard, this time over SuJin’s back.
“The good news here is that…”
“Aaaa, there is good news too,” Yu mumbled ironically. “Well, go ahead! Surprise me!”
Gi shook his head. “As I said: the good news is that he only had to do with small clients and that there’s no money missing from that bank account. There will be no charge for this, but he still has to pay a fee because he entered in the National Bank Account!”
Yu started to laugh, taking everybody by surprise. “Ya, SuJin, what’s next: NASA? Pentagon? Please, tell me now to know what to expect from you, idiot!”
“There’s no other one,” SuJin mumbled. “As a Black Unicorn…”
“As a what…”
“Black Unicorn. This was his nickname in the system,” Gi answered for the boy.
“Black Snake you should have named you, not Black Unicorn, you…” Yu stood up and started to walk next to them. “So, what’s next: what jail he’ll visit now?”
“None if he accepts his guilt and pays the fee. This is his first crime, so we can leave him to go.”
“But … I’m not guilty,” SuJin yelled. “I was just doing my job and I’m enough big to decided what to do.”
“Really?” Yu said. “And … why if you are so big, I was called here then?”
“Because they insisted. If I had to call you then…”
“Well… if you insist… I can go, but SuJin if I go then you’re dead for me, and … you must work for a living. So, will you sign that paper accepting your guilt or should I go and then you forget that you have a father? It’s up to you, boy!”
SuJin grimaced unsatisfied … he knows his father and he knows that if Yu decides something then there’s no way back. He must betray his friends if he doesn’t want to lose his father and … his hand grabbed the pen and sign the paper where he was accepting his guilt and that for paying for his crime, he must do social work.
***
SolHi and DooSan sleep on the same bed. He’s half-naked while she’s all covered with the duvet. She suddenly stretches her hand to the side looking for something, without opening her eyes.
“Water!” she mumbled. “Please, someone to give me some water, or I swear I’ll burn in hell now!” but she wide-opened her eyes when her hand touched DooSan’s face, grabbing his nose.
A yell scared DooSan who jumped off the bed looking frightened around: “what? What’s happening? Is there anybody else here or what?”
SolHi squeezed the duvet to her chest. “What the hell are you doing here?”
DooSan calmed down, understanding that she doesn’t remember anything from the last night. “Well, except us, nothing special! I’m just living here! The question is what you are doing here.”
SolHi looks around and she understood that she was not in her house. She noticed then that DooSan wears pants and that she’s wearing clothes too. “Ya, you are right. Nothing happened between us, even if God knows how hard I suffered,” DooSan mumbled and throws her a bottle of water.
She quickly took off the lid and drank thirstily, while her eyes were spying on DooSan who was looking for a clean T-shirt. “And … why if nothing happened am I here then?”
DooSan grimaced with satisfaction: “if you want to know then try to remember because…”
He was taken by surprise when SolHi suddenly stood up and passed in a hurry beside him leaving the room. A few seconds later the slamming of the front door was heard, a sign that she left the apartment. “And … what was this?” DooSan wondered, blinking amazed from the eyelashes.
***
When the elevator’s door opened, SolHi practically jumped out of it, still forcing with the second shoes to put it on. “You are totally out of your mind, Ian SolHi. How the hell to come to his apartment and drunk? Didn’t you suffer enough in this life? Now you’ll be his object of mockery for the rest of your life. It wasn’t enough that you were his enemy, the woman he hates the most. Now…”
Listening to DooSan’s voice who descended with the second elevator, SolHi started to run and exited the building. She stopped when a thrown egg hit his forehead and slipped on her face.
It was something that she hadn't expected. For a few seconds, she froze … around her instead was noisy because of the group gathered in front of the building and they all were yelling at her that she’s just a murderer and how did she dare to try to seduce the victim's brother?! That she must die and that she should not have been ever born.
DooSan exited the building at the moment SolHi was grabbed by a woman and dragged in the middle of the crowd, kicking her, and, slapping her and, insulting her for spending the night with him.
There wasn’t anybody to help her and DooSan was too unpleasantly surprised with what was happening to react and to help her. It was something new for him, but it was something usual for SolHi. She passed through it before and she knew that fighting with them was useless.
And she just waited: sitting on the floor and receiving all the hits. She knew that it will end soon: in one way or another and for this she decided to wait.
A few minutes later, Kan stopped the car and ran toward her, followed by Yu and Yoon Suk, while behind them the police patrols were also approaching the group.
SolHi had been taken out of the crowd that was threatening with killing her, but she denied to enter the car. She didn’t even look at Yoon Suk who gave her a handkerchief to clean her face. She simply couldn't look at him.
She left the handkerchief fell on the ground and moved away in silence. In her head, a lot of questions and black thoughts were spinning around and she wasn't listening to or seeing anything in front of her. She didn’t even look back to see DooSan’s face because she was convinced that he was happy now and for this, she continued to move further and she decided to never turn back to this place if she doesn’t want to die.
DooSan instead ran after her trying to stop her, but Yoon Suk stopped in front of him and, grabbing him by the arm, the young detective said: “if you care about her at least a little bit then you won’t follow her because if you follow her now then it will be everything over between you two.”
Yoon Suk and DooSan stared at each other, but none of them said one more word. Yoon Suk was sad because he understood who SolHi wanted next to her, while DooSan was still fighting with the avalanche of things that had happened to him in the last 24h, and which were overwhelming him now.
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