Xam heard someone clearing their throat at the other end of the tent.

A deep, powerful voice sounded.

"Why are you naked?" the voice said.

That's when Xam saw the commander.

He couldn't believe his eyes, this man, if you can still call him a man, was huge, full of scars and terribly intimidating.

Xam, who is usually good with words, had no voice.

"I, I yes. I'm naked... Hm"

He felt for the first time shame, he was not dealing with a man who allowed himself to make simple value judgments.

He felt instead that he was dealing with someone grounded and deeply sensible.

"Is this a choice, or not?" the commander asked coldly.

"Yes, it's a choice, of course. I have freed myself from my clothes. I am a free man!"

The commander rolled his eyes.

"Me and my men have been fighting for hundreds of years against a foreign army that seeks to take our land. I died in battle a long time ago. I am fighting an eternal war that found its conclusion long ago. Yet I have no hatred, neither for the enemy nor for myself."

Xam was confused. He didn't see the connection between the question he had been asked and the speech the commander was giving.

"Okay... I don't understand." said Xam honestly.

"Freedom, true freedom. It's accepting your destiny, your role, your quest. Freedom is following God. To shirk this responsibility is cowardice. In my ranks there are only free men, forged by war and blood. You are a man who has decided to let himself die, forsaken by his honor and stripped of his pride. I see no flame in your eyes, no passion, is that your freedom?"

"I am free because I can do what I want, it’s not freedom to be forced to fight, I’m sorry to say this but I think you are blinded by your duty…"

Xam raised his voice, he felt his pride being attacked, and still he managed to remain respectful in his anger, he so quick to let himself go, restrained himself.

"This freedom to live for yourself and your whims... I hate this childish behavior."

The commander's gaze changed, it was menacing, like a ferocious beast.

Xam did not move at all, like a man trying to avoid being killed by a predator.

"I don't like you, I don't like what you stand for, but I'm going to give you an opportunity to choose, "free man" that you are. I've had some deserters lately, I could use some new recruits. I'll train you and make you really free. What do you say? Will you join my ranks, or would you rather wait to disappear into the hole you came from?"

Xam couldn't say anything, even after several minutes.

He didn’t want to join but he was afraid of the consequences of a "no".

The commander became impatient.

"Well, I'll give you until next Sunday to decide, when the trumpets sound the next assault."

Xam nodded and walked out of the tent, past the two guards he had passed earlier and back to his forest, still with his faithful dog who had waited for him in front of the big tent.

On the way back, he reflected on his dialogue with the commander.

He didn't agree with everything he had heard, but his weakness had prevented him from answering properly.

He could only admit defeat.

Xam thought he was free, but even when he was alive he had never been pushed to his limits, so as soon as his life became difficult he took refuge in a forest with his dog.

He took off his clothes and lived like an animal as if to reject the society he found unfair and too difficult.

He thought he was free but he had always acted in reaction to the movements of the world, he was only a puppet of his desires and whims, but he was starting to realize it.

He understood that he had been wrong, that he had killed himself indirectly out of fear of life and that he was now even wasting death.

He had just understood all this, but he was not yet ready to admit it.

His pride still prevented him from recognizing that he was wrong about everything.

He went back into the forest with the firm intention of never coming out again.

Like a death after death.